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When Isagi blocks his shot, Bachira feels like his world has been shifted in every direction at once.
At first, everything feels like it's going in slow motion— the slow arc of the ball as it rises in the air, the way Isagi’s head tilts to follow its trajectory. What was Isagi even doing here? Wasn’t he supposed to be chasing after Rin, after the only real monster on this field worthy of his football? It throws Bachira off. He’d been convinced that he would be abandoned, and yet here Isagi was, forcing his way into Bachira’s world as though he belonged nowhere else.
Then, the ball drops and all of a sudden everything is going too fast.
Isagi turns around, chases after the ball with reckless abandon and shouts out Nagi’s name. Bachira quickly realizes that he’s signalling Nagi to trap the ball before Rin can get to it, but by the time Bachira can even think to do anything about that, Nagi has already followed through with Isagi’s unspoken command.
Bachira runs to the right, trying to get himself in any position that would allow him to defend from Team White’s impending attack, but it’s too late. Chigiri sprints past him, pushing forward so wildly that he’s little more than a blur on the field.
Everything feels hazy, dream-like. Tokimitsu is yelling something out, and from somewhere in his peripherals he thinks he sees Aryu trying to block off Barou. Bachira glances around to see where Rin is, only to find that he, predictably, is the only one in a good position to shut down Team White’s formation.
But then, Chigiri, lightning quick and with remarkable desperation, pushes past even Rin’s attempt to stop him. When he kicks the ball and scores, it’s all at once beautiful, merciless, and absolute.
Bachira is rendered breathless. He can imagine that the rest of Team Red is, too. After all, the Top 3 losing to a ragtag group of people hardly worth their time of day? It’s unthinkable. Should be unthinkable, and yet here they all stand, Tokimitsu and Aryu collapsed on the ground, Rin’s face bearing the scariest expression Bachira’s ever seen from him.
Bachira himself is feeling too many things at once, rooted to his spot on the ground. It’s only when the speakers above the field announce Game Over, Final Score 4-5, Team White Wins! that Bachira feels like he’s been woken up from his trance.
Cheers erupt from half of the stadium. Bachira watches as Nagi offers Chigiri a high five, only for Chigiri to brush his hand away and jump onto his shoulders in excitement. Isagi practically forces Barou into the fray, demanding that he celebrate along with them.
After their little celebration, though, decisions are to be made.
"We're stealing Bachira," Isagi announces, clear as day.
He's looking at his teammates when he says it, but afterwards he tilts his head to give Bachira a wide grin.
Bachira feels something explode in his chest, an exhilarating mix of fondness, joy, and eagerness to be chosen. He thinks his heart might be ready to leap out of his body, ready to rush forward and be with Isagi because it knows that that's where it's meant to be.
Isagi wants me, it seems to say. After everything, he still wants me.
Bachira is just about to walk forward, but Barou's voice cuts through the space of the field, deep and rough.
"The fuck? After that game?" He steps forward, pointing at Rin. "No, if we're going to be the best, we'll want him."
Bachira glances at Rin to find that his expression hasn't changed. It looks unhinged, ready to kill– Bachira thinks Team White could meet that fierceness halfway.
It's a choice that makes sense, Bachira knows. It only becomes clearer when Nagi pipes in, "I want Rin, too."
Bachira can see the frustration bloom on Isagi's face. His tone is tinged in it when he says, "Bachira is versatile enough to be able to produce chemical reactions with anyone. If we want to win, we need that."
"Eh?" Nagi responds. "But Rin can do all that and more, can't he? Even if you say Bachira can make better chemical reactions, Rin's control of the field is just on another level entirely."
Wow, Bachira thinks. That's probably the first time he's seen Nagi work so hard to defend something he wants.
Apparently, though, Isagi's own desire overshadows his. "You want to talk about controlling the field? There were three of you trying to contain Bachira during his last play. None of you succeeded."
Barou groans, exasperated and bordering on angry. "You contained him, and we won in the end because of that. None of us ever properly did that to Rin."
Isagi opens his mouth to argue back, but Barou talks over him. "Enough, you fucking donkey! This isn't getting us anywhere. The vote is two against one for Rin."
Slowly, Isagi takes a sharp inhale. Then, he turns to Chigiri. "What do you think?"
Chigiri looks conflicted for a moment. He looks at Bachira, then Rin, then Bachira again. Bachira meets his gaze, giving him a small smile.
No hard feelings, Bachira is trying to say. Chigiri gives him a small smile back, and Bachira thinks his message has been received.
Chigiri stares back at Isagi. "I wouldn't mind having Bachira, but I'd prefer Rin."
"What?" Isagi says, tone sounding half betrayed.
"I was with Bachira in Team Z, too," Chigiri explains. "I know he's amazing, Isagi. Believe me, I do."
Somehow, hearing Chigiri say that fills Bachira with an assurance he didn't realize he was missing. He feels a little bit silly, suddenly; how could he forget? He is amazing, too.
When Bachira had believed just minutes ago that he would lose his first friend, he accepted it and resolved to fight alone. He fought hard through the grief and the sorrow and the heartache, but when it came down to it, Isagi had stopped him before he could make his goal.
I believed in you, Bachira.
Hearing Isagi say that put his world in a tailspin, made him dizzy with euphoria at the thought of being wanted. But now, he remembers all over again: he can fight alone.
He's snapped out of his reverie when Chigiri continues, "Rin's sheer ability on the field can't be denied either, though. I'm curious about what it'd be like to play with him rather than against him. Aren't you?"
Isagi stares at Chigiri with an expression that's hard to read. He looks at odds with himself, like he's suppressing not only frustration at the lack of Team White's willingness to pick Bachira, but also at his own desire to get a taste of what playing with Rin is like.
Bachira sighs. He's been silent for too long, watching his life happen to him rather than playing a part in it. He just found his own voice again, didn't he? It would be such a waste not to use it now.
"Hey, Isagi," he says, and it shocks everyone to hear him speak up. All eyes are on him now.
Bachira decides to put their attention to good use. "You should really pick Rin."
Isagi's eyes widen, his jaw dropping open. Something like disbelief emerges on his face.
"What?" Isagi says, stepping towards Bachira. "But I promised I'd steal you back."
Bachira shakes his head, laughing a little bit. "Don't tell me your ego ends at getting me back? It doesn’t, right?"
Everyone must be staring, but Bachira doesn't care. The whole world could be looking at him and still all his attention would zero in on Isagi.
"You want to be the best in the world, don’t you?" Bachira continues, smiling at him brightly. He watches as a kaleidoscope of emotions flashes through Isagi's face: shock first, then confusion. Isagi nods his head slowly, like he isn’t entirely sure yet what he thinks, but it’s instinct to believe in whatever Bachira is saying.
Then Bachira says, "So pick Rin. Devour each other, and become the best in the world," and Isagi's expression turns into something that could be called awe.
"Bachira…" Isagi says, almost reverent. His tone bleeds out with plain adoration. It makes Bachira reach out, ruffling Isagi’s hair.
It’s the first act of affection between them in what feels like centuries, though it’s really only been a few days. Bachira tries not to preen at the way Isagi instinctively leans closer to him. Despite the way Isagi’s resolve to choose Rin is strengthening, Bachira still hears the I miss you that he isn’t saying.
It goes both ways, after all.
"Don't worry about me, okay?" Bachira replies softly. He grins, chopping Isagi on the head and relishing in his look of surprise before withdrawing his hand completely. "You said you believe in me, right? That means you know I'm good enough to pass this selection."
