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A girl sits on a bridge’s railing, right above the freezing river. She looks at the horizon, watching the sun set. An empty feeling remains in her soul. There was nothing left for her to live.
"Is this really the only solution to everything?"
A voice appears from behind her. She looks at the unfamiliar person behind her. It took a while for her to come up with the conclusion that that person was the grim reaper.
The grim reaper looks nothing like the common depiction of grim reapers. The grim reaper standing in front of the girl could be mistaken for the average person, except for the scythe.
"Are you here to collect my soul?" She asks. The grim reaper looks at her with an unreadable face, perhaps an emotion she couldn't recognize.
He shook his head. "I was collecting the soul of someone who passed nearby and came across you. Do you really want to die?"
The girl stares at the grim reaper and eventually nods her head. "Yes. I've spent weeks trying to find a reason to keep on going, but all I've found are more reasons to go."
He stands still for a few moments before deciding to sit on the ledge of the bridge as well, right beside the girl.
"...I see. Then, let’s get to know each other in your final moments, although, I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to answer your questions because I don’t know much in the first place. Do you mind?"
She looks at him with a shocked face, not expecting the company.
"I don't mind." She answers quietly, gazing at the river below.
The grim reaper looks above the girl's head, seeing a timer go down. It seems that she only has 10 minutes left in this world. There won't be any use in anyone trying to stop her.
“What’s your name?” The girl looks at him with furrowed brows.
“You’re the grim reaper, aren’t you supposed to know?” The grim reaper shakes its head, telling her how she wasn’t on his list in the first place. She slowly nods with understanding.
“I’m Makoto. My mom named me after her favorite character, but I can’t say the same about me.” A small frown forms on her face, which eventually dissipates.
“I see. From what I’ve learned, when I was alive, I was called ‘Klein’, which meant small in German, when I was a little boy then.” Makoto laughs quietly at his statement.
“You’re not exactly small, you’re more of… average height.” He nods with a quiet smile on his face. He notices her slowly get more comfortable with his presence, which makes him quite happy.
“How did you become a grim reaper? I don’t think anyone could just become one,” She asks with a curious tone.
He rummages through his memory, trying to remember how, but coming up with nothing. He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, maybe there’s a criteria? I haven’t been curious as to why at all… Perhaps I might be able to answer another question.”
Makoto thinks, scratching her chin. A question popped up in her mind, hoping that Klein had an answer.
“What was your life like before you died?”
He hums quietly, organizing his thoughts before answering.
“There are parts of my memory which are quite blurry, but I recall having a normal childhood, until adulthood happened. I also remember having a wife and a child. A pity I don’t remember them. I might have lived only until my mid-thirties, when the child was born, I remember dying not too long ago either… That’s all I recall.”
Klein sighs. Makoto nods quietly, absorbing the information while she prepares another question.
“That was too depressing… How about favorites? Like your favorite food when you were alive, or favorite tv show? Or maybe, favorite place?”
“Hmm… In the food area, I have a preference towards red meat, like steak. I don’t have an interest in television, I’d rather watch plays or musicals. Favorite place? I might have liked a certain park, but I don’t remember the exact details. How about yours?”
Makoto stares at the clouds before formulating an answer.
“I usually like eating anything with rice. I also don’t really like watching tv, I read books instead. I like my bedroom a lot, I prefer being alone and doing things myself.” She answers. Klein nods.
He faces her with a hesitant look before asking a crucial question.
“...Why do you want to die, Makoto?”
He watches the small glimmer of light in her eyes quickly die down, reverting back to a solemn and empty black. She sighs heavily, remembering why she was there in the first place.
“I never had a reason to keep on living in the first place, but I also didn’t have a reason to die. Well, until now.” A mirthless chuckle escapes her mouth. Klein continues to listen.
“I can’t handle these feelings anymore. It’s too much already. I- I don’t… I don’t want to continue existing with so much emotional baggage… It ruins everything.” Makoto starts to tremble, averting her gaze from him. She tightly grasps herself, seemingly trying to calm herself.
“Don’t you have anyone to talk to?” She shakes her head, tears flowing down her face.
“I don’t have a good relationship with my mom… Maybe when I was younger, yes, but… not anymore. My dad is no good either, he died before I could get to know him.” She sniffles.
She stops speaking for a moment before she continues.
“I was five when I noticed, was too early to notice, that I would be the first to say sorry to mom when we had little disagreements. So I wondered, my curiosity will be the end of me, would there ever be a moment when she said sorry first? So I stopped. I stopped saying sorry. I waited for a day. It turned into a week, then a month. Then a year.”
She looks at Klein with bloodshot eyes.
“It’s been twelve years, Klein. Twelve years.”
Makoto stopped wiping her tears.
“She never said sorry.” She breaks down, hiding her face in her hands.
“I- I was also quite intelligent when I was young. I was always first in my class, until I started having difficulty. She started showing how disappointed she was, telling me how hard she worked and only to be repaid by this? Bad grades? I could only say sorry. I couldn’t tell her how difficult everything was getting. It started being so hard to be focused, i-it was so hard to understand.” She wipes off her snot.
“But everything was so much better when I discovered books, specifically those with fantasy. I wanted to get away from it all, to the point that I’d rather stay locked up in my room reading it all instead of spending time with my mother. We started drifting apart.”
Makoto takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself temporarily to continue.
“Everything started being so awkward when it came to her. It started becoming weird talking to her, hearing her, sitting with her, being in the same room with her, everything. I would rather be in a room full of strangers than tell her I needed her help with something. I…”
She stares blankly at the sun, maybe it was longing, she didn’t know.
“I wish she’d remember that I’m human too. That I also have difficulty dealing with things, like her fits of rage. That I’m so tired of everything but I didn’t want to disrupt her so I’d rather go instead of scream at her.”
Klein listens quietly. She looks at him, this time with desperation.
“Klein, tell me. If I reduce myself to a memory, will my mother remember that I was just a child the whole time? That no amount of acting like nothing happened will ever repair the wounds she inflicted in my mind?”
He never answers her, she never expected one in the first place.
“I’m… I’m so tired of everything. I’m so tired of having to deal with both of us… I just want to end it all Klein… For making me feel so small, she gave too much weight for me to bear…”
Klein looks up, seeing the time saying 1 minute, with no seconds left.
Makoto stayed quiet for a while. He took this moment to speak.
“You’ve endured this much, Makoto. You deserve to rest.”
She sobs again as the last of her callousness comes crashing down. In that moment, she wasn’t the top-of-the-class Makoto, not the burnt-out-gifted-child Makoto, but just the five-year-old Makoto. The Makoto her mother used to have. The Makoto who wore her heart on her sleeve. The Makoto who smiled everyday because she was genuinely happy.
Klein reaches out to hug her, which was met with a tight and desperate embrace.
A final farewell.
As the sun sets and the night settles, she breaks the hug.
"...it was a beautiful sunset, wasn't it, Klein?"
The grim reaper nods, smiling gently.
"Goodbye, Makoto."
She smiles as she shifts to stand on the small space of concrete past the bridge's railing, facing the grim reaper.
A police officer on duty in the distance sees Makoto, willing and ready to die, which alarms her. She rushes toward the girl, screaming at her to get back behind the railing.
Makoto ignores the police officer and smiles at Klein.
"Thank you, for being the only one here for me."
She opens her arms wide, smiling, accepting the sweet relief of death, and falls into the river, and drowns in her last seconds.
The police officer screams and calls for backup, but the grim reaper knows it's too late.
He collects her soul, and moves on to find the next on his list.