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Eddie Munson is a tactile guy. He shows his friends affection through little touches and kind words, grabbing their shoulder, ruffling their hair, telling the kids they did a great job and he's proud of them.
Steve Harrington is quite the opposite of Eddie. Most days he can't find the comforting words he wishes he could offer, or build up the courage to reach out and just touch. Growing up with absent parents will do that to a guy. He can't help the uncomfortable buzzing feeling beneath his skin when his shoulder brushes past someone, much less the full body electricity that comes with a hug.
Eddie "The Freak" Munson and "King" Steve Harrington probably weren't meant to be friends. One, a D&D nerd who swore off popular kids after a lifetime of bullying; and the other, a reformed jock, who still isn't quite sure how he got roped into all this fantasy nonsense. Steve isn't really complaining though, and neither is Eddie. They've spent enough time together after Vecna to get over any remaining high school bullshit. Drama and opinions that once seemed like the most important thing in the world suddenly dropping into nothingness in the face of a literal demon.
Eddie is a tactile guy with everyone. Everyone, except Steve. Whether it's because he noticed Steve tense up as his hand reached out to pat him on the back, or because Eddie just doesn't want to touch him for some reason, Steve doesn't know. Sometimes, he can't help but listen to the subconscious whispers confirming his fears that Eddie just thinks he's unworthy of his soft touches.
Normally, it wouldn't bother him. Steve, as stated previously, doesn't like being touched. Lately, though, he's watched Eddie interact with the rest of the group, and there's something about the way he makes everyone around him relax, the way he connects the room in an overload of affection that Steve yearns to be a part of, but doesn't know how to ask for.
He wishes he could ask Eddie to take it slow, start small, just give him some time to get used to the warmth on his freezing skin. But Steve doesn't know how to reach out, and Eddie is a respectful guy. The minute Steve seemed uncomfortable, he pulled back. In the moment, Steve was grateful. Now, months later, he and Eddie see each other daily, and Steve finds himself praying for Eddie to just try one more time, so Steve can show he wants it.
It's easier with girls. Nancy was always gentle with him, and he wanted to be a good boyfriend, so whatever she wanted from him, he was happy to provide. Robin was different, but Robin would always be different. Steve thinks Robin might be his Real Life Platonic Soulmate. She somehow just knows what he can handle, and maybe their drug induced bathroom confessions are part of why he feels he can be so open with her. The other girls Steve's dated were never really around long enough to get passed the small touches that Steve could cringe his way through.
Point is, none of them are Eddie Munson, so they don't count. Steve knows, kind of, why he wants to be around Eddie so bad. He had his sexuality crisis right around the same time the metalhead tried to sacrifice himself to save everyone.
Steve knows why he wants to hang out with Eddie all the time, but the touch thing? He let Nancy in, he made himself comfortable with it because she was his girlfriend, it was expected of him. Robin keeps it rare enough, only touching him when she knows he needs it, that Steve doesn't find himself yearning for her. No, the yearning thing is an Eddie thing, and Steve simply doesn't understand why.
Steve thinks maybe he yearns because he feels disconnected. From Eddie, from the rest of the group... Mostly from Eddie. They're all at Steve's house, he's hosting a Hellfire meeting, and the party is on break for snacks and drinks. Eddie is happily chatting with Nancy, hand softly hitting her arm when she says something funny. Dustin brings him a Coke from the fridge, and Eddie reaches out, ruffling the kid's hair before thanking him. Steve watches Eddie interact with everyone, even checking in on El to make sure she was enjoying herself. (The boys raved about the game so much, El decided to give it a try, and everyone was more than happy to let her in.)
Steve is standing in the open archway at the kitchen, observing, trying not to let the gross fog of no one would notice if you just disappeared take over. He's looks down, counting the specks on the old tile floors to distract himself. He's interrupted by a tall shadow blocking his sight. "Hey Stevie, why're you so far away from everyone?" Eddie asks, a look of concern lightly painting his features, even as he grins at Steve.
Steve tries not to react to the way his stomach flips at the nickname, and clenches his jaw to keep from smiling embarrassingly. He keeps his face down. "I uh-" Steve clears his throat, shaking his head.
