Chapter Text
Their father was a dubious subject for Hollow. They still weren’t sure about some of their feelings, what they meant. In her quieter moments, she tried to teach them. She had worn down their denial bit by bit, revealing words like happy, sad, guilty, angry.
She was angry often.
They were guilty often. They didn’t need to think on this right now.
Hollow allowed Grimm to undo their bandages, enjoying that his hands were about as warm as Hornet’s, not hot like Grimmchild’s. Could Grimmchild control the heat of his hands, they wondered. Grimm’s touch surprisingly did not hurt, despite the obviously prevalent injuries. They suspected that there was some kind of… numbing, that the Void provided. It was cold, and they had always seen the Knights put cold compresses on injuries. Was this similar? Their body didn’t hurt, really, but they were unable to stand by themself. It was fairly frustrating. They weren’t supposed to be able to atrophy, but they supposed that however long they were in the Egg was enough for even their Void to become weak.
Annoying.
Grimm finished unwrapping them, then considered them for a moment before snapping his fingers and letting the bandages go up in flames. They tilted their head as he grabbed another roll of bandages from thin air– how does he do that– and he laughed almost self-consciously. (They had learned that from her too.)
“You know about teleportation magic, right? All of this is just coming from our stockpile of stuff. It’s not actually being created, just moved.” That made a lot more sense, honestly. They didn’t understand science very well, but things shouldn’t be able to just suddenly exist. Hollow picked up their pencil and wrote a thank you.
“Not a problem, my friend.” He smiled at them. They smiled back. They couldn’t move the corners of his mouth like he could, but they could bare their teeth. It wasn’t the same as Grimm’s smile, which made them feel an emotion they hadn’t learned, but they were trying.
Grimm stood with the bandages and began wrapping them around Hollow’s chest, and the pressure of the tight wrapping felt good, although the wounds had stopped leaking Void. They weren’t entirely sure that the bandages were necessary anymore, but they did feel nice.
A pleased hiss escaped their mouth involuntarily, and they felt mildly embarrassed when Grimm laughed at it. They glared at him, and he smiled at them.
“Sorry, friend, it was simply… endearing.” Their glare converted into a confused look and they picked up their pencil once he was done wrapping their arm.
What is “endearing?”
“Oh, well, endearing is… when you like something, and it inspires love, affection, or makes you hold something dear.” Ah, was that what they felt about his smile? Did they feel “endeared?” And more importantly;
I inspire love in you?
Grimm’s eyes widened, and he fumbled for a moment.
“Well, uhm, in a way. You’re very… endearing, yes. I feel… affection towards you. You are my friend, after all.” That made sense. Friends feel affection for friends.
I see. You endear me as well.
Grimm’s mouth fell open. What had they said to cause that reaction? They had thought–
“Master, I have the medicine you asked for,” The door slammed open, revealing a firefly holding a lantern in one hand and a tray of small bags and some water in the other. Grimm’s mouth snapped closed, and he teleported in a fiery flash from their side of the room to the door. The firefly looked unimpressed.
“Vespar, you should come back later.”
“But isn’t this who the medicine is for?” Huh? For them? The firefly– Grimm had called her Vespar– looked over his shoulder at them. They waved awkwardly.
“Yes, but– you could have at least knocked.”
“You wouldn’t have let me in, you were too busy flirting.” Grimm bristled, and Hollow was a little confused. What was flirting? Was it a good thing? Grimm looked embarrassed by it. Were they doing something worth being embarrassed of?
“Were you– were you listening? That’s–”
“Half the Troupe was listening, Master.” Hollow craned their neck to look over Vespar and Grimm, and sure enough, there were several bugs hiding on either side of the door. Grimm glared at the troupe members, and they could swear his eyes glowed brighter.
“I hate all of you. You are all banished.” Grimm grumbled, taking the tray from Vespar.
“Oh, woe is me, we both know that you couldn’t do that if you tried.” Vespar seemed to be smirking behind her mask. Grimm slammed the door in her face. Hollow heard the bugs behind the door laughing. They got the feeling that those bugs were laughing at them. It made them feel… bad. Self-conscious. Grimm smoothed out his cape with one hand and walked back to the couch they were sitting on.
“Apologies, Hollow. My Troupe is not mean-spirited in their jest.” Oh, jest. That… made sense, they supposed. But… it felt bad to be thought of as something to be embarrassed of. But before they make that assumption, they should clarify something.
What is flirting?
“Ahhh, um. Flirting is something that a bug does with those they love, to let them know they love them.” That didn’t sound like a bad thing…
Would hugging Sister be considered “flirting?”
