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She could see it in his eyes, clear as day, that he wanted her to remember that day.
His eyes were filled to the brim with earnestness, with full, unbridled love and affection for the woman he’d come to know and love all those years ago, a warm and tender smile gracing his lips that felt both familiar and completely foreign to her at the same time, and yet the longer she spent trying to stroll down memory lane through the eyes of the man this Melinda woman had so clearly adored, the more Emma was losing herself along the way, trailing further and further away from the beaten path until there was nothing more for her to see than her own confused reflection staring back at her.
Emma could tell just by looking at him that Edred cared deeply about Melinda. Even as he recounted the day their love came into full fruition, she noted the warmth in his tone and the slightest hints of giddiness dancing along the edges of his words, and it made her heart sink with pity. No matter how hard she tried to bring those memories to the surface, the picture he painted so vividly refused to make its presence known in her mind; not that she should worry herself over that to begin with, but still– it was almost painful that she couldn’t at least pretend to understand what the elven man was talking about.
This wasn’t unlike Emma’s– or rather Melinda’s– experience with that compassionate and plucky fiance of Emma’s– Winston. Emma may not have been the one bearing witness to the face Winston had made that day, but the memories flitting in her mind were fresh and visceral, as if she herself really had been fully aware and present for the turmoil that was transpiring inside the church, and as they replayed, steady as a stream, in the forefront of her mind, she could only watch on in melancholic silence, unable to fully grasp the full scope of how she should have handled that situation either.
Like Edred, he, too, had been trying to reach out to his beloved Emma, his wide, glistening eyes silently pleading for her to let him help her through this, just let him help– but she’d felt so much remorse, so much internal conflict over how to navigate such a sensitive situation when she’d never once had to face those who were actively and personally involved in her previous host’s lives that she responded to Winston’s outstretched hand by not responding at all, her magic bursting wall to wall with her own pent up anger and vexation before she took off into the skies above, hoping to avoid anyone else who had the gall to stop her again, if only because she had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to take someone’s heart-wrenching pleas a second time.
As much as Emma had thoroughly convinced herself that she couldn’t care less about Edred’s plight nor this whole, “Order of the Unicorn,” business, let alone who this body she resided in truly belonged to now, there was a side to herself that she couldn’t deny, a part of her heart– the tiniest sliver tucked away deep within the farthest recesses of it– that felt nothing but a dull ache of sympathy for the elven man that stood before her. She couldn’t help it; it was in her nature to care about others, even if she didn’t know them personally and oftentimes couldn’t stand that aspect of herself, as she felt it made her too soft for her own good and, if anything, brought heaps of trouble along with it that made her question if she really should be as kind and understanding as she usually was, and although she hadn’t felt that pang of sympathy for Edred the first time she met him, she was certainly feeling it now, seeing as how he truly was making a genuine and conscious effort to reconnect with her– with Melinda– and showcasing a softer, more gentle side to himself that she’d personally never seen before.
It broke her heart in more ways than one, and she couldn’t even begin to fathom the lengths this tragedy took in causing such a massive upheaval to their lives that she was the one left to pick up the pieces, as if she had any sort of responsibility in repairing the damage they’d all experienced days prior; it tore her up inside, through and through, limb from limb, and she, too, felt she was close to reaching her limit on the emotional baggage she was forced to carry.
Emma was certain that if she really was Melinda that Melinda would have recalled every sequence of events that Edred had laid out in front of them without batting an eye before falling back into his arms once more, their souls so intrinsically entwined that it’d be impossible to ever separate them again. But then, if she were truly Emma, why did she feel so horribly guilty over a connection she’d never had with him to begin with? Why couldn’t she look away and move past this tender moment of vulnerability and fondness Edred was trying so hard to build between them when this had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Melinda?
It was as puzzling as it was frustrating, but for the life of her Emma couldn’t find it in her heart to dash away Edred’s hopes and dreams of his dearly beloved Melinda still residing somewhere deep inside her; she couldn’t, even if she hated that woman with every fiber of her being for stealing away the life she was going to live, for stealing away her one surefire way to happiness in the form of a man she herself had come to know and love as Winston before she and Melinda became permanently bound to one another.
And as much as Emma couldn’t stand the stubborn woman she’d made an unpleasant acquaintance with only briefly in the form of her fiery and intimidating spirit, she had to admit that she wouldn’t want to break the heart of the man Melinda loved more than anything in the universe either; and as unfair as their shared ordeal had been thus far, she couldn’t blame Edred or Melinda for feeling bitter and resentful toward her– because, unintentionally or not, she’d stolen away their happiness too, and she knew exactly how bad that felt, even if she was reluctant to acknowledge the similarities in their situation.
It was only when Winston suddenly tore his way onto the scene, thus breaking away any semblance of the quiet moment she and Edred had shared, that Emma never felt more thankful to have an unexpected interruption aid her in avoiding addressing the state of her mind as well as the feelings she had for Edred– or lack thereof– because she knew deep down she’d never have the heart to tell him the betraying words that echoed endlessly in the back of her mind:
“I’m sorry… I’m afraid I don’t remember any of that happening.”