Work Text:
"Shixiong. You forgot one of your folding fans at Bai Zhan Peak again."
Liu Qingge offered Shen Qingqiu his usual blank stare, arms crossed.
Shen Qingqiu's head perked up, looking at Liu Qingge in mild surprise. A 'oh' escaped his mouth as he blinked at the new arrival, setting down his tea. "Ah, Liu-shidi. You must have come to return it, then?"
Liu Qingge stared Shen Qingqiu down as he offered the folding fan out towards him, blinking slowly. "Correct."
Shen Qingqiu offered a slight smile, tilting his head to the side as he took the fan back, long and nimble fingers gently curling around it. He instinctively snapped it open right away, eyeing Liu Qingge with a hint of curiosity. "Shidi came all the way over to Qing Jing Peak to return a mere fan?"
This earned a scoff from Liu Qingge as he recrossed his arms over his chest. "I often return your fans."
A gentle laugh came from Shen Qingqiu, though he quickly stifled it by covering his mouth with his fan. The two of them stared at each other, before Shen Qingqiu lowered his fan ever so slightly, speaking with an upbeat lilt to his tone. "Shidi doesn't have to keep returning Shixiong's things, you know."
"Or," there was a slight pause before he leant forward with a smirk, "is it that Shidi wants to come and visit Shixiong?"
" What? " It practically came out as a yell while Liu Qingge's fists curled and his face grew hot with an unbearable sting. What was he trying to imply? Did he know—no, that couldn't be it. Surely, right?
"Why in the world would I want to?"
He came off far too defensive, judging from how Shen Qingqiu's eyes lit up with recognition.
"Shidi dislikes visiting this Shixiong?"
The question nearly knocked him off his feet. What was he even supposed to say? Telling the truth, telling a lie, either option wouldn’t be any good. ‘Yes, Shixiong, I really like visiting you and returning your stupid fans because I’m in love with you?’ Or worse, ‘No, Shixiong, I hate your guts and I don’t want to see you at all?’ No! Neither of those!
Conversations weren't his strong suit at all! He would really rather be fighting right now! It would be so much easier if he could just pummel Shen Qingqiu in and leave it at that!
"That doesn’t matter. This shidi is only here to return this fan."
A slight grin spread across Shen Qingqiu's face, and the sight made Liu Qingge's heart stop. Why was he grinning? Shen Qingqiu didn't grin like that. This was utterly absurd! Sure, fine, he had accepted years ago that Shen Qingqiu had a qi deviation, lost his memories, and became an entirely different person, but this? This? This was just abnormal.
"You return many of my fans, Qingge."
Qingge!
Is he insane? Since when were they on a first name basis!?
He couldn't stop staring at Shen Qingqiu. He couldn't even move at all, actually. What was he doing? He had to be playing some kind of mind game with him. There was no other explanation.
"It's fine to admit you want to be close to Shixiong."
What.
There was no way Shen Qingqiu was… flirting?
He was ready to flee and kick the door down on his way out.
"Is something the matter, Qingge?"
Yes! Is that not obvious?!
"Why do you keep saying that."
It comes out strangled, and Liu Qingge hardly realised he even spoke it until Shen Qingqiu tilted his head out of confusion.
"Saying what?"
"Qingge."
"Ah! This Shixiong assumed we were on good enough terms to do that." He offered a slight smile, idly fanning himself. "Is that all right?"
Liu Qingge felt as if he was going to explode on the spot. Good enough terms? Good enough terms?!
His fists clenched and his brows furrowed, as he ground his teeth together and glared at Shen Qingqiu like he was trying to kill him with his mind. What was even happening? This… This didn’t feel real. He had to ask himself again—was this really a mind game? What was Shen Qingqiu thinking? He had to shut this down immediately.
"Stop that."
Shen Qingqiu hummed. "Stop what?"
"Stop it," he hissed, his voice coming out far more aggressive than he intended.
He was better at fighting.
"Are you upset?"
Liu Qingge gave a slight 'tsk' as he whirled around sharply on his heel, heading straight for the door. "I'm leaving now."
"Ah—no, wait—"
In an instant, before he had even realised it, Shen Qingqiu had grabbed his wrist.
"Shen Qingqiu—"
"No, no, wait, please!"
Why did he sound so different from his usual self? Where had his grace and composure gone?
Liu Qingge's head snapped back, and their gazes met.
Shen Qingqiu looked... desperate. His brows were furrowed, yet his eyes—they looked almost teary, that couldn’t be right—were wide. It was as if he was about to lose Liu Qingge at that moment, as if he was being taken away from him, all while his fingers curled even tighter around Liu Qingge’s wrist.
"Just wait a moment. Stay longer, Liu-shidi."
Liu Qingge wasn't sure he understood the situation, but…
He didn't want to pull his wrist free, either.
Shen Qingqiu got closer, ever so closer. Liu Qingge couldn’t bring himself to step away, but he couldn’t bring himself to step forward either. All he did was stand still, watching, waiting, lost.
"Shidi," Shen Qingqiu whispered, voice wavering as his desperation grew in Liu Qingge’s silence and inaction.
