Chapter Text
There had been a lot of back and forth debate on the matter, but it was eventually decided that Nandor would meet Guillermo just outside of the brownstone, then transform into a bat and enter a small silver cage. Guillermo would then lock the cage, bring it inside, and construct a ring of salt around them before freeing the vampire.
Most of the plan had gone smoothly. As there wasn't a lot of free floor space in the house that wasn't reserved for training purposes, the salt enclosure needed to be larger than planned, something which proved a bit of a challenge. The other slayers present, who numbered around thirty strong, had to back up and shove some furniture out of the way to make room. The salt circle ended up being inclusive of a ratty old couch and a rickety side table. Guillermo put Nandor's cage on top of the side table-- the surface of which was badly marred by water stains, because apparently no one in the place knew how to use a damn coaster. Guillermo walked the perimeter of the circle one last time to check that it was complete. The salt circle was more for Nandor's protection than his confinement-- Guillermo didn't want the other slayers getting too close to the vampire, and he also didn't want them doing something to Nandor because they felt threatened by him.
"Okay, so, for those of you who aren't familiar with one of these, Nandor is currently supernaturally contained inside this ring of salt." Guillermo explained to the audience. "He can't leave the area, and he also can't hypnotize you from inside here. Not that Nandor would actually try anything, obviously, but with vampires you always want to be safe. Instead of, sorry," he awkwardly finished.
"Yeah yeah yeah, show us the vampire slut already," someone called, to general chuckles from the other slayers. Guillermo wrinkled his nose, sighed, but did turn around and unlock the small cage.
"Okay, come on out Nandor," He beckoned.
Nandor flew out of the cage and then made a show of transfiguring from a bat into a wisp of mist, which then grew and expanded, solidifying at its center like cotton candy being spun onto a paper cone, before fully transforming into his human form with a showy flutter of his cape and a toss of his hair.
"Tah dah!" the vampire exclaimed, adopting a pose-- one hand at his hip and the other hanging limply from a raised wrist-- that reminded Guillermo of reciting that 'I'm a Little Teapot' nursery rhyme in elementary school. "Hello vampire hunters! It is I-- very very sexy vampire pet, Nandor the Relentless."
There were a few whoops from the audience, a few exclamations of 'motherfucker' and a few more of 'shiiiit dude.'
Nandor stood proudly in place, all eyes fixed upon him with mixtures of awe, fear, and lust, veritably preening under the attention he was receiving from the humans who surrounded him. Guillermo thought wryly to himself that only Nandor could turn the task of pretending to be enslaved into an exercise in ego stroking. Perhaps, Guillermo considered with chagrin, he'd dressed him too sexily. Unfortunately it was probably not possible to make Nandor unsexy, at least not through wardrobe choice alone. What would Guillermo even put him in to try to neutralize his sex appeal? Khakis and an ugly sweater? No, he thought with annoyance, then he'd just have a sexy single dad vibe. A hazmat suit might work, if it was loose-fitting enough. Neon yellow wasn't very flattering against undead skin.
But Guillermo didn't want to spend too much time dwelling on Nandor's skin. He placed the key to the silver cage in his breast pocket, cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Alright, so -"
"Yo, de la Cruz," someone called, cutting him off. Guillermo looked for the source of the comment and found Austin, one of the vested slayers, who met his eyes before jerking his head to the side to indicate the kitchen. "Quick house meeting."
"House meeting?" Nandor murmured to himself, like a dog who was pretty sure he'd just heard the word 'walkies' spoken. Guillermo shot him a warning look which he then turned on Austin.
"I'm kind of occupied-"
"Just for a sec, come on," the other slayer insisted. "There's something we wanna discuss before you start."
"Go on Guillermo," Nandor casually drawled. "I am fine to wait here while you have your little human house meeting."
"Watch it," Guillermo cautioned under his breath.
"Consider it watched, Master," the vampire replied with a smirk.
Guillermo pursed his lips and glanced once more between Nandor and the other slayer before stepping up to and over the perimeter of the salt circle, leaving the vampire behind. He followed Austin towards the kitchen, where a group of the most senior vested slayers were gathered, looking grim. Guillermo didn't like this. He lingered by the open doorway and put his hands in his coat pockets, curling his fingers around the handle of his knife. He turned a bit to the side so that he could keep Nandor in his sight. The vampire was currently conversing excitedly with the other humans-- Guillermo could faintly make out the word 'pillaging' being used repeatedly.
"So," Jace started, his arms crossed, leaning his back against the side of the fridge, "we've been talking, and we're not sure if this shit is going to fly with the old school brothers."
"The- the overseas slayers, you mean? The ones who are visiting for the big meetup?" Guillermo asked.
"Yeah," Austin confirmed.
"For the record, I don't think it's that big of a deal," added a third slayer, Darius, who was standing by the pantry eating directly out of a family sized bag of tortilla chips. "I mean, they're like, European and shit, aren't they?" Darius argued. "Those guys love the queers." He paused to lick crumbs off of his fingers and then went back to rifling through the communal chips. "Uh, no offense," he added aside to Guillermo, who gave him a tight smile in reply.
