Chapter Text
Damien rested his cheek on the warm window as his mom drove him and Cassie to school, the two too tired to even attempt to ride over. Cassie was dozing off against his shoulder, evidently tired from last night. They didn't do anything truly interesting, but they stayed up till the early hours of the morning trying to finish a game of monopoly, falling asleep on the board instead. Now Damien's shoulder hurt from sleeping on it funny, but he didn't mind too much. After all, it's not like he'd do anything interesting today.
Cassie stirred, throwing her head back against the seat and groaning. Damien made a small noise to acknowledge the sentiment, not wanting to nod in fear of moving his face just enough that he lost his perfect spot up against the window.
"We should not have tried to finish that monopoly game." Cassie groaned, trying to fill the awkward silence in the car.
"Yeah, I won anyways, so." Damien muttered, sacrificing his perfect spot in order to tease his friend.
"First off, you were no where close to winning, second off, we didn't even finish the game." Cassie rolled her eyes and punched Damien in the shoulder lightly. He chuckled. "You wish."
They fell back into a pattern of playful banter while they drove, hardly noticing when they arrived. They went their seprate ways when they got into the school, Cassie going to get ready for class, and Damien going to his first post, even though he was probably going to be alone and end up smoking in the bathroom again.
And he was right, unfortunately.
He tried to push the annoyance from his mind, pushing the door to the bathroom open, grabbing a cigarette out of his box and taking up refuge in the freshly cleaned handicap stall. He lit up his cigarette and took a deep drag, breathing the smoke out through his nose angrily.
He didn't want to be honest, but Stevie not talking to him made him more than hurt, it made him angry. But it wasn't the angry he felt before, where he wanted to strangle the smaller boy for breathing in his direction, but a new one, where he wanted to yell at him until he told him why he was avoiding him, but not to harm him at all. Well, maybe harm him a little.
He took another drag to avoid the thought.
Someone slammed the door open making Damien jump, turning on the sink and mumbling incomprehensible things to themself. All he could make out was "I need a smoke," before whoever it was shut off the sink and stormed out, still mumbling to themself.
Damien just pulled another puff out of his cigarette, not paying much attention to the interaction, trying to cope in his own way. Naturally, he only got a few minutes of peace before he was interrupted again, Cindy knocking on the stall door and stomping her feet when he didn't answer immediately.
"Cindy, what do you want, I'm bus- what are you even doing in the boys restroom anyways?"
"I lost my knife." She pouted, clearly trying to win him over by acting cute. It was not going to work.
"Tough luck Cindy, now get out of the mens bathtoom." He held his cigarette between his lips as to not burn his cousin when he went to pick her up, ignoring her thrashing and complaints. He carried her out the door to the front lawn where the kids waited for school to start, placing her on the ground and making sure she knew that he'd be telling her mom. He really didn't have the patience for her bullshit today.
Damien dragged his feet across the floor back to the nearest bathroom, pulling on the door, only for it to not budge. Of course someone locked it. Why could he ever have a moment to himself?
He leaned up against the door and fished out a cig, leaving just one in the box. God, and just when he thought the day couldn't get any worse.
He focused on the fun that he had with Cassie last night, trying to avoid the variety of angry thoughts entering his head. If he tried hard enough, he could blame it all on the lack of sleep. The bell rang and he walked away from the door in a way that felt like tearing two melted plastic soldiers apart.
Stevie stood in the hall, hands in a weird position where he was grabbing the back of his hand, digging his nails into his palm.
"Watch out Stevie, ur gonna end up bleeding if you keep that up." Damien watched intently as Stevies eyes flicked down to the cigarette still in his hand and scowled, glaring a silent "fuck off" as his fingers dug even further into his palm. It made Damien wince in, well, he didn't quite know. Pain and annoyance would be the best words to describe it.
Stevie grabbed the lit cigarette from Damiens hand and took a deep drag, putting it out on his arm before stomping it out, his face blank. Damien stood still, nothing but shock in his body. That was such a un-Stevie like thing to do, on so, so many levels. Stevie just glared at him before kids started filling the hallways, and they had to do one of their few jobs.
After they coralled the students into their classrooms, the two leaned against the wall in silence, like they had for the past few weeks.
It was the fucking worst.
Damien wished he at least knew what he did to make Stevie act like this, to act so cold towards him, and only him. He talked to kids and the teachers like he always did, with authority or respect, but he didn't even bother to correct Damien when he called him Stevenson anymore.
"Why are you ignoring me now?" Damien found himself blurting out before he could stop himself. He cringed a little, but when he saw Stevies lack of reaction, he continued.
"I mean like, I know we never really got along, but I thought we were getting better, you know? Like, I don't fucking know, maybe the principal's plan actually worked or something." Stevie continued to stand with his arms crossed and gaze set foward. Damien felt his patience dwindling.
"I actually started to like you, you know. I mean hell, I even-" Stevies eyes widened before he cut him off. "Shut up. If I talk to you, then I'm-"
"You're gonna what? What could be so bad that you refuse to talk to me?"
"I have a-! oh."
The unnamed kid (Daniel? Liam?), stood in the hallway, staring at the two with a small pass in his hands.