"I’m sorry—I’m sorry, Shidi, please… "
It sounded like the kind of plea people only make when they're begging for their life.
Liu Qingge's hand moved to caress Shen Qingqiu's cheek. He didn't think about the action at all, his body carrying it out for him. Shen Qingqiu leaned into his touch, and so Liu Qingge let his gaze drift over his expression. He really looked so... sad.
Lonely. That was it. He looked so lonely.
Ever since that disciple of his, Luo Binghe…
"Don't leave?"
Shen Qingqiu had posed it like a question, and even despite himself, Liu Qingge could easily tell he was awaiting an answer.
Raising a brow, Liu Qingge turned back toward Shen Qingqiu, but he still didn't drop his wrist. The two of them stood there in silence for what felt far too long.
Shen Qingqiu's cool demeanor had now fully disappeared, along with any traces of elegance or a scholarly, upright attitude. He looked so terrified. So scared and alone.
He looked like a weak little disciple. Like—
Why is that disciple so important to you, even now?
He didn't know how to help.
Shen Qingqiu didn't have the courage to ask again, and Liu Qingge didn't have the ability to answer, so they simply stood watching each other's expressions, a tense quietness hanging in the air.
Liu Qingge almost wanted to look away, but he just couldn't. His gaze remained fixed on Shen Qingqiu, because he feared losing him if he did anything else.
He wasn't sure what this feeling was, but it must have been the same feeling that caused Shen Qingqiu to grab his wrist. This unbearable burdening pressure—the way it settled in his chest like a physical weight, how it made his hand heavy as he caressed Shen Qingqiu's cheek, brushing against his smooth skin and pushing away the strands of black hair falling over his face.
What was this?
After a small moment of deliberation, Liu Qingge decided it was pain. He hardly got himself hurt in battle, but thinking back to the rare times he had, this feeling was so similar. It hurt, so badly, in the pit of his chest, stinging yet dull at the same time. Liu Qingge couldn’t breathe, and his mind was spinning.
He couldn't stand to see Shen Qingqiu this way. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to protect him and keep him happy.
Liu Qingge had leaned forward without thinking, and Shen Qingqiu had also done the same, closing his eyes and tilting his head up ever so slightly, as if in preparation.
Shock struck Liu Qingge like a palm strike.
What?
He was—
Shen Qingqiu had an herbal taste from the green tea that he had now abandoned on the table. Liu Qingge could smell his hair, and it was nigh overwhelming, the way he wanted nothing more than to breathe in his comforting scent, to bring Shen Qingqiu closer and let that intoxicating aroma burn his lungs—
Oh.
They were kissing.
They were kissing?
Another wave of shock ran through Liu Qingge, alongside the swelling of a scalding warmth in his stomach and a weakness in his knees. Despite the sudden realisation, he didn't stop; didn't want to stop.
Liu Qingge's hand lifted off Shen Qingqiu's face to cradle the back of his head, pulling him in closer, while Shen Qingqiu let go of his wrist in favor of wrapping his arms around his waist, gripping onto his robes far too tight. Uncertain on what he should do with his other arm, Liu Qingge opted to grab awkwardly at Shen Qingqiu’s robes.
He had never done anything like this before; he was unsure where to put his hands, what to do, how to do it—but even despite all these overwhelming thoughts and worries, it just felt so right .
Shen Qingqiu's eyes were still shut as he parted his ever so soft lips, and Liu Qingge instinctively copied both actions, as if practicing a battle stance, leaning even closer, and—
His head reeled as he moved further into the kiss, backing Shen Qingqiu against the nearest wall, pushing his body up into him. Shen Qingqiu let out a muffled gasp as their chests collided, but he didn't complain, nor did he try to stop it. Liu Qingge wasn't sure he would have either, if he was the one being pressed against the wall.
... If he was the one being pressed against the wall—
The whine that followed was much louder than Liu Qingge would have liked to admit.
Shen Qingqiu simply gave a hum.
"Qingqiu, I—"
That was all he could get out before Shen Qingqiu yelped and immediately jerked away, his hand suddenly moving to plant against Liu Qingge’s chest to push him back.
It was far too sudden, and Liu Qingge didn’t understand, his lungs burning and his chest heaving with shallow breaths. He blinked dazedly at Shen Qingqiu with glazed over eyes, his vision blurred.
Did he do something wrong? Was it because he had said his name? But Shen Qingqiu had just done that to him earlier; that didn’t make any sense, surely? He had to check.
"…Qingqiu?"
Shen Qingqiu's hand trembled against his chest. "L-Liu-shidi, we—ah, wait—"
What? Liu-shidi? But he was just saying Qingge—
"We… we shouldn't do this. I'm sorry, I—this Shixiong doesn't know what came over him, please forgive him—"
He must have done something wrong. What could he have done? No, but, then, why—
"What did I do?"
"It's not—you didn't do anything! It's just—"
Shen Qingqiu was clearly struggling, stammering and tripping over his own words. "This isn't... right. This is—this is wrong, I didn't—I don't—"
"But it felt right."