Bachira turns around, heading for Aryu and Tokimitsu, who are already standing in front of the loser’s gate. He spares one last glance at Rin, who doesn’t seem entirely willing to accept defeat just yet.
Then, right before he exits through the gate, he says, “You’ll see me again, Isagi. We both know it. I’ll become a monster worthy of being devoured by you yet.”
Bachira walks forward without turning back.
But you already are, Isagi thinks as he watches Bachira’s retreating back. He grits his teeth in an attempt to not let the words slip out.
“Come on,” Chigiri says, grabbing at his arm. “We have to go.”
Isagi whips his head around to see that Nagi and Barou are already slipping into the winner’s gate. He looks behind him to see that Rin is still on the ground.
Isagi gives Chigiri a look of uncertainty. "Should I talk to him?”
Chigiri gives him an appraising stare right back. “Are you in any state to be talking to anyone right now?”
Isagi raises a brow at him, and Chigiri says, ”You just lost your better half for the second time in, like, a week.”
“Well, you don’t have to put it like that,” Isagi says weakly.
Still, he knows Chigiri means well. It’s a fact that’s further proven when Chigiri sighs and tells him, “I’ll get Rin. You can go ahead.”
Isagi spares Rin one more passing glance; he looks less feral, but no less outraged. He’s clutching the grass surrounding him in a way Isagi knows will make his hands red raw.
Yeah, he doesn’t really want to deal with that right now. God knows his presence is only going to annoy Rin more.
“Thanks, Chigiri,” he says. Chigiri nods at him, heading for Rin, and Isagi makes his way to the winner’s gate.
The second three-on-three Bachira plays in for the Second Selection ends up being against Niko, Zantetsu, and a cyan-haired boy who Bachira learns is named Hiori.
They’re… synergistic, if nothing else. Both Niko and Hiori possess incredible skills in analytics, and it's all tied together in an explosive and dangerous package by their ability to chemically react with Zantetsu's acceleration.
It's a tough game for sure, but they manage to take the win on a clean five-to-three. In Bachira's opinion, they win for two reasons: the first is that their team's ability to produce chemical reactions are not only more effective, but also more efficient. It makes sense. They've already played a few rounds and practiced together, while Bachira assumes that this is only Zantetsu, Niko, and Hiori's first match.
The second is that both Niko and Hiori remind Bachira of Isagi, in similar ways. He can see it in their eyes, the sheer ability to evaluate the field and understand what the best possible play is for their team. Unfortunately, they both lacked the ruthlessness to be properly comparable to Isagi, though Niko had come close and fallen short by just a hair's breadth.
Just as unfortunately, even if they had been exactly like Isagi, Bachira would have still found a way to shut them down. No one knows Isagi better, after all.
In the end, they steal Zantetsu. Aryu is the one who wants him initially– something about having a glam left-foot shot– and Bachira agrees on account of taking a page out of Isagi's book: a speedster really would help this team make better chemical reactions. Tokimitsu is alright with the decision, though he admits to having wanted Hiori, and the rest is history.
When Zantetsu enters their assigned room with the rest of them, Bachira feels quite happy with their choice. He seems dependable on the field, and Bachira has no doubt that he can wring a few explosions out of him. But then Zantetsu opens his mouth, and Bachira becomes happy with the pick for an entirely different reason.
Zantetsu is fucking hilarious.
Bachira can’t claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed himself, but Zantetsu is on an entirely different level. He uses the most basic terms wrong, and then he mistakes the bedsheets for blankets. Bachira has such a blast with him.
“Thank you for your help,” Zantetsu says after they’ve managed to put the bedsheet back on the mattress. It’s kind of lopsided, and Bachira’s halfway sure that it’s inside out, but whatever. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, after all.”
What, Bachira thinks to himself, but he grins widely and pats Zantetsu on the back. “No problem! A friend indeed is in need of a friend! Or… something?”
He bursts out laughing at his own incapacity to remember the saying. Surprisingly, when he looks up, he finds that Zantetsu has cracked a smile. Bachira’s just about to point it out, say something like, hey, I made you smile, when his stomach suddenly rumbles.
“Oh,” he says instead. “Mind joining me for dinner?”
He usually waits for Tokimitsu or Aryu, but the former is doing resistance training and the latter is currently in the middle of something he calls his ‘ten-step glam routine’. It’s no big deal, though. Zantetsu will do just fine.
As long as Bachira doesn’t have to eat alone, it'll be fine.
Zantetsu has curry for dinner, and Bachira keeps trying to steal bits and pieces of his rice. At some point, Zantetsu swats him away and complains, “Why not just get your own rice?”
“Hmm,” Bachira pretends to think about it. “Because it’s more fun like this?”
“Is it?” Zantetsu asks, seeming genuinely curious. “How?”
“Well…” This time, when Bachira pauses, he’s actually giving Zantetsu’s question some thought. “Ah, you know, I’d do it all the time with Team Z. Sometimes with Kuon, back when he was nice enough to just humor me. I did it a few times with Chigiri, too, after he and I became better friends. Most of the time, though, it would be with Isagi.”
"Oh, alright," Zantetsu says, and then continues eating his food like nothing happened.
Bachira's face scrunches up– he didn't even answer Zantetsu's question, does he not realize that? He probably doesn't.
Bachira snatches another clump of his rice. Zantetsu scowls at him, then says flatly, "Why."
"Like I said, it's fun!"
"You find it funny to make fun of me?" Zantetsu asks. "That's horrible. You might as well be calling me an idiot."
That line of logic doesn't really compute in Bachira's head, but then again barely anything that Zantetsu's told him has. And anyways, what matters is that he seems upset.
"No, no, no," Bachira clarifies. "I'm not making fun of you. I think it's fun because… well, it makes me feel like I have a buddy, you know?"
"A buddy?" Zantetsu echoes.
"Yeah," Bachira says. "Like… someone to goof around with and talk to. Someone close enough to me that I can steal their food and it won't mean they'll hate me."
"Ah, like Nagi and Reo," Zantetsu says. Then, almost a little wistfully, he follows with, "I wonder who they picked as their third, since they didn't bother waiting up for me."
Bachira inhales. "Zantetsu, buddy, I have some news for you."
He proceeds to recount the events that have occurred since the beginning of the Second Selection. When he's in the middle of explaining how Nagi offered to join his and Isagi's team, though, Zantetsu begins to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Bachira asks, puzzled.
"The joke you made just now, about Nagi leaving Reo," Zantetsu explains. "That's so meticulous."
"I think you mean ridiculous?" Bachira offers up. "Anyways, it's not a joke. Nagi did end up joining our team."
Zantetsu's jaw drops, his mouth forming into a small 'o' shape. "Huh? That… that makes no sense."
"Well, if you're the one saying that, it must be true," Bachira says, and it's only half a dig at Zantetsu.
It flies right over Zantetsu's head, anyway. "Nagi does everything Reo tells him to. And there's no way Reo would tell him to team up with you guys."
Bachira nods. "Reo didn't."
"Exactly. So, why would Nagi do that?"
Bachira thinks about what Nagi said– I'd be lying if I said I'm not lonely without him, but… this side seemed more exciting. Following my ego is the right way in Blue Lock, right?
"I can think of a few reasons," he replies, intentionally cryptic. "But that’s besides the point! After that, we went on a three-on-three against Rin-chan's team, and then we lost, so they stole me."
"So who did you go against that you're back here now?" Zantetsu asks. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that the Top 3 should have won."
"Wow, you actually used that term right! Good job," Bachira says.
