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“Did you guys see that? I totally just took that one out!” Kamala exclaimed excitedly, turning back to Carol and Monica with bright eyes. If her excitement was evident through her smile, it would be by the way she bounced on her feet, fists balled up and held to her chest.
The other girls smiled, clearly amused as they watched the younger hero act like a 5 year old who’d just gotten their first bike for Christmas.
Carol had never really been one for working with a team, and truly enjoyed her own solo work, but she couldn’t deny she was growing quite fond of the two younger girls.
She loved Monica more than words, that much was obvious to her. So while it may have taken a while to get used to sharing responsibilities in a fight with someone, it didn’t take too long to grow used to her presence.
She reminded Carol so much of Maria it almost made her sick sometimes, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She was happy to have her back in her life, happy to have another chance to make it all up to her daughter, however many years had passed.
It was a bit harder for Carol to get used to working with Kamala, or even just being around her. She was a sweet kid, but Carol wasn’t sure how to be a role model for someone. Most of the time it freaked her out how much the younger girl looked up to her. Every time Kamala turned her way for approval, Carol couldn’t help but to give in a little bit, even if it was a smile or just a slight nod. She was proud of her, truly, but couldn’t help but to feel sick at the idea of someone wanting to be like her.
Every time the teen asked for Carol's advice, no matter how unimportant the matter, Carol wanted to run and hide and tell her to find someone else to ask. Someone else to seek approval from. To break the hero worship that was so clearly going on and tell Kamala that she wasn’t the perfect person she thought she was.
“That was so sick!” Kamala shouted out to them, and just as Carol was sending a nod of agreement her way, something shifted.
When Kamala let out a shriek of pain and instantly fell down to hold her leg, Carol froze. It didn’t feel like it happened in slow motion, in fact, it felt like everything was moving so fast and her mind just couldn’t catch up. She watched in horror as the younger girl collapsed on the floor, taking shaky and fast breathes.
Monica was quick to react, taking out the last alien from the group they had been fighting, but before Carol could allow herself to get angry for missing someone, her body finally reacted.
She fell down on her knees, trying to assess the damage while a sweaty looking Kamala mustered up her best smile, “Did you see that? That was so, so cool!”
Carol didn’t respond as she stared intently at the younger girl's leg that had been shot, resting a hand on her shoulder to try and push her back to the ground. Her other hand went to cover the wound and apply pressure.
“Don’t sit up,” Carol told her, trying to come off as stern but almost had to do a double take when her voice came out strained. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, but pushed them away, blaming it on the anger towards the one who did this to Kamala.
“I’m fine, I promise! It doesn’t even hurt that bad,” Kamala told her, in which Carol just shook her head. Which really, she was fine. It didn’t hurt all that bad. That is, until she looked down and saw the blood pooling out between Carol's fingers.
“Oh my god, I’m gonna die!” Kamala shrieked dramatically. She laid her head back down and was surprised to feel a hand underneath it, but realized it was only Monica making sure she didn’t slam it too hard on the rocks beneath them.
“You’re not gonna die. You’re fine.” Carol assured the teen, but the tears springing to her eyes didn’t do much to reassure either of the girls. To be honest, Carol couldn’t rationalize why she was tearing up. She knew Kamala would be fine. She tried to blame it all on the anger again.
“Mon, do you have something I can wrap this with?” Carol asked cooly, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.
“You might wanna get her to the ship, she’s out.” Monica replied nervously, clearly just as worried about the teen.
“What?” Carol asked quickly, looking up to see Kamala had in fact passed out. From pain, blood loss, or shock Carol wasn’t sure, she just knew she didn’t like it one bit.
“Shit, shit, shit,” the blonde mumbled under her breath, putting an arm under Kamala’s knees and one behind her back. “It’s okay.” she told the unconscious girl, taking off back to the ship, “You’re gonna be alright, kid.”
Carol went into autopilot as she tended to the younger girl's wounds, scrambling around the ship to get what she needed. Monica worked steady by her side, doing great under the pressure and Carol was grateful for it.
Her hands were shaky as she wrapped Kamala’s leg and applied medicine to quicken the healing process. She tried to keep herself in check as she worked through it, her eyes finally drying up and leaving only determination and panic in their wake.