"Ah—I'm sorry—that's my fault! This Shixiong didn't mean to… encourage this! To, ah, take advantage of you!"
Was he mishearing? Taking advantage? But he kissed him back. He pushed him up against the wall; he grabbed onto him, pressed his body against him—what did Shen Qingqiu think had just happened?
"What do you mean take advantage."
Shen Qingqiu's expression twisted into a pained grimace. "It's just—y-you know—you're… straight—? I'm straight! This, ah, this was a mistake—"
He had no idea what Shen Qingqiu was even talking about. Straight? Mistake? But—
"You're the one who told me to stay."
Shen Qingqiu's eyes widened as he finally withdrew his hand, his breaths coming out ragged. "I know, I know, I did, but—!"
"But what."
"This—ah, this Shixiong is not in the right mind!" He had finally snapped, raising his voice. "Shidi, this Shixiong does not want to do something he'll regret, okay?!"
"You already kissed me."
"I know I kissed you! I know I did, and I am—I'm sorry, but this, ah—"
Why? Why would he do this?
This was cruel.
Liu Qingge's mind went blank. He wanted to yell, but for once, he didn't have the energy to. His expression grew cold, his body tense as he turned to leave. He couldn't be here any longer. He was going to break something. Hurt someone. Hurt Shen Qingqiu.
"Liu-shidi, please, wait!"
He ignored him this time, shoving a vase on his way out. The ceramic shattered upon impact.
… It shattered a lot like Liu Qingge's heart just had.
***
His hands ached so badly.
Blood dripped and trickled down his fingers, and yet he didn't stop. Bones cracked and crunched against heavy impact, and yet he didn't stop. His knuckles were a raw canvas of swollen splotches of red and purple, and yet he still didn't stop.
The wounds would heal up, anyway.
Why should he stop?
Liu Qingge wanted to cry, but the tears never came.
Was it a blessing or a curse that he couldn't get himself to cry?
He didn't know, and he didn't care. He didn't have the energy to.
He clenched a fist yet again—despite the audible crunch of a shifting bone and the agony that came with it—gritting his teeth as he swung his fist against the cave wall.
Again, again, again.
He had left debris and cracks in his wake, moving on every time he had caused too much destruction to keep hitting. Splatters of both fresh and dried blood littered the ground alongside pieces of crumbled rocks. The stinging pain in his hands was just as bad as the pain in his chest. He could hardly feel anything else.
It was a numb anger that had overtaken him.
Liu Qingge snarled, blood oozing out of his wounds as he curled his fists tighter than before, digging his fingernails sharply into his own palms. He drew his hand back, his breathing erratic.
And he swung his fist again.
The rage inside him hadn't yet died down. If anything, it had only gotten worse over time. The more he thought about it, the more it hurt. It was easier to not think about it; to think about punching the wall with all his might instead.
But he couldn’t help but let his mind wander, no matter how hard he tried. Shen Qingqiu's warm lips against his own, soft and inviting, their bodies pressed so close together, his soft hair brushing against his fingers—
Liu Qingge bit his tongue hard enough to taste metal, throwing another punch.
Shen Qingqiu's face, looking so vulnerable, his expression so pained as he looked up at Liu Qingge, his eyes were begging, almost pleading—
Another punch.
His voice, so quiet, so desperate—
Another.
Liu Qingge let out a sharp cry of pain as another bone cracked.
His hand was stuck in place, a throbbing pain running through him every time he moved it. He could barely feel his fingers anymore, and yet all this agony had done nothing to quell his burning fury.
"Why…"
It was the very first thing he had said out loud, his voice wavering, breaking the deafening silence.
Even if he had more to say, he couldn't make anything else come out. Liu Qingge clenched his jaw, feeling like he was suffocating, unable to get even a single sound out now.
He leant his entire body weight against the wall, sinking his way down to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest. His skin felt feverishly warm against the cold slate of the cave, and so he kept pressing his forehead against the wall to try to cool down.
The only thing he could hear was his own harsh pants and an insistent ringing in his ears. Shen Qingqiu was haunting him, tormenting him, taking up all his thoughts and tearing him apart.
Why? Why? Why? It repeated in his mind like a mantra.
Liu Qingge sank his teeth into his thumb, biting hard enough until he drew blood, the iron taste overwhelming his senses and choking his lungs. He could feel a bone inside his thumb shift against his teeth, but he didn't care.
It hurt.
But it didn't hurt as much as his heart did, and that was the part that he couldn't stand.
Harder. Bite harder.
He couldn't let his greatest pain be caused by a broken heart.
***
It had been a few months (of pure tension) since they had last seen each other, all the way until they both got shoved into a quest together, unable to refuse.
A tentacled terror was apparently tormenting a nearby fishing village with a horrible sting. A sting that reportedly causes people to spill their deepest, truest feelings. Shen Qingqiu recognised this fast without needing much description—it was the Secret Feelings Stinging Jelly. Airplane could never come up with a good name for anything, but this one was especially on the nose!