Why is he so far? He doesn't know. He automatically placed himself here as soon as everyone got up for the break. Out of the way, so they could enjoy themselves, and up to get anything if someone asked for it. Steve is the host, it's only the respectful thing to do. He has to make sure everyone else is taken care of, even if it means excluding himself from socializing with them. Steve was taught to be a good host before his parents started going on longer and longer trips. At least they gave him one thing...
"Steve?" Eddie says, loud, shocking the brunet into looking up at him with wide eyes and furrowed brows. "Sorry man!" Eddie quickly apologizes. "You kinda zoned out for a second... You wanna come sit with us? We're about to start back up! I'll even let you sit next to me and see my top secret DM plans!" Eddie wiggles his eyebrows as with the suggestion, and Steve can't stop himself from chuckling fondly at the man's antics.
"Yeah man, just gimme a second to grab a water, and I'll be there." Steve answers, and Eddie lights up, making an aborted motion to reach for Steve before he turns it into one of fixing his hair at the last second, remembering his friend's discomfort with being touched. Steve tries not to let the way his stomach drops show on his face. He knew it. Eddie doesn't want to touch him.
Steve hurries away after that, leaving Eddie standing in the archway, eyes narrowed. He thinks maybe he knows what's going on. Steve had been gravitating closer and closer to Eddie lately, and while Eddie is never one to push boundaries made clear by his friends, he knows Steve. He knows the former king of Hawkins high would drop dead before asking Eddie (or anyone, for that matter) for something he thinks might be a bother.
Eddie thinks of the stray cats in the trailer park, and how they were skittish at first, but when Eddie waited patiently, holding out his hand and letting them come to him first, they finally warmed up to him. Eddie thinks Steve might be a little miffed about being compared to a stray cat, but he doesn't think he's wrong. Eddie will just have to test his theory, he decides, as he makes his way back to the couch, leaving a space for Steve to sit next to him and watch.
In the kitchen, Steve is trying to calm the dejected feeling sitting heavily in his stomach after Eddie stopped himself from touching Steve. He doesn't understand why it affects him so badly. If it were literally anyone else, Steve would be thankful they chose not to touch him, but because its Eddie... Stupid, beautiful, kind, Eddie Munson, Steve feels the sharp pain of rejection throbbing in his veins. He takes a deep breath, blowing it out slowly before grabbing his water.
Steve notices the space Eddie left for him, and honestly wants to find a different seat to avoid any awkwardness, maybe Eddie just felt bad for him and offered his seat out of pity, but Eddie looks up and excitedly pats the seat next to him. "Over here Stevie boy, you get the best seat in the house!" Eddie says theatrically, winking at Steve.
Steve purses his lips, sending a glance to Robin, but the girl is deep in a quiet conversation with Nancy. The kids aren't paying attention either, excitedly talking to each other about the ongoing campaign and theories they have about Eddies future plans.
Steve stiffly sits down next to his crush, keeping his clenched fists in his lap, subconsciously trying to make himself smaller and put more distance between the two of them.
The couch is a two-seater, so there's already not much space. Steve can feel that tell tale discomfort under his skin, something Robin thinks is an effect of being alone most of his life before befriending the party.
Eddie must notice, though, because he leans over, close to Steve's ear so only he can hear, and whispers, "Just relax, Stevie. Nothin' to be afraid of." The way he says it, gentle and comforting, paired with the warmth coming from the metalhead's body encourages Steve to take a deep breath and sink further into the couch. He's still a little stiff, but much more comfortable than before.
"There ya go, big boy." Eddie smiles softly at Steve, while the latter tries to catch his breath at the closeness between them. Eddie's not quite touching him, but Steve can feel the long hair tickling his collarbones, and there's the faint scent of weed and cologne. In a moment, its gone. Not entirely. Eddie stays close, but returns his attention to the table, leaving his hand between their thighs, an invitation for Steve to reach out if he wants.
Steve thought he had his sexuality crisis a long time ago.
Steve is not sure he has ever felt a gay panic so severe as when he sees Eddie Munson not-so-subtly leaving his hand in Steve's reach. As if he knows.
