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Warboss Rearchompa takes a walk

Chapter 2: The Warboss and the Weirdboy

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Would ya 'urry up? I still 'ave a 'ole tribe ta take care of, ya know!"

"Jus' a minute!"

Rearchompa grumbled to himself and kicked a stray pebble. They had stumbled upon lake in one of the canyon's caves, and had stopped by for a drink. However, Deenah used the opportunity to wash her face, so Rearchompa now had to wait as she splashed the water on herself.

He didn't how long they had been walking to meet Bomroz, the mysterious Weirdboy that was supposedly her caretaker. What he did know was that this was the furthest away from camp that he had been in a very long time. From the confident way that she jumped from rock to rock, to the way she seemed to disappear under every nook and cranny, it was clear that she was the Boss of this place. Ironic, considering that she was small enough to fit neatly into his palm.

"'M ready!" Deenah called out. She gathered her belongings that she set aside (knife, herbs, wotzzits) and rushed up to the Ork.

"Wot took ya so long?" grumbled the Warboss.

"Well, 'scuse me if Ah don't want gunk on mah face!" said Deenah. "Besides, with th' way Ah am, Ah need ta see clearly all 'round me so Ah don't get jumped or somethin'."

Rearchompa didn't say anything, only turning around and marching out of the cave.

He took a look at the canyons around him, the gaps that formed in between the large mountains, the way some formations seemed to form patterns, and the occasional bird that flew by. Even if the little git was lying, he would've still gotten his walk. Wasn't exactly relaxing, climbing over large hills and avoiding pitfalls and all that, but was leagues better than having to see the same rusty metal houses every day.

Deenah eventually came out the cave, rushing to his side. "So there really aren't any Girlz, jus' Boyz?" she asked.

Rearchompa gave a negative grunt. "We 'ad plenty o' Orks come from space. 'S far az I knowz, yer da only female greenskin in existence."

Deenah stayed quiet for a moment, seemingly to process what he just said. Her ears lowered a little as she spoke, "Bomroz always tol' me Ah was special. Had no idea Ah was THAT special."

Rearchompa turned to leave. He noticed that, as Deenah followed him, she looked a lot more solemn than before.

He didn't know why, but he felt the urge to change the subject. "Wot'z Bomroz like?"

Deenah somewhat brightened up at the change. "Bomroz? Well, he's whatchamacall.... not all that up there."

Rearchompa snorted. "All Weirdboyz in mah experience 're not all dat up dere."

"Hey! He's all right!" said Deenah indignantly. "He makes th' most delicious squig stew! It's so much better than raw butt!"

"An' does 'e make otha gitz' 'eadz go boom?"

"Well... he did have ta fight a buncha varmints on Deffkoptas once. An' he made their stomachs 'splode, not heads," Deenah shrugged. "When he does feel all antsy, though, he fires on ta some nearby mountains. Sometimes he even makes his own formations!"

Rearchompa suddenly had a brief flash of recognition upon hearing that. Weirdboy making rock formations, why does it sound familiar? he wondered. He figured it was probably nothing, however. All sorts of stuff gets passed around the camp nowadays.

"What's wrong with yer Weirdboyz?" Deenah then asked. "Ah haven't met many besides Bomroz."

The Warboss sighed. "Dey're zoggin' idiots."

"Ya say that 'bout everyone in yer tribe."

"Yeah, but dey'ze idiotz dat regularly get demselvez killed. Dere'z a street brawl? Dey 'ave a chance of 'splodin' an' takin' everyone else with dem. Dey wanna 'elp with sumthin', enhance a Stompa so it don' break an' whatnot? Dey 'splode, Stompa goes on a rampage. We 'ave ta put it down, an' lose several Orkz an' da Stompa in da process."

"... ya sound real calm when talkin' 'bout your minions dyin'," said Deenah. "Thought ya would be more, Ah dunno, upset?"

"Oh, I'm 'pset all right," said Rearchompa. "'Pset dat we lost da Stompa and several fighters fer potentshul invashuns."

"No wonder ya don' like anybody, not when ya don' see yer fellows dyin'," Deenah mused.

"Oi! Gork n' Mork didn' make us ta be sad when sum git bitez da dust!"

"I'm jus' sayin'. It'll open yer mind when ya learn ta care 'bout somebody!"

Rearchompa ignored her teasing and continued walking. Deenah only smirked and scurried ahead of him.

