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Lir had sat up in bed, his white, curly hair looking even messier than usual after tossing and turning in his sleep.
Cole had disappeared, been gone two weeks already after one of their missions to an ancient elven temple in the Exalted Plains. He had returned to camp with them, but the following morning he had been nowhere to be seen. They had searched for him, but if Cole didn't want to be found, there was nothing he could do. The nights after they had arrived back at Skyhold Lir's dreams had started to get strange.
Cole was always at his bedside, leaning over him, and he could feel him struggle to keep control over himself, that he wanted Lir's blood, wanted to sink the fangs he had grown into his neck and drink until he no longer hungered for it.
Every night, every dream, Cole came closer and closer. Tonight, before he had woken, his lips had been an inch from Lir's neck and he had felt Cole's breath on his skin.
Lir shuddered. He wanted Cole to take his blood, to bite him and drink. He didn't know why the thought of it alone created such a strong desire in him, but it scared him that it did.
He wished Cole would return. Something had happened in the Fade, something nobody clearly remembered and it had left them all with a feeling of dread.
"Please come back," Lir whispered into the starlit room. "I need you. I need to know you're safe. It hurts so much not knowing why you left without a word."
He felt the hair on his arms raise, felt like he was being watched, like Cole was there and could hear him. When he breathed out, he could see his breath in the air.
It was getting colder in his room.
"Cole?" he asked, hopeful, but also afraid.
No answer.
Lir felt tears sting in his eyes before a sudden wave of panic washed over him.
He knew Cole was there, his presence so overwhelmingly close, so why couldn't he see him? He reached out his hand, wanted to touch him, to pull him in, feel his warmth-
His chambers turned pitch black. He was blind. The air became icy, thick, worse than breaking through thin ice on a lake.
He gasped and the air burned in his lungs. Two hands pushed him down into the mattress by the shoulders. He recognized them immediately.
"Cole!" His voice sounded muffled in the tangible darkness surrounding them.
"You want this?" Cole was speaking right into his ear, his breath hot on his skin.
Lir felt Cole shift, his weight now not only his hands on his shoulders, but also the rest of him on his midsection, his waist, where Cole was sitting, straddling him.
"You need to answer me," Cole urged him in a strained tone. "Your dreams were real. I was here, hoping my presence would keep the nightmares away. I changed after Adamant. I made everyone forget." His breaths were ragged when he continued, "I want your blood."
"Take it."
Cole was starting to shake on top of him. Lir tried to lift his arm to touch him and was glad when Cole eased the pressure on his shoulder so he could run his fingers into Cole's hair.
"I won't take much. I won't harm you," Cole promised.
A shiver coursed through Lir's body when Cole placed his lips on the thin, sensitive skin on the side of his neck. Cole had kissed him before but not like this.
When Lir didn't tense Cole released his shoulders, placed one hand on the other side of his neck and breathed in his scent. "You smell so good."
Lir almost laughed. "I'm pretty sure I don't. I've been sweating through my shirt."
"I don't mind, it's mixed with the scent of your blood underneath," Cole whispered, and the words made Lir's heart beat faster, intensifying the scent. He kissed him again, lower on the neck this time and chuckled when Lir responded by wrapping his free arm around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer.
"I missed you so much."
"I know. I missed you too." Cole kissed the crook of Lir's neck. "I'm going to place my teeth on your skin now, ok?"
"Ok." It felt good. Two small points of pressure coupled with Cole's breath. Lir told him, "You can have my blood. You can bite me."
"You're sure, right?"
"Yes."
Two sharp pricks, like needles, then the pain was gone and Lir felt happy as Cole swallowed the steady flow of warm blood rushing out of his vein. He never wanted to be apart from him again.
Through the haze he vaguely registered that after a while Cole pulled back and licked the remaining blood off his skin.
"You're so beautiful," Cole breathed.
It was then that Lir realized that Cole could see in the complete darkness. His hands wandered, found Cole's face. "Thank you, Cole. So are you."
"I'm sorry I was gone so long. I was so scared I'd hurt someone here that I kept my distance."
"It's ok now. You're back."
"I am." He chuckled. "You want to see me."
"I do. Are you... creating this darkness?"
Cole answered, "Yes. I panicked. You felt it as your own." He cupped Lir's face the same way Lir was holding his. "I hope the fangs don't scare you."
He could hear the smile in Cole's voice. "I doubt they will."
The darkness lifted as quickly as it had covered the room and Lir's eyes immediately refocused directly on Cole, who had leaned back and was smiling at him. Two of his upper canine teeth had lengthened into fangs, other than that, he looked unchanged.
"You think they're cute," Cole said, all worry leaving him. "Thank you."
Lir pointed at the corner of Cole's lips. "You got some blood there." He watched him lick it off.
"Sorry."
"It's fine." He sat up and hugged Cole tightly. "I'm so glad you're alright. I was so worried."
Cole wrapped his arms around him and squeezed. "I won't leave again. You have my word."
"Thank you, for coming back." Lir's voice cracked, he started crying.
Cole ran his hand along Lir's back, slow, soothing. "I wish I hadn't had to leave in the first place. It hurt."
"Do you want to talk about what happened? I'd understand if you didn't." He kept clinging to Cole, worried that if he let go, he'd vanish. "I'm grateful that you didn't make us forget you as well."
