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Duke doesn’t know when it started. The hum in his blood, the itch, the craving, the hunger. The need to get stronger. It lives inside him, it’s clawed its way through flesh and sinew; created this pulsating, festering thing.
If he thinks hard, puts real, solid effort behind the thought, Duke can almost remember what it was like before he joined Frame. He remembers Asher’s teasing, his relentless pursuit of a reaction. Cain at his side, the way his long hair swayed a little when he walked, his gold-streaked panther.
But these memories are fast replaced with others; like the look on Cain’s face when Duke betrayed the closest thing to a friend he’s ever had. How it had felt to slice through bone in Asher’s arm, leave him unbalanced, prove his own strength, win the spar. That one’s the hardest to recall, buried deep in the frenzy of fighting.
Duke’s always had pride issues. Comes with the territory, really, when you’re born into the Grayne family. So if we trace it back far enough, we can probably find the shift - where something went wrong, really, viciously wrong.
In Duke’s case, this shift came with Seo Jiwoo. Duke didn’t lose, he shouldn’t lose, he couldn’t lose - it was unthinkable. To lose, after all those hours spent training to take on the mantle of head of the family, strongest rookie in the world (unofficially).
So naturally, Duke felt the loss of the power that came with these things that much more keenly when the boy he lost to was some random, newly discovered, unaffiliated awakened one.
Unaffiliated. The shame of this was great, all-encompassing. For weeks, Duke felt like he was wading through a bottomless, endless lake of sticky, black treacle, just to perform even the most trivial tasks. Hundreds, thousands of beady little eyes surveying him, cataloguing his movements, searching for the weakness that had left him crumpled and bloodied, out cold at the side of the Korean Awakened Academy arena.
First, there was the shame, the disbelief. Then there was anger - and the discovery that Seo Jiwoo was Kayden’s apprentice, which facilitated the anger. Hardly facilitated, more fanned the flames of Duke’s rage and indignation until it was a roaring inferno. This was the first hint of change, because, if anything, the knowledge that Seo Jiwoo had a valid reason to have beaten him should have soothed Duke. He should have felt at least vaguely placated, but there was nothing of the sort. Only fury.
Unfortunately for the World Awakened Academy, Duke’s fury slowly began to shift towards resentment. Just a little jealousy started to creep in, and Duke started to question just what was so special about this Jiwoo guy. Why should he have received better opportunities than Duke? Duke had been raised for this. Duke was the one who’d trained relentlessly since the age of four years and six months, Duke was a member of the prestigious Grayne family. Seo Jiwoo paled in comparison.
With this train of thought, the dull thrum of want beneath Duke’s skin changed, underwent an artless mutation, growing rapidly and viciously into an unignorable roar.
Hunger and pride make a formidable pair, and The Frame, along with most of the general Awakened population, is well aware of this. The Frame was also well aware of the fact that Duke was well on his way to becoming an excellently sharp thorn in their side; so when it came down to it, the choice was easy.
If you can’t beat them, join them - or make them join you - the outcome is the same either way, and The Frame certainly doesn’t care about the technicalities.
Roist told Duke something once, after a particularly disgraceful, calculated move on Duke’s part.
“You’ve got to have the strength to let power go,” he’d said, in that condescending, borderline brotherly way of his, “and that’s something Schneider can’t teach you.”
When his thoughts ran clear, Duke considered this, understood it even, but Duke’s beastly want had filthy, razor-edged talons, and Duke had been dripping dirty blood since the day he’d realised what it was to bear the name Grayne.