He then had a weird thought. When was the last time I let anyone, besides Boltpuncha, speak like this to me? He didn't. Not Boyz, not Mekz, not Dokz, not Nobz, and especially not Grots. And yet here was one, bantering with him as if he was just as small as she was.

Am I growing soft from the lack of fighting? thought Rearchompa. Nah, I fully wanted to rip her spine out when I first met her, and I'm still gonna do it if she lies to me. But still... He was somewhat ashamed to admit he would miss her if he had to do that. She had a spunk that many of her snively male counterparts lacked. She was confident, wasn't afraid to speak her mind, and always did it with a carefree attitude. He didn't think many Grots who would willingly steal from a Warboss so brazenly. It was something that he found himself begrudgingly respecting.

Maybe he was even starting to-

No. I don't care for her. Not that much. She's just infecting my mind with unorky behavior. I will still chomp her arse off if she dares to lie to me.

 


 

After what felt like hours of mindless walking and trivial conversations, Deenah led Rearchompa onto a cliff overlooking a massive ravine.

"An' here we are!" Deenah said with a flourish.

The Boss took a look at the ravine and its surroundings. It was... odd to say the least. Some locations had massive holes in them, obviously the result of massive explosions. The formations formed at unnatural angles and directions, making it look like random cubes and rectangular prisms were reaching out of the ground. There was one pillar which, against all laws of physics, started out thin and small and gradually got wider and wider as it got taller. Also carved into several stone walls were giant etchings and markings of various sorts. Some of them resembled Orkish faces, most likely visages of Gork and Mork. Others had glyphs carved into them, many of them were the word for "cobra", with one wall even having a complete sentence ("The mushroom eats the bloody cannon." No, he did not know what that meant).

Rearchompa then noticed that an odd tingle run up his spine whenever he looked at any of those odd formations and carvings. It was a sense of excitement, something that made him want to run up to the nearest living thing and punch it. And then it dawned on him: he felt this exact same sensation whenever he was around any of his Weirdboyz.

Orks were all in some way psychic, and fighting brought out psychic energy in a way that no other living species could replicate. Weirdboyz collected that energy and channeled them out into destructive storms and fireballs. That's why every time Rearchompa was around a Weirdboy, he felt the urge to punch him in the face (well, that and annoyance).

Usually, however, the energy was concentrated within the Weirdboy himself, and the explosions he leaves behind wouldn't be impossible to also achieve with a Bommer run. But to leave a psychic resonance behind, and also seemingly make these things with such precision?

"Bomroz likes ta come up here when he's 'pent up'," said Deenah, pulling up two fingers in air quotes. "Ah once saw 'im carvin' those glyphs up there. It was like th' world was a play pen and he was its Boss."

Rearchompa looked at the nonsensical glyphs again. Maybe it was the ridiculous sentence, maybe it was the fact that a Grot was talking to him, but his pride as a Warboss ate away at his unease until he regained his composure.

"Ya said we werez gunna find 'im 'ere. So far I don't see anyone."

"Well, he usually likes popping out at the time ya least expect it."

That made the Ork chuckle. "Right. An' he'z gunna dance like a Panzie while at it too, he iz!"

"Hey! Bomroz can kick yer butt while he's blindfolded! If anythin', y'all will be beggin' for him ta chew yer butt!"

"Oi. Dere's only one Rearchompa in Greenplace, an' dat'z me," said the Warboss semi-seriously. "No one messes wi' me, not even Weirdboyz. ‘SPECIALLY not Weirdboyz. Iz can see an' 'ear one comin' MILEZ from 'ere!"

"Izzat so!?"

In what would be the most shameful moment of his entire life, Gullop Rearchompa jumped up in the air while letting out a very un-Orky shriek.

He angrily turned back towards the source of the noise. He stood face to face with another Ork. A big fellow, the git was almost as big as he was, only seeming shorter due to a slight hunchback. The Ork wore raggedy blue robes adorned with various symbols and letters, and he wore a bowl-shaped helmet with dozens of rods and antenna on it. Both of his protruding front teeth had been cut off, making him look more like an overgrown Grot than a true Ork.

If the psychic energy around the ravine was faint but noticeable, then the energy around him was practically a hurricane.

"Well? Are youz gunna chomp me bum? D'ya want it wi' 'orseradish? Or turnip? I 'ave many turnips back in me hut!"

"Bomroz!" Deenah exclaimed as she rushed towards the Weirdboy, who promptly pulled her into an embrace.

