Chapter Text
I woke up alone, made coffee just for me, made breakfast just for me.
The only update I received was a text from Olivia, telling me they were in for another day, but it was hopeful they would send the jury out by lunch today.
I got fresh, non-precinct coffee for Amanda and I. She thanked me when I handed her the cup.
Lunch came and went and I got no word.
Right around the time they were meant to be reconvening in the courtroom, Barba and the rest of the squad was walking into the station.
"They're out, looking good." Barba's eyes were wild, he could sense they were going to win, or at least put him away for one of the handful of charges.
I heard my name in the background of the precinct, looking up from the rest of the squad, I searched for who would say my name.
I was met with RJ's smile from the front desk, he had his badge out.
"Special Agent (Y/L/N)." I loved using his full title, it was so cool. I was on my feet, making my way over to him with a grin spread across my face.
"Senior Detective (Y/L/N)." His hand stuck out for me to shake, and I clapped our hands together.
"RJ, welcome to SVU!" I introduced him to the squad, starting with Lieu and finishing with the unofficial member, Barba. He shook hands, smiles all around, very diplomatic. Avoiding the topic of the trial was harder than I thought especially now that he was here, but I kept it together.
Olivia's phone buzzed, and she stepped away to take the call.
RJ and I both snapped our heads up when we heard our last name, I felt a chill whip down my spine.
Rollins and Carisi kicked into high gear at our reactions, but Fin was already on the move. From the other side of my desk, Barba moved to put himself between me and my father.
"Captain." He greeted him, extending a hand. "Sergeant Tutuola." They shook hands.
"They're back." Olivia's voice came from behind us, I watched her connect dots when she saw Fin shaking a stranger's hand. Her expression hardening with every step she took toward him. "Captain (Y/L/N)." She spoke.
My face twisted when he extended a hand out to her, I looked away, not knowing if she would shake it or not. I knew it wouldn't be personal but I couldn't stomach it either way.
Standing up to leave, Carisi and Rollins spaced themselves out to create a little barrier between my father and RJ and I. I could feel his eyes on us as we left, Lieu told him that the jury had come back with their decisions.
I walked straight into the elevator, and the rest of the crew filed in.
The elevator was moving but so was the Earth, I grew dizzy and lost my breath. Leaning back on the wall of the elevator, I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. The silence was odd but understandable, they knew I just needed a second.
"On the account of aggravated assault upon a police officer, how do you find?"
"Guilty, your honor."
"On the account of robbery in the first degree, how do you find?"
"Guilty, your honor."
"On the account of murder in the second degree, how do you find?"
"Guilty, your honor."
"On the behalf of the state of New York, thank you for your service."
There was hugging and celebrations. I spotted Elis and Jake were there. Gina's teenager was there, accompanied by Gina's sister. I kept my eyes on Edgard, something was off, he was barely reacting. I mean, he should have known this was coming, he was gambling with his life. But I expected an outburst.
Calhoun leaned over to him, whispering something. His fists slammed on the table, the room was shocked into silence.
"I'll fucking get you, (Y/N)," Edgard ripped around looking for me, he took steps to breach the gallery.
My heart seized in my chest, Carisi and Fin jumped to get ahead of me, but my father's frame stepped swiftly in front of Edgard, effectively stopping Edgard from continuing his attack.
Carisi and Fin shared a look. I shot a look at RJ, but his eyes were locked on our father.
The officers got their hands on him, a small burst of panic from the gallery got the judge to bang the gavel, calling for order.
It was all over as quick as it started. Edgard was being dragged out of the courtroom, shouting profanities, my father was making his exit, and I was stunned. All of my unofficial 'training' from my childhood and all of my on-the-job understanding of serial abusers told me that he was only protecting me because he was the only one who was allowed to hurt me. But this tiny, little voice in the back of my head instilled such a prolific feeling through the simple thought "He loves me."
I shook my head, shaking the feeling away. He didn't and never will.
A hand came down on my shoulder, a voice asked me if I was ok.
I nodded, humming in agreement. I couldn't focus anymore.
It was cold out for a spring day. We were heading the same way to get back to the station, or to Forlini's.
The bar was dimly lit, a drink was in front of me and I was surrounded by the squad, plus Barba and RJ.
I threw my drink back. Waving down the bartender for another.
