Work Text:
On the National Day of Joy, I celebrate Keanu Reeves being joyful as he participates in an act that brings him to that place: playing bass.
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Dear Keanu;
This only came to me when I was quickly thinking what I could be quickly doing for this day as it quickly comes to an end.
I knew it was Grant Day, but I wasn't going there.
I thought of the National Day of Joy but there was hardly a connection...
Until I thought of your love for Joy Division and playing the bass.
So I quickly sketched this and then colored it.
Not sure how joyful I'm feeling after seeing the stories of you being in Soledad and hearing you were with your girl...and driving an electric car.
So.
How was the trip? Did you have to keep stopping to recharge? How long did that take? Who paid for the bill?
*shakes head*
It doesn't seem like a sustainable alternative.
Like that water you were drinking from the aluminum can a few months back instead of plastic.
It's complicated.
But you've seemed to have gone more towards the left while I'm staying here in the middle.
I remember God telling the Israelites specifically not to pay attention to the left or the right but only to Him.
That's what I do.
But then, you live in Hollywood...
Which is basically a bubble that doesn't seem to understand how the rest of the world thinks or feels just what looks good politically to them.
Sigh.
But it bothers me that while I was writing my letter yesterday you were off driving in your electric car with Alexandra Grant...
That when I was wondering if you'd had lunch yet or not, you were in a Starbucks with her, snapping photos with fans.
But what really makes me sad is that your index finger must be broken.
All of your fingers for that matter.
I'd kiss them better if I could.
Soledad...
That's near Salinas, isn't it?
Fitting because I'm back to feeling like Cal Trask here.
But, anyway, I was thinking about something that I had to say to make things clear, including my conscience.
I love David Lynch and I do think he's wonderful but that doesn't mean I forget what he did to Isabella Rossellini. I can't just sweep that under the carpet. It wasn't nice. So when I say he's wonderful it doesn't mean he is perfect.
People are such hypocrites. They like to run around and claim they are this or that but what they mostly are is selfists. They believe in themselves. That's why they will want to cancel some poor person but if another person did basically the same thing, but was nice to them or an object of their lust and fantasy, they will forgive them and overlook it.
I don't want to be like that.
I desperately don't want to be.
So David is wonderful to me and also not so wonderful.
I love him.
But he can also be a bit of a liar to help save face and his ego.
Like claiming he had little to do with Twin Peaks season 2 (because of Wild at Heart which was released months before) when he was more involved with it than ever before, often even appearing in it as an actor.
But that's it...
David Lynch said it himself in an interview I could never find again: We are kinder to ourselves than we maybe should be and paint ourselves better than we are.
I'm still Cal Trask.
That's how I paint myself today.
Still trying to deal with jealousy and anger, pain, resentment and bitterness.
I don't like those feelings but I acknowledge them.
But today was made to find joy in those little things.
Not wealth and prestige like those people whom live in bubbles.
It was actually invented to help seniors with their sadness and loneliness, by their caretakers whom encouraged them to find joy in little unexpected places.
I am happy.
I am joyful because yesterday I kept seeing 44s and after checking out the news and waking up to my ao3 notifications, I know why now.
I am grateful for each of those 44s because apparently Harold's fingers aren't broken where he is.
And I am filled with joy because of my life.
I am blessed.
I have been so blessed in my life.
God has blessed me.
Because I don't have very much.
So I am grateful and filled with joy for everything I do have.
Especially my God and my Christ, my family and Harold, my kitties, my friends and those whom have inspired me.
David Lynch being one of them.
And you too, Keanu.
All my love forever,
Your
Erin
XO XO
:D <3
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