Steve worries maybe he's reading too far into a thoughtless gesture, but as he watches Eddie start back up, dramatically gesturing as he narrates, Steve can't help but notice he keeps his right hand laying on the couch. It stays still while the left flails wildly, and Eddie really gets into the story. Steve takes a deep breath. He asked for this. This is what he wanted, so why can't he just- touch?
Steve makes a compromise with the anxiety pumping through his chest and sets his hand down centimeters from Eddie's, slowly moving his pinkie to barely touch him.
Eddie doesn't even stutter, just scoots his hand a little closer to Steve's, an affirmation that Steve guessed right, this is what he was asking for. Steve can feel the buzzing start, but he breathes, and slowly the feeling fades into one of comfortable warmth. He moves his fingers so their pinkies intertwine, and Eddie meets him with the same energy, squeezing once.
Steve's not even paying attention to the game, or the story coming out of Eddie's mouth. His entire focus in on his and Eddie's fingers intertwined just barely, but enough to make Steve feel breathless.
He nervously glances around the room to see if anyone's noticed, and only makes eye contact with Robin, who smirks at him knowingly. Steve flushes, and without thinking, he intertwines his and Eddie's hands fully, suddenly feeling like he can't get enough of the comforting feeling radiating from Eddie. It's like he wants to crawl into the man's skin. He just wants to be closer.
It's a hunger Steve was never aware of before now. After getting over the first few seconds of discomfort, Steve has to stop himself from completely melting into Eddie's side, longing for more of this feeling he's never experienced.
He feels safe, Steve notices. Protected, loved, included, in a way he has never been before. It's jarring and he almost dashes straight upstairs into his room to ignore what feels like an epiphany, but he can't bring himself to move even a single inch. Not with the way Eddie's thumb begins to stroke soothing circles. Not with the way Steve has to hold himself back from leaning far into Eddie's personal space and making a home for himself there.
Steve tunes back into the game, listening to Eddie's fantastical story telling, and the kids' out of the box ideas. Steve feels a fond smile creeping on his face. He loves these guys.
*************************
After that night, touches with Eddie become a thing... Well, not a thing entirely, but they become more frequent. What started as Eddie reaching out for Steve, and letting him take the lead has now transformed into Eddie confidently reaching for Steve's hand, or bumping Steve's shoulder with his shoulder, and just, little things, that Steve's slowly becoming acclimated to. Steve's getting more comfortable reaching out for Eddie first, too, the gnawing feeling inside his chest that yearns to feel the man's touch is a good motivator, though so Steve can't take full credit for that one.
They haven't talked about it. Steve can't be sure Eddie has feelings for him because Eddie touches everyone, but Robin claims there's something different about the way Eddie treats Steve.
She thinks Eddie likes him too. Steve will probably never find out, though. Both him and Eddie are seemingly too nervous to speak up. He definitely will not be the one confessing first, nope, no sir. Steve can't imagine putting himself out there, only to be rejected by the one person his brain has allowed to get close. The one person who can touch Steve without setting off that damned buzzing feeling. So Steve can't bring himself to risk it. Eddie's too important to lose, and Steve always takes and takes and takes.
He can afford to let go of one little crush for the greater good of having a best friend like Eddie Munson. He can resist that aching need to be closer, to feel the weight of Eddie's body pressing him into the mattress. Not even in a sexy way, Steve just wants to feel Eddie on every part of him, is almost desperate to see if that safe feeling is all encompassing when he's covered on all sides.
They're at Eddies place this time, sitting too close to each other, hands intertwined, shoulders pressing up against one another. Steve wishes he could lie down on Eddie's lap. He jolts slightly as the thought passes. That's... too much. Definitely not allowed.
While Steve has yet to see Eddie holding the hands of any of their other friends, he knows for sure, no one would be caught lying on the man's lap, save for one of the kids during a movie night, maybe.
Steve scoots closer to Eddie, slumping down just slightly. Now that the thought has been addressed, Steve can't stop thinking about it. Imagining how good it would feel to have Eddie's calloused fingers stroking through his hair.
