Chapter Text
Pete ran to the usual goths table at Benny’s, breathless as he plonked down next to Firkle. “You guys! We have to get the band back together!”
Henrietta raised an eyebrow. “Hold on. Didn’t you just come from detention? Where did this idea come from?”
Pete explained that Nathan told him about the upcoming Battle of the Bands on Friday and how Craig challenged him that his band would be better than the goths’ band.
“Wait. So you’re trying to say that winning the Battle of the Bands will also win Tweek’s heart?” Firkle inquired.
“Yeah, something like that,” Pete said.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Michael said, crushing his cigarette into the ashtray before pulling a new one out. “I’m in.”
All their old instruments were stored in Henrietta’s basement. Henrietta pushed aside some old boxes before she found them buried underneath a box of her mom’s collection of Precious Moments ceramic figurines. She shoved the box marked Fragile aside, a few cracking sounds heard. “You’re lucky I kept these, Pete. I never thought the band would get back together. I was going to sell these instruments.”
Michael helped Firkle set up his old drum kit while Henrietta dusted off her keyboards and plugged them in. Pete found his old bass and wiped it with a tissue before tuning it. “We have to be serious about this, guys. We need to crush Craig’s stupid band.”
“Wait, what song are we doing?” Michael asked.
“Oh.” Pete’s face fell. “I haven’t thought that far.”
“Duh, isn’t it obvious it has to be a love song? And you can dedicate it to Tweek or something,” Henrietta said.
“But it still has to be goth!” Firkle said, curling his fist.
“Well, that goes without saying,” Michael shrugged. “But we never wrote a goth love song back in elementary school.”
“So we have to write an entirely new song?” Henrietta said.
“Which is basically impossible given we have only four days,” Michael said.
“Or we do a cover song,” Firkle suggested.
They all glanced from one to the other, a knowing glance in their eyes as the obvious answer presented itself. They all simultaneously said, “Just Like Heaven,” the title of the one true goth love song.
Craig’s band were practicing in Clyde’s garage. Behind some bushes nearby, Nathan was watching through binoculars when he noticed that the top of Mimsy’s large head was showing over the hedge.
“Mimsy, duck down more before they see you!” Nathan hissed.
“Derr, okay, boss!” Mimsy bent his knees some more. Nathan jabbed him hard in the stomach to get him to crouch over even more. “Err, boss, what’re we doing here anyway?”
“I’ve already told you, Mimsy. We need to observe Craig’s band and find a way to sabotage them.”
“Derr, do you mean we’re gonna go over and beat them up boss?”
“Shut up, Mimsy!” Nathan reached over and slapped him but his hand also hit the bushes and a thorn stuck in his finger. “Oww!” he said, before covering his own mouth, remembering that as spies they needed to be quiet. “This is a reconnaissance mission! We need to be stealthy.”
“Yeah okay boss.”
“I think I have an idea, Mimsy,” Nathan said, refocusing his binoculars onto the band. “The drum kit has a large bass drum that would be an ideal place to plant a timed bomb. If we can ascertain the dimensions, we can then build our bomb accordingly. Do you understand what we need to do, Mimsy?”
“Derr, we take a picture and using image reader technology, get the brand and model of the drumkit and find its exact proportions online?”
“No, you idiot!” Nathan said in exasperation at his lackey’s stupidity. “You’re going to rush over there, measure it with this shoelace and then run back here quickly.” Nathan handed over a red shoelace to Mimsy’s meaty palm.
“Derr, okay boss,” Mimsy replied, ever obedient. Without any covertness, Mimsy walked right out of the bushes and over to the band and stood in front of them.
“TIMMY!” Timmy shouted on seeing him.
“Derr, hi Timmy!” Mimsy said.
Clyde looked at him weird. “Uh, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Uhhh…” Mimsy paused for a second, completely having forgotten the instructions Nathan told him. “I dunno.”
Craig narrowed his eyes. “I know why he’s here. Nathan sent him to sabotage our band.”
Mimsy’s eyes alighted with recognition. “Derr, yeah! Thanks for reminding me.” He ambled over to the drumkit and unraveled the shoelace from his clenched hand. He wasn’t sure which way he was supposed to measure it so he tried to wrap it around the side but the shoelace was too short. Improvising, he took out one of his own shoelaces to tie it to the end of the red one. When that still proved too short, he took out his other shoelace and tied it to the end of the other two.
Timmy, Clyde and Craig looked on in confusion. “That’s his idea of sabotage? Tying a shoelace around our drumkit?” Clyde asked.