This worried Shen Qingqiu. The Secret Feelings Stinging Jelly was supposed to be another one of various wife plots, where Luo Binghe would woo over a fisherman's daughter who had far too much beauty for the fishing village she was born in.
They'd go out on a boat together—the damsel soon to be in distress insists on coming along since it's her father's livelihood being threatened or—whatever! The point was that the beauty would get stung and then confess her true undying love, etcetera, etcetera, papapa on the boat. Bam, another beauty in the infinite harem.
That didn't matter! What did matter was: why was this stupid jellyfish showing up so soon?! Luo Binghe hasn't even made his way out of the Endless Abyss yet, so this is really absurd! What's going to happen to that wife plot? If they kill this monster early, then Luo Binghe won't hook up with the pretty fishing lady!
This dumb System, changing the plot around like a maniac! You know you're getting rid of all of Luo Binghe's girls, and therefore, the entire appeal of a stallion novel, right?!
Still, he had no choice but to accept. Fine! The only issue was Liu Qingge. He made a very grave mistake with him those few months back, and ever since, Liu Qingge has definitely been avoiding him!
When he thinks about it—reasonably so, actually. He may have fucked up big time! Liu Qingge walked away with the face of a broken-hearted maiden, rejected by her one true love! That couldn't be right, because Liu Qingge was very much straight. Or—maybe asexual? Ah, he didn't know! The point was, he knew Liu Qingge wasn't gay, so what was this brotherly fight that they had?!
And why did it include kissing?!
Maybe Shen Qingqiu was the one who blurted out his first name, sure, but he was just trying to test the waters, to see if he really could trust Liu Qingge to protect him in dire straits! That's it!
He really, truly did not intend to kiss him—but he just couldn't help it! He was right there, and their faces were so close! It just kind of happened! He swears! And Liu Qingge was definitely the one who started it!
But none of that mattered anymore! In the past, okay?! Done and over! The important thing was, Shen Qingqiu needed to try to make it up to Liu Qingge, and apologize with his whole heart. He really needs somebody to have his back when Luo Binghe tries to turn him into a human stick, and he couldn’t afford to lose Liu Qingge, of all people, one of the very few guys who could potentially match up against Luo Binghe’s OP protagonist bullshit!
Right! He would just have to cling to Liu Qingge's thighs this entire quest! And also avoid getting stung by the Secret Feelings Stinging Jelly!
Well, if he could even get close enough to suck up to Liu Qingge. See, they had already made their trek to this fishing village, and they had been given a free inn room to settle in. The same inn room, of course, unfortunately! No, of course, they couldn't be given two separate rooms!
They were staying in this room because the Secret Feelings Stinging Jelly only shows up during sunrise, and it was already late afternoon by the time they arrived on their swords. Okay, fine, that makes sense. Here was the plan: Stay at the inn overnight, get up before sunrise, make their way there, fight the jellyfish, done and over.
Now, here's where all the issues began: stay at the inn overnight! It was so awkward that Shen Qingqiu was almost ready to sleep outside instead. Liu Qingge hadn't said a single word to him—he hadn’t even made a single sound—and neither had he even glanced in his direction. It was definitely like he didn't exist at all, and all attempts to interact went ignored. They couldn't even talk over battle strategy or plans.
And, of course, there was only one bed in this room. What kind of shitty trope is this?! He'd have to take the floor if he ever wanted to get in Liu Qingge's good graces again!
But he was trying really hard already! He even purposely abandoned his fan on a table earlier, and yet Liu Qingge didn't seem to give a single shit! He totally walked right by it!
Liu Qingge didn’t talk to him when they left, when they were flying, when they arrived, and not even when they settled into the room. Liu Qingge was sitting on the floor blankly—maybe meditating?—while Shen Qingqiu had awkwardly shuffled himself to rest on the bed, at least for now.
Shen Qingqiu was sure that Liu Qingge would barge out the room and leave any second now, kicking the door in on his way out, and yet he never did.
That was even more terrifying.
Liu Qingge, don’t you know you’re making your Shixiong quake in his fucking boots over here?!
Worst of all, he really wanted to take a bath before bed. But no, no! The bath is right in the room, and there isn't even a divider or anything. He would have to deal with bathing with Liu Qingge right next to him, or he would have to deal with asking him politely to leave! No! Way! In! Hell! It's over, it's so over!
Come on, come on, come on. He cleared his throat for the hundredth time today, yet again speaking up.
"Shidi, you can't ignore Shixiong forever, you know."
Liu Qingge stared straight forward without even glancing in his direction.
"Shidi," he tried again, a little firmer this time.
Nothing.
Seriously?! The silent treatment is practically abuse, Shidi!
Maybe if he…
"Qingge?"
Finally, he got something from Liu Qingge. His eyes widened ever so slightly, and he looked in Shen Qingqiu's direction, as if he thought he had misheard.
Shen Qingqiu was in a similar state of shock, if he was being honest. He didn't even know what his plan was here—all he knew was that he couldn't take the silence any longer, and he thought it would work! And... okay, it did, but now what the fuck does he do?!
He quickly gathered himself together, looking at Liu Qingge with as serious of an expression as he could muster.