Which, okay, Steve's man enough to admit when his small crush is turning into more of a problem than just a crush because why is the thought of Eddie combing through his carefully styled hair so enticing?
Eddie glances at Steve, who is not subtly inching closer to the metalhead. Eddie hides a grin. Steve has been slumping further into his side for the past few minutes, eyes blinking tiredly, and he's not sure the jock has even noticed he's doing it.
Eddie knows what Steve wants.
Eddie knows Steve will refuse himself the things he wants.
So Eddie reaches out first.
While the two have spent the past few weeks acclimating Steve to small touches, Eddie knows this one is a bigger step than just hand holding, so he starts slow.
Remember. Stray cat.
Eddie slowly lets go of Steve's hand, giving him an encouraging smile at the questioning look on Steve's face before he suggests, "Why don't you lie down, darling?"
That's another new thing of the past few weeks. The petnames. Anything from baby, to honey, to sweetheart, pretty boy- Pretty Boy was one that never failed to make Steve blush and stutter embarrassingly, failing to quip back. The first time Eddie said it, Steve just stared at him, slack-jawed.
Like when Eddie called him Pretty Boy, Steve just stares up at Eddie, shock blatant on his face. "How did-" He stops himself, blushing, but still looking at Eddie in confusion.
Eddie just smiles at him knowingly, You've been slowly inching down since we sat, sweetheart, and you've been yawning. It's hard to miss, Stevie. Now, come here, yeah?"
Eddie scoots over so Steve has room to elevate his legs on the couch, and giving time for Steve to see what he's doing, Eddie curls his arm around Steve's shoulder. He gently coaxes him into lying with his head on his lap, feeling Steve tense before slowly relaxing into the touch, like he always does. Eddie lifts his hand above Steves hair. "Can I?" Eddie asks, and Steve looks at him with adoration plainly in his eyes, nodding his head.
Eddie works his fingers through Steve's hair before scratching the younger man's scalp in soft circles.
Steve's entire body feels like jelly as he melts into Eddie's touch. It's even better than he imagined. He sighs contentedly, sinking further into Eddie's lap, nuzzling his nose on the man's knee.
Eddie strokes his hands through Steve's hair until he falls asleep, and even a little after that.
Damn. Eddie's so fucked. Eddie shakes his head as he thinks about the woes of falling for yet another straight man. Such is life for a gay dude in a small town, it seems.
Well, the least he can do is offer this small comfort to his friend. He's noticed how Steve seems to be more open now that he's gained confidence with Eddie. Or maybe Eddie's just good at bringing Steve into the conversation, but Steve's been more than happy to play along with whatever antics Eddie drags him into.
He sighs. A best friend is better than no friend, Eddie thinks. Having Steve here, with him, like this, is so much better than scaring Steve off by admitting his feelings. Eddie's been there, done that too many times to make that mistake again. Sure, none of those guys were Steve Harrington, but he's still Eddie Munson. Freak of Hawkins High. King Steve would never go for him.
Steve's not even gay, and if he was, surely he'd tell Eddie! It's not like Eddie's quiet about which way he swings. Steve would know it's safe to come out to Eddie if he was gay. So he's definitely not gay......... Maybe.
Eddie drifts off slowly, thoughts swirling, still stroking soft circles in his crush's hair.
Later that night, Steve is woken up by the sound of a door opening, and blearily realizes the position him and Eddie are in before he panics and shoots off the couch, where he was laying on Eddie. He yelps as his head smacks against the coffee table on his way down. "Ah! Shit!" He exclaims, grabbing his head in pain.
Eddie wakes up when he feels Steve launch himself off the couch, and is fully awake when he hears a thud followed by a pained shout. "Stevie?! fuck, are you okay?" Eddie shouts, falling to the floor where Steve was curled in on himself.
Wayne is making his way towards them both. "Steve? You good, son?" He asks.
"Ah, yeah. Just hit my head a little. 'm fine." He groans.
"Move your hands, Stevie. Lemme see the damage to your pretty face." Eddie says, reaching to grasp Steve's hands and move them from his head. Steve moves his hands, and Eddie grasps one before pushing the jock's hair out of his face to assess the injury. "What's the date today?" Eddie asks. Steve answers correctly. "You know where you are?"