"Of course I did," Zantetsu replies, pushing his glasses up. Bachira thinks he might be trying to hide the way his eyes are glinting with pride.
"To answer your question, Isagi did," Bachira says simply. "He and Nagi were with Chigiri and Barou."
"And then he ended up picking Rin," Zantetsu finishes. It's a logical conclusion, and Bachira's kind of proud of him for coming to it.
He feels a little bad for shaking his head and saying, "No, actually. He picked me."
"But you're here now?"
"Everyone else picked Rin," Bachira explains. "Not Isagi, though. He… actually fought pretty hard to get the rest of his team to pick me."
"He failed in the end?" Zantetsu asks. At this point, his plate of curry has emptied out. Bachira likes to think it was a joint effort.
"No, I…" Bachira furrows his brows. "I was actually the one who told him to pick Rin along with everyone else."
It's quiet for a short while. Zantetsu stares blankly at his empty plate, and Bachira picks at the leftovers still on his own.
"Why did you do that?" Zantetsu asks. His tone is tentative, almost careful. It makes Bachira huff a small laugh.
"Well," he starts, picking up a stray carrot and then popping it into his mouth. "Sometimes… sometimes you kind of just need to figure yourself out? And, I realized in our match against Isagi's team that I haven't really been doing much of that."
"What do you mean when you say figure yourself out?" Zantetsu asks, shoving his chopsticks into Bachira's plate and taking some of his carrots, too.
Bachira's smile widens, not just because Zantetsu's sharing his food, but also because, for all that he lacks in wit and quick comprehension, he seems to make up for in the effort he puts in understanding.
So Bachira helps him understand. He talks about his mother and her paintings, and how she told him about the voice of the monster that lives inside everyone.
"I've been neglecting my voice for a long time, I think," Bachira says. "Because I was so happy to have Isagi, his voice started to matter to me more than my own— I mean, his ability to understand everything on the field is just so amazing, you know? But now… now I have the chance to hear myself better."
It's quiet again, and the silence stretches longer this time. Bachira thinks maybe Zantetsu didn't really follow, and he wouldn't blame him. Personal metaphors aren't exactly the best way to explain concrete events. But then, Zantetsu proves him wrong.
“Is that why you picked me instead of the other two?” Zantetsu asks, chilling and surprisingly sharp. “Because you didn’t want to be relying on another Isagi?”
"That's…" Bachira starts, genuinely shocked at such a precise observation. "Well, I wasn't really thinking about that. I mostly just thought that having someone fast like you would boost our chemical reactions. But, now that you mention it…"
Bachira chews on his lip. Subconsciously rejecting people with skills similar to Isagi's? Is this really how far he wants to detach himself from him? The truth is that he doesn't want to do that at all.
The truth is also that he needs to.
If he can fight this fight alone… if he can make his way to the end of this Selection without Isagi… that’s when he’ll know that he can find his own monster again.
He's already seen bits and pieces of it resurface during their match against Isagi's team. His soul slowly stitched itself together, creating a patchwork monstrosity that managed to spell out to everybody on the field that he is Bachira fucking Meguru, and he's a threat even when he's just now learning to make himself whole again.
But it isn't enough. His ego wants more than a quilt– it needs a tapestry, one that can illustrate the full extent of his superiority to all these flies buzzing around him, because nobody loves football more than he does.
"I'm learning to fight by myself," Bachira says, a bit of a disconnected statement from his previous one. "It's a little scary. Well, it's a lot scary."
Zantetsu stares at him, a bit confused but on the verge of being supportive. Bachira appreciates him for that endlessly.
"I'm lucky I have a buddy like you to spend time with outside of that," Bachira tells him, giving him a smile that Zantetsu returns.
It's not like he's going to be depending on Zantetsu to win this Selection, but, at the very least, it's really nice having someone to eat dinner with.
The match against the World Five is less of a fight and more of a one-sided massacre.
They lose, five to one. Rin is the only one among them who managed to score, though that’s not to say he’s the only one who stood a fighting chance. Chigiri and Nagi made for a brutal combination, and Barou’s attempts at devouring Isagi’s goals certainly gave their team an edge like nothing else could.
The rest of them didn’t manage to score any goals, but Isagi can see it more clearly now: this is what the best in the world looks like, and it’s a long ways away, but it isn’t impossible.
If he chases after it hard enough, he’ll be standing at the top one day.
When the match is finished, they return to their room, and it’s… expectedly chaotic. Once again, the task of being den mother falls to Isagi. He mediates fights between Barou and the other two, and picks up the messes that Nagi and Chigiri make.
Rin, meanwhile, is no hassle at all. In fact, he’s so inconspicuous that he leaves the room at some point and Isagi doesn’t even notice. When he asks the others where Rin could be, none of them are able to provide an answer.
Eventually, all the commotion has died down. Nagi is playing video games on his bed, Barou is folding out his clothes, and Chigiri is drying his hair. None of them look like they’re ready to pick a fight with each other any time soon, so Isagi takes the chance to finally sit on his bed and lie down.
He closes his eyes as his head hits the pillow. He doesn’t feel like sleeping yet, too much adrenaline still coursing through his veins. At times like these, he’d usually sneak out to try and practice, let the remnant energy within him putter out with a few drills. The thought isn’t as appealing anymore though, because he’s pretty comfortable in his bed right now. Besides, back then, he wouldn’t be going at it alone, always diligently followed by—
Isagi takes a deep exhale.
Bachira.
Had things gone his way, this room would’ve been far more chaotic. Instead of the unobtrusive Itoshi Rin, they would have instead had disorder personified Bachira Meguru. He would have loved to play ‘Nagi’s Trap Everything Championship’ with Chigiri, and then he would’ve probably laughed at Barou’s angry face after seeing their things scattered all over the floor. He’d play along with their Maid Barou jokes, too, and then narrowly avoid getting hit by Barou.
Bachira would smile that bright, blinding smile of his, and then stick his tongue out at Barou for missing. The thought alone makes Isagi’s lips twitch, makes him wonder if Bachira is smiling right now.
Plenty of people think Bachira smiles through everything. He smiles when he’s happy, when he’s excited— hell, back during their match against Team V, he smiled even as he ran through the field and beat them all eleven to one. If today was anything to go by, though, that clearly isn't the case.
Bachira can look upset and lonely, desperate, and downright terrified. Isagi prefers the version of him that isn't any of those things, the one that could have been here goofing around with them, grinning so wide that his face might split in two.
Isagi wipes a hand across his face.
Ah, when did he get so terribly desperate for Bachira’s presence? It’s a bit pathetic, honestly, the way he’s yearning for a version of the present where things are messier, where there would be more work for him to do, more fights to mediate and more clutter to look after, all if it meant Bachira would be there.
But Bachira isn’t here, Isagi reminds himself as he opens his eyes. It's okay, isn't it? If nothing else, what he's managed to do in trying to steal Bachira back is prove that he can fight without him. He did fight without Bachira, and he won, so– so why wasn't he getting the reward he chased after? What other lesson is he meant to learn at this point? He doesn't know. He doesn't get it.
So… maybe he's not so okay, after all.
Then, Isagi feels the mattress dip beside him, and when he gets up, he finds that Chigiri has made himself at home on his bed.
“Are you still angsting over us choosing Rin?” Chigiri says, deadpan, and Isagi would think he’s being mean if not for the concern that flashes through his eyes.
“I promised I’d get him back,” Isagi replies shortly, because it’s as simple as that.
Chigiri rolls his eyes. “You made good on it, for the most part. In the end, it was the rest of us that ruined it— so, no, you didn’t break any promises.”
