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Sleeping with Miguel was a double edged sword. You knew he didn’t have the emotional space for a relationship, but sleeping with him was so gratifying that you ignored it. So, you conveniently fell for him. If he couldn’t love you back at least you could have him some other way, right?
Wrong.
You were dumb enough to let your emotions get the best of you. It wasn’t like you weren’t emotional, but you were considered Miguel’s counterpart. The Spider that was warm, cheery, wholesome. You never raised your voice or argued, never got angry at mistakes others made. You simply liked to look on the brighter side of things, make compromises when you could and made sure everyone was alright.
But now, now you are cracking. You had just gotten flung into a brick wall letting the Doc Ock anomaly escape. Groaning, you pick yourself back up only to see Miguel in front of you breathing heavily. He grabs you by your upper arm, dragging you through the portal. Once you arrive back into his office he shoves you into his chair.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Miguel all but yells.
“I-” you pause. “I got distracted.”
“Distracted?!” he seethes. “That distraction could have gotten you killed!”
“I’m sorry, I really am.” head pounding as you struggle to concentrate.
“Oh, you’re sorry?” He throws his hands up in exasperation. “What could have been so distracting that you were willing to let yourself die, huh?” You stay silent.
He stalks closer, towering you in the chair.
“Tell me.” he puts his hands on either side of the chair, caging you in. His face inches away from yours. “Tell me or else you’re going to start becoming a liability with these distractions.”
“He was going to kill you.” You whisper, eyes starting to burn. “And I wasn’t about to let that happen cause-” you clamp your mouth shut.
“Cause what?” he pressed. “Cause what?!”
You cracked.
“Because I love you!” Eyes now full of tears.
Miguel straightens back up, turning around, rubbing his nose bridge and cursing in Spanish. “This was a mistake.” He sighs.
You look up at him willing him to continue.
He stares down at you with a cold, unreadable face. “Whatever this-” He waves his hand. ”is…was between us. It was a mistake. I should have known you’d become emotionally invested.”
“Right.” you say, forcing yourself out of the chair. You don’t look at him, eyes blurry from the tears. “It was stupid of me.” chuckling wetly.
“You should go.” you nod numbly. “Open the portal to your dimension and give me your watch back.” You snap your head up to stare at him.
“Miguel, wait-”
“I can’t risk the multiverse for this.” he turns his head to look at you.
“Sure, whatever you want.” you sniffle, too tired and hurt to reason with him. You open up the portal hesitant to walk through. You turn back one more time, facing him. “I-I’ll pack your things, come pick them up whenever you can. You know where to find me.” furiously swiping the tears off your face, you tear the watch off your wrist and toss it to Miguel before stepping through the portal.
~
You land straight back into your room and the portal zips shut behind you. Head still pounding, you crumble onto the floor next to your bed. Sobbing for hours, skipping patrol and passing out due to exhaustion. You wake up the next morning thanking every being on the planet that it was only Sunday. Eyes still puffy and your body dehydrated, you get up to chug a glass of water and start gathering all of Miguel’s things to shove into a box. You pack up everything except a black hoodie that still smells like him with the thumb holes that you couldn’t find in your dimension. You leave the box in the living room while you head back to your room to shove the massive hoodie under your pillow.
You spend the rest of the day doing your usual routine, eating, going on patrol, preparing for work the next day. When you finally sleep you bury your head in the hoodie shoved under your pillow.
Days become weeks, and weeks become months.
Three months in, the box you had left for Miguel was still there, you assumed he was too busy to pick it up. Jess and Peter took turns visiting you, trying to cheer you up and keep you updated about the Spider Society. The hoodie becomes a comfort object, being worn at every opportunity inside the house. You’d be careful to wear it only when you were clean so the scent wouldn’t get contaminated. You wore it after you shower, when you were lounging around the house, and when you were sleeping. You were rarely without it in the cramped apartment.