No, that's not just a Weirdboy, Rearchompa thought. To control so much WAAAGH! energy that it still radiates across the place... he must be a Warphead!

It was upon that deduction that Rearchompa suddenly remembered where he first heard the story of the weird rock formations.

It was about two weeks ago, when some of his Boyz had a three-way battle between Ribbreaka's Boyz and some rogue Burna Boyz. At some point their battle took them to what was apparently this very ravine. After which, according to the survivors, a lone Ork came out screaming incoherently and unleashed beams of explosions that would make the gods proud. Many of them were even convinced that it was, in fact, Gork (or Mork) Himself.

And that wasn't just an isolated incident. He then suddenly remembered all the times he's heard or read reports about warbands mysteriously disappearing after crossing the canyon, with them consistently reporting that the troops died due to psychic activity in the region.

It was then Rearchompa had noticed that the Warphead was waving an arm in front of his face. Deenah stood behind him with her arms behind her back.

"Ah, yer still alive! Good! Iz thou' I turned yer brain ta mush by mistake dere."

Rearchompa shook himself, straightened his posture, and put on a serious and stoic expression. "Yer Bomroz."

"Tha's me! 'Less dere'z sum otha Bomroz ou' dere," Bomroz said as looked around conspiratorially. "Iz dere!? Did sum git jus' steal mah name!? Where iz he!?"

Gork, he was one of those Weirdboyz.

"Nah, nah, Iz mean you," said the Warboss. "Name’s Rearchompa. Boss o’ Tribe Rearchompa.”

“So I ‘eard from Deenah,” said Bomroz flippantly. “She’s right, ya know. Youz Bosses all look da same!”

Rearchompa shook off his annoyance. “Dee- Yer Grot stole mah food."

"So she did! Stole yer food! Told me all 'bout it!" said Bomroz as he looked at Deenah affectionately. "Cheeky lil' bugger, ain't she? One time she stole mah jar o' liver, 'ad ta look all ova da place jus' ta find 'er. Not ta menshun-"

"Look, I don' care wot she stole," growled Rearchompa, waving a dismissive arm. "She stole from me! An' 'Cause o' her, I lost all mah meat!"

"It's yer fault, ya dummy!" blurted out Deenah. "Ya didn't close th' pouch when you were runnin' after me."

"I don' care!" snarled Rearchompa. "'Cause o' you, mah walk waz ruined!"

"Well, you-"

"Oi."

When Bomroz said that word, it couldn't have been above a raised voice. Yet somehow, Rearchompa felt compelled to stop. He wasn't sure why; the Weirdboy was about his size, and yet it suddenly felt as if he were a lowly Flyboy again, suddenly thrust into a Big Mek’s center of attention.

Bomroz had a stoic look on his face as he spoke: "Look, both o' ya are angry. Jus' shake 'ands and let it go."

Rearchompa was about to protest, when Bomroz turned to him. The addled git that was previously there was gone, replaced by an uncharacteristically calm demeanor.

"Deenah said yer a Boss, yeah? Doncha 'ave better thingz ta do den chasin' Grotz all day? She only stole a few from yew, and yet ya lost 'em all 'cause ya didn't close yer pouch when ye ran after 'er. Not ta menshun ya could've fallen down a cavern or sumthin', and yer tribe left withou' a leadah. Who's da reel moron 'ere?"

Rearchompa should've felt furious at being lectured at like he was a measly Snotling, but to his surprise, he felt more embarrassed then anything. It pained him to admit it, but Bomroz was right. After all, he did blindly chase after a Grot like he was one of his idiotic soldiers, not the smart leader of a tribe which avoided annihilation because of his cautious policies.

Deenah's lips twitched like she was about to smile, but it quickly evaporated once Bomroz suddenly turned his attention to her.

"Don' fink yew are off da hook, Deenah. Dis is da fiff time ye 'ave stolen stuff from sumone bigga den yew. I like yer kunnin' and all, but I told yaz again an' again tha' I'm worried 'bout ya. Ya coud've hurt yerself, or worse."

Deenah pouted for a bit, before looking down with a sullen expression.

"Good. Glad ya both understand," said Bomroz, as he then stood aside. "Now shake 'ands."

Rearchompa saw Deenah approach him and stick out her open palm. Rearchompa then noticed just how comically small her hand was compared to his. When he handled Grots, it was usually as live ammunition during battle, but now?