"Uh, hey kid. You got a pass?" Damien found the words tumbling from his mouth akwardly, filling the silence if Stevie wouldn't. The kid nodded and held out his pass, giving the two a undecipherable look before they let him pass.
"That kid gives me the creeps." Stevie said softly, the first words he had said to the other boy without being talked to first. He agreed with a simple "mhm" before the bell rang and it was time for them to move, previous conversation not abandoned, but pushed to the side for the moment.
Stevie was going to shoot himself. Rip out his tounge, cut off his arm, and shoot himself.
Okay, maybe not, but still. He couldn't believe that he almost told him, and on the stupid, small hope that he may like him back.
Like that would ever happen, his crush on him already felt like it should never have been. But, to be fair, so did everything after he met Damien, whether that be because he met him, or because of the crazy, phycopathic kids. It was definitely the latter, but his brain liked to think it was the former.
He ground his heel into the concrete, trying to dig a hole for all the involuntary energy he had from their conversation before to dwell in, body much too jittery for his liking, stomach filled with butterflies that flew around when the other monitor looked at him.
The two stood at outside of the cafeteria, as far away as Stevie could get them. Kids were laughing in the cafeteria and Stevie felt some sympathy for the lunch staff, having to deal with the rowdy kids inside. A couple of kids had left to use the restroom but not many, including Billy, who hadn't come back yet. But knowing what he did after that Tuesday, he wasn't too worried.
Cassie stepped out of the cafeteria and leaned against the door inbetween the two hall monitors. Stevie didn't know her to well, but her and Damien were good friends, evident by the look she gave him and his eye roll in response, making her snicker. She flashed a smile at Stevie before starting to talk to the two of them.
"So the kids are gonna be in the gym today, but you guys won't have anything to worry about, mom's off somewhere and we all know that theres no stopping those little shits when they have a goal." The two monitors nodded, and Stevie knew they likely looked like two war veterans in that moment. Cassie went to go back into the cafeteria and winked at Damien, making his eyebrows knit together in a way that Stevie hadn't seen before. He was transfixed.
"Did she even say why recess is in the gym?" Damiens rough voice cut through Stevies gaze and grounded him again, shaking his head and turning away. He grabbed his wrist and started to massage it unconsciously, catching Damiens gaze and starting to make cogs turn in what Stevie liked to assume was a pea sized brain.
Damien turned on his heels and walked towards the doors that led to the stormy outside, glancing back at Stevie as if he expected him to come, and god damn it, he may try hate to the fucker, but that gaze could make him melt. So, he followed.
The sky was gray with clouds and thunder could be heard in the distance. Damien stood on the grass looking up at one of the telephone wires that hung above the school, bird perched on it. Stevie kept his distance.
At some point, Damien pulled out and lit a cigarette, holding it towards the smaller boy in offering. And damn, he needed a smoke.
He watches in his peripheral as he inhaled, Damiens eyes watching the rise of his chest and the O-Shape his lips made as he blew the smoke. He ignored it and passed the cig back, trying to touch him as little as possible without dropping it.
It stayed like that for a moment, the two passing it back and forth in silence as the sky growled. Stevie started to believe, if just for a moment, that he could deal with his feelings. But then Damien talked again.
"I don't hate you, you know." He sighed as he let his fingers brush against Stevies, making him almost jerk away and drop the cigarette. Almost.
"I just feel hurt, I kinda liked you after all that." Stevie took a deeper drag then he intended when he heard that, coughing out the smoke. He knew he didn't mean it in the way Stevie would, but he wished it did. Suddenly he was feeling like that one girl he met in middle school, who did nothing but complain about her unrequited crush on her best friend, driving Stevie up the wall. But he was starting to understand her, even if she felt like the embodiment of Girl In Red and Mitski.
"Okay." Stevie choked out, voice cracked from both emotions and smoke. Rain started to fall.
"Can you just tell me why you've been avoiding me?" He asked after passing the cigarette back, and Stevie made the mistake of looking at his face. There was something there in his expression, sadness and hurt of course, but something that he recognized, but also didn't. He found the urge to tell him how he felt grow stronger then ever, but he stomped it down.
"I- I can't. I can't tell you, Damien." He heard the embarrassing crack his voice put out and knew that he couldn't blame it on the smoke this time.
A scene he had watched once came mind, it was in some K-Drama that he didn't understand, and didn't care to. One of the couples were arguing in the rain, and it ended by one of them kissing the other out of nowhere. He didn't know why he thought of that in this moment, Damien watching him with a dissatisfied face, sighing out a okay and taking another drag of their shared cigarette.
Fuck it.
When the taller boy went to pass the cigarette back, he grabbed him by the front of that stupid hoodie he was always wearing and kissed him, awkward and their noses smashing together, but Damien leaned in, and that was enough for him.
"That's why." He whispered after pulling away and Damien laughed, pulling him back in.
"Dude, even if I didn't like you back, I wouldn't really care. It hurt more to be ignored then basically breaking my nose with that kiss, if you can even call it one." Stevie swatted his shoulder in annoyance but didn't pull away. He didnt want to.
Unfortunately, at that very moment, the ground next to the school blew up and Cassie crawled out, projecting a shit eating grin at the two idiots as if she wasn't coated in dirt and soot.
God, this school was weird.