Chapter Text
Twenty-three hours later, after Shayne and Kochanski have both slept off their jailbreak and their dimension jump has been made, they and Rimmer stand against one of the midsection walls, watching the light bee hover in midair, pixels of light swirling around it, coalescing into a human form. According to the computer, they are back in the dimension Kochanski started from; as Kochanski and Shayne are about to leave the Wildfire, Sasha has decided to take her promised hologrammatic body.
'How does it come up with a body for her?' Kochanski wonders.
'Computer personalities are taken from specific people. With the right programming -- which these light bees evidently have -- the body of that person can be reconstructed along with the personality. That's how they make holograms; it's just another step to do it with a computer,' Rimmer says.
'If anyone knows anything about doing it with computers, it's you,' Kochanski says sweetly.
'Look,' Shayne says, just in time to prevent Rimmer from figuring out Kochanski's meaning. The hologram has almost finished forming. A beige Space Corps uniform clothes a body a few inches taller than Kochanski's. The badge of rank reads Computer, with Sasha on the nametag. Sasha's familiar head is just resolving into being above the uniform. Her eyes are closed and she stands straight-backed with her hands by her sides.
'Sasha?' Kochanski and Rimmer ask at the same time.
Sasha's eyes open. 'God, how do you people manage to stand up?' she asks, wobbling a little.
'You don't know how to stand up?' Kochanski puts an arm around her waist.
'I haven't really had much experience of it now, have I?' Sasha tries taking a few steps. 'Not bad.'
'Not even in the body your personality was recorded from?' Rimmer asks. 'You must have had a real body at some point.'
'As far as I'm concerned, my real body is Wildfire.' Sasha takes another step and bends to peer through the crawlspace into the cockpit. 'I feel like I'm in two bodies at once. I'm conscious of this body... conscious in this body... but at the same time I can feel Wildfire like I always could, all the circuits and everything else.'
'Weird shit,' Shayne says.
'I guess you'll get used to it,' Kochanski says. 'Holly, on the other Red Dwarf, said that she did.'
'So I noticed,' Rimmer says. 'What with the baby and all.'
'It's gettin' crowded in here,' Shayne hints. 'An' I'd like t' see my new home.' She drops onto one of the mattresses and stretches out. 'How far away are we?'
'Not more than half an hour,' Sasha says. 'I programmed the jump so that we wouldn't come out of hyperspace too close to them. That can cause problems.'
'No kidding,' Rimmer mutters, evidently remembering something he refuses to reveal to the others. He and Sasha go into the cockpit, while Kochanski drags out a suitcase from the storeroom.
'So... who else is on th' ship ya takin' me to?' Shayne asks. 'Remind me.'
'This dimension's version of JayVee, Lister and the Cat, an alternate version of this dimension's Rimmer, and JayVee and the Cat's twin babies, Liam and Leah. Oh, and this dimension's version of Kryten,' Kochanski adds.
Shayne shakes her head. 'I don' know how ya keep track o' all these dimensions. I've never been t' another dimension before.'
'You're in one now,' Kochanski points out.
'Yeah, but I'm gonna have t' see it t' believe it. What's out there but more stars, an' nobody can ever tell stars apart, 'less they're astronomers.' Shayne crosses her legs at the ankle. 'I ain't sayin' I'm not grateful for ya gettin' me outta there, but I also gotta say that this is a bit fuckin' weird.'
Kochanski's skin starts to feel the way it did when their cyberschool class went on a skiing trip for physical education and they were transported to a simulated snowy paradise, the temperature in their cybercubicles dropped without warning to freezing just for a moment to show them how it felt. 'Don't... don't you want to come with me?'
Shayne sighs. 'Kris, I can see how ya feel about me, but remember, I ain't the girl ya used t' be with. I'm different. An' while I'm grateful to ya f' savin' me, that don' mean I'm gonna jump straight inta bed with ya.'
'That's not all I want, Shayne. That's not the only reason I saved you. I saved you because you needed saving, because if your plan went ahead you would have failed and probably ended up dead. Your JayVee told me that she found tapes from the women's showers in Ackerman's office one day. You were the main focus of those tapes. If you hadn't died in the attempted escape, I have the feeling Ackerman would've stepped up his interest in you.' Kochanski sits down, leaning against her suitcase. 'I didn't just save you from the Brig for your sake, but on the other hand, it wasn't just because I thought you'd make a good fuckbuddy.'