"Shixiong knows he made a mistake, but can Shidi try not to hold it against him until we get back home? We need to talk about the battle strategy."
"No."
He spoke so curtly, so suddenly, without an ounce of emotion yet seeming so aggressive at the same time. It took Shen Qingqiu completely off guard—it was the first word he had said to him in months, and that was it?
No? No, what?!
"... Pardon me?"
Liu Qingge snapped his head over to shoot him an icy glare, and Shen Qingqiu felt his breath catch in his throat.
That's the first time he's looked at him, too! First time this, first time that! This was utterly fucking terrifying! He'd rather go back to being ignored, actually! Please don't look at him like that, Shidi! It's really like a Five Nights at Freddy's jumpscare, and it's giving him the mega heebie-jeebies!
"This Shidi does not plan to speak with Shixiong. No."
He sounded so final. That was it, it was done! What the fuck?!
Shen Qingqiu held his hands up in surrender, almost flinching against Liu Qingge's glare. "Well! Ah! Okay, no more speaking, then! This Shixiong agrees!"
He didn't know what he was doing! Liu Qingge was making his heart race and his head spin! It felt like he got bit by a bear trap and was painfully bleeding out in the forest alone! How was he supposed to put up with this? Liu Qingge's very presence was becoming scarier than the idea of being carved into a human stick! He couldn't take it! He really, really couldn't take it!
"Well… ah, wait, before we're really done speaking." He idly twirled a lock of his hair around his finger, frowning. "Shixiong offers Shidi the bed tonight."
"No."
Shen Qingqiu actually flinched this time, barely resisting the urge to leap out the window.
Stop being so scary! He’s gonna have a fucking heart attack!
"Shidi, this Shixiong insists th—"
"No."
Fuck! He couldn't stand to be near Liu Qingge much longer! He was seriously going to die!
"What, because Shixiong is sitting on it? You're being immature, Shidi."
He regretted saying that as soon as the words left his lips.
That was it. Liu Qingge had finally snapped. He stood right back up with a loud stomp, and the floorboards cracked underneath him.
He whirled around and made a beeline straight for the door, kicking it down with a splintering crash that reverberated throughout the entire inn. Shen Qingqiu flinched properly this time as he scrambled backward, further onto the bed, his chest pounding.
And then Liu Qingge stomped out, his thudding footsteps gradually growing further away until it was silent again.
Just like that, Liu Qingge was gone.
What! The! Fuck!
Was he coming back? Should he run after him? How were they going to meet up before sunrise tomorrow? Wait, if he's not coming back, where the hell is he sleeping?!
Shen Qingqiu couldn't stand this. He didn't even want to think about it. He didn't want to consider the fact that he probably made Liu Qingge decide to sleep in the streets! No, a beauty like that should get to be tucked into a warm and cozy bed every single night, okay?!
How was Shen Qingqiu going to cope with the guilt?! He was a terrible, terrible shixiong!
All he could imagine was Liu Qingge sitting on the side of the road, drenched from pouring rain, taking shelter in a cardboard box like a sad little kitten! He could almost hear Liu Qingge's sniffles as he tried to keep himself warm, curled up as he got splashed with dirty water from cars carelessly passing by—
No, no, no! He'd rather not imagine this at all! That picture is way too modern, anyway! Why was he even thinking about this?!
Shidi! He's so sorry! Ah, he should have run after him immediately! It's way too late now! Fuck, fuck, fuck! He ruined his relationship with Liu Qingge all over again! And it's his fault! It's all his fault!
Well, no. He was definitely not the one who kissed him in the first place, but—
Shen Qingqiu buried his face in his hands, letting out a loud groan as he laid back against the bed.
With all the guilt weighing down on him, the bed really felt as hard as a rock. Totally uncomfortable! It was also super-duper small, thinking about it. Damnit, this room was a total ripoff, and yet they got it for free!
… Well, it surely wasn't free anymore, now that Liu Qingge kicked the door down.
Fuck!
There was absolutely no point in trying to sleep! He wouldn’t get any rest at all! Not with this shitty bed, and not with the thought of Liu Qingge sleeping outside plaguing his mind!
Double fuck!
Aaaah, Shidi, you're making Shixiong's life a living hell!
***
By the time he had made it to the docks, Shen Qingqiu wanted to jump into the lake and never ever come back.
It's not even like sleep mattered all too much at this point of cultivation, but he wished he could have at least gotten a bit of rest. He felt terrible! Utterly awful! Nauseous with guilt over making his Shidi storm out!
And he had to pay for the damages in the inn room, which only added to his shitty mood. If only they had some An Ding Peak disciple or whatever, he wouldn't have had to worry about that in the first place! Just shove it on them and flee! Even Shang Qinghua himself would've worked, the sleazy bastard!
But at the very least, he had made it in time. The sun was yet to rise, and Liu Qingge was already there, being talked to by some fisherman. Being a brick wall of a man like always, Shidi? Good for you!
He joined the two with gentle strides, fanning himself as he approached. Liu Qingge didn't spare him a glance, as expected.