Craig rolled his eyes. “Typical Nathan and his shitty ideas. Whatever, just ignore Mimsy. It’s not his fault.”
Mimsy, all confused, ended up with three shoelaces tied together in one big knot. He remembered that Nathan told him to leave quickly so he decided to do just that. But he tripped over himself, his shoes now very loose without their laces. He kicked off both shoes and in his socks, quickly dove into the bushes. He presented Nathan with the tangled shoelaces. “Derr, I did as you said boss!”
Nathan facepalmed. “Mimsy, I hate you.”
Stan’s life was spiraling out of control. The yaoi girl had posted her fanart of Tweek x Craig but it wasn’t getting as much traction as this AssMaster69696969’s fanfiction which had hit 3000 kudos out of nowhere. And Wendy still wouldn’t talk to him. Feeling like his back was against the ropes, he saw only one option.
It was time to talk to Kyle directly.
Stan headed over to the Broflovski household right after dinnertime. Mrs. Broflovski answered the door.
“Oh, hi Stan! Long time no see.”
“Hi, Mrs. Broflovski. Is Kyle home?”
She inspected his face a little more closely, the way mothers do. “Have you been eating? Have you been sleeping okay? You look a little pale, kiddo.”
“Uh, I’m fine. Just, you know, studying a lot.” It was a bad lie but hopefully she wouldn’t ask any further.
“Come on in. It’s been such a long while since you’ve been over. I’d almost think you and Kyle have been fighting or something, hahaha!”
“Heh.” Stan cringed. “That is definitely not what is happening between us.”
She hustled him to the kitchen and gave him a plate of cookies and a glass of lemonade, not allowing him to see Kyle until he finished both. He forcefed himself to appease her, though truth be told the cookies were pretty good. “Alright. There now, I think I see some color in your cheeks again,” she said, reaching over to pinch his cheek like he was still a kid. “Go on up. Kyle finished his homework, he’s just working on his little romance stories now.”
“Excuse me, what?” Stan said, almost choking on the last of the lemonade in his glass.
“Yup, our Kyle is a writer! Maybe one day he’ll be a bestselling author! In addition to being a doctor or lawyer of course. He won’t allow me to read his work but I think most writers are temperamental like that. Go on up, have fun!”
Stan thanked her for the snack and hurried up the stairs. Without preamble, he burst through the door, alarming Kyle who was at his desk on his laptop.
“Stan? What the hell are you doing here?” Kyle exclaimed, surprised to see him.
“Are you seriously writing more Tweek x Pete fanfiction right now?” Stan accused.
Kyle reddened slightly. “I’ve received a ton of comments for a part two! I’m just giving the audience what they want. Not that it’s any of your business.” He slammed his laptop closed so Stan wouldn’t see.
“It is my business, dickhead! Thanks to you, Tweek and Craig might never get back together again. And Wendy really hates my guts now.”
Kyle folded his arms, remaining seated at his chair as he swiveled side to side on it. “None of that’s my problem, Stan. Is it really that big a deal if Tweek ends up with Pete? How does that affect your life?”
“Oh, yeah? If it doesn’t matter who Tweek ends up with then why did you write an entire fifty thousand words of a ship you supposedly don’t care about?”
Kyle stood up from his chair, his anger now escalating. “That’s just my way of leveling the playing field, okay? The majority of the school was in favor of Tweek x Craig for no good reason other than nostalgia. I’m just presenting an alternative.”
“You hijacked an assembly!”
“You tried to sabotage Tweek and Pete’s date! You almost had them killed!”
“That was Cartman’s stupid fuck-up, okay? I didn’t mean for that to get out of hand.” Stan groaned in frustration, clutching his head. “Look, can we agree to just… I don’t know, come to a truce about this right now? I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in over a week, dude.”
Kyle’s anger dissipated slightly. It was true that his friend looked pretty bad. Not just his friend, but his best friend. Their shipping war had escalated to fever pitch. Maybe it was time to scale back. “Okay, listen. Word of mouth is that Pete and Craig will be competing in the Battle of the Bands this Friday. If Tweek makes his decision then, we can agree to be friends again, no matter the outcome.”
Stan glared at him. “You’re still waiting to be proven right, aren’t you?”
“It’s not about being right! Once the decision is made, then we can go back to normal or whatever.”
“So if Tweek ends up with Craig, you’ll really be okay with that?”
“Uh… yes,” Kyle said through gritted teeth.