Rearchompa looked back at Bomroz, suddenly remembering that Weirdboyz had the tendency to pop nearby heads open, not just theirs. And Bomroz was a Warphead!

He turned back to Deenah, and as gently as he ever could took her hand by two of his fingers. They shook lightly.

"Sorry fer stealin' yer meat," said Deenah with a low voice.

"Sorry fer chasin' ya," said Rearchompa equally lowly.

They let go and stared at each other for a good second. It was then Bomroz spoke up.

"Well, dat'z dat! Both shook, ya did! Now ya feel bettah?"

When neither of them answered, Bomroz simply chuckled.

"Ah! Iz know wot'll REELY make ya feel bettah! Come! Both yaz hungry, I 'ave lotz a food in me hut, I do!"

He then marched off to the right side of the ravine.

Rearchompa looked at Deenah. "How doz he do dat? Switch like a light bulb?"

Deenah looked at him with a small smile. "He just does."

 


 

After walking through various paths through the mountainous terrain, Rearchompa found himself staring at a wall facing the ravine. Embedded into it was a rickety door made from lumber. Its handle was suspiciously round, not jagged and uneven like various other door handles throughout the camp. An obtuse trapezoid shaped glass window was located to the door’s right side.

”We’z home, we are!” said Bomroz with a jolly expression. Deenah immediately rushed towards the door and leapt at the door handle. She missed and hit the door with her head.

”Darnit! Almost had it!” she pouted while rubbing her head.

”Practize makes perfect, it does!” chuckled Bomroz. “When Iz tried ta carve da letterz in da rock fer da first time, I destroyed entire foundationz!”

He opened the door and they all walked inside (Rearchompa had to take off his helmet; the horns prevented him from walking through). The inside of the house was rather small; there was a fireplace with a cauldron, a table with some stools, dry vegetables that were hung over the roof, massive shelves with labeled jars the size of a human torso on them, and a pelt of some animal that served as a bed, with a much smaller pelt next to it.

Deenah was the first to enter inside. She took off all her belongings and set them aside on a corner, before plopping down on the smaller pelt with a sigh.

"Oi, don' jes' stand dere! C'mon, get comfortable!" said Bomroz 

Rearchompa stood for a full second before managing to somewhat relax.

"'Ow didja make dis 'ole place?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Well, whenz I firs' got 'ere, I slept in one o' da caves", replied Bomroz as he rummaged through the jars. "Den, when I found sum gitz diggin' a 'ole in one o' da wallz. Was 'bout ta scare 'em off like I usually do, den Iz haz an idea! Wot if dey made me a houze?"

The Warboss raised an eyebrow. "And 'ow did dey-?"

"I said I'd turn dere insides ou' if dey said no. An' dat I wou' know if dey tried ta do anyfink funny."

Ah, that made sense.

"So deyz got me sum stuff from back at dere camp. Glass windo's, a cauldron wi' a fireplace, it'z all gud! An' I lived 'ere fer a long time, I did! Now where did I put da-?"

Bomroz started taking out the jars one by one, seemingly looking for something specific. He was apparently so engrossed in looking, that he didn't even notice Deenah climb up to a different shelf and stand next to a jar.

"Whacha lookin' fer, Bomroz?"

"Can't find me vinegar! I knowz I just go' a new batch o' it!"

"Ya mean th' vinegar that's right over here?"

She smugly pointed next to the jar next to her. It was filled with mysterious liquid with the label "vinegar" written crudely on it.

Bomroz turned to her direction in surprise. He then let out a good-natured chuckle and rubbed Deenah's head. She looked very pleased by this gesture.

"Ah, 'ow did I evah live withou' you?" he said. He grabbed the vinegar jar and opened it, taking in a deep sniff. "Fresh an' ready!"

Suddenly, as Bomroz finished preparing the fire for the cauldron, Rearchompa remembered a very important question he wanted to ask Bomroz.

"Oi, speakin' o' Deenah, 'ow did she come ta be?" he asked as Bomroz poured the vinegar in the cauldron. "Why iz she a she? "Ow come-"

"Ah-ah! I'm cookin'! No more kwestshuns!" shouted Bomroz, holding up a finger. "'Less dey are related ta food!"

Rearchompa crossed his arms, grumbling to himself. He could see Deenah giggling a bit at his expense. Smarmy git.

He was rather annoyed that these two were in the presence of a clearly charge and in charge Warboss, and they treated him as if he were just any other stupid Boy.