Isagi smiles ruefully. “The irony isn’t lost on me that the team I built to get him back is ultimately what stopped me from doing just that.”
“Oh, grow up,” Chigiri says, and it’s a bit too harsh to be entirely playful. “Bachira’s strong. You’ll be with him again eventually. Unless you’re telling me you don’t actually believe in him enough to understand that?”
“I believe in him the most,” Isagi says, suddenly defensive.
“Good,” Chigiri says. “I believe in him too. Him, and Kunigami, and Reo, and… and everyone. This selection will be over, and we’ll all be together again soon.”
“That’s a bit optimistic, coming from you,” Isagi comments.
“Fine, then probably not everyone,” Chigiri says, fidgeting with his hair. His eyes look distant, like his mind is drifting a bit farther away than this conversation, and it’s clear what he’s thinking when he says, “But definitely Kunigami.”
“And Bachira?” Isagi says, trying to reel him back in. He politely ignores the way Chigiri’s cheeks dust pink.
“And Bachira,” Chigiri affirms.
“Reo, too, of course,” a voice pipes in from in front of them. Isagi finds Nagi standing before his bed. “Are you guys having a sleepover or something?”
“Technically, aren’t we all?” Isagi points out. “The five of us are sleeping in the same room.”
Nagi hums in response. Then, without any warning, he slumps forward until he’s lying on Isagi’s bed too. “Reo’s definitely going to make it, because he’s strong.”
“In that case, you would think he’d be harder to abandon,” Chigiri says, and there’s a protective edge to his voice that makes it clear he’s echoing Reo’s own sentiments.
“I didn’t abandon him,” Nagi replies, and despite the tonelessness of his voice, it’s clear he’s ready to defend himself. “I just… knew we’d be better off apart.”
“You were partners, though, weren’t you?” Chigiri replies. “Aren’t partners supposed to grow together?”
“Not always,” Nagi shakes his head. “Not if it means you’re going to be stuck in the same place, at the same level, and definitely not when you see a better way to grow.”
“So you left because you found somewhere better?” Chigiri prods.
“I left because I could get better,” Nagi says, an edge that Isagi has never heard before taking shape in his tone. “And it shouldn’t matter, because I’m doing it all for him anyways. I’m going to get better so that we can win the World Cup together, like we promised. Who cares if we’re apart right now? We’ll be together in the end, and then we’ll be strong enough to win.”
This… is the most Isagi has heard Nagi speak. It becomes clear that it probably is the most Nagi has likely ever spoken when Nagi says, “Ugh, whatever. This is a pain. Chigiri, play this game with me.”
And then he’s handing Chigiri his phone, and Isagi is left to think about Nagi’s words. Get better apart so you can be better together in the end… is that supposed to be the piece of the puzzle that Isagi was missing?
He was always under the impression that he and Bachira made each other better. Bachira gave him courage, and he liked to think that he gave Bachira security. Bachira himself said that, to him, Isagi is a monster to play with, a monster who can make him feel safe.
Ah. But, then again…
Rather than sharpen his instincts and allow him to hone his weapons, all that that security does is soften his edges. Being with Isagi for much longer… it would have only filed him down, wouldn’t it?
And then it clicks: Bachira is an egoist, too, and he would’ve chosen Isagi if it didn’t mean his ego would have diminished, his brightness dimmed down.
So Bachira chose himself, chose the path where he saw himself growing into something bigger, and brighter— and it’s with that thought in mind that Isagi suddenly feels… alright.
If this is something Bachira chose for himself, something he’s doing for himself, then Isagi could wait it out, right? If it’s for Bachira, Isagi could do anything.
Besides, they’ve been apart for this long already. What’s a little more?
Bachira’s second attempt at the Second Selection's Clear Stage is disappointingly of little note, but it's alright. They cleared the Second Selection, and Bachira's happy enough about that.
Still, he never bothered learning the names of the people he played against, and it hardly even mattered.
They won five-to-two. It was a massacre, what with Zantetsu's addition to the team, and it didn't help that Aryu and Tokimitsu have skills that perfectly round them all out.
It's only after Ego has briefed them on the next match, when they've arrived at their assigned dorm room, that Bachira even learns the name of the person they steal.
Kurona Ranze has bright pink hair that reminds Bachira of Chigiri, sharp teeth that remind him of Raichi, and a quiet disposition that's a little bit reminiscent of Rin.
The cat-eyes are all his, though. When Bachira points it out and says that they look cool, Kurona responds by staring at him for a short second and then giving him a small nod.
Bachira keeps attempting to make small talk with him, but his efforts are hardly reciprocated. Kurona seems to be committed to keeping quiet, responding with either one word actions or small motions like a shrug of the shoulders or a shake of the head. Unlike Rin, he doesn't get outwardly annoyed with Bachira. Bachira almost prefers Rin's anger to Kurona's display of impassivity.
It isn't Kurona's fault that talking to him just makes Bachira feel lonelier. Bachira knows that, so he thanks Kurona for humoring him before walking towards Zantetsu.
"You ready for a match against World-Class athletes, Zan-chan?" Bachira says, plopping carelessly onto Zantetsu's bed.
Zantetsu pays his antics no mind. "Of course. One who prepares to fail, fails, after all."
Bachira hums. "I'm pretty sure that's not how that goes, but you make a great point; If we were expecting to fail, then there's no way we'd win tomorrow!"
"And we will," Zantetsu responds. Bachira thinks he might be a little pleased with himself that his words made sense. "We have to, because I plan to be World-Class, too, and I can't do that if I can't beat these people first."
"World-Class, huh?" Bachira grins. "You'd have to be pretty good to get all the way up there."
"I am," Zantetsu says, conviction ringing clear in his voice. "One day, I'll be the world's most esteemed moron."
"I don't think you're a moron," Bachira replies immediately. "I mean, you get things wrong a lot of the time, but who doesn't make mistakes, you know? I know I'm always making them." Bachira pauses, contemplative. "Huh. Does that make me a moron?"
Zantetsu shakes his head, still sitting upright on his bed. "Not really, no. But I make mistakes much more than you do."
"Good!" Bachira says brightly, shifting upwards a little to look at Zantetsu. "My mom always said they were the best way to learn. It means you're learning new things all the time, Zan-chan! Isn't that fun?"
"Not when people make fun of me for it," Zantetsu admits, eyes downcast.
Bachira's been there. He remembers being called weird and gross and a bunch of other horrible names. It felt terrible. He can only hope that Zantetsu was a lot less reckless than he was about it, trying to pick a fight with no one else to back him up.
Bachira tells him, "Well, those people suck, and it says a lot more about them than it does about you that they call you things like that."
Zantetsu pauses shortly, fidgeting with his thumbs. Then, he glances down at Bachira. "My family always says that the true smart people are the ones with the grace not to call morons morons."
"Sounds wise," Bachira says. "Your family must be pretty smart."
"They are," Zantetsu says. "And if they're right, then that means you must be a true smart person, too."
Unable to help himself, Bachira snorts upon hearing that. "I… don't think I am, really."
Zantetsu shrugs. "Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. A moron like me wouldn't know. But there's one thing I do know."
"And what's that?" Bachira asks, eyes widening when Zantetsu puts an arm on his shoulder.
Zantetsu says, with a sincerity in his tone that Bachira doesn't often hear, "I'm pretty glad I have a buddy like you, too, Bachira Meguru."
Among the five of them, Rin is the only one fluent in English. This means that the trouble of tutoring everyone else falls on his shoulders.
