Chapter Text
Toni was now at pop's for her second coffee of the day, she just walked in and the first question Tabitha shoots at her is 'Hey, Toni, have you talked to Cheryl, is she alright?', Toni is glad she was asked a question about Cheryl.
She thinks that that actually says a lot about their connection and how others sees it. 'Yeah, actually, I did. She is fine, just lost all of her powers. But as soon as she gets a little more rest, she will be just like before.', Toni says.
Tabitha nods her head and starts to prepare Toni her usual. Toni is going through her texts right now since she hasn't gotten a chance all morning. There is a lot of groupchat texts mostly from Kevin and Veronica, but nothing else, nothing from Fangs.
She knows she'll have to talk to him, but for now she'll try to not cross any paths with him, at least until tonight.
Her thoughts are ruined by the sound of bell from the door opening of pop's. And it is Fangs. Toni just keeps looking through her phone, but her head full of thoughts.
What if Fangs starts to play happy family in public, even though their relationship is nearly dead. In that moment she force her head up to see if he is anywhere near her and their eyes lock.
Toni quickly moved her eyes from his to her own coffee that was just braught up in front of her. But it was too late because he's already on his feet coming in Toni's direction.
'Toni', he speaks probably a little louder then he intended and Toni doesn't say a word. She brings her cup of coffee to her mouth to take a sip and just look at him. She brings one of her eyebrows up in questioning manner.
'You were at Cheryl's, right? You were at Cheryl's this morning?' , he said obviously annoyed by Toni's choice of place to go in the morning. Toni wants to annoy him even more, because when he says Cheryl's name, he says it with so much venom.
'You seem surprised.' Toni says calmly. Fangs is furious by now and Toni is not seeing him like this for the first time. She probably should be afraid, but she isn't. He comes closer to her ear, 'I'll see you at home, Toni' and he says it through gritted teeth.
Toni isn't treathened by him at all. Because she knows he's all barks no bite kind of guy. But this kind of behavior coming from him really irritates Toni at some point.
But she let him be, then after a few moments, Tabitha is next to her, 'What the hell was that?', Toni doesn't even know how to explain.
Everyone thinks they are this stable couple who just got merried and they are gonna live together for the rest of their life. But no Fangs is always making a scene. He is always angry and jelaous and Toni can't stand his behavior anymore.
It's always about how Toni doesn't care or how Toni hurts him. But Toni knows she has been pushing her feelings for Cheryl just to make her marriage work, and it hurts Toni to say it out loud, but it is what it is.
She knows Fangs can't hurt her in feeling way, simply because she doesn't feel anything for him. But he also can't say those things to Toni because she gave up on a lot of thing for him. He doesn't have a valid reason on his side of a story and he is still complaining, so Toni lets him be.
'That was normal, Tabitha, one very normal conversation between the two of us.' she says frustrated and Tabitha sees that, almost immediatly putting her hand on Toni's shoulder, to give her the sign that she is on her side here.
Toni knows that already and she gives Tabitha a soft little smile. 'Everything will be fine Toni, but have you maybe considered what is gonna come next in your relationship?', Tabitha asked.
Toni knows her feelings, she knows who has her heart and she wants to talk to Fangs, but he makes it immposible. He is always angry putting everything that he has a problem with on Toni.
'There is no relationship there anymore. There is just hard feelings from his side not mine. I want to talk to him, I need to talk to him, but everytime I try, he gets angry and it's always my fault.', Tabitha doesn't know a lot about these kind of situations.
So she really can't say anything to make this better, but she tries, 'You should talk to him Toni.... and her.', Toni knows what Tabitha means and she will.
Fangs will never be ready to hear what Toni wants to say about their marriage, about how she wants to end it, so she decides to do it as soon as possible.
As for Cheryl, Toni isn't sure she is ready herself for that, but she waited for too long and she knows that. She doesn't know how Cheryl feels nor how will she react, but Toni can't hold these feelings within her anymore and she knows it's only right when it's done.