Yet the more he dwelt on it, he realized that, deep down, he was sort of glad at the change. He had been yelling at and commanding those smaller that him for so long, that he was glad that there were Orks out there who didn't treat him as a big, scary Boss or an obstacle for power. He remembered the feeling he had when he first began his walk, how he felt the worries and responsibilities and status that came with being a Boss fade away from him, and how he simply became a big Ork exploring the world around him. He assumed those same principles applied here. In this little corner of the world, far isolated from the rest of Orkish society, there were simply greenskins. No Orks, no Grots, no Boyz, no Bossez, just them and the world around them. The fact that they were different sizes was simply a matter of fact than indication of status and position.

Mork, when did he get so philosophical?

 


 

Rearchompa found himself putting away his helmet and Klaw into a corner near the door. At some point, he got talked into helping Bomroz with his cooking, and a few minutes were spent with him and Deenah getting various jars from the shelves and giving them to the Weirdboy, as well as learning to mix plants and fruit into paste.

After that, Bomroz got a few bowls filled them with the food. Today's special: innards and entrails from various different animals boiled in vinegar, served with a sauce made from roots, fruits, and other vegetables and a cold grass smoothie.

Everyone sat down on the chairs ready to eat. After quickly re-learning how to use spoons (Bomroz insisted they use spoons, for some reason), Rearchompa took the first bite. As he chewed slowly, something that he seldom did back home, he saw Bomroz and Deenah look at him expectantly.

"Well, 'ow woz it?" asked Bomroz. "Did I boil da liver too much? Did I add the wrong amount of intestine? Did I-"

"Maybe he's jus' so overwhelmed by its goodness that he can't talk!" chirped Deenah cheekily.

The Warboss swallowed the meat. Deenah was right: it was delicious. But for the sake of his pride, he maintained a neutral expression.

"Well, it's bettah den wot my cooks make," he said diplomatically.

Bomroz laughed. "So youz did like it! No needz ta hide it! Ya young 'unz 're so stubborn abou' everyfink!"

Rearchompa raised an eyebrow. "Young 'unz?"

"Iz an old Ork, ya kno'. Been here 'fore da 'Nidz came."

Really? Rearchompa didn't know many Orks who lived before the Tyranid invasion and were still alive. He knew they existed, there was obviously the great shaman Ug Magh Dogdook, who was one of the original crew members of the Zogging Squiggoth, the ship that brought Orks to Greenplace. But they were a really rare sight indeed, not helped by the Orkish penchant of dying violently.

"'M not dat young," he then said, slurping some more broth. "I wuz born and fough' in da "Nid war."

"Too young!" scoffed Bomroz, eating a liver.

"Oh yeah? ‘Owz old 're ya really?" smirked Rearchompa, baring his tusks in challenge.

Long story short, that is how they all got caught up swapping stories and telling each other about their past.

Bomroz was born about two centuries before the war to the Kobra Trappahs, a tribe of Wildboyz. His time in the tribe lasted only a year before they were conquered by, to Rearchompa's surprise, the now legendary Warboss Fulgak Umbrulla. Umbrulla apparently saw potential in him, so Bomroz served as a member of his court and got a front row view of the Boss' various achievements, from the Battle of the Three Teef, to the slaying of the Yellow Squiggoth, to the duel with Warboss Beera Hidepunctcha that resulted in both of their deaths.

(Bomroz didn't have nice things to say about Umbrulla. "'Is breath smelled.")

After Umbrulla's demise, Bomroz spent his decades getting passed around by various Bosses. Some sold him because they found him too annoying, others died and he got inherited by the next Boss who took the throne. The cycle continued until the Tyranid war, in which he almost died due to the sheer amount of WAAAGH! energy caused. After the war was over, he fled during the confusion into the canyons, and has lived here ever since.

The story led to Rearchompa sharing some of his own anecdotes. His youth as a Flyboy, the various battles he fought during the war, his loss of Speed Freekisms after the war, his rise to power under Redtoof, and his subsequent reign as Warboss. Bomroz and Deenah both laughed, ooh'ed, asked questions, and made snarky comments during his storytelling. It was a feeling unlike any that Rearchompa has experienced before. It was like having two Boltpunchas to confide in. The cozy cave and the nice food only added to that feeling. It felt very nice.

Then, the topic turned towards Deenah.

"Why'z she a she?" Rearchompa finally asked.