Heat rose to my cheeks, undoubtedly I had at least three drinks if this was how I was feeling. I remembered the first one, we did toast to it but I don't remember what the toast was. The second was easy to put back and the third was easy to order.
Based on the cherry stems I collected, I was on number four. Olivia and Amanda had left, Carisi and RJ hit it off, playing pool. I couldn't find Fin. I looked around the room to find Barba. He wouldn't leave me like this? I don't think he would. I didn't expect him to know me well enough to understand what was happening in my head, but I could only hope he was smart enough to not leave me completely unsupervised.
A warm hand landed on my back and I nearly jumped out of my seat.
Turning to see who's hand it was, Rafael was sat right next to me. Sipping the last of his scotch, he put the glass down, he was watching me.
"I'm sorry." I muttered, a hand came up to my face, trying to hide my embarrassment and shame. I took a deep breath, the heat of the alcohol invaded my senses, I felt very warm and very fuzzy, my muscles were relaxed, and I couldn't keep my posture up anymore under the influence of the unsuspecting brown liquid.
Rafael's eyes scanned the room before he leaned into me.
"You're more than okay. I'll always be here for you."
I remembered saying those very words to him in his office just a few weeks before. Oh, how so much has changed.
"That's a very strong sentiment for only knowing me for 7 months." I repeated his words from that day back to him, modified for the month that had passed. I could feel the flame of my personality being relit, the overwhelming heat that was coursing between my thighs was also very real. Rafael's hand found my thigh under the bar, giving it a light squeeze, he started to rub up and down my thigh. I was practically drooling.
"Can you take me home, Rafa?" I asked, knitting my eye brows up on my forehead, not taking my eyes off of his.
"Yeah, let's get out of here." A beautiful little smirk was on his lips, his eyes were shining in the dim bar light. Getting out of his chair, he extended his hand toward me, flicking it towards himself trying to get me to take it. "Come on, you had a long day, let's go home."
Taking his hand, I felt like Bambi trying to stand up, the alcohol that permeated my muscles made them harder to use. The fuzzy warm sensation that spread through my bones was so foreign, but it was dissipating with every step I took. Looking back at my brother and Carisi, they both looked up just in time for me to see me waving goodbye at them.
My heart couldn't help but flutter when we got to his apartment, not mine. Let's go home, he brought me home. We made it through the lobby, the elevator was already ready for us when we called it. The door barely shut before I was in his personal space, wrapping my arms around him and landing a kiss on his lips, he groaned at the surprise. I backed us up against the wall as we exchanged heated kisses, I couldn't help but let out a breathy moan between kisses.
The ding cued us to migrate out of the elevator. Grabbing my hips, waddling us out of the lift. I giggled as we broke apart to walk down to his door.
He had his keys out, but he was thinking, I could see it. Rafael's hand came up to the door frame and he stood in front of me, boxing me in.
"You know," his other hand came up to my chin, bringing my eyes to meet his glossy gaze, "we don't have to play this so safe anymore." My head bumped against the wall as I laughed at his words.
"There's never been an attempt to play this safe. In fact, we did the complete opposite of that." His bright eyes were now dark and half lidded, staring back at back at me. My fingers found his suspenders, pulling his hips flush to mine. I earned a moan from him.
"You made it very hard to play anything safe." He growled out, trying to refrain from grinding against me.
"Does that mean there's more to you haven't played safe?" I teased, not expecting an actual response but the stony glare he dawned told me he was still thinking. "Oh, Rafa, what's going on in that head of yours?" My hand traveled up to this cheek, capturing his eyes again.
"That you're going to be the death of me." A smile curled up onto his cheeks, a beautiful light shone in his eyes, probably not from the florescent lighting of the hallway, but I needed something to blame that little light on. A tightness swelled in my chest, that this was all different now, that this was now a whole new world we were in.
"Listen, when we walk into that apartment, us, together, things are going to change for us." His demeanor stayed stone cold with his words, his eyes were studying me intently. He wasn't giving me any indication that this was going to go great for me, for us.