Stan didn’t like Kyle’s hesitation. “Let’s shake on it then.” He extended his hand. “A truce for now. You’re not posting a part two to that fic. No more shenanigans.”
“But I already wrote five thousand wo—”
“No, Kyle! This is a truce. A ceasefire,” Stan said, standing his ground.
Kyle sighed. “Okay, fine.” He reached over and shook his hand. For good measure he leaned over Stan’s shoulder to see if his other hand had crossed fingers behind his back.
“Dude, are you checking out my butt?” Stan accused.
“No! Of course I wasn’—” but Kyle stopped himself. He didn’t want to be seen as suspicious of Stan lying so he nodded along to Stan’s stupid suggestion. “Yes. I was checking out your butt.”
Stan narrowed his eyes at him. “Weirdo. Anyway, I’m glad we came to an understanding. This will all be over by Friday night.”
Cartman went over to Stan at school the next day. “So how are we sabotaging this Battle of the Bands? Should we pour water over the goth kids? Not only would it wipe their makeup off and expose how hideous they are but their instruments could electrocute them. That would be sweet,” he chuckled.
“No. I already told you in the group chat. We are at a truce.” Stan said.
Tolkien wasn’t completely at ease with this truce. “Are you sure about that? Kyle’s been pulling out the big guns lately. What if he does something even crazier? Hijacks the Battle of the Bands somehow?”
“It’s just him, Butters and Kenny, not a whole terrorist organization. Relax. We’ll just have to take his word for it.”
Jimmy nodded. “I trust you, Stan. Kyle is a m-m-man of his word. I don’t b-b-believe anything bad will happen at that B-Battle of the B-B-Bands. I think it will be a fun n-night.”
Tweek sent the following message to both Craig and Pete.
‘meet me on friday evening to talk’
The reason Tweek chose Friday was if any of them freaked out over his final decision, he wouldn’t have to see them in school the day after. He received two very similar messages back.
Craig: at the botb?
Pete: before or after the battle of the bands?
Tweek stared at both messages. He wasn’t even aware there was a Battle of the Bands that week. ‘i guess after ?’ he wrote back to both.
On Friday night, the school auditorium was packed to the gills. What was previously the scene of the contentious assembly a mere four days ago was now the setting for the ultimate battle: Craig vs Pete. Alison had a homemade sign that read CRAIG’S BAND SUCKS. The yaoi girls, seated near the front, held cutouts of Craig’s and Tweek’s faces. Some even had their sketchbooks ready to capture the moment. One started sketching prematurely, imagining a rather dramatic lightning strike from Craig’s guitar to blind Pete on the spot.
However, first in the lineup was Pip with a shitty flute solo.
Bebe turned to Wendy next to her as they watched from the wings. “Should that count? One person isn’t a band. Plus, he’s fucking awful.”
Wendy shrugged. “He’s not that bad.” A piercing screech came from his flute that made everyone’s ears bleed. “Okay, nevermind, he is that bad. But it shouldn’t be much longer til we’re up.”
At first, Wendy didn’t want anything to do with this stupid battle of the bands. But when she heard that it was sold out, she signed up herself, Bebe, Red and Nicole as a girl group. It didn’t seem that hard since they already knew how to dance from being on the cheerleading squad. Singing proved a little more difficult but Wendy in full drill sergeant mode quickly got them up to at least a mediocre level of vocal quality. She made them learn a song in a few days, insisting on perfection so they’d have a great performance. She figured if there was going to be such a big audience for the Battle of the Bands anyway, she might as well get some exposure. It might even look good for her college application. Plus the winner received $1000 which could buy many cute outfits.
Pip finished to a chorus of boos. Next up was a rap duo of Heidi and Alejandro.
In all the commotion, very few people noticed that the supposed guest of honor, Tweek Tweak, was nowhere to be seen. This didn’t bode well for Cartman’s plan. He had the ultimate weapon, Cupid Me, back at his disposal and hidden in his backpack. His plan was for Cupid Me to strike Tweek while Craig’s band was on stage, thus making him fall in love with him again, and voila, winner winner, chicken dinner. Of course that twitching fucker being nowhere around had Cartman slightly concerned. He elbowed Tolkien. “Where the fuck is Tweek? That shithead’s gonna miss the entire show.”
Tolkien glanced at the order of the band list posted on the school website on his phone. “Well, judging by the order here, it looks like The Goth Kids and Craig’s Band are going on almost last. So he has time to get here.”
“The what and the what?”
“Those are the goths band and Craig’s band. I thought that was obvious?”