Bomroz gave him an odd look for a second before putting on a large smile on his face. "Why wouldn't she be? Iz mean, all sortz o' Orks n' Grotz come outta da ground, why wouldn't one be a female?"

Deenah giggled. Rearchompa only felt really annoyed. "Don't zog wi' me. I knowz fer a fact dat greenskinz don' come in femalez. What makez 'er different?"

"What makez 'er different iz dat she makez an ol' Ork like me smile," said Bomroz cheekily.

"Translation: He don't know," added Deenah. Bomroz gave her a playful flick on the head.

The Warboss almost wanted to shout in anger, but if he were honest with himself, he didn't have the energy at this point. Sharing stories with them and getting to know them better made him a lot less willing to shout at them for some reason, so he sighed in defeat and gulped down his smoothie. 

"But if I were a guessin' Ork, and I am," Bomroz then blurted out, "den I would sayz- well- ya know 'ow Orks 're made, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, Iz fink dat one day, after krumpin' sum gitz, da sporez dey released got all weird with me magic floatin' 'bout. So dey must've found a wet surface in da ravine, and out popped out Deenah."

Rearchompa turned to the Grot with an inquisitive look. Her ears deflated somewhat as she sucked on an entrail.

"Mah earliest memories were all dark. Couldn't see nothin'," she said uncharacteristically solemnly. "Ah remember jes' runnin' without any particular direction, 'till I saw a light, ran towards it, an' saw Bomroz destroyin' the place."

"I waz lettin' ou' spare WAAAGH! energy, carvin' da mountains, when I saw 'er. Thought she waz another git who wanted ta mess with me, so I waz ready ta vaporize 'er," Bomroz let out a grim chuckle. "Iz can only imagine wot it waz like ta be 'er."

"Zoggin' terrifying." murmured Deenah.

"Den, Iz noticed 'er psykik emishuns were off," said Bomroz. "Soz I stopped, had ta take a long time ta convince 'er I wasn't gunna 'urt 'er-"

"Well, in mah defence, ya did want ta kill me a few seconds earlier!"

"-den I found ou' dat she waz a she," finished Bomroz. He scartched his head. "Truthfully, Iz didn' know wot ta do wi' her at first, so fer da time I let 'er inside me house. Gave 'er food, sheltah, all dat. Wasn't plannin' on 'er stayin' wi' me forevah."

He then moved his chair closer to Deenah. He wrapped his hand around her small body and held her close. The Grot relaxed at the gesture.

"Now," he said with a smile. "Now I don' know wot I wou' do withou' 'er."

Rearchompa thought back to when first saw Deenah, and how the first thing to come to his mind upon seeing her was "kill".

"Y- ya know I tried ta... kill 'er, right?"

"Bah!" said Bomroz, waving an arm as he let go of Deenah. "Ya didn'. Datz all dat matterz. Pluz, ya fergave 'er, so even bettah!"

"But, wot if I did kill 'er?" said the Warboss with a concerned look.

"Ya wouldn' 'ave. Deenah'z too smart ta get krumped like dat!"

"But wot if I did?" repeated Rearchompa.

Bomroz smile then went away. In its place was a scowl that was so angry, it would've made a squiggoth run away. Rearchompa then felt his head getting crushed by something, even though his helmet was off and all around him was thin air. When he started showing visible pain, Deenah tugged Bomroz arm and asked for him to stop. The pressure on Rearchompa's head slowly went away. He looked at the Weirdboy. Though he was still angry, it wasn't the death glare from before.

"Jus' a taste o' wot I could do," he growled. Rearchompa gulped and tried to focus back on his food, what little there was in the plate at least.

A full minute of awkward silence followed, before Deenah suddenly chimed in. "Y-y'all wanna hear 'bout th' time Ah outran a pack o' squigs?"

Bomroz scowl dropped and was replaced by his usual smile. "Oh, now datz a good story, it is!"

And thus, the earlier tension was forgotten as Deenah started her turn of sharing stories to the table, from her outsmarting Noselobba back when he was still alive (she was really happy to hear what Rearchompa did to him), to her exploration of the canyons, to various species of mushrooms she collected for Bomroz. Rearchompa was only thankful that she managed to bring back the previous merry atmosphere, because, by the gods, Bomroz's threat was as clear as day to him.

 


 

The meal was finally finished, and Bomroz was putting away the dishes into the wash basin (weird that he even had a wash basin, but Bomroz was very peculiar about keeping his house clean). Rearchompa looked through the window to see that the sun was starting to set.