"Oh?" I tried not to sound disappointed, averting my gaze, "I knew this was all hot and fun when we shouldn't have been doing this, but if this is how you're gonna let me down--"
"No one is letting anyone down, in fact, the opposite." He took that last step into me, pulling me in by my waist, our lips found each other instantly. Wrapping my hand around his tie, pulling him in even closer to me. His hands pawed at my hips, holding me close to him, our kisses becoming even more feverish, the heat of the action and the dormant heat of the alcohol started to melt together.
Sweeping me around, he made quick work of getting his door open. He tried pulling me in through the threshold when I stopped.
"I'm not going in until I know what I'm agreeing to." I declared with my whole chest, holding myself in the doorway defiantly.
"Oh, so you'll agree?" Turning to look at me, ADA Barba's eyebrow peaked up, I wanted to kiss the devious smile off his lips but I wanted a real answer out of him.
"Rafael," I warned as he tried to tug me into his apartment, "what am I agreeing to?" I repeated myself.
Wrapping his arms again, he kissed my temple, then my cheek.
"You're agreeing to not have this conversation in the hallway." He kissed me. Rolling my eyes, we stepped into his apartment. I wandered into his apartment, flicking on lights and tossing my jacket over a chair. I felt more at home in his apartment than I would ever feel in mine, he had filled it with so many pieces of his life in photos and books and items that have a story. I want to know those stories, how he got the blown glass vase, or why he has a mint condition action figure, or where he got the framed antique map hanging in his kitchen. There's stories of Rafael Barba on every wall of his apartment.
Sitting on the couch, he got on his knees in front of me, his forearms resting on my thighs and his fingers were playing with my sides.
"Mi vida, you've made life exciting again. I want nothing more than for you to be apart of it." I couldn't help but reach out and slide my fingers through his hair. A light mist came over his beautiful blues, cupping his cheek, all I could do was nod in response. Leaning into my hand, I could see he needed more than a nod, he was a lawyer after all.
"Absolutely, Rafa." I was choked up. "You've got me, as long as you want me." I pulled his face up to mine for a soft kiss, filled with all of the sweetness of the moment and hope I had for our future. Also to hide the tears that were building in my eyes, I continued to kiss him.
Hauling both of us to our feet, I couldn't help but giggle when he brought me into his arms, nearly swinging me in his arms in a hug. I couldn't help but start pressing kisses on his neck, up to his jawline where I ghosted my teeth under his jaw. The moan he let out vibrated against my lips, sending a shot of heat down between my legs. His hands found my sides where he started to pull my shirt out from under my pants, I mirrored his actions, popping off his suspenders as he undid my belt. Holding on to his suspenders, I took steps backward toward his bedroom. B
Our fingers quickly went to work on each other, undoing each other's buttons of our clothes. In between searing kisses, shirts were easy to discard, his lips made it down to my neck where he kissed and nipped at my skin. I couldn't help but moan when his teeth scrapped over my collar bone, the heat was building in my bones.
Trousers and slacks mingled on the ground as we stepped out of them.
His warm hands glided around to my back, undoing my bra. My hand shot up to hold onto my chest, with my other hand, I pushed him down onto the bed. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching me climb onto his lap, straddling his hips. We both couldn't help but moan when our hips made contact, we swallowed our moans as we kissed again. Dragging my hips up his clothed length, our moans continued. His hands found my hips but they quickly found my chest, pawing and pinching at my nipples, sending sparks down to my hips as I rolled against him again.
"Rafa, please. I need you." I begged. He pulled himself up, having me sit down on his lap while his face disappeared into my chest, kissing, biting, and sucking my chest. Cupping both of my breasts, he looked up at me as he tentatively licked at my nipples. A moan came out of me as I struggled to keep looking at him and not throw my head back in ecstasy, but when his lips closed around one of my peaks and his teeth dragged over the peak and my hips had a mind of their own, grinding down on him. His hum of arousal was felt on my skin, my hands found his hair, pressing his face further into my skin. His cock was prodding at me, bumping into my clit every time I rolled up and into him, I swear he could feel how wet I was for him even through the clothes we still had on.
It was easy to slip off of his lap and onto my knees in front of him, I nearly yanked off his underwear, being met with a breathy laugh he assisted in taking them off.
"Wait," I stopped, immediately, part of me doing what I was told and part of me froze because of my line of work. "Up here." He patted the bed next to him. I sat down next to him, but he made a little tsk tsk at me, his hand caught my throat, forcing me to look at him.