The fisherman speaking to him turned to Shen Qingqiu in acknowledgement.
"Here to take down the jellyfish too?"
Shen Qingqiu tried his hardest to keep his composure, but it was really hard while Liu Qingge was ignoring him right over there.
"Yes, that's correct."
"Good luck. You two can row the boat yourself, right?"
Well, he damn well knew that Liu Qingge could! Though he should probably try to offer to do it himself this time. He would have to if he ever wanted to get back on good terms with his shidi.
Shen Qingqiu hummed. "Yes, we'll be fine. Please do not worry."
"All right then."
The fisherman guided them over to the boat they were going to use. It didn't seem all that bad, although it wasn't all that good, either. Shen Qingqiu supposed it would do well enough for their purposes.
The Secret Feelings Stinging Jelly floated just on the surface of the water, but its stinging tentacles moved around with minds of their own. It was pretty clear what ""Great Master"" Airplane was trying to accomplish with it. Personally, Shen Qingqiu thought it was one of the more creative ideas—that is, still uncreative, but it was something.
He always thought it would've been a cool boss fight in a game, kinda like Orochi in Ōkami, you know? Fight all the eight tentacles to get the weak spot, bam! God, so badass…
The most important thing was, they really had to get that thing on land to kill it, because otherwise it'd just regenerate. Of course, that didn't count for Luo Binghe, because he just vaporized it completely with his OP protagonist powers, but…
Shen Qingqiu moved his way onto the boat, carefully settling down in a most graceful manner, feeling it gently rock as he did so. Liu Qingge joined him promptly afterwards, with much less care.
"Shidi, we can only kill this monster by drying it out under the sun. We should cut off the tentacles, pierce it with a sword, and take it out to the shore to let it dry. Should this Shixiong row the boat?"
Liu Qingge remained silent as he grabbed onto the oars, still refusing to look in his Shixiong's direction. Shen Qingqiu worried he didn't even hear the plan or his offer, but he didn't have the heart to repeat it either.
It seemed like Liu Qingge was just going to row the boat like always, and Shen Qingqiu had no way of helping other than sitting there while sweating violently in fear.
Shen Qingqiu decided to focus his nervous gaze on the horizon, watching for when the sun would eventually rise. It was still dark out, and it was hard to see the lake's waters. He could just barely make out the shapes of trees and the outlines of the surrounding mountains.
A few birds flew past overhead, and for a moment or two, he had gotten distracted looking up at them.
Shen Qingqiu almost didn’t see the tentacle when it came his way.
With a sharp yelp— oh shit, this isn’t graceful at all! —he scrambled away to avoid it, narrowly avoiding getting stung yet almost capsizing the boat.
What the fuck! It was only supposed to appear during sunrise! How come it didn’t even have the decency to wait until the sun actually rose?!
Liu Qingge had already bound off the boat, positioning himself firmly on Cheng Luan. Shen Qingqiu decided the best option was to follow him in action, summoning a sword seal and scrambling on top of Xiu Ya.
This was terribly improper behavior on his part! A shitty start to a shitty battle! Liu Qingge was going to out him as a total and complete poser! But at least he had a reason to be acting this frantic—he absolutely could not get stung by that thing!
Liu Qingge already struck down one tentacle with a blunt palm strike, and he was getting closer to the main body—the heart?—as he made quick work of the others. The others, that was—
Shen Qingqiu had to leap out of the way as another tentacle came at him. Why was it targeting him while Liu Qingge was the one actively fighting it?!
He moved Xiu Ya along with him to land properly on the blade with elegance—but in the corner of his eyes he caught the glimpse of Liu Qingge's sharp glare, and his stance wavered in response, his ankle rolled, he felt his body fall backward—
Fuck, he was gonna lose so many B-points for this!
Though he tried to reach out to Xiu Ya to catch onto it before it was too late, or even to summon another sword seal—
He plunged straight into the chilling water with a deafening splash.
The shock and panic that ensued caused him to accidentally inhale a sickening amount of water, thrashing as he tried to force himself back to the surface. He couldn't think—he couldn't see—
Why couldn't he swim back up?
He became far too aware of the stinging, swelling pain around his ankle, like he had just been whipped.
Something was dragging him down.
Ah.
His panicked struggle was far too futile as the grip on his ankle only grew tighter, the tentacle digging into his skin. He could feel his pulse throbbing as he inhaled more water, his lungs filling with liquid and his head spinning from the lack of oxygen.
Was he going to die? Was this really how he was going to die?
Shen Qingqiu had this thought very often, but it never stopped scaring him every single time.
This was the end, wasn't it? Liu Qingge hated him now. He had no reason to come save him at all.
His mind grew fuzzy. It was too late now. Though he tried so hard to conjure anything, nothing came out, like a scream caught in the back of his throat. All he had was the intense pressure in his ears, the water burning in his lungs and throat, his vision fading.
The last thing he felt was something curling around his wrist, and then everything went black.
***
When he opened his eyes again, Shen Qingqiu was on the docks.