Steve just gives him a deadpan look. "Your house, Eddie. I don't have a concussion. I think I'd know by now."
"Alright, alright!" Eddie laughs. "Just a little cut, and you'll definitely have a knot on your head, but nothing too bad. Don't worry honey, we'll get ya all fixed up." Wayne leaves to grab the bandaids they keep in the bathroom, and Eddie strokes Steve's forehead. "What startled you so bad, Stevie? Practically flew off the couch..." Eddie asks.
Steve blushes, looking towards the door before back at Eddie. "I- Your un- Wayne, he-" Steve stammers, and Eddie suddenly gets it.
"Oh you thought he'd get mad at how we were laying or something?"
"I- yeah... I guess.." Steve sighs, sitting up and leaning back on the couch.
"Well don't you worry Steve, I think the whole town knows you're straight as a pencil. Nothing wrong with some friendly cuddling." Eddie comforts Steve, even as he feels his stomach sink with every word. Right. Steve Harrington is straight. The boy who lets Eddie hold his hand and play with his hair, is never going to fall for Eddie the way Eddie's falling for him.
Steve pulls away from Eddie at that. "Um, yeah" He laughs humorlessly. "Totally straight..." Steve looks away. Steve is stricken. Why doesn't he just tell the truth for once? Why does Steve always hide behind white lies, especially now, especially with Eddie.
He has nothing to prove. He wants to be selfish. For once, Steve wants to take something for himself. He wants to try, even if he ruins things, he thinks maybe it'll work out, maybe even if Eddie doesn't feel the same, at least Steve will have another Queer friend in Hawkins. He is inspired suddenly, to tell Eddie everything. "Um, Eddie, I-"
"Alright boys I brought some alcohol wipes and bandaids. You got it, Eddie?" Wayne interrupts Steve, and he deflates, the courage he found within himself just moments ago dissolving into cowardice once more.
"Yeah, I got it! We'll get ya patched up, right Stevie?"
Steve smiles tightly at Eddie. "Yeah, Thanks Mr. Munson."
Eddie sits on his knees in front of Steve, carefully dabbing alcohol onto the cut, and Steve hisses a sharp breath at the sting. "I'm sorry, I know, I know. Just a few more seconds." Eddie comforts, dabbing away the blood. He tosses the wipes to the side and opens the bandaid, sticking it onto the wound.
Eddie's hands are cupping Steve's head. They're looking into each other's eyes, breathing each other's air. Eddie is suddenly struck with the knowledge that if he doesn't stop this right now, he is going to fall inescapably hard for the man in front of him.
He can't do that to Steve. He can't do that to himself. He has to be selfish, just this once. there's no other option.
Steve is staring into Eddie's eyes. Eddie's hands are holding his face so softly, and it burns but it feels so good, too. His heart is beating frantically in his chest. Now's his chance.
Steve wants to be selfish. Just this once, let Steve be selfish.
Steve takes a breath, about to tell Eddie his truth, when the burning feeling on his cheeks gives way to a freezing one, and suddenly, Eddie is moving so far out of Steve's reach and Steve can't even reorient himself before Eddie's saying. "It's late..." And glancing toward the door.
Steve's stomach drops. Not again. Please, not again. He ruined something so precious to him, and this time he didn't even have to say anything, Eddie somehow always knows what Steve's thinking, and this time's no different. He doesn't like Steve the way Steve likes him. "I- What? Eddie-" Steve stumbles over his words, trying to read the emotion on Eddie's face, but the man won't even look at him and Eddie interrupts him before he can finish.
"You work early tomorrow, don't you? It's late." Eddie says almost monotone. "You should probably... go home..."
Steve can't help the panic clawing at his throat. how did he fuck this up so badly, how can he fix this, what can he do, please he can't lose Eddie!
Steve chokes down the lump in his throat and nods. "Yeah-" Steve's voice cracks and he clears his throat before continuing. "Yeah, um, I guess I'll just... go home..." He gives one last fleeting glance to Eddie, who won't even look at him, before he's rushing out the door.
The tears are falling before Steve even gets to his car.