This evidently does not please him. Chigiri is diligent enough to have studied some topics on his own, and Barou seems to be putting in effort to learn the language, but Nagi keeps falling asleep halfway through writing his sentences, and when he is awake, he always asks for the answers from either Chigiri or Isagi anyways.
This irritates Barou, who grabs at his collar and threatens to strangle him if he doesn’t start putting in his work. Barou also gets irritated over how Nagi’s things keep spilling over the table— erasers, pencils, and papers alike— and he makes good on his promise of strangulation the moment he steps on one of them and nearly trips.
From across the table, Isagi watches Rin’s already sour expression turn… sourer.
Before long, Rin gets up and slams his hands on the table. It’s an efficient way to get Nagi and Barou to stop squabbling, and even Chigiri looks up from his work.
“If you’re all going to be insufferable about this, I don’t see the point in me being here to witness it," he says, low and dangerous, leaving no room for argument.
Nobody bothers trying to stop him when he gets up to leave, everyone too absorbed in their own activities. Besides, no one is stupid enough to approach Rin when he's so clearly pissed, anyways.
Well, almost no one.
Isagi gets up and trails after him, ignoring Chigiri's attempts to stop him. He's been curious for a while now about what Rin gets up to whenever he leaves late into the afternoon, just as night is falling.
The answer turns out to be yoga. Isagi watches as Rin spreads himself across the mat on the floor. With no invitation from Rin whatsoever, Isagi decides to join him.
Rin pays him no mind, simply moving on to his next pose. It doesn't look too complicated, Isagi thinks to himself. How hard could it be to pull a leg out in front of you?
Pretty damn hard, Isagi learns when he actually tries to copy Rin and his hip joints start aching.
After a while, Rin switches out his formation for a new one: a single-handed handstand that Isagi is absolutely certain he isn't skilled enough to imitate. Isagi is nothing if not determined, though.
It takes all of half a minute for Isagi to fuck up the formation Rin is maintaining with ease.
"Sorry, sorry!" He says the moment he can feel himself collapsing, but it's too late: his foot is already making contact with Rin's side, and they both fall in an undignified little heap on the floor.
"What the fuck," Rin says, grabbing Isagi's collar in a manner not unlike Barou to Nagi.
Isagi thinks he could make a joke about that, but one glance at Rin's glowering expression has him instead saying, "My bad! The position you were doing looked easy, so I–"
"You really don't know when to quit, do you?" Rin says, annoyance clearly conveyed in his tone.
"No," Isagi replies without really thinking about it. "For what it's worth, I'd say that attitude got me pretty far."
Isagi realizes how tactless the statement is right as soon as it leaves his mouth, but he can't bring himself to regret it. He doesn't regret it, not even when Rin's grip on his shirt tightens.
"You won once, I'll give you that," Rin says, low and dangerous. "It won't happen again."
"Ugh," Isagi replies, unfazed as ever by Rin's attempts at intimidation. "Is that any way to talk to your senior?"
"Oh, please," Rin scoffs. "For a split second, I actually thought you'd be less annoying than the Bob Cut, but I turned out to be wrong. You're both unfit to consider yourselves my seniors."
The mention of Bachira makes Isagi’s face twitch. If Rin notices, he doesn’t show it, opting instead to lean down and begin rolling up his yoga mat.
Isagi watches him for a while rather than following suit.
Rin is amazing. Even off the field, his movements look controlled and practiced. He carries himself with a confidence that reflects just how talented and skilled he is, and even Isagi has to admit that it’s no wonder the rest of the team picked him.
But Bachira gave Isagi courage. He still does, even when far away. Isagi wonders if Rin felt the same.
Unbidden, Isagi asks, "What was it like to play with Bachira?"
"Underwhelming," Rin responds, quick and easy. He doesn't seem bothered by the question, which Isagi finds surprising. "Lukewarm."
In every game he's ever played with Bachira, Isagi found himself being enthralled by him one way or another. Isagi can't quite believe someone would be underwhelmed by Bachira. Despite his best attempts to stifle it, he scowls.
Rin must notice, because he adds somewhat begrudgingly, "But it was good of him to take my advice and quit playing football looking for someone else. He was almost worth something in that last match."
Something ugly rears inside Isagi's chest.
"What?" He asks Rin. "You said that to him?"
Could that have had something to do with Bachira's choice to let himself be taken a stage back? Isagi feels his newfound peace fraying little by little, not quite coming undone but getting there.
"Yes," Rin says plainly. "And look where it got him."
Isagi hates the way Rin sounds right now, high and mighty and acting as though he knows what's best for Bachira despite not knowing him at all.
"So, what– you're taking credit for his evolution?" Isagi asks, a bit snappish. "You're the reason he got better, is that it?"
"Of course not," Rin replies, equally as unintimidated by Isagi as Isagi was earlier by him. "But it definitely did him more good, does him more good, to be finding an ego that's his rather than one that needs other people."
Perhaps, most of all, what Isagi hates is the thought that Rin might actually know what's best for Bachira. Maybe the thing that's getting to him isn't the fact that Rin doesn't understand how amazing Bachira is.
Maybe it's the fact that Rin does.
Isagi realizes pretty quickly that that isn't a bad thing. Objectively speaking, it's better that Rin gives a shit, isn't it? Isagi relaxes his hands, startled upon noticing that they were clenched into fists.
He takes a deep exhale, reeling his irritation back in, and says, "You're right."
Glancing up, he finds Rin standing just a foot in front of him. His mat is in the container, and he looks ready to leave.
Before he does, Isagi tells him, "Thank you for caring that much about him, in your own way. Either you're a lot nicer than you make yourself out to be, or you actually do think Bachira's worth something."
This time, it's Rin's turn to scowl. "Don't get it twisted, pest. I just think it's a waste for someone who isn't a coward to be this terrified of being left behind."
With that, Rin exits the room, leaving Isagi to clean up after himself. As he does, he thinks about Rin's words, breaks them down in his mind so he can have an easier time fully comprehending them.
Someone who isn't a coward.
Isagi knows that. He knows it better than anyone else, that Bachira is bravery personified, that he has courage in spades and there's so much of it that it spills out of him and flows into everyone around him. That's how he scored a goal against Team V that single-handedly brought Team Z back to life.
Isagi knows Bachira isn't a coward; how else could he give Isagi courage otherwise? But then–
Terrified of being left alone.
That part Isagi had been less aware of. It's strangely upsetting to think that Rin realized it but Isagi didn't. It's even more upsetting to think that, in many ways, Isagi should have already known it.
During their time in Team Z, Bachira had said something about not losing so that they could stay together. Right before getting stolen by Rin's Team, Bachira had said he wanted to stay with Isagi until the end.
All this time, Bachira's been saying it, hasn't he? That he didn't want to be left behind? But Isagi had been so blinded by Bachira's bravery that he'd mistaken it for fearlessness. Beyond that, Isagi had also been blinded by the assumption that Bachira knew Isagi would never abandon him.
Ah. So much for them being good at communicating.
Isagi sighs, placing his rolled-up yoga mat neatly inside the container along with the rest. It won't get him anywhere to think this way.
If Bachira were here, he'd give Isagi a good chop on the head, and the thought of that makes Isagi's lips twitch.
Despite everything, thinking of Bachira still makes him smile.
He hopes it goes both ways, that even if he didn't understand Bachira as well as he thought he did, even with all this distance between them, he still somehow manages to make Bachira smile.
That's a better way to look at it, Isagi surmises. Maybe he didn't understand Bachira so well before, but the next time they see each other, Isagi can work that much harder to bridge the gap.