Shayne hisses between her teeth. 'Don' even insinuate that. I ain't anyone's toy.'
'And I don't want you to be.' Kochanski briefly covers her face with her hands. 'I realised last night, when I was trying to get to sleep, that I've completely screwed everything up.'
'Ya what?'
'I did this all wrong,' Kochanski says. 'I should never have left home and come looking for an alternate version of my girlfriend, it was pathetic and insane. I should've accepted that she was dead and I would never find her again. All the other dimensions out there exist because the people in them are different. There's no perfect copy of my Shayne waiting for me to find her. I screwed up, and I've dragged you away from your... your revolution, and why? Because I'm selfish and stupid.' She lowers her head and closes her eyes. 'I'm sorry, Kerry. I have done this all for myself.'
A light touch on her shoulder makes her lift her head and open her eyes.
'Ya did what ya did f' whatever reasons were right at th' time,' Shayne says, kneeling beside her. 'I think ya had t' do all this, all th' dimension jumpin', t' realise what ya just told me.' She pauses. 'Ya right, there ain't a perfect copy of ya girlfriend anywhere. Ya ain't gonna find her exactly th' same. But give it time, an' ya never know what might happen.' She kisses Kochanski's forehead softly. 'Just give it time.'
'We're within sight range of Starbug. Open radio contact?' Sasha calls from the cockpit. Shayne pulls back from Kochanski, who sighs and gets up.
'Yes, Sash. Is there room for me in there?'
'We can make room,' Sasha says. There's an outraged yelp from her and a giggle from Rimmer as Kochanski starts into the crawlway.
'Kris?'
'Yes?'
'Don' call me Kerry.' There's a hint of a laugh in Shayne's voice, though.
Communications established, they begin the final approach to Starbug. From the outside the entrance to the landing bay looks tiny and Kochanski wonders how they're ever going to fit Wildfire into it. The black opening grows larger as they near it, though, and the landing lights around it wink on and off like lights on a Christmas tree; fitting, since according to Sasha, it's December twenty-fifth today. Rimmer pilots Wildfire expertly into the landing area, setting it down as neatly as any expert in the art of flying spaceships.
'Aren't you coming in with us?' Kochanski asks when Rimmer makes no move to unstrap himself.
'No. To be honest, I don't know if I could stand to see Dave with another version of me,' Rimmer says in his Ace voice.
Sasha shakes her head. 'Ace, you're hopeless.'
'True.' Rimmer leans over enough to kiss Kochanski's cheek in farewell. 'Good luck,' he whispers.
'Thank you for everything,' Kochanski says. She throws her arms around Sasha, as much as that's possible in the cramped space. 'Bye, Sash. Don't exhaust our hero too much.'
'I will,' Sasha says. 'Oh! I meant I won't, of course.' She's winking at Kochanski so much it looks like she's got a tic. Kochanski laughs and backs out of the cockpit. The sound of the engine is much louder with the midsection door open. Shayne is waiting with the suitcase, looking a little apprehensive but eager. Kochanski picks the suitcase up and gives Wildfire a friendly pat goodbye.
'We'll have to hurry,' she says. 'With the bay doors open we've got to get into the main part of the ship without being sucked out by the vacuum.'
'An' here I thought you'd brought me t' a safe place,' Shayne comments wryly. She moves to the top of the landing ramp. 'Over t' th' airlock?'
'Yes. Go!' Shayne takes off at a run; Kochanski follows, dragging the suitcase with her, grateful that the air pressure has equalised somewhat and they aren't actively being sucked out into the black oblivion of space. She hears Wildfire's engine whine move up an octave as she reaches the airlock and puts her hand on the wheel. Looking back, she sees Rimmer and Sasha wave out of the front shield as the ship's antigrav boosters kick in and it lifts off the floor. She never had occasion to use the reverse thrusters herself, but apparently Wildfire has them, as Rimmer makes the ship perform a fancy backwards takeoff.
Shayne is yelling something over the roar of the engines.
'What?'
'Shouldn' we stop sightseein' an' get movin'?'