Steve cries a lot when he gets back home, wondering why he's never enough, but somehow always too much. His body shakes as he thinks of the warm feeling he gets when Eddie is near, knowing he won't get to experience that again, and isn't that the worst thing ever? Steve got a taste of a warmth he'd never known before, only to have it ripped away from him, leaving him freezing in his skin, and lonely in his big, empty house.
Steve sobs, hugging his body around a pillow. Why does Steve always take and take? Why can't he just accept what he's given and stop begging for more? It's pathetic.
Steve vows to make it up to Eddie. He'll give the man space. He'll stop forcing him to touch him. Steve should've known Eddie was doing it out of pity. No one ever does things for Steve because they want to. Only because they feel bad for him. Sad, pitiful, Steve Harrington.
What a joke.
Steve falls asleep with tears still streaming steadily down his face.
Steve calls out of work the next morning, Telling Robin some bullshit about how he couldn't sleep. He feels bad, making her believe he was riddled with nightmares all night, but he isn't ready to talk about Eddie yet, and she came to that conclusion herself, it's not Steve's fault he doesn't correct her.
Steve lays in bed all day, trying not to think about the feeling of Eddie's hand in his, or Eddie stroking his hair, or Eddie's warmth, or Eddie- fuck. His mind always circles back to Eddie. Why did he have to fall for yet another person who has no interest in him. It feels like the universe is playing a joke on him sometimes. He laughs humorlessly to himself, feeling a couple tears fall with it. He cries again. He misses Eddie.
He tries not to miss Eddie.
A few days pass similarly. Steve does go to work eventually, apologizing to Robin for missing a couple days, but he must look worse than he thinks because Robin just tells him it's okay, and that he can take it easy until he's feeling better.
Steve almost cries again when she offers him a hug, and it's comforting, but it's not Eddie, and he realizes he never even got to feel what a hug from Eddie felt like (He's sure it's warm and safe, he can imagine.) Robin hugs him tighter as he lets the tears out. He shakes in her arms, guiltily wishing her hold offered the same sense of security that Eddie's promised. He loves, Robin, though. There's an entirely different security that comes with her hugs, and Steve finds himself all the more grateful for her presence.
Steve feels like he's crumbling a little bit. He's seen Eddie a few times since The Incident. Eddie's always friendly, never touching Steve, though. It's like they're back to Pre-D&D game Steve and Eddie from weeks ago, and Steve is left sitting in an uncomfortable position of Needing to respect the clear boundaries that Eddie has put up between them, but feeling a hunger, an itch, a buzzing under his skin worse than he's ever felt before.
It's like once he was introduced to the drug that was Eddie's warmth, his body was hooked, and now Steve's stuck dealing with the repercussions of being left without it. He's restless, watching Eddie interact so effortlessly with the group, but awkwardly glancing and looking away from Steve.
Steve hates it. He feels on edge. He's unsure how to respond, Steve feels wholly off kilter and it's all stupid Eddie's fault for showing him what he'd been missing, then ripping it away from him.
The more Steve watches Eddie touch, and excitedly chat with the group, while almost entirely ignoring Steve's existence was starting to be less hurtful, and more anger inducing. How dare he? How dare Eddie dangle something so precious in front of Steve's face only to take it away so blindingly quick?!
Steve sits on the couch while the kids and Eddie play D&D in his home, and is struck with deja vu of the last time they did this. Except Eddie's on the opposite side of the room, and he's using both hands instead of one, and Steve's thinking of that stupid warmth again, and he shivers hard, clenching his jaw.
Steve stands up, rushing out the door to his back yard. He can't keep doing this. He has to give Eddie his space. Eddie doesn't deserve Steve's misplaced anger.
It's Dustin that comes outside to tell him when the game ends, Eddie is already gone when Steve comes back inside. He tries to ignore the disappointment.
Steve can't sleep. That's not necessarily unusal, but what is unusual is the way he can't stop shivering. That buzzing feeling is back, except this time it's all over, and it's never been this bad before, and Steve can't help but think maybe it's because no one had ever touched him like Eddie had.
Tears are rolling steadily down his face, and he curls tighter into the blanket, trying to mimic the feeling of being held before realizing he's only ever done the holding. Steve cries harder at that.