The World Five are monsters in their own right. Unlike the ones from the story books Bachira's mother read to him as a child, they don't end up getting defeated in the end.
Instead, they pummel Bachira and his teammates to the ground in a brutal match that ends on a five-to-one. Part of Bachira is proud of being the one who was closest to landing the goal, but most of him just feels unsatisfied. He's hungry for more: another round, another goal, even just another second of the ball at his feet.
This is the level he wants to be playing at, and these are the monsters he wants to be playing against. Not with, but monsters he wants to wage war on to see who comes out on top.
He's gotten a taste of exactly the kind of football he's been craving since he found his voice, and it's so delicious that he can't have enough. Bachira feels like he could be defeated a hundred times over and he'd still be yearning for more. It's a hunger that's all his, the hunger of the monster he's become in his own right.
Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and he has to leave the field eventually. When they get to their dorm room, Zantetsu gives him a pat on the back for his efforts, and Aryu tells him that his plays were as glam as it gets with their team. Tokimitsu gives him a nervous thumbs up, and even Kurona says quietly, "Nice job."
Bachira thanks them all, a little bit sheepish but mostly flattered. It was a good attempt coming from him, the closest they ever came to getting one over the World Five, but Bachira is still reeling a little bit at the thought of finally letting his monster out.
At some point, everyone disperses to do their usual nightly routines. Bachira's a little hungry himself; he looks over at Zantetsu's bed from his own, but he finds that the guy has already fallen asleep.
Bachira sighs and leans back into his pillows. As ill-advised as it is, he can forgo dinner for now. Football, he realized recently, can be fun even when played alone, but eating his meals is a little different from that.
He wants someone there with him so the silence doesn't swallow him whole.
A spontaneous thought occurs to him: if he and Isagi have both finished with the Second Selection, then they should be in the same area of the facility, shouldn't they? If Bachira left his room and knocked on every door nearby, then he could–
He catches himself before that train of thought goes anywhere. Could what? What is he planning to do, go out and try to find Isagi just to force him to eat with him? It's absurd and stupid. It's a terrible idea.
He still wants to do it. He doesn't, because he has some self-restraint, but–
But, Bachira wants Isagi.
He lays on his side and takes a breath, thinking about the fact that after everything Bachira still wants him, too.
It isn't the same as before, he realizes suddenly, this overwhelming desire to have Isagi at his side. He needed a monster back then, someone who could quell the loneliness that surrounded him, a sliver of light that could pierce through the darkness and vanquish it forever.
A monster, a hero. It had been the same thing to him back then. It's a little funny, because in his mom's stories the monsters always get slain by the heroes, but to Bachira they were one and the same. He supposes he himself was a bit like the damsel in distress: cursed to be locked up, his only real desire to be saved.
And then he found Isagi.
Isagi was the monster who had the same hunger within himself that Bachira did. The monster who vowed to steal him back and then fought desperately to follow through. The monster who took his loneliness away.
The monster who made it so easy to feel like he could be saved by someone else.
Of course Bachira would have done anything to keep Isagi by his side. He needed Isagi, his presence in Bachira's life such a necessity that it tilted Bachira's world on its axis. He apparently would've even been willing to cage the monster he had inside of him if it meant being with Isagi forever.
He's suddenly reminded of one particular fairy tale his mother used to read to him as a child; it was about a mermaid who traded her voice away to a terrible sea witch just so she could find her beloved prince. In the end, the prince kills the sea witch for the mermaid, and they live happily ever after.
Bachira thinks he might have been like that little mermaid, so ready to give away his voice just to have a taste of being wanted by someone else. But the lesson of this story is that he's not a damsel, and he's not in distress. Not anymore. Not when he took his voice back on his own, and not when he knows now that he's the only one in this world who can save himself.
He wonders idly: what is Isagi going to look like now that the image of the monster who saved Bachira has been deconstructed? Isagi isn't a hero anymore, or a prince, or some beacon of light. Now, he's just Isagi.
And Bachira wants him anyways.
Tomorrow, he'll see him again, and they'll be eating dinner together. There's no more desperation to keep Isagi, but Bachira's heart still races at the thought of getting to seek him out again.
A small smile plays on his lips. His football looks for no one else anymore– needs nobody else to be complete– but he thinks that maybe, even after all's been said and done, his heart will still always want Isagi.
His voice is all his again, but he thinks he might be alright giving his heart away.
When the end of the Second Selection is announced and they're all told to gather at the central joint room, Isagi is a little overzealous.
No, that's an understatement. He's entirely too excited, immediately putting on his shoes and uniform and heading out the door without waiting for anyone else. It's only when Chigiri calls out his name that he's forced to stop rushing.
"Geez, you're being way too enthusiastic," Chigiri says, catching up to him in the hallway. "It's been, what, two weeks at most?"
And that’s still two weeks too many, Isagi thinks, but instead he retorts, "Oh, please. Like you didn't spend an hour this morning styling your hair for when you get to see Kunigami?"
Chigiri scoffs at him, not dignifying Isagi's taunt with a response, but Isagi can see the way his cheeks are dusted a light pink. Isagi huffs a short laugh at him.
Then, the gates to the central joint room are opening, and Isagi walks in with Chigiri trailing behind. Nagi and Barou pass through immediately after, and Rin follows shortly after them, expression characteristically sour. Before they know it, they're being announced as the first team to clear the Second Selection.
Isagi can't breathe. He's all at once too nervous and excited, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when Chigiri yells, "Bachira!"
He turns his head around so fast it nearly gives him whiplash, but instead of yellow hair and a blinding smile, all that greets him instead is a still-closed door. Isagi looks at Chigiri, who snorts and sticks his tongue out at him.
Ugh, Isagi thinks, frowning. What a petty revenge for his comment about Kunigami earlier.
Then, the speakers blare out again, and Anri's voice saying, "Second Clear Team, please enter!"
This time, when Isagi turns to the door, it opens up and reveals Aryu and Tokimitsu. Isagi's heart leaps into his throat. If they're here, then that means–
Bachira walks into the room right after them, chatting animatedly with– is that Team V's Zantetsu?-- but his attention is stolen away when Isagi calls out his name.
Bachira turns to Isagi, their gazes finally meeting for the first time in what feels like forever. Isagi doesn't waste the chance to look at him, to drink in the sight of how their time spent apart has changed him, enhanced him.
On the surface, he looks the same– carefree and impossibly joyful– but as he steps forward, inching ever closer into Isagi's space, Isagi sees the ways in which Bachira Meguru has bloomed.
He walks with a confidence he didn't quite used to have, an assurance that his place in this room is deserved, could only ever be his. This is Bachira, all his courage laid out and then some, once ready to face his fears and now strong enough to destroy them completely.
And Isagi loves him, the yearning flowing through his body and making him move, forward, forward, forward until he's right in front of Bachira and Isagi can wrap his arms around his shoulders, bury his face in the crook of his neck.
"Woah, there," Bachira says, a teasing lilt to his voice. "It kind of feels like you missed me a little."
"Does it?" Isagi teases back, voice muffled against the collar of Bachira's jersey. "What could have given you that impression?"
Bachira laughs, hugging Isagi back, and Isagi feels like the world's been set alight after being in the dark for so long.
"Geez, could you both get a room?" Isagi hears Chigiri say from behind them.
Bachira pulls away from Isagi, and Isagi tries not to be too disappointed.
"Chigirin!" Bachira greets, barrelling towards Chigiri for another hug.