Wendy’s group Girl Trouble got up on stage and began performing an original song called “My Boyfriend is an Asshole (But I Love Him Anyway).”
The entire crowd got into it, standing up, cheering them on and dancing along. Stan blinked a few times, in awe at Wendy’s moves and the general vibe of the group. “Wait, that’s not about me right?”
Tolkien face-palmed. “Dude, you really do not deserve her.”
When The Goth Kids band was finally announced, Kyle sat up straighter. He glanced at Stan a few rows back. Kyle had not published the second part of the fic. Stan’s group hadn’t committed any further mischief since Monday. Their truce seemed to be in effect. Kyle should have nothing to worry about but he was slightly apprehensive anyway.
The Goth Kids took to the stage. There was a surprising amount of cheers for them, something their band had never received in elementary school. Michael, the lead singer, felt a strange mix of happiness and nerves. “So this must be what being a conformist feels like,” he mused to himself. He grabbed the microphone and said. “Hello. We’re the Goth Kids. This first song is a cover. It’s dedicated from Pete to Tweek, wherever he is.”
They began performing Just Like Heaven, sounding impressively accurate to the original. Things were going well. Cartman tried booing them but the row in front of him told him to shut up. Just then, Cupid Me popped out of his backpack.
“It’s showtime. Teehee!” the small figure said as he floated up.
“No goddamnit, Cupid Me!” Cartman hissed to his bag. “You get back in here. Craig’s band is not up yet and Tweek is nowhere around still!”
Cupid Me ignored him as he floated up high and toward the stage. Cartman got out of his seat to follow him, yelling at him to stop. To everyone else around, Cartman looked like he was talking to himself. Cupid Me floated up, did a fancy twirl and shot his arrow straight at Michael the goth.
Michael stopped singing momentarily. Alexandra, waiting in the wings to go on as a singing duo with a fellow cheerleader, jumped out to stop Cartman from climbing on stage. At that moment, Cupid Me stabbed his arrow into Alexandra, who tripped before she could reach Cartman.
Michael and Alexandra stared at each other, completely lovestruck.
“Oh hell no,” Cartman cursed.
Michael grabbed the microphone. “Forget what I said earlier. This song is dedicated to Alexandra, the absolute love of my life.”
“Oh, I love you too babe!” she said.
The entire audience wondered if this was part of their act. The band finished playing their song and Cartman angrily grabbed Cupid Me backstage. “What the hell is that? Did you seriously make me lose my hot girlfriend, aka the best thing that ever happened to me?? You better have enough arrows for when Craig comes on.”
“Teehee. I don’t!” Cupid Me said as he floated away.
Craig’s band was due to go on. Craig looked out over the audience. He’d been pleased earlier to know that Tweek hadn’t arrived yet to see the Goth Kids’ band perform. He thought it was a premonition to Tweek’s final choice in choosing Craig over Pete. But Tweek was still nowhere around which made his earlier absence lose any potential meaning. At least his band would be better than the Goth Kids. All they did was perform one Cure cover song before Michael and Alexandra made out on stage. They would have stayed there forever if Firkle hadn’t thrown a cymbal over each of their heads.
In the audience, Nathan rubbed his hands together as Craig’s band took the stage. He glanced a few rows over. “Jimmy looks quite smug over there. I can’t wait til we wipe that smile off his face, Mimsy.”
“Derr, how we going to do that boss?”
“Simple, Mimsy. You already planted that bomb in the band’s bass drum and we are going to set it off when I press this red button,” Nathan said, taking a small remote control device out.
“Ohh yeah, okay boss,” Mimsy said. After a few seconds, he said, “Oops.”
Nathan glanced over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Oops what, Mimsy?”
“Uh boss, I forgot to put the bomb in the drum.”
“God damn it, Mimsy!” Nathan shouted, shaking with rage. “Now we have to go to Plan B!”
“Uh, what’s that boss?”
“I have to rush the stage and pull my pants down to moon the crowd, throwing the entire set off!” Nathan got up and started walking toward the stage. Mimsy stood up and followed him. As Nathan walked he tossed the remote control aside, not needing it anymore. Mimsy, with a heavy bag on him, accidentally stepped on the red button. He realized too late that he had kept the bomb in his bag, blowing himself and Nathan sky high as the bomb blew up in the aisle. Immediately the audience scattered screaming while security shouted for everyone to evacuate.
Jimmy, thinking quick, picked an injured Nathan up and brought him carefully outside to a stretcher near a waiting ambulance. “G-gosh Nathan. That was a real c-c-close one. You were r-r-right near where the b-b-bomb went off. Who w-would do such a th-th-thing?”
