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The first birthday that Tim remembers is his sixth birthday. And he thinks the only reason he remembers it is because it was his first birthday party. His mom despite his dad’s protests (he’s a boy he shouldn’t be having a sissy birthday party) ordered a bounce house and a clown. She made sure to decorate the house with balloons and all his favorite stuff. He didn’t have many friends because kids thought he was different but he did have a neighbor who was his age and he eagerly came over.
His mom got him presents a football and a baseball bat and baseballs. Even Genny gave him a homemade card in her four year old writing. He has cupcakes waiting for him on the snack table, and eats one and then brings one to Genny and his mom. Tim wasn’t sure what a birthday pretty was suppose to consist of but he thought this one was pretty great.
That is until that night, when his dad turned on him and hit him with a beer bottle for throwing his new football in the house. His mom had for once scolded his dad. “It’s his birthday Tom leave him alone.”
Tim shut out the last part of that day from his mind, he would rather think of jumping in the jump house with Genny and the neighbor boy. Or discovering his love of football and baseball because of presents his mom gave him. He knows days like that are probably rare. So when he goes to sleep at night he dreams of good days and birthday parties filled with jump houses and fun.
***
The second birthday he remembers is not great. He turned nine and his mom decided to take him to the mall so he can pick out some new shirts. He was growing and most of his clothes didn’t fit him anymore. But just as they were about to leave the house, his dad stopped them in their tracks. His mom explained they were just going to the mall to get Tim some new shirts and they would be right back.
But Tom Bradford wasn’t having it that day, he told his wife to get back in the house and he would take Tim shopping. Tim knew his mom didn’t want Tom driving on the road especially with Tim in the car but they both knew what would happened if she argued so she backed down. Tim reluctantly got into the car with his dad. Except they didn’t go to the mall. They went to an open field and in the LA heat Tom made Tim run around the open field. He didn’t leave he just watched as Tim struggled to go around.
“This is what birthdays are all about son.” His dad had said. Tim had forgotten it was even his birthday.
He begged for water but his father refused. “No water until you can prove to me you aren’t a sissy anymore.”
Tim hated his birthday after that.
***
The next birthday is better and while Tim still wasn’t sold on the whole birthday thing yet. But when he turned twelve his mom gave him another football. One he carried around with him everywhere. It was his lifeline in a way, and he would never let his dad see it or get to it because he refused to let his dad ruin yet another birthday memory.
***
When he turned 16, he got his drivers license. That was his birthday present to himself. When things got hard he could just go and drive off. He didn’t have to rely on anyone. The road was his freedom and he was never taking it for granted. It’s not like his dad didn’t try to ruin this for him too. He did but Tim took it in stride, he was used to it by now.
The abuse. The ramming his head into the wall. He knew his father was an alcoholic. He knew he would rather drink than care for his son and his family. So when things got bad, Tim left and drove. He didn’t have a specific destination or plan. He just drove. And then he came back home just to do it all over again.
***
The next birthday he remembers vividly is when turned 18. He had just graduated high school the month before and he was an adult. He had some jobs here and there but his main concern was Genny. He didn’t want his father to hurt her now that he was about to leave. He didn’t want Genny going through the pain he went through. The physical pain and emotional pain, of being abused by someone who is supposed to love you.
His 18th birthday came, and it was a Tuesday. Genny woke him up and dropped something on his stomach and he grunted and glared at her. She ignored him as always.
“Happy birthday Tim.” She said and sat up as a book almost fell to the floor. He caught it before it did and read the title.. How to be an adult for Dummies
“Thanks Gen.” he said drily and she smiled at him. He opened his mouth to speak but Genny cut him off.
“You are an adult now Tim. Leave this god forsaken house.”
“Genny I’m not leaving you with him.” Tim said but Genny just smiled sadly at him.
“I’ll be fine. You deserve a life beyond this Tim.” She said shrugging her shoulders. He gave her a look, his best big brother look but Genny wouldn’t back down.