Isagi thinks privately that Bachira should've been that excited to see him too, but he supposes that's neither here nor there.
Chigiri wraps his arms around Bachira's waist, and then the speakers are announcing the Third Clear Team. Chigiri's expression turns suddenly sharp.
Bachira is still hanging on to Chigiri's side, but they watch the doors together. Isagi stands beside them, his hand hovering awkwardly beside Bachira's.
"Don't worry, Chigirin," Bachira says, looking up at Chigiri. "Kunigami's super strong, so I'm sure he'll make it."
"Who said I was worried?" Chigiri says, patting Bachira's head. His fingers card through the strands of Bachira's hair, and Isagi's own fingers twitch.
Bachira giggles, poking at Chigiri. "That crease on your forehead did."
The Third Clear Team doesn't end up having Kunigami in it. Nor does the Fourth, or the Fifth. They see a lot of faces, old and new, but none of them are Kunigami's.
By the time Anri announces the Sixth Clear Team, Nagi is standing alongside them, probably waiting with baited breath to see Reo.
And he does. Reo is the second to the last person to enter the Central Joint Room. Nagi speaks his name like it's gospel, wholly consoled, as though Reo's presence alone puts his fears to rest.
Isagi gets it.
By this point, Bachira has taken the initiative to grab Isagi's hand and intertwine their fingers, and he does it so smoothly that it only registers in Isagi's mind minutes after it's already happened.
Maybe Bachira did it because he was nervous about the fact that Kunigami hadn't arrived yet, because when the last person to pass the Second Selection enters the room, it isn't Kunigami, and Bachira's grip on his hand tightens.
Chigiri looks horrified, and Isagi can’t hide his own shock. His brows furrow, lips curling into a frown, but before his disappointment can wash over him completely, things just keep moving. Suddenly, Ego is announcing a game against the Japan U20 League that’ll be taking place in three weeks, telling them that their options are either to win or to say goodbye to Blue Lock forever. Then, he’s broadcasting the rules for how their tryouts are going to go, along with the people who managed to be part of the Top 6.
Apparently, Bachira’s good enough to be right below them, landing seventh best.
On a normal day, Isagi’s mind would be running a mile a minute. Right now, he feels like his brain is going static, short-circuiting from the sheer overload that the past hour has been— seeing Bachira again, losing Kunigami, finding out that they have three weeks to ensure their facility doesn’t get taken down.
He feels overwhelmed and untethered, like his nerves are going to burst out of his skin, but Bachira’s hand stays on his the entire time, grasp firm but soothing, and Isagi thinks he can deal with the overload.
More than courage, Isagi’s starting to find that Bachira gives him comfort.
Their hands stay intertwined until the announcements end. After that, all the people who made it through past the Second Selection are told they can head to the communal dining hall for dinner, and by the time Isagi gets there, it seems like something of a Team Z reunion is happening.
Isagi and Bachira sit next to each other, because it’s the only order of things that makes sense. The rest of the team takes up the table; Raichi is here, and so is Gagamaru. It's pleasantly surprising but not unbelievable. Igagura's a bit of a different case, but it hardly matters.
What's truly unbelievable is that Kunigami isn't with them.
Kunigami's absence is undoubtedly felt by Isagi, but he doubts it's being mourned by him the way it seems to be mourned by Chigiri, who picks silently at his food and hardly speaks over dinner.
The most unsettling part, Isagi supposes, is that Kunigami wasn't weak. Not by a long shot. So the fact that he isn't sitting here with them, but Igagura is, makes one thing clear to Isagi: this Selection was a bloodbath, and strength didn't guarantee success. Sometimes, people got lucky, for a value of luck unlike the one Ego proposed: arbitrary and entirely merciless.
Kunigami didn't. Isagi thinks maybe Kunigami was too righteous to be lucky in that way, too noble to grab at opportunities at the cost of harming others.
Isagi is suddenly grateful that Bachira's more vicious than that.
Dinner passes eventually, and by the time it ends, they're left to their own devices. Most people go to bed right away. Some continue to eat or socialize. The two of them sit side by side on a bed inside one of the empty rooms.
They don't talk at first, opting to bask in the tranquillity of the silence. After weeks of fighting tooth and nail to charge forward, it's nice having a moment to step back, a moment to breathe in the peace before it's taken away and they have to return to bloodshed and wreckage and destruction.
Isagi doesn't mind. Blue Lock's just that kind of place. But he can't deny that it's nice to have this silence, this moment alone with Bachira where, for the first time in so long, he doesn't have to be afraid that he'll be taken away.
His fears are put to rest just by seeing Bachira's face, so Isagi keeps watching him.
Then, Bachira breaks the silence, saying, "You okay?"
He's sitting at the edge of the bed, whereas Isagi's leaning against the headrest. It's far shorter of a distance between them compared to the past few days, but Isagi still doesn't like it. He leans up and pitches towards Bachira's side, leaning against his shoulder and revelling in the way Bachira laughs.
"Tired," Isagi says. "Overwhelmed."
"I bet you are! This Selection was insane," Bachira replies.
He's so close that Isagi can feel his breath falling above his head. Like this, Isagi can't look at him anymore, but he can feel the fabric of Bachira's shirt against his skin, and it's proof enough for Isagi that he's right here.
"What about you?" Isagi asks. "How are you doing?"
How does it feel knowing that our time spent apart has made you so much better?
Isagi knows that's the real question he wants to ask, buried beneath layers of withdrawn insecurity. He doesn't want to think so much about how his presence in Bachira's life has weakened him, when Bachira has only ever strengthened Isagi, but it's hard to push the thoughts away.
"Ahh, well," Bachira says. "I'm happy we made it. But also sad that Kunigami didn't. But it's good that everyone else did! Oh, but I'm also really tired…"
Isagi doesn't need to see him to know that different expressions are flashing through his face as he talks. He can imagine each one so well; after all, he's spent all this time imagining the moment they'd be together again. He wondered what kind of Bachira he'd meet the next time they saw each other.
He doesn't need to wonder anymore. Bachira's right here, refined to the fullest, blossomed like a flower in springtime when it's at its most beautiful. Unlike flowers in spring, though, Isagi can't imagine this version of Bachira wilting away. Isagi knows his newfound strength is permanent. What he's yet to find out is how exactly Bachira managed to acquire it.
“Hey," Isagi says, reaching out for Bachira's hand, "Tell me what's on your mind?"
Bachira, ever attuned to Isagi's desires, takes it and intertwines their fingers. He says, “I’m just… thankful."
"For what?"
"For you," Bachira says plainly, and Isagi's heart lurches in his chest. "Thank you for still wanting me in the end, Isagi."
"But I didn't keep my promise," Isagi says, suddenly defensive. "I– I didn't get you back. I failed."
Bachira starts to laugh, quieter and more muted than he usually does, but the sound still makes joy sing in Isagi's heart.
"Why are you being so hard on yourself?" Bachira asks, stroking his thumb against Isagi's hand in a way that's a little distracting. "You won, didn't you? And you tried to fight for me. Isn't that enough?"
No, it isn't, is Isagi's instinctive answer. How could it ever be enough to want Bachira but not get him back? Isagi always wants him anyways, but for the first time in his journey through this facility, he was confronted with the thought of having to fight without him.
Everyone always seemed so obsessed with taking Isagi down. Reo had sworn to beat him and take Nagi back. Barou had threatened to devour him in every single game they've played together, even as teammates. Hell, even Chigiri had made a promise with Kunigami to win against him.
But in Isagi's memories, he can still vividly see Bachira telling him, I wanted to stay with Isagi until the very end.