He's quickly losing himself to despair, and wonders if Eddie would let him in, just for a night. Just to get some warmth back in his body before he's let go again. Maybe he can beg Eddie for forgiveness, apologize for always taking more than he's offered. Maybe Eddie will hold his hand again. Steve nods to himself, scattered thoughts revolving around one thing: Eddie. He wanted Eddie, he needed Eddie. Eddie could fix this.
Steve's teeth chatter as he runs to his car in basketball shorts, a T-Shirt, and no shoes in the middle of November. Steve's not exactly thinking straight, okay?
It's not a far drive to Eddies, but Steve makes sure he goes slow enough to see through the tears still streaming down his face. He blasts the heat, but it doesn't stop the shivering, or the empty feeling in his stomach, Steve feels like an exposed nerve, every part of his body screaming for something.
Steve wraps his arms around his torso, walking unsteadily to the door of the Munson's trailer. His sobs rattle through his lungs, and he can't keep quiet no matter how hard he tries. Steve's legs are shaking, but he makes it to the door, thanking every God he can think of that Wayne's car is gone, but Eddie's is here, and the light is on. please answer Steve begs desperately, he doesn't know what he'll do if Eddie doesn't answer, or worse, if Eddie turns him away? Steve probably can't make it to Robin's like this. He sobs louder at the thought before he knocks on the door.
It doesn't take long for Eddie to answer, wrenching the door open in concern, having heard the sobs from inside. His eyes widen in panic and concern as he looks over Steve.
Steve watches Eddie move to reach for him before stopping himself and something in Steve snaps. He chokes on a loud sob, falling forward into Eddie's chest. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I took too much, please just-" He breaks off into more sobs, leaning further into Eddie's chest.
The man hasn't moved yet, in shock of the out of character behavior Steve is displaying. He looks at the man, shaking, holding himself in a tight grip, fingers white from gripping his sides so hard, and Eddie can't keep himself from bringing his arms around Steve, and backing them both up into the warm trailer. Steve sinks further into the embrace, knees almost buckling underneath him.
Eddie feels Steve start to fall to the floor, so he moves with him, "Okay, it's okay, you're okay Stevie, baby, what ever could you be sorry for honey? it's okay," Eddie whispers into Steve's ear, bringing his hand up to curl in the jock's hair.
Steve only cries harder, melting into Eddie "I took too much and you left and I cant- My skin- You- Eddie-" Steve chokes.
Eddie rubs his back soothingly, trying to decipher what Steve means. "Your skin? What about your skin, sweetheart? What's going on?"
"It hurts!" Steve wails, gasping harshly. "And you make- you make it better, but you don't want me anymore because I asked for too much, and I'm sorry I'm back, but I didn't know where to go!" Steve sobs.
Eddie freezes in horror. oh shit. He never meant to push Steve away so much that he thought Eddie was abandoning him! Although, he supposes he did put a lot of effort into ignoring Steve's luscious hair, and blinding smile in an attempt to get over his crush before he ruined things between them. Looks like he's a little late for that.
Steve starts to pull away at the lack of response, but Eddie only holds him tighter. "No, no, baby I'm so sorry I made you think you did something wrong. You didn't, Stevie. You never could."
Steve pushes himself further into Eddie, almost knocking the taller man over, but Eddie just squeezes him tighter, rubbing up and down his back and sides, trying to rub some warmth back into Steve. "Then why-" Steve starts. He shudders in the embrace, brain and body unsure if all the stimulation was exactly what he needed, or way too much.
"That was all me honey, all me. I was being stupid, I should have realized nothing good would've come out of me pulling away. I'm so sorry, stevie baby." Eddie says so earnestly that Steve cries a little harder.
Steve tenses back up in Eddie's embrace after a few minutes, preparing himself to say something. "Eddie..." Steve almost whispers.
"Yeah?" Eddie responds softly.
"I- I'm bi..."
Eddie swears his brain shuts down and restarts at those words, and he lets out a shocked laugh.
Steve pulls away, not much, just enough to look at Eddies face. "What-?"