"On your knees." He stroked his cock for me while I moved to be on my knees, I wasted no time and wrapped my lips around his cock, bringing myself all the way down onto him. My name came out as a hiss on his lips, his hips bucked just a touch into my face. He let me work, my tongue swirling around the head of his cock, I moaned around him as his hand found my thigh, gripping it firmly I slid my mouth down his length again. I barely felt his hand slide closer to my core when his hips pushed into my face, I moaned in response, pushing myself down his length, burying my nose into his thigh. Taking his opportunity, his fingers slid under my panties and into my folds, I choked on his cock trying to moan.
Trying to concentrate on the job at hand, I lessened my effort to focus on performing, his fingers were stroking my entrance. I hummed around his cock when he stopped, I dropped my throat around him again and his fingers spread me open. Both of our moans filled the room, the wet sounds from my mouth and my pussy joined our moans.
As I bobbed up and down on him, his fingers pumped in and out of me, the pressure building in my core, I felt myself beginning to open up to him, for him. His pace matched mine so when I couldn't take it anymore, I pulled off of him, breathing heavily and moaning into his lap.
"¿Que pasa, mi amor?" He didn't stop working me, his fingers slowed but were still pumping in and out, curling in me, he knew what he was doing to me.
"Rafa," I mewled, pushing back into his fingers, he chuckled at me. "Rafa, please." I moaned from his thigh, I was starting to shake under him. All I could focus on was remembering all the times I would fantasize about his fingers ruining me while he sipped from his drink at the bar. I clenched around his fingers at the thought of this all being real.
"Please what, mi vida?" He pulled my face up to his, trying to look at me but I could barely focus my eyes at the delicious feeling of his fingers picking up in pace. I heard my name but all I could hear was my moans and all I I felt was my legs shaking under me and the release I'd been trying to save was all over Rafael's fingers.
"You're so good, Rafa. Thank you, Rafa." I couldn't help it.
"Come here," Rafael's hands pulled me back onto his lap. I couldn't help it, it was so easy for me to push my panties to the side as I straddled his lap, I sat right down onto his cock. We both moaned out each others names as I fully sat down on him, his cock stretching me out even more than his fingers could. Wrapping my arms around his neck, pressing a searing kiss into his lips as I started moving, dragging my hips up and down on his cock. Deepening the kiss, his tongue traced my lips again, I couldn't help but dart mine out to meet his.
Humming into my mouth, he captured my lip in between his teeth. Separating our lips, I pushed him down on the bed, bouncing up and down on his cock, my thighs were starting to sting while I was working on him. I clenched down on him as his cock started hitting the right spot in me, filling me so perfectly, my hips were burning at the thought of a new release building.
"Rafael." I moaned against his lips, I was slowing down. "Rafael, please." I buried my face into his neck, I felt core tightening as I tried my best to keep up the pace, chasing the feeling of release.
His hands spread out of my ass, "Is it my turn?"
"Mhm, yessir." I moaned, giving him permission, he wasted no time. Rolling us over, I was on my back, he hooked his hands under my knees, pressing me down and open for him. He snapped his hips into me, I nearly started crying at the feeling, instead I moaned his name. Looking up at him, I found him looking down, admiring his cock pulling in and out of me, I couldn't help but moan again at the sight.
"Rafael," I moaned, clenching down on him, I saw his jaw flex. "Rafael." I tried again, I wanted him to look at me. "Look at me."
His hips bucked into me, harder than ever, as his eyes snapped up to mine. I cried out at the sensation, I felt used already but the heat was coiling in me again. Rafael was quickly approaching his climax, I could feel it through his faltering pace. Leaning down, he was reaching for my lips but the tilt of my hips and his rock hard cock slamming into me had me reaching my climax. I couldn't help but clamp down around him as my orgasm, there was no doubt he could feel my legs shaking under him, a moan ripped through him as he took himself out of me in an instant. I moaned at the loss and then a little more for the feeling of his hot seed spilling over my stomach and chest. Rafael was stroking the rest out of him as I felt my chest heaving.
Rafael moaned my name as he came down from his high. Collapsing beside me, his hand found my face, pulling me toward him. Capturing my lips in a warm, loving kiss, I couldn't help but give him back all the same sweetness he gave me.