Cole's hand stilled. "I couldn't bring myself to. I spent so much time as a ghost... I didn't want to lose my friends... again."
"I'm sorry I brought it up. I didn't mean to remind you of your time at the Spire."
"Don't worry. I'm alright." Cole ever so slightly pulled back, placed a finger under Lir's chin and tipped his head up. Lir looked at him, pupils wide in the dim light. "I died from the wounds I sustained during the fight with the Horror at Dirthamen's temple. You tried to bring me back... and couldn't. So somebody else did."
Lir's face went white. "You died? You made us forget you died?!"
"Yes. You were all blaming yourselves. You were all hurting." He looked like he regretted it. "I thought it would help."
"I'm sorry I failed to save you, failed to bring you back."
"Don't be sorry. There was nothing you, or the others could have done," Cole said in a soothing tone.
"Who brought you back?"
"A cursed woman from Tevinter," Cole answered.
Lir hesitated, then wanted to know, "Are you cursed as well now?"
Cole nodded. "I need to drink blood to survive. I will always hunger for it... and if I go too long without... I'll lose control and become a monster." For a split second, Cole's eyes shifted to the side. "She taught me a lot while I was with her."
He watched Lir take in the information. Eventually he asked Cole, "How do you feel... about the curse?"
"It's not too bad. I'm glad I'm here with you again."
A smile formed on Lir's face. "I'm glad you are too. I'm sure everyone here would be happy to help and donate a bit of blood every day," Lir said. "Well, except Sera."
"Night," Cole corrected. "I sleep during the day. The sun burns me."
"Oh."
Cole grinned wide enough to once again expose his fangs. "You're thinking of changing your sleep schedule." He leaned closer, waited for a few moments. "And now you also want to kiss me."
"I do." He wasn't embarrassed, he was curious if it would feel different now that Cole's teeth had elongated. "Can I?"
"Yes, but be careful."
"I will be," Lir breathed. "Thank you." He closed the gap between them, gently pressing his lips to Cole's and felt them part in an invitation for his tongue to enter. He slowly pushed it in, testing if it would catch on Cole's fangs.
Cole held very still, letting Lir explore his mouth and savor the kiss. He only returned it when Lir asked him to. He followed Lir's lead, carefully angling his head so he wouldn't scratch Lir's lower lip with his teeth.
Lir surprised him when he said, "I want you to softly bite my lip, please."
He did, felt Lir relax into it, smelled the flush of blood rising to Lir's face. "Was that good?" Cole asked, smiling into the kiss.
"Yes," Lir replied, happy.
He did it again, just as gently, drawing a content sigh from Lir.
"You can have my blood every night," Lir told him quietly.
Cole pulled back, just a bit, just enough to look into Lir's eyes. "If you want, you can have my blood as well. It will bind us together, closer than we already are. It won't curse you. It will just... feel nice, like I'm holding your hand, even when I'm not within reach." He reassured Lir, "It's safe, the blood won't make you sick, it's altered by the magic within it."
It sounded like blood magic, and he didn't care. "I would like to be closer."
Cole didn't take his eyes off Lir as he bit his thumb. A single drop of blood seeped from the small puncture his fang had left. He held it out to Lir, who gingerly took Cole's hand, placed his lips on his finger and licked the metallic tasting liquid off it.
It was hot, dissolved on his tongue immediately and left him breathless. He held onto Cole's hand for a few moments longer, and when he did let go, he was embarrassed how much he had liked the taste of it.
And then, somehow, Cole was in his head, his heart, his blood, like a second self. It felt like he was looking over Lir's shoulder, holding onto him, watching over him. It was safe and strangely familiar.
"It's so nice," Lir said, hugging himself. The wave of affection and love washing over him was Cole's. And now like this, his own. For the first time in a very long while, he loved himself, realized that he was going to be okay. Lir reached out again, placed his hand on Cole's cheek. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Cole smiled at him. "You would have been fine on your own. You might not realize, but you don't need me." He placed his hand over Lir's. "But it makes me happy that you want me in your life, that I bring you joy." Then he very gently put his palm on Lir's chest and pushed. "Lie down again."
Lir did and Cole followed, lying down next to him. He draped one arm and leg over Lir and rested his head on his chest. He felt Lir run his fingers through his hair and sighed.
"I will stay the night," Cole hummed. "And if we could block out all the sunlight from the window, I could sleep here as well."
"I could replace the curtains with blackout ones," Lir offered.
"That would be nice."
"Where are you currently sleeping?"
Cole shrugged. "Spent the day before in the crypt."
"I'm going to Val Royeaux tomorrow. You're not spending more time than absolutely necessary there." He was about to sit up again, but Cole stopped him.
"Relax, I do have a bedroll to sleep on. It's fine, I'll be ok."
"I've made up my mind. Tomorrow."
Cole pushed himself up on his elbow and looked at Lir. "Alright." He smirked. "I'll be returning here when the sun has set." Then leaned down and kissed Lir's neck once more. "Think about what you would like me to do for you when I come back. Don't be afraid to ask to try something you think you'll enjoy."
Lir stopped breathing for a moment. "Thank you. The same goes for you."
Cole's smirk widened. "Oh, I already have something in mind. I think you'll like it too."
"What is it?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
"I'll tell you tomorrow." He lay back down and pulled Lir on top of him, holding him tightly. "Sleep well."