Chapter Text
Mary Sue goes to Greenwood SA 1901
And appears in Oropher’s audience chamber. Mary Sue looks around wildly, before fastening her gaze on the elven king. “You’re not Thranduil!” she says.
“No, indeed I’m not,” says Oropher. “Who are you, where did you appear from, and what are your intentions towards my son?” He frowns at her, then turns to the guards. “Search her for a Ring of Power. I’ll not have one of Sauron’s lackeys loose in my kingdom.”
A female guard was summoned, and Mary Sue was duly searched, much to her embarrassment. No rings, hidden weapons, or other contraband were found.
Much questioning later, Oropher had a headache and no convincing explanation of how the strange mortal had gotten here. Unless a maia was playing a prank or something... sometimes things happened in Middle-earth that just couldn’t be explained by normal means.
Since this ‘Mary Sue’ did not seem to have learned any state secrets, he couldn’t think of a use for her, and she seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with his eldest son, he had the guards drop her off at the nearest mortal settlement, and then forgot about her.
Mary Sue learned the local language, and took up making nets for the fisherfolk of the Anduin village where she’d landed. It was a bit boring, but it did keep a roof over her head and food on the table. She’d even found a boyfriend. He was a fisherman, and had a wonderful singing voice. They sang duets and laughed a lot. But then the orcs attacked, and she died.
The Suethor glared at the computer, and pouted. Why did Mary Sue have to arrive in Mirkwood before Legolas was born? And then get kicked out of the realm without even meeting Thranduil despite Mary Sue landing in the main audience chamber. Seriously, was her computer laughing at her?
Mary Sue goes to Dimbar 4th Age
And drowns.
Mary Sue goes to the Forest of Brethil 1st Age 541
And finds herself in a dark forest of twisted trees, seared by fire. It smelled evil. As Mary Sue walked, she found the ruins of a mortal village. There was no one there. She was starting to get really hungry, but she couldn’t find anything in the ruins to eat. It looked like it had been abandoned for a while. Behind her, she heard a growl, and turned. There was a warg standing in the doorway. Mary Sue’s troubles ended shortly thereafter. And Namo Mandos had a new mortal fea to worry about.
Mary Sue lands in the nin-ein-eilph
And gets sucked into a bog and is never seen again.
The Suethor frowned. Where and what was the nin-ein-eilph? Apart from a bog. Somewhere in Eriador, maybe? Never mind. It wasn’t as if it really mattered where the stupid bog was.
Mary Sue lands on the shores of the Ice Bay of Forochel Mid third Age
Where she is found by a lossoth hunting party before she can freeze.
She learned to icefish, build homes out of ice, and to sew with a bone needle. She also taught the lossoth classic figure skating. Skating was already an important part of the Lossoth’s lives, and the flamboyant new style caught on in a big way among the young. Four years later, King Arvedui of Arnor arrived. She befriended the disconsolate monarch in-exile, and joined him on Cirdan’s ship heading south. The ship sank, and they all drowned.
And Arvedui was... the Suethor struggled to remember. King of Arnor, so one of Aragorn’s ancestors, maybe? Probably. Never mind, it wasn’t as if the story had gone anywhere much.
Mary Sue lands in the Sea of Rhun
And drowns.
Mary Sue lands in the Belegaer SA 3319
Bobbing up and down, she sees an enormous fleet of huge ships with three or even four masts, black sails and the flag of Numenor. It stretches as far as she can see. Mary Sue cries for help and waves frantically. Someone looks down from the nearest ship and sees her, and then turns away. Mary Sue drowns.
“What the?” sputtered the Suethor. These people sounded like total jerks. She frowned, wondering why this situation seemed familiar. Numenor, giant fleet, heading west, behaving like to total jerks... was that Ar Pharazon’s armada? Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that Mary Sue didn’t get rescued by them. And what was it with her Sues drowning? Argh!!!