“What? No, no. That is… a different kind of love. There are several types of love. Familial is love for family, platonic is love for friends, and then there’s romantic love. Romantic love is reserved for those you… hm. It’s reserved for lovers, one or more people that you love dearly, that you want to stay with, that make you feel happy and safe. It’s decidedly different from familial love, because those who feel romantic love do not feel it for their family. Romantic love is the one that flirting falls under.” He thought for a moment. “Most bugs find that their romantic partners are the ones they would like to have sex with, but this is not universal.”
Hollow knew about sex as a concept, but never really in relation to love. Sex was what bugs do to procreate. Was there more to it? There had to be. How to phrase the question…
Why do bugs have sex with their lovers? Is it only with their lovers?
"Ah, well, I'm sure you know the practical reason for sex," Hollow nodded, "But most bugs do it for fun, or because it feels good. And most of the time bugs do reserve sex for lovers, yes. It is a very intimate act, one that makes a bug vulnerable, reserved for ones you both love romantically and trust. When bugs want to have sex, they are aroused. When they find someone attractive, either physically or romantically, they generally become aroused. Some bugs don't get aroused ever, some very frequently, and some only after a bond is formed. Are you following?"
Hollow nodded again. They now knew about romantic love and sex less vaguely. This was greatly appreciated. And they also wondered…
What is it like to find someone attractive?
"Oh, it's different for everyone, but the general experience is like… looking at a nice flower. Flowers are pretty, looking at one makes you happy. Now imagine that flower was a person, and the way they act makes you happy as well. That's the gist. To take it a step further, if you are a bug that experiences sexual attraction, you also are aroused by them, and want to have sex with them. Aesthetic appreciation is different from romantic attraction, but there is some overlap."
Hollow understood. They liked flowers, sure, but they figured that a more apt comparison would be Grimm himself. His horns were symmetrical, his eyes were a deep maroon like his chest plates, and his pale face contrasted nicely with his black chitin. He was pretty.
I find you pretty, and I like your actions, is that romantic attraction?
"Ah. Hm. Well, I can't say for sure. Could you see yourself spending your life with me?"
Hollow hesitated. Could they? They never really… thought about the future. They had always thought that the Radiance would be their forever, but now? Hollow definitely wanted to be friends with Grimm for a long time, but that would not cover the length of their life due to the fact that he was dying. They drooped, how soon was thier new friend going to die? Hollow wasn’t sure.
No. You are dying. I am not.
Grimm froze for a moment before shaking his head.
“I asked that wrong, then. Would you like to spend your life with me?” That certainly required less thought. He was kind, he was considerate, and sure, he was pretty, but that was much less important than the first two. He was a little dramatic and very patient and they liked being with him.
Yes, I would.
“Perhaps you feel attracted to me, then. Really only you can decide that, though.” Hollow wondered what came after deciding that they were attracted to someone. Maybe it was the sex? But that didn’t sound right. They’d seen Ogrim and Isma doing something they now knew was flirting, was that after the attraction phase? It must have been, because they were letting each other know that they loved one another.
So I’m attracted to you. What comes next?
Grimm sputtered, and his eyes grew the smallest bit brighter.
“Well, um, after that you need to determine whether the other party reciprocates the attraction.”
Hollow looked at Grimm expectantly, and when he didn’t respond, they waved their hand in a “go on” motion.
“You’re… you’re asking if I’m attracted to you?” Hollow nodded, they thought that was obvious. “Ah, um…” Hollow sighed and wrote.
Are you not?
“No! No, I definitely am. Very much so.”
What now?
“I would like to state that this is moving awfully fast, but usually, once the parties have confirmed their attraction to one another, they start dating. And after they are sure enough in their love for one another, they get married.” Hollow tilted their head in question.
“Ahaha, well, dating is when bugs state that they are romantically attracted to each other, become partners, and generally go on outings called “dates.” Marriage is when those bugs decide to devote themselves to each other by law.”
Are we “dating,” then?
“If… if you would like for us to be, I suppose. There are many courtship rituals that most bugs go through, and those differ by the region, but I… if you’ll have me, I would love to be your partner. And, ah, bugs refer to their male partners, when dating, as “boyfriends,” generally, and as “husbands” when they’re married.” Hollow smiled. Grimm smiled back, a little less sure.
You’re my boyfriend, then.
“I suppose I am.” He touched their shoulder before giving them a gentle hug. Hollow hugged back. The warmth was nice.