Sitting up with a start, he clutched onto his chest, trying to breathe in far too sharply. His throat burned with lingering water that he struggled to cough up. What just happened? How did he get back here? Liu Qingge—had he pulled him out?
He struggled to focus his blurring vision as he glanced around, searching for any sign of Liu Qingge. He couldn't find him. Maybe he just ran away and ditched him. Shen Qingqiu wouldn't blame him if he did, but—
Liu Qingge appeared right behind him, with a handkerchief in his hand, and a track of red, swollen welts on his cheek.
The stupid jellyfish stung him too? The War God of Bai Zhan Peak?!
Shen Qingqiu coughed up watered down blood into his hand.
"Shixiong," Liu Qingge murmured, using the handkerchief to wipe away the blood. "The jellyfish is drying out."
Oh.
His mouth was moving before he even knew what he was saying.
"You shouldn't have jumped in after me, Shidi. This Shixiong was just fine. I know you hate me."
The moment he fully heard his own words, he wanted to slap himself, and had to restrain himself from doing so. What the hell?!
But Liu Qingge responded with a snarl instead, narrowing his eyes and hissing back, "I don't hate you. I love you."
What.
What?!
No! What? What!
Liu Qingge gave him an unamused look, completely blank, his jaw still set in a deep frown. He looked even angrier than before, and that was really saying something!
"You think I hate you?"
That wasn't what he was trying to say! Wait, Shidi, hang on for a second!
"No! It's just—Shidi—I thought you were mad at me! You were giving me the cold shoulder!"
"I am mad at you," he growled, withdrawing the handkerchief. "You played with me."
Shen Qingqiu was going to go into cardiac arrest, he was sure of it.
"I... played with you?" he choked out.
Liu Qingge blinked. "Yes. You kissed me."
Ahhh, Shidi!
Shen Qingqiu finally began to realize this was entirely his fault, but he had no idea why he had done that in the first place! How was he supposed to explain when he didn’t even understand it himself?!
"But I don't… know why I did."
No! No! No! He didn't want to say that out loud! Oh, god! It was over! It was so over!
Liu Qingge stared at him with an expression that was both disbelieving and angry.
"So you just did it."
Shen Qingqiu threw his hands up. "Yes, I just did it! I don't know why! Your face was just so beautiful, and... It just happened! I'm sorry, I don't even know why I did it! Please, just forgive this Shixiong already! He’s been sick with guilt!"
He began coughing up blood and water yet again, the back of his throat burning.
Liu Qingge scoffed, shoving the handkerchief into Shen Qingqiu's hands. "Do you regret it?"
"... Regret it?"
The question took him off guard.
Does he regret it? Maybe? He was just confused. Really, he didn't know! Because he definitely likes girls, alright? But... Liu Qingge was a beauty of his own. He looked enough like a girl that maybe his brain got confused, or something like that! It made sense, being the brother to Liu Mingyan and all!
He just couldn't help himself in the heat of the moment—but then again, he was definitely straight, and—
Shit, what if he wasn't straight???
"I thought I, liked women," he finally breathed out, gasping on the words as they escaped his lips, "but I just, that day, I just—I just, wanted to, kiss you—I wanted—needed—"
He let out a choked wheeze, coughing more blood up into the handkerchief.
Liu Qingge looked taken aback. But it only lasted for a moment as he leaned in, with so much interest in his eyes that it shocked Shen Qingqiu half to death.
"So you liked me at that moment?"
He nodded, despite how he tried to shake his head and protest.
What the fuck?! Why was he nodding?! If he can only tell the truth right now, then—
"I wanted you to kiss me back," he blurted out. "I wanted to be with you, I didn't want to let you go, I wanted you to touch me, I wanted to touch you, I—"
Shen Qingqiu finally cut himself off.
What the hell was wrong with him?! Did he not even know his own honest feelings? This was the most insane form of self-discovery!
Liu Qingge's face went red as his lips slightly parted in shock. It was just for a moment before his gaze fell to the ground, almost embarrassed.
"You ruined my first kiss."
Shen Qingqiu's eyes widened.
... Oh.
Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
He didn’t even consider that. What a horrible, horrible, horrible Shixiong he was! He took his Shidi’s first kiss and then practically kicked him out of the house? And then he avoided him for months afterwards?
Shen Qingqiu was starting to feel really bad.
"I... didn't know I was your first."
Liu Qingge's eyes flickered back upward, and their gazes met yet again. An overwhelming sense of déjà vu overcame Shen Qingqiu.
Maybe… maybe he wasn’t thinking right, but he…
"... Can this Shixiong be your second, too?"
The expression his Shidi made was so genuine, like he couldn't fathom the words he was hearing. It was quite possibly the most emotion he had ever seen on Liu Qingge's face, and it was so, so… endearing.
And then Liu Qingge did something that shocked him even more.
Shen Qingqiu's long black hair was a mess of wet and tangled strands. His drenched robes had gotten covered in grass stains and dirt as they clung to his body. His skin was wet and clammy, and his chest hurt, and he could hardly breathe.
And yet, in this horrible moment, all that mattered was that Liu Qingge had... smiled.