It was odd how a simple walk outside camp walls turned into a whole adventure. He didn't ask for it. All he wanted to do was just spend time out in the wild and maybe take a nap, but instead he found himself far out into the canyons, eating with a Weirdboy and his Grot.

But then, he looked back to his new acquaintances. Deenah, with her feisty attitude and cheery demeanor, and Bomroz, the addled Ork who had been around for a very long time. 

He wanted to spend more time with them. He wanted to eat Bomroz's food and hang out with Deenah in the canyons. Maybe even introduce them to Boltpuncha. Gork, he could even see the both of them playing pranks on the Meganobs. Wouldn't that be a good way to mess with them!

"It's time fer ya ta go?" he heard Deenah ask behind him.

"Yeah," mumbled Rearchompa. "Can't stay longah: me Boyz are wonderin' where I'd get off ta."

"Oh, it's alright," chirped Bomroz, slapping the Boss on the shoulder, a gesture that for some reason didn't instill rage in the Ork. "Youz a busy Boss, ya need ta do Bossly thingz, yeah? Like countin' da Snotlingz in dere pen, makin' sure dey don' get out an' cause a ruckuz, or havin' an eatin' race ta see who can eat a squig da fastest."

Rearchompa rolled his eyes at the Weirdboy and put his hand on the other's shoulder, a gesture that he hadn't remembered doing since hanging out with his old Fly-mates.

"Thankz," he said simply. "I liked dis."

"Ehh, no problem," shrugged Bomroz. "It waz nice ta have someone else ta talk to fer a change."

Rearchompa looked at Deenah, then at Bomroz again. Yes, he thought, I want to see them again. But would they? It felt a bit silly asking them for permission like he was a pathetic underling begging his Boss for mercy, especially considering that he WAS the Boss now, but...

"Oi, 'fore I go," he said as the others turned to him. "I'z... I'z waz wonderin' if I... if I can come back to this place again..."

Bomroz looked at him for a full second, before letting out a throaty chuckle. Before Rearchompa could ask himself if this meant no, the Weirdboy spoke up.

""Course you can come back!" exclaimed Bomroz. "Why wouldn'cha? We'ze all matez 'ere, innit?"

Gullop Rearchompa smiled. It was a gentle, earnest smile, one that didn't grace his features all that often. His face felt a bit weird after that, if he were being honest.

"I guess I'll find a day I can visit you lot," he said softly.

"Ah mean, we can visit you if you like!" exclaimed Deenah. "I can see what y'all 're up to with that submarine o' yours!"

"Trust me, it ain't finishin' any time soon!" said the Warboss, waving his hand.

Bomroz only sorted out the dishes in a cupboard. "Well, in any case, ya know where ta look fer us. Next time, I'll preparez a soup made outta dis cactus I found wayz back in da day. Deenah, show 'im back 'ome!"

Deenah nodded and sprinted out the door. Rearchompa put on his gear, but before he left, he turned around to Bomroz.

"Wait," he said. "Beforez I go, Iz jus' wanna ask ya 'bout da glyphs. Wot do dey mean?"

Bomroz only clasped his hands together. "Well," he said, "Mostly Iz waz jus' practicin' out me blasts 'ere, yeah? I chose da kobras 'cause... well," he then looked a bit wistful. "I still missez me ol' tribe, ya know? Gotta remember dem somehow."

Rearchompa nodded in understanding. "An' wha' 'bout: 'da mushroom eatz da bloody kannon?'"

"Oh, dat!" said Bomroz, lowering his voice, "dat is a metafor fer me life, 'ow no mattah 'ow low thingz get fer me, Iz always come ou' on top."

"Really?"

"Nah," blurted out Bomroz, shrugging his shoulders. "Da letters were jus' close ta each otha', is all. Or did I actually 'ave a meaning behind dem. Don' remembah..."

Rearchompa rolled his eyes, and said his goodbyes to the Weirdboy. He hurried to Deenah, who was waiting for him by the ravine. As they blabbered on about this and that on their way home, Rearchompa hoped that Goreeye didn't ruin the camp too much while he was gone. He couldn't show his new friends a smoking crater, after all.

Notes:

This took way too long, didn't it?

Notes:

Deenah's accent is an attempt at a Southern accent. I originally wanted her to have a New York accent, but after some deciding, I settled on this one.

Apologies to any Southerners reading this, lol.

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