Kochanski spins the release wheel and they step into the airlock. Peering through the tiny window set into it, she can see Wildfire disappearing out of the landing bay as the door begins to iris closed behind it. She waves, a little flutter of her fingers, and then turns to follow Shayne, who is already opening the other side of the airlock.
The first thing Kochanski notices is how much bigger the twins are. Leah is so pleased to see her that she throws up all over her and necessitates another clothing change. Kochanski's sort of happy to leave the group and go upstairs to her sleeping quarters, though; she privately wants to see if Shayne can fit in with them without assistance. The burst of laughter from downstairs just as she reaches her room seems to indicate that all is going well.
She voice-accesses her door, opening it and stepping into her room.
There's a slight sheen of dust everywhere, but it looks like Kryten's done some dusting recently. Everything is where she left it, except for the mess of clothes she remembers leaving out when she was packing to leave on Wildfire; they've been put back in the wardrobe. The bed is still in 'double-bed mode', as Kryten calls it, the pillows plumped, the blankets turned down and inviting. The only thing that is missing is her and Shayne in it. She hesitates a moment, then leaves the bed as it is. Shayne probably won't want to share, but one of them can take the spare single bunk that's on the opposite wall. Kochanski changes her sick-sodden shirt, rinsing milky spit out of her hair, and heads back downstairs.
She pauses halfway down just to look.
The others have gathered around the scanner table, where Kryten is dishing up Christmas dinner. JayVee is trying to persuade Liam not to throw his carrot on the floor, but Liam is intent on proving that gravity still works even in outer space. Rimmer is feeding Lister a spoonful of peas. The Cat is openly leering at JayVee's cleavage. It looks as if nothing's changed. Kochanski hurries down the last few steps and circumnavigates the table and Kryten to get to the last empty seat, which is next to Shayne. Shayne looks up and gives her a grin as Kochanski sits down.
'Th' clean look suits ya.'
'Thanks. The not-a-crazed-convict look suits you.'
'Ladies, gentlemen and Rimmer,' Lister says, tapping his champagne glass (which contains beer) with his fork and ignoring Rimmer's indignant glare, 'merry Christmas.'
'Merry Christmas!' everyone choruses.
'This year, Christmas presents have not been abundant, cos of the lack of derelicts with shopping malls on board,' Lister continues. 'However, I think it's fair to say that having Kris back with us is the best present we could get.'
There's a general murmur of affirmation, and an enthusiastic 'Aaaa!' from the twins.
'What I want to know, Kris,' Lister says, 'is whether you succeeded in what you set out to do.'
Kochanski looks down at her plate. 'No,' she says. 'I didn't.' She pauses, but not long enough for anyone else to interject. 'I didn't succeed, because I set out to do the impossible. I went looking for someone who didn't exist, an exact copy of the woman I loved, and there was no way I could find her without learning to resurrect the dead. But I did come home with a new member for our crew, a new friend, and a whole lot of learning.' She looks up again. Everyone is looking at her and nodding understandingly, except the twins, who are having a food fight while their mother is ignoring them -- and Shayne, who is leaning back in her chair and giving Kochanski that same steady look that Kochanski remembers means that Shayne is taking in every word she says. 'I didn't find my Shayne, but I found a Shayne, and I stopped kidding myself that I'd ever be able to alter the past.'
'Well said,' JayVee says.
'Aaaa!' Liam agrees.
'An' I'm happy t' be outta th' Brig an' here with ya, Kris,' Shayne says. 'I feel like I know ya all already, an' anythin's gotta be better than havin' Ackerman perve on me in th' shower.'
'So, if we're ready to carve the turkey...' Kryten pauses.
'I think there's one last thing,' Rimmer says.
'What?' Kochanski asks, aware that everyone's looking at her again.
'Look up,' Lister says.
Kochanski looks up, slowly, not entirely certain what to expect. Dangling on a string from the ceiling, swaying slightly, and almost certainly tied there only minutes earlier, is a bunch of plastic mistletoe. She looks at Shayne, who shrugs, grins, and leans in close.
'This was Dave's idea, right?' Kochanski whispers.
'Maybe.' Shayne shrugs again. 'Like I said t' ya on Wildfire, ya gotta give it time.' She leans closer still, the tip of her nose brushing the tip of Kochanski's nose. 'I didn' say how much time....'