No, not just smiled. It was a bright, beaming grin that was on his face.
Liu Qingge leaned forward and closed the distance between them, moving in to press his lips against his. He went as far as to wrap an arm around him, pulling him closer, and so Shen Qingqiu did the same, ditching the handkerchief in favor of wrapping his arms around Liu Qingge and gripping as tight as he possibly could.
He was cold and wet, and yet his body now felt all too warm. The pain in his chest eased. His mouth tasted of blood, but Liu Qingge didn't seem to mind.
In that moment, nothing else mattered, and the world around them melted away. Shen Qingqiu forgot about the fishermen, the jellyfish, and anything else that should have made him hesitate.
His hand instinctively slipped its way to Liu Qingge's leg, dancing his fingers up his thigh. Liu Qingge let out a sharp whine, gripping at his shoulder, tight enough to leave a bruise.
Shen Qingqiu took the initiative without much thought, pushing Liu Qingge down so that his back was against the ground.
"Shidi," he gasped out, finally pulling back to breathe. He moved a leg over so that he could straddle Liu Qingge, grasping onto his robes tight enough to make his own fingers ache. "Shidi—no, Qingge— "
Liu Qingge shuddered underneath Shen Qingqiu as the name escaped his lips.
It was far too much.
"... Q-Qingge, Qingge," Shen Qingqiu repeated without thought, mindlessly seeking a reaction, wanting to elicit sweet little shivers, wanting to see his Shidi's face get redder and redder—
"Qingge, fuck— "
Liu Qingge moaned in response, burying his face into the crook of Shen Qingqiu's neck. His grip grew firmer, making Shen Qingqiu's shoulder ache. The pain was unbearable, yet far too welcome. He found himself shifting position so that Liu Qingge's leg was between his legs, opting to straddle his thigh and try to roll his hips up into him.
"Y-You—Qingqiu, I, wait, " Liu Qingge panted into Shen Qingqiu's neck, "wait, wait—public—we're in public— "
Publ—
HOLY SHIT.
Shen Qingqiu immediately withdrew with a sharp gasp of surprise, sitting upright.
The sun was rising! He was right! They were making this scene in broad daylight, probably in front of all the fishermen! He scrambled off of Liu Qingge and back onto the grass, humiliation burning across his cheeks as his gaze frantically darted around to find witnesses.
He had expected to see a crowd watching over them with morbid intrigue, but there was no one there.
With confusion, he glanced back over at Liu Qingge, blinking as he watched him struggle and heave to catch his breath.
"They're—" Liu Qingge swallowed thickly, somewhat choking on his words, "I had them watch the jellyfish. It's, hah, further away."
Oh. He felt the strong urge to pull him in for another kiss now that he knew they were alone, but he managed to resist.
… God, he didn’t know what to think of himself. Was he really gay? He had never felt this way before, not in the slightest, but it felt so…
This was so sudden, and far too surprising! What if it was just the stupid jellyfish sting making him think this? Was he in his right mind? If this was his truest, most honest self, he wondered what else he didn’t know. Jesus Christ!
"We... Ahem." Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat, wishing that he still had his fan to cover his face. "I see. We should… go home, Shidi."
Liu Qingge didn't respond, although he pulled himself up off the ground. He paused to steady himself, brushing off his robes, before reaching his hand out towards Shen Qingqiu.
He hesitated for a second before taking it, rising to his feet.
"You'll take us home, Shidi?" He smiled, looking at Liu Qingge with half-lidded eyes.
"Yes," Liu Qingge muttered. He was still panting slightly, and his cheeks were red. "Of course, Shixiong."
Before he even knew it, Liu Qingge had wrapped an arm around his back, and—
"Ah—!"
A surprised yelp escaped him as he was quite literally swept off his feet, being carried bridal-style by Liu Qingge. Shen Qingqiu attempted to cover his yelp up with a cough, but it was blatantly obvious, and completely unhideable.
He wanted to protest; he wasn't some helpless maiden, alright?!
But... as he sat in Liu Qingge’s arms, he kind of… liked it. Kind of... kind of... really liked it, actually.
Liu Qingge summoned a sword seal, quietly stepping onto Cheng Luan.
"Not very inconspicuous, is it?" Shen Qingqiu teased.
"It'll be fast," Liu Qingge responded, without missing a beat.
That wasn't the only thing that was fast! In truth, this entire situation was too fast—way too fast!—but... maybe that was for the better. It was a shitty, overly convenient wife plot that got them here, which felt all too appropriate for the horrible world Great Master Airplane put together. He’d have to take it moment by moment, but he… was happy.
Yeah, alright. He was happy that he got stung by that stupid fucking jellyfish. A great big dose of romantic truth serum wasn't too bad, in the end.
With a hum and a nod, he clung onto Liu Qingge and buried his face into him, closing his eyes. Shen Qingqiu shivered against the cool breeze on his wet robes and skin, feeling the wind whip against him as Cheng Luan began soaring.
He wished he was back in his warm bed, in dry clothes.
... Maybe even with Liu Qingge lying next to him.
(After they paid a visit to Mu Qingfang, of course!)