Chapter Text
After about two hours of arguing, Etho agrees to bring himself and Zedaph home at the first provided opportunity. Team 7 ‘agrees’ to stay in Konoha, but he’s been showing them how to world-hop underneath the table for the entire meeting, so hopefully they’ll be able to meet up later. Danzo is a ruthless negotiator, but he can’t compete with people who really just don’t care.
He’s arguing with Obito, now. It’s not going well for either of them.
“I’ll just kidnap Kakashi again!” Obito says, throwing his hands in the air. “I’ll stuff him in- in some desert cave in Kuna and you’ll never see him again!”
“I don’t particularly care about Hatake,” Danzo says. He’s pretending to be calm, but Etho can see his hands shaking with rage. “I care that there is another Uchiha walking around Konoha for-”
“You know, this guy told Itachi to kill our family,” Obito tells Sasuke.
“You helped him kill them!” Danzo shoots back.
“You plucked their eyes out and embedded them in your skin!” Obito hisses.
This is the ninth time they have come back to exactly this argument. Sasuke stopped being horrified the fourth time.
“It was necessary for the good of Konoha,” Danzo is saying. “I did nothing that did not need to be done.”
Etho glances out the window-
“Zed,” he whispers, elbowing him.
“Huh?” says Zedaph, shooting awake. “What-?”
“Do you see that?” Etho asks, pointing out the window at the massive portal.
“Oh,” says Zed. “Huh. Yep.”
“What?” Danzo demands. “What is it?”
“Hermits are here!” Etho says gleefully. “Hey, kids- you’ve got everything down?”
“Yes!” says Sakura. “We’ll come visit soon!”
“Do you think they’ve got Kakashi with them?” Obito asks, looking conflicted.
“I don’t know,” Etho shrugs. “They might not have been in the mood for that.”
“Bdubs thought he was you,” Zedaph tells him.
“What?” Etho frowns. “I thought… that’s kind of rude of him.”
“Well,” Danzo says. “You’d best be going, as per agreement.”
“Right,” Etho says. “C’mon, Zed.”
“Coming!” says Zedaph.
They run out into the streets, Obito and Team 7 hot on their heels. Etho glances up at the portal again- it’s on a rooftop. He pulls out his elytra and starts clumsily trying to hook them on.
“You’re not wearing them?!” Zedaph calls.
“I like walking places when I have time!” Etho shouts back. “It’s easier to appreciate buildings from the ground!”
“ETHO!” Bdubs shouts, jumping down from the roof. “I MISSED YOU!”
Etho skids to a stop and stuffs the elytra back into his inventory. “Bdubs! I heard you mistook some ninja for me!”
Bdubs sputters. “Well- you’re a really weird guy, Etho, you know that! It’s hard to tell if you’re an imposter or not because you’re just always suspicious! That’s how you always do it! You shouldn’t be so surprised that it finally backfired.”
“ I knew it wasn’t Etho,” says Zedaph.
“Yeah, well-!” Bdubs shouts, apparently unable to come up with a defense for that. “Very freakin’ funny!”
“Did any other hermits come through?” Etho asks. “The portal’s been open for a while.”
“Oh yeah, loads,” Bdubs says. “They all scattered, though. They’re more interested in exploring this place than finding you. It’s empires all over again. I imagine they’ll get tired of it in a month or so and head on back.”
“Etho didn’t,” Obito says dryly.
“Etho had the external motivator of you guys thinking he was Kakashi,” Bdubs says.
“It was too much fun to resist,” Etho adds.
“Speaking of Kakashi…” Obito glances up.
A man- he looks like Etho, sort of, although he can’t actually see how anyone would mistake them for each other- jumps down. “Wh…”
“He doesn’t even look like me!” Etho wails. “Bdubs, you thought I was this poser?!”
“Hey, Kakashi,” Obito murmurs.
“Obito?” Kakashi whispers. “What?”
“Let’s give them a moment, hm?” Zedaph says quietly, pulling Etho away.
“Oh, yes,” says Bdubs, whipping away a tear. “It’s just- it’s very touching…”
Etho climbs up the side of the building to the portal while Zedaph and Bdubs fly up. Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto follow him.
“I’ll message you guys when I set up a world, m’kay?” Etho tells them.
“Right,” says Sasuke. “I’ll set up the transporter once you have it ready. I remember the instructions.”
“Good,” says Etho.
“While we wait…” Sakura flashes a beaming smile at him. “I’m going to become the deadliest shinobi ever! Everyone will cower before my awesome reputation!”
“I’m sure,” Etho says sincerely.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Naruto admits. “I- I want to be hokage, but I don’t… I don’t know if I want to do it for me, or for some other reason.”
“You don’t need to have it figured out yet,” Zedaph advices him, landing daintily on the rooftop. “You’re pretty little. Give it a few thousand years.”
“Well,” Bdubs says. “Ready to head home? I’ve got a place carved out for you in my monolith, if you’d like.”
“I would like that,” Etho admits. He offers Bdubs his hand; Bdubs blinks at it for a second and then takes it, smiling.
They step through the portal together.
(Zedaph and the rest of the hermits… they’ll come through eventually.)