'I will, I have to', and Toni really means it. A few minutes after it was time for Toni to go off to her work, but she kept Tabitha's words in mind almost all day.
.......
After work she decided she'll go home to change and try to talk to Fangs if he is even there. And then go to Cheryl's.
She was now walking into her apartment and Anthony greeted her at the door, 'Hey mom', he said cupping her cheek. 'Dad braught us dinner.', he had a smile on his face and Toni can tell he is really happy for some reason, but she doesn't want to question it yet.
Fangs is looking at them from the couch, waiting for Toni to come and greet him like wives usally do, but Toni doesn't. When Anthony is out, she just goes straight to her room to get changed. She doesn't speak a word to the man on the couch.
'Is that, how it's gonna be from now on?', she can hear Fangs asks from the living room and she knows it probably is time for their conversation.
She walks into the room where Fangs is and starts, 'Fangs, I need you to listen to me. Because I always try and you never listen, just get angry, so please, I'm asking you as a friend to just listen and when I'm done you can say anything you think out loud, please.'
Fangs gives her a nod, but he has a feeling this is not gonna be good. 'Thank you.', Toni says softly coming to the couch to sit beside him.
'Fangs, I think that I personally got married for the wrong reasons. It's not that I don't love you, because I do, but not in a way wife should love her husband and I am really sorry about that, Fangs I really am, but I can't go against my feelings anymore.', Fangs is looking at her, he is confused a little but not angry at least for now and not shocked.
'Okay, thank you for being honest, but why the hell have you married me or better yet said, proposed, if you don't love me, Toni?', he is still calm, but Toni can see he's hurt.
Toni doesn't know if she should answer this question honestly, but she is hear for an honest conversation so she does, 'Because of Anthony. We were losing a case Fangs and if we were to get married at the moment, we would have had better chance at winning the case.'
Toni says that and her eyes moves to her hand sitting on her lap. She expects the worst possible reaction from Fangs, but when she looks at him, he is in complete shock. He looks at her then and just says 'The divorce it is.', and leave.
Toni wants to cry, she wants to feel something, but she doesn't feel anything, she is numb to feeling towards him. She just gets up and get out of the apartment, she remembers she told Cheryl, she'll be back and to be honest, Toni really needs Cheryl's comapny at the moment.
She is in front of Tornhill for the second time this day and she knocks on door but she doesn't hear anyone coming her way. She does it again, but this time she hears footsteps.
Cheryl opens the door this time and smiles at Toni, 'Toni, hey, I taught you are not going to come since it's pretty late.', she said, soft voice and Toni can swear she sees a little reliefe in Cheryl's eyes.
'Come in.', Cheryl says stepping away of the door so that Toni can walk in. They walk together in living room, but there is one more guest there.
'Heather, hey.', Toni says not expecting anyone other then her here. Heather seems like she wants to leave as soon as she sees Toni, but she decides to stay a bit more.
'Hey, Toni.', it seems to Toni that maybe Cheryl and Heather were talking about something of great matter so she asks, 'I'm sorry, did I interupt something important?'
'No, Toni, you haven't, you are always welcomed here.', Cheryl says bringing Toni a cup of tea. The air is a little awkward but Toni tries to brush it off, 'So did you to speak about some witchy things.'
Toni can se that Cheryl and Heather look at each other at her statement, it makes her a little uncomfortable until Heather starts speaking, 'Toni, I think there is something that-', but she is quickly cut off by Cheryl, 'Well, yes Toni we were, but as you know I don't have my powers anymore and my friend Heather here, wanted to know if she can use some of my books, since I don't need them anymore.'
Cheryl seems a little tense, but Toni just blames it on the awkwardness of this whole situation. 'Oh, and Toni, are you going to the party Veronica is hosting at the Babylonium, saturday?', Cheryl asks and Toni has no idea what she is talking about.
She takes her phone and see that she has close to a milion messages from the groupchat, lika always Kevin and Veronica texting the most. 'Probably, yes, I don't see why not.' , that statement earns a smile from Cheryl.