When it was over, Kamala still hadn’t woken up, which was to be expected. Monica excused herself to the washroom to get the blood off her hands, and all the dirt and grime from everything else.
Carol was quick to go and change into something more comfortable before returning, opting to just use the sink in there to scrub her hands.
It filled Carol with a sense of devastation to watch Kamala’s blood mix with the water as she dutifully scrubbed it away. When her vision started to get blurred by tears again, Carol shook her head, letting her mind go blank as she shifted her gaze to the wall.
When she finally sat down on the chair beside the bed Kamala was currently occupying, Carol couldn’t help but to let her mind wander. She felt absolutely awful about the events of the night and couldn’t help but to blame herself for every wrong turn.
She was the one who was supposed to lead them, to make sure they were safe and unharmed, but it felt like she failed. She felt guilty for not realizing all the threats hadn’t been eliminated, felt guilty that Monica was the one to take action while Carol stood frozen, even if it was for such a short amount of time.
When Carol looked over to Kamala, who looked impossibly younger and even more childlike than before while unconscious, she couldn’t help but to let her face crumble. She let her head fall into her hands as her elbows pressed into her knees.
The last thing she wanted to do was cry, she felt like she didn’t deserve the relief it oddly offered, but once the first tear fell, she couldn’t stop them this time.
Seeing Kamala there reminded Carol of when Monica was little, before everything had happened, wiping Carol's mind and making her a shell.
Back when they were a family, and together, Carol took Monica to the park for a day while Maria ran some errands. Monica had always been fearless like her moms, and Carol loved to let her explore freely. It wasn’t a surprise to the blonde when Monica decided she’d rather climb a tree than play in the jungle gym.
Carol was sitting in the grass, looking up through squinted eyes as she encouraged the girl. It was a beautiful evening and both of them were happy beyond belief.
It all happened so fast, and one minute Monica was reaching for another branch, ready to go higher. The next, she was falling to the ground, Carol quickly running up to the sobbing child and scooping her up.
Carol rushed her to the E.R. and sat anxiously by Monica's hospital bed as they waited for Maria. She didn’t have to wait that long, but every second was filled with the worst guilt Carol had ever felt.
She blamed herself, and the moment Maria had arrived she was reserving herself to a corner. She watched with sad eyes and shaking hands as Maria smoothed back the hair out of Monnica’s tiny face, whispering soothing words to her as they waited for the doctor to come back.
When the news was delivered that her wrist was broken, Carol felt like she could die then and there. It felt dramatic to even think that, but the thought of Monica getting hurt because of her was too much to handle.
It was one of the worst things she’s ever felt.
That gnawing guilt.
She thinks she feels that now, and it’s maybe the first time she realizes how much she cares about Kamala. It was more than she’d like to admit, but suddenly that care was overpowering her, causing her to cry harder.
“Carol?” Monica asked slowly, the same time she set her hand on the older girl's shoulder.
Carol shot up, wiping her eyes quickly, “Yeah? Do you need something?”
“Are you okay?” She asks softly, earning a slight nod in response.
When shuffling is heard on the bed beside them, their heads snap to see Kamala was finally waking up.
Her eyes wander around slowly for a moment as Carol and Monica hold their breaths.
“Well, that was crazy,” Kamala groaned, about to sit up, but Carol was quick to push her back down.
“Don’t move,” she warned softly, her eyes searching the wound to make sure everything was okay.
“Were you crying?” Kamala asks quickly, her wide eyes scanning Carol's face while the blonde shook her head quickly.
“No, of course not.” Carol scoffed, moving her hand away from Kamala's shoulder and sitting back down. She felt herself take a deep breath while, unbeknownst to her, Monica and Kamala shared a knowing look.
They sat in silence for a moment before Kamala spoke up again, “I’m sorry I got shot.”
“What?” Carol asked, a laugh almost escaping her lips because of course Kamala would apologize for something like that. “You don’t have to be sorry. In fact,” Carol sighed as she looked over to the girl, “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
She watched a look of realization flash on Kamala's face, followed by a knowing smile that practically screamed Captain Marvel cares about me!