"No one gives a shit about that," Trent scoffed. "What matters is us looking like a bunch of clowns for letting some new guy," he nodded in Guillermo's direction, "invite his undead butt buddy into our headquarters. Twice."
"You guys are the ones who insisted I bring him back," Guillermo pointed out. "I was perfectly happy to stick to meeting him elsewhere. I wouldn't have brought him over if I'd known ahead of time that it was going to be a problem."
"Well yeah, that's why we waited to tell you until now," Darius admitted.
"We shouldn't have to miss out on a show just because the old guard are a buncha condescending pricks," another of the vested slayers, whose name was… Kaiden or Faiden or Zaiden or something like that, griped.
"We just wanted to make sure you know to keep the whole thing on the down-low in front of the foreign contingent," Jace said.
"Don't fuck this up for us," Trent warned.
"Wasn't planning on it," Guillermo deadpanned. He was personally all in favor of keeping mum about Nandor to their overseas visitors-- it would save him the headache of trying to convince a second group of skeptical vampire slayers of a cover story he'd pulled out of his ass in a moment of panic-- he just wasn't sure how realistic a goal like that was. It wasn't like he was the only person who could potentially blab about Nandor. He glanced over at the vampire, who was chattering blithely while being ogled by every active member of the New York Chapter of the Fraternal Order of Vampire Slayers. "Listen, I won't say anything, but I can't necessarily say I trust the other members to be so discreet."
"Don't worry about the rest of the brothers. We already talked to them," Darius volunteered. "They get it. They're cool. No one's gonna snitch."
Guillermo wasn't exactly convinced, given the frat members' propensities for getting into drunken boasting contests, but he didn't bother arguing further. As long as no one spilled the beans before the arrival of the European chapter the risk of his mission getting compromised would be minimal. The vampiric council was planning to strike during the first night of the event, so even if the visitors found out about Nandor the moment they arrived they wouldn't have much time to do anything about it.
"Alright, well, is that all, then?" Guillermo asked. "Because if I let Nandor go on too long with his war stories he gets all riled up and starts standing on tables and setting stuff on fire."
There were no immediate protests against his departure, so Guillermo went ahead and turned around, leaving the kitchen and heading back towards the warding circle in the center of the living room.
"Ah, at last you return!" Nandor exclaimed upon sighting the human, watching him cross the border of salt with a self-satisfied smile. "I have just been telling your little human friends the story of how I acquired my seventeenth favorite horse in the midst of battle."
"That's the one where you pulled the other warrior off the horse by his entrails, right?" Guillermo asked, quite familiar with said story.
"Well, yes," Nandor pouted, "though I had not gotten to that part yet, in fact, and now you have spoiled it. Which is not very nice, Guillermo, especially since-"
"What happened to calling him 'Master'?" Trent asked sardonically-- he and the other vested slayers having rejoined the crowd.
Shit, right.
"Eh?" Nandor responded.
"I'm not really all that strict about that 'Master' stuff," Guillermo hurried to explain, "especially when it's not just me and him around." He cleared his throat and gestured awkwardly between himself and his former Master. "You know, because of our cover being that I'm his familiar…? If he slipped up and called me Master in front of a bunch of other vampires that would be, uh, not very good, obviously."
"Well he better start getting used to it, because pretty soon we're going to wipe those suckers out for good!" someone in the audience shouted.
Hooting and cheering filled the room in response to this declaration. Guillermo pressed his lips into a thin line.
"...Yeah well, once something like that actually happens I might consider revising my policy," he deadpanned, "but last I checked our current plans only pertained to getting rid of all of the vampires in New York City. Even if we totally succeed there, there will still be tons of other nests elsewhere in the country, and the best ways to take those down would be for me to infiltrate them with Nandor."
"Very true," Nandor crooned, sending Guillermo a sly look, "Master."
The slayer cleared his throat again, trying to ignore the faint pang of desire that stirred in his gut at that title. He felt painfully conscious of all the eyes on him, all the humans currently scrutinizing him.
"So then, uh, to get started," he stammered-- suddenly very aware of, and unsure what to do with, his hands. He hadn't given a presentation since high school. "I think everyone here knows the basics-- that Nandor is my pet vampire, that I pretend to be his familiar so that I can get intel and locations of vampire gathering places. Uh, that I feed him blood from other vampires, mostly, or sometimes from a familiar who I had to dispatch… Uhm… what else…"
"I heard he sucked your cock," a particularly square-jawed specimen of toxic masculinity cut in from the crowd.
"Yes I did, and very skillfully I will add," Nandor boasted before Guillermo could ask if that was supposed to be a question. "His penis was quite thoroughly pleasured by my tongue until it ejaculated semen into my mouth. Several human people saw this and all were very impressed. And horny."
"I wasn't asking you, nosferatu," the man spat.
Nandor furrowed his brow and touched his nose lightly, confused.
"I think it's best that you leave the question answering to me, Nandor," Guillermo advised quietly. The vampire made an unhappy noise at that, but did not protest further. Guillermo faintly hoped that this would be the end of the sexual questions, at least for now.
"So how'd you get him sucking your cock?" another of the frat brothers called out from the audience, reminding Guillermo why he should never hope.