“I’ll be fine Tim. I promise. I’m a tough girl. I can handle dad.” And thing was, she was right she was tough. Tougher than he would ever be.
But he didn’t leave, every time he thought about leaving his little sister behind he got sick to his stomach.
So he stayed for a little bit longer.
***
He left on his nineteenth birthday, he joined the army and left. He packed all his belongings in a duffel bag and never looked back. He said bye to Genny, who despite being the one to encourage him to leave was trying not to cry.
“Call me if you need anything Gen.” he told her seriously. “I don’t care if I’m a thousand miles away you call me.”
She nodded and squeezed his arm. “Happy birthday Tim.”
***
Tim’s birthdays after that we’re not really memorable. He spent several in the military and while overseas. Genny sent him a birthday card on his twenty- first birthday.
It simply read: “Happy 21st birthday Tim. Love Genny.”
He tucked it under his pillow and it brought him comfort on the few nights he actually could sleep. He knew Genny was fine at home, it had been two years and she was probably out of the house as well. Hopefully.
***
His buddies celebrated his 22 birthday by pouring a whole bucket of ice cold water on his head. It was relief in the hot desert they were currently in. And it was nice to have a birthday where he didn’t have to worry about his dad ruining everything. It was nice, peaceful. It was a birthday for once he wanted to remember.
***
The first few birthdays he spends with Isabel are nice, she cooks him breakfast and then they spend the day around the house. That was the best birthday that he had with Isabel. His other ones he was either working or she was working. And then the drugs took over and well it all went downhill from there. Tim really didn’t expect much of his birthday’s anyway. He barely told anyone at when his birthday was. Isabel was just another person who let him down on the birthday front.
He learned from when he was younger not to expect much. Age was just a number after all.
***
Angela finds out his birthday and of course throws him a big party. It’s nice that someone took time out of their day to celebrate him even if she kept teasing him about his age. It was the birthday after his divorce was finalized.
Later when everything had calmed down, Tim thanked Angela for the party and she just hugged him and told him he deserved it. He doesn’t really believe that but he’s grateful anyway.
***
He doesn’t celebrate his birthday with Rachel, they aren’t together long enough to get to his birthday and honestly Tim really doesn’t care, he doesn’t need a big hoorah anyway. Angela buys him coffee that year and then as always teases him at how old he’s getting. It’s a good day.
Later Lucy calls him and that’s weird in itself but he answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” She asked in lieu of a greeting. Tim sighed loudly.
“Because that’s none of your business.” He said gruffly and he could practically see Lucy rolling her eyes.
“So I can’t know when my T.O’s birthday is?”
“No.” He answered firmly.
“Well guess what? I do now!” She said excitedly and Tim groaned loudly. Great
But the truth was it was nice to have someone care, to have someone actually give a shit about you.
And maybe Tim’s birthdays would actually be good from now on.
***
The next birthday worth remembering (or not if you are Tim) is the one he spends with Ashley. And really she meant well, but it was clear how much she didn’t know him. She threw him this huge fancy party and all Tim wanted to do was go to the bar with Angela and maybe Lucy. Definitely Lucy. But no. Here he was dressed to the nines and extremely uncomfortable as he was surrounded by all Ashley’s friends and none of his.
And there was no beer just wine, the food was all things he couldn’t even pronounce or swallow. It was just too much but Ashley looked so proud so he put on a big fake smile and went along with it.
Lucy texted him later
Lucy Chen
How was the big party?
Tim Bradford:
Painful. I would have much rather been at the bar and making you pay for my drinks.
Lucy Chen:
Next time. Happy birthday Tim.
Tim Bradford: Thanks Lucy.
***
Tim’s best birthday is the first one after he and Lucy start dating. He wakes up and Lucy is tucked into his side like she is most mornings. He kisses the top of her head and she stirs a bit and then she rolls over to face him a big grin on her face.