“Not your fault either, no biggie actually. I’m completely fine.” The younger girl slightly rambled, trying to play it off cool as she went to sit up.
“Kamala, don’t!” Carol warned quickly, hand flying back to the teens shoulder.
She shrugged in response, “I’m fine, see? No need to worry about me.”
Carol couldn’t say what set her off again, but suddenly she was crying and turning away from both of the girls.
She wanted to scream, nothing about this is fine! Because how could it be? Kamala, a child, got hurt because of her. How could any of it be fine?
“Carol?” Monica asked softly, watching as the older woman moved to stand across the room. As if distance could mask the emotions rolling off her in waves.
“I’m fine,” she insisted with a shake of her head, “Just stay there, Kamala. Okay?”
“Yeah,” Kamala nodded, her voice more unsure than Carol had ever heard it. “I promise I’m fine though. You don’t have to be upset or worry about me or anything.”
“Yeah, she’s fine.” Monica agreed, worry radiating off both of their voices as they watched Carol straighten herself out.
Carol nodded in agreement, taking a second before finally looking up at the two girls. That proved to be a mistake as the moment she saw the worry on their face, she was crying again.
“Carol, I really am fine, look!” Kamala tried to reassure by standing up, only to hiss as soon as she shifted her leg.
“Jesus, dude just sit down,” Monica sighed, pushing Kamala back lightly.
“She’s upset! Maybe she wants a hug.” Kamala argued before turning her attention to the blonde, “Do you want a hug Carol?”
“No, I don’t want a hug, stop. I’m the leader here and I am fine.” Carol told her quickly, tensing up.
“It’s okay not to be okay! Mental health is very important,” Kamala told her quickly, offering an overly enthused smile.
“just -” Carol shook her head, hating the way she was feeling, but even more so hating that she was letting Kamala and Monica see it. “Just don’t get shot again.”
“Aye, aye captain,” Kamala nodded with a cheeky grin, once again moving to stand up. This time, Carol walked across the room, shocking everyone, including herself when she really did pull the younger girl into a hug.
“Just stop, okay?” Carol sighed, her voice softer than Kamala had ever heard it.
“Yeah,” Kamala agreed, her jokester tone dissipating and matching the softness, “I’m sorry.”
Carol begins to cry again, and Kamala is quick to try and solve it, falling into her natural habit of rambling, “Wait not sorry! Sorry I apologized! And I just did it again, and oh god, I'm just making all this worse, aren't I?”
Carol couldn’t help but to laugh through the tears, “Just stop talking, kid.”
This time Kamala only nodded in response.
When Carol felt a comforting hand on her shoulder, she was quick to reach an arm out behind her and pull Monica into the hug.
“I just want you guys to stay safe, okay?” Carol told them both, each girl wrapped under one of her arms as she pulled them close to her.
It’s truly all she wants at that moment, for Kamala and Monica to stay safe.
For her to feel like she’s not failing everyone around her.
She hasn’t let her care so much in so long and the emotions were catching up to her. She once again thinks back to when Monica broke her wrist. Thinks about the way she broke down and blamed herself until Maria talked her out of the downward spiral.
Carol knew she needed someone in that moment. Knows she needs someone in this one too. Needs Monica and Kamala. Safe and happy and close to her.
She knows Monica has always been her family, but now she thinks maybe Kamala is too. She cant help but to allow that familiar feeling of love and protectiveness swell in her chest as she holds them both close to her.
“It’s nice to know even superheroes cry,” Kamala whispers, a slight smile to her voice as Carol lets out a breathy laugh.
Monica laughs too, reaching over to playfully swat Kamala’s head, “She told you to stop talking.”
They all three break away from the hug, and while Carol can still taste the salt on her lips and the ache in her chest, it doesn’t feel so heavy anymore, so distant.
Listening to Kamala and Monica bicker elicits a grin out of Carol as she pulls away from the pair.
Carol can’t help but to let the grin stretch into an award winning smile as she turns away from them, moving to grab Kamala some water.
It feels nice to be a part of a team again , she thinks, her mind echoing, this team.
Nice to care about people again, and she turns and looks back.
These people.
This family.