~
Patrol had been particularly unforgiving today. You had to stop multiple robberies, a couple attempted murders, and because fate wanted to be extra cruel today, there was an anomaly which meant a chance of Miguel popping by your dimension.
Well, if he was going to stop by here he might as well pick up his stuff, you thought.
The anomaly had been a nasty one. In fact, it was the exact anomaly that had gotten you exiled in the first place. You take a deep breath, you were not going to let this Doc Ock get away this time. You start running as you sling your web shooters to gain momentum to attack. You land a few blows before you see the bright orange of an all too familiar portal above Doc Ock.
“You're calling for backup, Spidey? You must be really out of practice?” Dock Ock jabs.
“No, just wanted to get this done faster, I got better things to do.” you reply. Out of the corner of your eye you see a specific glowing red and blue. You stiffen, emotions threatening to take over. You exhale. I just have to get this done, you repeat to yourself. You continue fighting Doc Ock, ignoring Miguel’s overwhelming presence.
You guys take down Doc Ock and before Miguel wraps him up to drag him into the portal, you are gone.
You go home and take a shower getting ready for a short nap before waking up for work. In your sleep shorts and tank top you make your way to the bed, too tired to turn on the lights you feel around for the hoodie. Panic sets in as you realize it's not on the bed where you had left it. You flick on the lights searching your room and then everywhere else in the house. Tears now threatening to spill you are hit with the sudden realization and turn towards your laundry basket.
“No, no, no….” You viciously tear through it finding the hoodie, washed and clean. You sniff it to chase Miguel’s scent only to find that it now smells like floral detergent.
Climbing on to the bed with the hoodie in hand you start silently crying, which rapidly turns into sobbing. Through the sobbing you fail to hear, see or sense the portal that had appeared in your room. A large hand rests on your back and you immediately scramble away looking at the perpetrator.
“Miguel…” you suck in a shaky breath. He stares at you curled up against the headboard with his hoodie tangled in your hands. You look so small, he thinks and his heart throbs at the sight.
“I-” he starts.
“Your stuff is in the living room.” cutting him off, you offer him a small smile. “If that’s what you’re here for, that is.” He nods at this making his way to the living room. You stare at the harsh glows of the portal as he leaves the room, trying to control your breathing. He returns with the box in his hands. He looks at you, brows furrowed. You can tell he wants to say something.
“Don’t worry about it, it was a mistake, right?” you sniffle it out softly, no malicious intent behind it. You muster another smile at him, giving him an out. He drops the box and climbs on to the bed, pulling you towards him. The portal closes behind him. You’re now engulfed in his embrace with his nose buried in your hair.
“I’m sorry, mi amor. I am so, so sorry.” he repeats as you cry in his arms. “I shouldn’t have said those things, I was so scared that I would lose you too. You were never a mistake. Nothing has been the same since you left, I haven’t been the same.” His voice sounds raw as if he’s been crying too. He squeezes you tighter, apologizing over and over again. He takes your head in his hand, kissing every part of your face as you try to control your breathing again. After you’ve calmed down you look at him.
“You look tired.” you chuckle, brushing his face with your hands. “I missed you.”
“I know, mi amor, I know. I missed you too.” he sighs, dropping a kiss on your forehead. You two lay there in silence until you’ve completely calmed down. You’re facing his chest with his arms wrapped around you. You felt warm and safe. Sleep was threatening to take over.
“I love you.” he whispers into your hair, breaking the silence. “I love you so much it hurts, mi amor.”
“You’re going to make me cry again.” You let out a wet laugh as you burrow into him more.
“I’m sorry for all the pain I caused.” he says softly.
“It’s okay.” you look up at him smiling.
“No, it’s really not.” he furrows his brows. “How can you say it’s okay? I hurt you. I- ”
You prop yourself up to kiss him, soft and sweet. Once you pull away, you give him a reassuring smile.
“We’ll talk about it in the morning.” you promise. “Let’s sleep now, I’m tired.” He nods as you lie back down.
And for the first time in the past three months you sleep soundly without the hoodie.