“Good morning.” She says quietly. “Happy birthday baby.” And she leans forward to kiss him on the lips and he wonders how the heck he lived with out her for so long.
“Thank you Luce.” He says and she smiles and then pushes back and swings her legs out of the bed.
He makes a noise of protest wanting her back immediately but she shakes her head.
“I’ll be right back babe.” She says and hurries out the bedroom door. Tim groans already missing her warmth.
She’s back about twenty minutes later with a plate and glass of orange justice balanced in her hands.
“Breakfast in bed.” She declares and he scoots himself up and stares at her in wonder. How the fuck did he get so lucky?
She climbs back into bed and curls up next to him, taking a bite of his pancakes. He shakes his head at her.
“I thought this was my birthday breakfast.” He says teasingly and she grins at him.
“What yours is mine baby.” She says confidently and she takes another bite. He looks at her again and realizes she’s right. They share everything and she already has his heart.
“Hmmm.” He mumbles and puts the plate on the bedside table and crawls over to her and kiss her. Her lips tasting like syrup and goodness.
“What else do you have planned for me today?” He asks and now he is hovering over her. But she pushes him away.
“That’s for later Tim. Right now I need you to go get dressed. We are going hiking.”
He gives her a look. “Hiking? Where?”
She shrugs. “I looked up a couple of places. But I’ve never done the Hollywood Sign hike.”
Tim nods. “That sounds fun Luce. Have you been planning this for awhile?” He asks.
She nods and then blushes a little. “I made sure we both had off and I know your birthday in the past probably weren’t great but I just wanted to make this one special.”
Tim leans down to kiss her and she giggles as he buries his face into her neck whispering three words over and over again.
I love you I love you I love you.
They get dressed and out the door pretty quickly and Tim drives with one hand as his other one is looped with Lucy’s. Once there, Tim parks the truck and grabs their hiking backpacks out of the back. Lucy trails behind him for a little before catching up to him to grab his hand again. They are quiet walking up and just taking in everything.
They reach the sign and Lucy takes a quick picture before she’s back at his side.
“Are you okay?” He asks and she shrugs.
“I just want to know how loved and appreciated you are Tim. Because you are. I don’t know how your birthdays were in the past but I know I never want you to feel like you can’t celebrate it because it’s tainted by a bad memory. I want only good memories for you now.”
Tim pulls her towards him, a soft smile on his face. “Lucy, I don’t need some special day for my birthday. I know I have you. And everything you do for me is special and amazing. We are making our own memories every single day. And any day spent with you is perfect.”
Lucy stands on her toes to kiss him. “I know Tim. But it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be celebrated. You are pretty amazing.”
She has said those words before but just hearing them again reminds him how lucky he is to be loved by her.
“I love you everyday of the year.” She says. “But today was the day that you were born and I don’t know how I got so lucky to know you but I am so glad I did.”
He just hoists her up so she can wrap her legs around his waist. And kisses her hard, all of Los Angeles below them.
***
Tim has had many birthdays good and bad. Some he doesn’t even remember, there are memories attached to a lot of them. Some he wants to remember some he doesn’t. But he realizes as he lays in bed with Lucy, a birthday is just a day. Every single day that he spends with Lucy he counts his lucky stars.
And as it turns out birthdays really aren’t that bad after all. Not if you get to spend them with the person you are absolutely head over heels in love with.
He turns over so he’s facing Lucy and finds her blinking up at him with wide eyes.
“Did you have a good birthday?” She asks quietly. He nods and moves closer tangling his legs with hers.
“It was the best birthday I have ever had.” He says sincerely kissing her nose gently. “Thank you.”
She smiles softly and then gives him a smirk. “Well I’m about to make it even better.”
He groans and swallows hard as she makes her way down the bed, and pulls down his boxers.
And yep this is definitely the best birthday he’s ever had.