Nathan raised his head slightly before lowering it back down, in too much pain. One of his tinted lenses was cracked. “I… hate… you… Jimmy Valmer,” he said weakly before a medic attended to him.
Tweek waited patiently outside the school, unable to secure a ticket in time to the sold-out Battle of the Bands. When it sounded like a bomb went off inside and then the doors opened to a wave of students running out of the school, Tweek freaked out and ran as well. He went all the way to Tweek Bros which was closed at that time of night but since he had the key he went inside and hid. He tried calling several of his contacts but no one answered. He really hoped they were all okay. When he got texts back from Craig and Pete, he felt an immense relief. He wrote back that he was at Tweek Bros if they still wanted to meet him.
They both arrived together not long after. They were completely uninjured which made Tweek breathe another sigh of relief. Craig explained that the only ones who were injured were Nathan and Mimsy but they were expected to fully recover.
Still, a bomb going off was an unnerving ordeal. As if Tweek didn’t have enough to deal with now that he was finally going to speak to Craig and Pete and reveal his choice. He had the lights on in one part of the cafe, carefully putting down three chairs around one table so they could each sit down and talk in peace.
Tweek sighed and folded his hands together. “Well, thank you both for meeting with me. Despite the circumstances.”
“No problem.” Craig was smug, knowing that Tweek would choose him over Pete despite his band also not getting to finish their set.
Pete was a nervous wreck. “Um, sure,” he said, one leg vibrating nervously. Ever since Michael stopped their band’s set to make out with Alexandra, he felt like there was some weird cosmic shift in the air. Like, what was that all about? Things were not right. He was almost one hundred percent sure Tweek would choose Craig.
Tweek continued. “I know you both have been waiting for me to choose. And I’ve thought really long and hard about this. And I came to a final decision.”
“Good, finally,” Craig said, ready to embrace Tweek back in his arms where he belonged.
“I am here to suggest…” Tweek took a dramatic pause before saying, “... a Polycule Vee.”
“A what?” Pete practically screamed. He had no idea what Tweek was talking about. “Are you suggesting a threesome?”
“Kinky,” Craig said, raising an eyebrow at Tweek.
“Ahh! No, it’s not a threesome!” Tweek said. He pulled up a screenshot on his phone that looked like the following:
Tweek
/ \
Pete Craig
“So basically, a polycule vee is named so because the relationship is connected like a Vee. I’m the hinge, the connector. I found it difficult to choose so I decided I don’t want to choose. I want both of you. The Vee means you two don’t have to be romantically involved if you don’t want to. If neither of you agree then it’s okay. I can remain single.”
An awkward silence followed. Tweek was finally glad to have voiced his decision out loud. Pete still looked confused. Craig leaned across the table and narrowed his eyes. “So what you’re saying is, you want two boyfriends.”
“Um, gah! Essentially, yes. With both of your consents only of course.”
Pete was as pale as Michael’s face when he caked on his goth makeup. His jaw hung open, unable to comprehend this new situation.
Craig sighed and ran a hand through his own hair. He had not anticipated this outcome at all. He didn’t like the idea of sharing. “Come on, Tweek. How could you really not choose me? We belong together, ask anyone.”
“I told you, I can’t choose! I refuse to! It’s either this or nothing!”
“Why not do something like a trial month with me?” Craig suggested. “And then another trial month with Pete if you still want to. I don’t get why it has to be at the same time.”
“This is my final decision, Craig,” Tweek said, standing his ground. “If you don’t like it, just say so and we’ll end the discussion.”
Pete was frozen in surprise. He did not understand what any of this meant. “Do I have to call Craig my boyfriend too?”
“Nope,” Tweek said. “I’d be your only boyfriend. Unless things between you two change…” He glanced over at Craig.
“This is really your final decision?” Craig asked.
“Yup,” Tweek replied.
Craig rubbed a frustrated hand over his own forehead before glancing over at Pete. “Thelman, I’d like to confer with you in private.”
“Um, are you going to kill me?” Pete asked with a shudder.
“As much as I’d like to, no,” Craig said, getting up and walking down the hall, opening a door.
Pete nervously stood up and followed Craig down the hall and into what was the men’s room. He half expected Craig to punch him but instead he pulled him in close and spoke. “Okay, Thelman it’s clear you’re confused as fuck and this is way above your pay grade. Tweek’s terms are both of us or nothing. So as much as I hate the idea of sharing him, I think… we should do this.”