Eddie interrupts him before he can ask, "So you're telling me, I don't actually have a crush on another straight boy?"
Steve pulls away a bit farther at that, "Are you- Eddie?! We HELD HANDS??!!"
Eddie blushes as Steve gawks at him. "Well yeah, but that doesn't make you gay, Stevie!"
Steve wrinkles his nose. "No.. I guess not, but still!... I was going to tell you the other night, after I hit my head, but..." Steve trails off.
"But... I'm a fucking idiot. Holy shit."
Steve cracks a smile at that. "Yeah, maybe a little." He grins cheekily. "I... have a crush on you too, by the way..." Steve confesses, wanting to get everything out now.
Eddie looks into Steve's eyes. He smiles wide before bringing his hands up to cup Steve's cheeks. Steve's hands follow, wrapping behind Eddie's neck. They both lean in, foreheads pressed up against each other. Eddie leans in first, pressing a kiss onto Steve's lips. Steve follows, and soon they're practically making out on the floor right in front of the door to Eddie and Wayne Munson's trailer. Eddie pulls away first, keeping his hands on Steve's face. "Why don't we go to bed? You can stay with me, I think you've had a long enough night. You deserve some rest and cuddles, baby."
Steve feels warmth and appreciation run through him at that. He thinks he might have already fallen completely for Eddie Munson. He nods his head. "That sounds good, Eds." They walk to Eddie's bedroom and Eddie helps Steve get comfortable. "Okay baby, I'll be right back, just gonna get you some water. Don't want you dehydrated." Eddie starts to pull away, but Steve quickly catches his wrist, looking away, ashamed.
Eddie moves to sit on the bed next to Steve, he moves his hand to stroke over one of his knees. "What is it, baby?"
"I don't-" Steve stops himself, biting his lip.
"Go on, Stevie, it's okay." Eddie encourages.
"I don't think I can be alone right now..." Steve admits, bringing a sleeve up to wipe a tear off his face. With Eddie near, the uncomfortable feeling under his skin had settled into a low buzzing. Steve knows if Eddie walks away it could be almost unbearable again. Sue him for being selfish this time.
Eddie leans forward, pressing a kiss to Steve's forehead, before smirking. He sits at the end of the bed, and moves his arms into position. "C'mere pretty boy." Eddie calls.
Steve looks confused. "What-"
"Piggyback ride, princess. c'mon! Your chariot awaits!" Eddie insists. Steve feels his face flush, but he also feels so so loved, he can't help but play along. He scoots to the edge, and presses his torso to Eddies back, wrapping his arms around his neck, and squeezing tight with his legs as Eddie rises. Eddie holds onto Steve's legs as they walk to the kitchen, Steve burying his face into Eddie's hair. Eddie grabs two water bottles and treks back to his room with no complaint.
Eddie drops Steve back onto the bed, quickly following by draping his entire body over Steve's, leaving just his head uncovered.
For the first time since Eddie sent him home, Steve feels his entire body relax. He sinks into the mattress, and finally finally the buzzing recedes, and Eddie's warmth overtakes him.
Steve was right, the feeling is an all-encapsulating safety. He breathes in Eddie's familiar scent, and finds himself beginning to nod off.
Eddie props himself up on his elbows, softly brushing hair our of Steve's face. "You sleepy, babydoll?" Eddie asked.
Steve sighs contentedly, and nods, smiling up at Eddie. He frowns and holds onto him tight when Eddie starts to move off him.
Eddie chuckles. "Don't wanna crush you in your sleep, Stevie, but I know a position that's just as good, don't even worry."
Steve tries not to blush at the innuendo, and lets Eddie maneuver them onto their sides. Eddie's behind him, his knees pressed against Steve's, his arms curled around Steve's chest, and he was right this position is almost even better, if only for the fact that Steve can breathe a little easier. He feels Eddie all around him. Their legs are intertwined, and Eddie rubs socked feet against Steve's calves.
Steve's eyes droop closed, lulled to sleep by the warmth around him, and Eddies hand stroking his chest. "Thank you, Eds." He mumbles.
Eddie presses a soft kiss to the back of Steve's head. "Anytime, Stevie."