How was Isagi supposed to be immune to that? In a world where everyone is ready to sink their claws into Isagi's skin and tear him to pieces, Bachira has only ever held him together. Is it meant to be easy to let go of the very thing that sustains you? Isagi doubts it.
More to the point, how is Isagi meant to accept that he's the reason Bachira has been neglecting himself?
Bachira's waiting for an answer, he knows. He takes a deep exhale, steels himself to speak his mind.
"It isn't," Isagi replies. "Getting you back was the least I could have done after everything you've done for me. You give me courage and make me strong, so…"
Isagi's grip on his hand tightens as he parses over the words in his mind. How can he make it sound less– selfish? Less like the only reason he wanted Bachira back was for what he could get out of it?
He can't. It is selfish. All this time, he's been filing Bachira down, and if he'd gotten what he wanted in that match against Rin's team, Bachira would have never evolved like this.
"You don't need me to be strong, Isagi," Bachira says, piercing through the haze of anxiety Isagi's currently swimming in. "You're like that all on your own."
"I know," Isagi says. "But being with you makes me feel less afraid, you know? Like… things can go as wrong as they possibly can, but if you're here, then– then it'll be fine. I thought I was…"
Isagi shakes his head. That's not quite right. He tries again, "I wanted to be the same kind of person for you."
"Ah," Bachira says, tone sounding like some sort of understanding has befallen him. Perhaps it has, because he continues, "Are you somehow under the impression that you made me weak?"
Isagi swallows, then nods his head. He can't look Bachira in the eye right now.
He can, however, hear Bachira's soft laughter, and feel the way Bachira's grip on his hand has tightened as well.
"Isagi, you're so silly sometimes," Bachira tells him, voice soft and fond. "It's not like that. It's just— I figured something out recently.”
Isagi recalls the end of the First Selection, the way Bachira had turned to him and said, hey, you figured something out, didn’t you?
Figuring he should give as good as he gets, Isagi asks, “And what’s that?”
“I used to be really scared of being alone,” Bachira says, solemn but direct. “Afraid that no one would ever understand the way being on the field makes me feel.”
Isagi hears a huff of breath. Without having to look, he knows Bachira is grinning— the kind of humorless smile that he wears when the silence feels too heavy. Isagi wonders idly when exactly it was that he catalogued this fact. Just how long has he had a collection of Bachira’s smiles stockpiled in his mind?
“But then I met you, and suddenly I wasn’t alone anymore. Before I knew it, my reason for playing at all was just so I could be with you.” Bachira squeezes his hand once, a comforting pressure, before ultimately letting go. Isagi fights off a grimace. “That’s no good, though. I mean, it felt great to be with you, but it became scary to be by myself.”
Without Bachira’s hand keeping him tethered, Isagi pulls away from him. He can look at Bachira now, can see the way the gold of his irises are luminescent in the darkness of the room.
"It's not your fault I got scared, Isagi. And it isn't really my fault either, but it is my job to conquer that fear. It's a battle I have to fight all on my own."
Isagi doesn't bother asking how he's doing on that front. After all, there isn't a single thing Isagi can't imagine him conquering.
After all, he believes in Bachira the most.
"I know now that I'm the only one who can save me," Bachira continues, a lopsided grin etched onto his face. "And I remembered that the reason I play at all is because it's the most fun thing in the world! Why should I be afraid?"
Slowly, Isagi feels a grin bloom on his face, too. How very– Bachira, to see frighteningly unknowable depths and remain undaunted. Of course he would view all the unfamiliar parts of the world simply as brand new territory waiting to be explored. He could step into hell and befriend all its demons, Isagi thinks idly.
It's really no wonder he gives Isagi courage.
"I'm happy you saved yourself," Isagi says, the least conflicted he's been in a while. Seeing Bachira like this, the bravest he's ever been, makes Isagi realize he's been holding on to such a stupid fear, too.
He always thought he would take the world in his hands one day, just to give it to Bachira. Isagi never stopped to consider that he might want his own fair shot at taking it for himself.
So, yeah— they're inevitably going to be apart sometimes. There’s no stopping that. Maybe the separation will be forced out of them, or maybe they’ll even choose to do it willingly. Every now and then they’ll be divided, and there’s no guarantee that the next distance between them won’t be larger than the last.
Who cares? It’ll be all sorts of terrifying, but Isagi thinks it might also be the most exhilarating thing in the world. They'll learn and they'll grow. Maybe they'll even unlock the fullest of their potentials– who knows? But when the time is right, Isagi will see Bachira’s smile once more, and all his fears can be put to rest.
"Thanks, Isagi," Bachira tells him, and Isagi takes his hand once more.
"I wasn't finished," Isagi says. "I'm happy you saved yourself… but I'm also happy that we're together again. That I get to be with you right now."
Isagi thinks Bachira must be pretty happy too, if the way he smiles is anything to go by. It’s small, muted compared to the way his usual grins are wide and unabashed. It’s a quiet thing, a smile reserved just for the two of them. It’s the most beautiful smile in the world.
Isagi falls asleep first, head laying on Bachira's lap with their hands still intertwined. Bachira's other hand is on Isagi's head, stroking gently through the strands of his hair.
It's a wonder how nobody has walked in on them yet. It gets later and later still, but somehow they remain left to their own devices, as though this moment, this corner of the world was carved out just for the two of them.
Bachira cherishes it while it lasts.
It’s silent in the darkness of the room. To Bachira, silences used to mean loneliness; it was silent in their house whenever his mother couldn’t make it home for dinner, it was silent during lunch at school when nobody would sit with him, and it was silent in his bedroom every night after his mother would turn the television off and tell him to go to sleep.
Bachira uses the silence now to think about what might come after this.
There’s the next selection, and then the U-20 Match that’ll decide the fate of Blue Lock. Somehow, Bachira doesn’t doubt that they’ll remain standing no matter what happens. That, win or lose, Blue Lock’s spirit will live on. That there’ll always be an after that comes with every before.
If this were one of his mother’s fairytales, there should have been a happy ending by now. After all, they've faced the trials, gone on the journey. Is this the happy ending, this calm, dark room and the steady beat of Isagi's heart against Bachira's thigh?
It isn’t, right? Bachira doesn’t want it to be.
What he wants is more than something that ends. He wants more obstacles to overcome, more dragons to slay and witches to burn. More places to explore and adventures to live through. He thinks maybe the happy ending can wait until he’s satisfied, but he knows that isn’t true. He’ll never be satisfied.
He wants to keep going on this journey where he evolves again and again and again. He wants the path ahead of him to be endless.
And, the thing is, he doesn’t have to live through all of it with Isagi by his side. But, at least sometimes, they could walk that path ahead together, right?
They'll be apart. Not tonight, not tomorrow. Probably not for another month or so, but when the time comes, Bachira will be ready for it. By then, he can be excited for when he and Isagi are reunited once more.
After all, how can they come back together if they're not apart for a little while? All the best stories come with trials. The happiness isn't in the ending. It's in finding each other again and being able to bask in the thrill of victory. The happiness is being able to look back and say, look how far we’ve come. Aren’t we amazing?
The happiness is in growing. And it’s something they’ll be doing apart sometimes, but it’ll be evolution all the same.
The world is quiet, peaceful--it's eerily reminiscent of the atmosphere of his childhood bedroom whenever it was past his bedtime.
But it's a bit different now.
Isagi is here, a steady presence against his skin, and Bachira feels like he's not so alone anymore. He can’t wait for tomorrow and the new happy beginning it’ll surely bring.