'Well, I think that I should probably go, it's pretty late and I want to be home at least before midnight. ', Heather says standing up. Cheryl stood up at the same time and started to walk Heather towards the door.
When Cheryl came back, Toni is deep in her head. She doesn't know how to start a conversation she's been wanting to have with Cheryl for quite some time now.
Cheryl sits beside her at the couch, but still leaving a good amount of space between them. 'Cheryl', Toni starts, but still doesn't know how to say anything and maybe it's for the best if she holds some things for herself for now.
A few moments pass and Cheryl asks, 'Yes, Toni?', that's probably Toni's sign to continue, 'When the comet was near, or better said, the end of the world, only I could think about were things I would do differently, things I regret.', Cheryl sees from Toni's struggling that this coversation is gonna be serious.
'And almost every possible thought that came to my mind doing that kind of thinking was connected to you....to us', Toni is saying everything with so much emotion and truth in her voice that Cheryl's breath at the last statement got stuck in her troath.
'I did some things, I am not proud of.... and I want to apologize to you for them.' Toni quickly continues, 'But there are also things that I wanted to say and when the comet was near all I could think about is how I never got the chance to say them, or even if I got I was too scared.', Toni is slowly panicking.
This isn't easy for her, hell this isn't easy for neither of them, but Cheryl is calmly listening too overwhelmed by her own feelings to say something at the moment.
'I know, that maybe it isn't a right time for this, I mean Heather just left you and I can just imagine your pain-', at that Cheryl has to step in, 'It isn't like that Toni, believe me.'
'How, she is your first love and-', Toni doesn't understand, or maybe she does, but doesn't want to believe it, 'She is not my first love Toni, we both know that place belongs to someone else.', Cheryl says calmly not bringing her eyes to look at Toni.
'Well, Cheryl, I am getting a divorce, because I've been pushing my feelings for far too long and I can't do this anymore.', this confuses Cheryl. She taught that Fangs and Toni are this happy couple, they have a son for god's sake.
'But I guess all I wanted to do is apologize-' , Toni is once again cut off by Cheryl, 'There is nothing to apologize for Toni.', Toni can hear from Cheryl's voice that she is fighting her tears, 'But there is.'
'For hurting you, asking from you to officiate my wedding, and I simply am so sorry.', Cheryl can't stop her tears anymore and neither can Toni, but she needed to say this.
She needs to say a lot more things, but she doesn't think she is ready yet, but this is the first step. Cheryl on the other hand is also considering if she should tell Toni about what Heather has told her, but she doesn't.
'Toni it's fine, really, I just want you to be happy.', that words break Toni's heart, because she knows, she can't be happy without Cheryl by her side. She can't be happy with anyone else.
'That is the thing Cheryl, I don't think I can be. Not without you.', at this Cheryl doesn't know how to react. She wants to kiss Toni to do everything to make woman before her happy, but she is too scared.
Too scared of getting hurt again, too scared of Toni choosing someone else over her again. She just stares at her and after a few seconds Toni speaks.
'Oh my god, I'm sorry, I..... I need to go Cheryl. I'm sorry.', she gets up and Cheryl wants to run after her to stop her from leaving.
'Toni wait', but Toni doesn't stop she just keeps walking until she reaches the door. Cheryl goes outside following Toni, but she is already on her bike.
'Good night Cheryl, I uhm.... I'll see you saturday.', Toni says, tears coming down her cheeks, she panicked, she haven't even said everything that's on her mind but she still panicked.
She didn't even got to see Cheryl's reaction, but she has a feeling it's not gonna be what she thought it would.
On the other hand, Cheryl is stunned. She knows her feeling for Toni are just getting stronger and deeper by the day. And what Heather has told her the night of the comet, that just keeps playing in her mind.
She knows what's on Toni's mind now, at least some part of it and she maybe thinks it's her turn to confess some things, but doesn't know when or where.
And she is too scared, always when she wants to do something like this, the only thing playin on her mind is how she got rejected by Toni at the night of the key party. She doesn't know if her heart can handle that again.