“I think I’m not ready for this,” Pete said. “I barely just had my first kiss. What does any of this mean?”
Craig grabbed Pete by the shoulders like a coach trying to hype up his best player. “No, you are definitely capable. Sort of. Tweek is a nice guy. He’ll treat you right, take things slow with you. With me, well, let’s just say we’re more advanced than that.”
“Are you just saying this so you can kill me in my sleep and then be left alone with Tweek?”
“Fuck, Thelman. I’m not a goddamn murderer! It’s almost like you want to get killed. You have an obsession with dying.” Craig studied the black-clad figure and paused. “Oh wait, yeah you’re a goth. That tracks.”
“I am a goth, but all the same I’d rather not die. Um, you really think this is gonna work?”
“Yes but only if we both say yes. So you need to say yes to Tweek too.” Still seeing the goth looking dubious, Craig added, “By the way your band was actually pretty good. You did The Cure proud.”
Pete smiled for the first time since leaving the Battle of the Bands. “Um, thanks! Your band wasn’t so bad either. Well, until the bomb went off.”
Craig smiled back. “Thanks. Look at us, getting along. Tweek will be so happy.”
Pete was pensive for a few moments until he finally said, “So this means you definitely won’t be my boyfriend?”
“Absolutely not.”
“You won’t try to kiss me or anything?”
“No! Why would I? That would be weird.”
“Yeah, definitely weird. I’m just making sure,” Pete said, staring up at Craig. He was taller than he remembered.
Craig studied the goth for a bit. “I mean… not unless you want me to. Which you don’t.”
“Right! I definitely don’t,” Pete said, blushing a bit. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“Pfft,” Craig snorted with a grin. “Not like you could land a guy like me anyway.”
Pete glared up at him. “What do you mean? I most definitely could land a guy like you! If I wanted to. But you could never land a guy like me. That’s for sure.” Pete stepped forward, making his point all up in his space.
Craig scoffed. “Of course I could land a guy like you. If I wanted to.” He stepped even closer to poke his finger into Pete’s chest, looking down at him. The goth was only slightly taller than Tweek. “Which I don’t.”
Their eyes were locked. Pete bit his lower lip. Their faces were mere inches apart when the door swung open.
“Ahh! Guys?” Tweek asked, looking over. “Were you two about to fight?”
“Y-yes. That’s what we were about to do. Fight,” Craig said, taking a few steps back from the goth.
“Uh, yeah,” Pete said, blushing hard and scratching the back of his neck.
“Oh.” Tweek looked disappointed. “I guess this means you didn’t come to an agreement?”
“No, we did. We decided,” Craig said. “And we agree to your terms. Poly V it is.”
“Ah!! Great!” Tweek blushed. “Um, you guys wanna go out and grab a bite to eat? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, me too!” Pete said.
“Me three,” Craig said.
Stan had rushed to find Wendy outside, glad to see she was okay. She was surprised to see that he cared so much. He apologized to her and they talked for a while about the shipping war being over, despite whatever the outcome was of who Tweek ended up with. They hugged each other for a while before Wendy spotted Kyle. “I think you need to apologize to someone else too,” Wendy said, letting go of Stan. “Go ahead. We’ll catch up later.”
Stan nodded. He walked over to Kyle. “Hey. You okay man?”
“Yeah. Dude, that was crazy. Would Nathan and Mimsy really set off another bomb after trying to blow up the boys’ bathroom earlier this week? Shouldn’t they be suspended?”
“Just another South Park mystery,” Stan said, shrugging. “Hey, I’m sorry if I acted like a dick to you these past few weeks. I kind of let the competition get to me.”
Kyle looked equally guilty. “Yeah, me too. I was so busy trying to prove I was right, I didn’t think about how it was hurting other people.”
“You know, I learned something today. I was thinking about how Craig and Tweek paralleled my own relationship with Wendy and how proving they belonged together would also prove that Wendy and I belonged together. But I shouldn’t have compared us because people grow apart for whatever reason. And that’s okay. So we’re cool?”
Kyle nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.” He fist-bumped his best friend.
Just then Butters ran over. “Fellas! Hey, fellas! Did you see Bebe’s latest Instagram story? She spotted Tweek, Craig and Pete eating together at Benny’s! She thinks they’re a throuple!”
Stan grabbed Butters’ phone to see the Story for himself as Kyle leaned in to watch it too. Stan slammed the phone down onto the ground, making Butters scream.
“Son of a bitch!” Stan and Kyle simultaneously complained.