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and when you fall

Summary:

I will be there to catch you.

--

Or, Aether finds comfort in the arms of the Conqueror of Demons in a moment of grief.

Notes:

This is my first ever Xiao/Aether fic and one of my first fics in general after years of not writing fanfiction, so please be kind. I'm sorry if it's clunky because i wrote different parts of it at different times and I'm rusty as all hell, but I edited this thing like fifty million times and I'm sick of looking at it. Apologies in advance for any mistakes.

A few things to note:
- First third is mostly a retelling of the We Will Be Reunited quest (a lot of lines are taken directly from the cutscene) but with some things changed so please be mindful that this contains spoilers, but it is NOT canon. I tried to condense it so it's not so much a bore. I'm not super happy with it but it is what it is. :/
- Hurt/comfort fics are SO hard to write without it being cliche or cringe, so I'm sorry if it is? lol
- Zhongli seems a bit out of place here because I had wanted him to be a bit more involved in the beginning, but once i started writing, I decided not to expand too much with him in it and was too lazy to take him out entirely.
- It is implied here that Zhongli recognizes Lumine and potentially knows how and why she is associated with the Abyss (this is my own speculation, not canon), but is restricted by his contract to keep it a secret.
- My Xiao is inspired by the Chinese version of Xiao (even though I personally play in Japanese), who I feel is a much more fitting portrayal of him. A lot of his lines are lost in translation I feel, but Chinese Xiao is a lot softer for the traveler.
- Head canon that Xiao can heal.
- Xiao and Aether as a pairing for me is sometimes best depicted by a lot of meaningful silences and few words (at least that's how I interpret it), so I'm sorry if they are out of character. Also, I'm still trying to understand what is considered canon Aether.
- Xiao's lines to Aether towards the end are a mix of his actual teapot lines and one of the Lantern Rite events that I unfortunately did not have the luck of playing through. If you haven't looked into his lines, you really should bc no one can tell me Xiao/Aether is not canon.
- Xiao and Aether has me in a chokehold that I don't really wanna get out of.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Aether’s sword clashes with the Abyss Herald’s over and over in a shower of sparks at lightning speed. Zhongli and Xiao were with him as part of his team that day with Zhongli providing the strongest shield Aether has ever encountered and Xiao steadily overwhelming the Herald with his speed. Dainsleif hovers, doling out calculated hits when he sees an opening.

With such strong teammates with him, it isn’t long before the Abyss Herald realizes he is being overpowered quite easily. Slashing his enemies back with a wave of Abyss energy, the Abyss Herald takes advantage of their moment of distraction to open a portal to make a hasty escape. Just as he is stepping through however, an invisible force wraps itself around his neck and squeezes, immediately suffocating him as he is lifted into the air. Sweat beads over Dansleif’s brows as he concentrates on using his power to pull the Abyss Herald towards himself.

Suddenly, another portal opens and a sword interrupts Dainsleif’s power, forcing him to rear back.

A girl with hair nearly platinum steps forward, her sword of gold and white glinting under the dark glow of the tainted statue. 

Aether freezes, his eyes widening at the sight of Lumine standing there, her eyes lifeless and cold.

Xiao and Zhongli immediately step forward to protect him, the former pushing Aether behind them. Recognition flickers in Zhongli’s eyes, but he stays quiet, his mouth set in a grim line. 

“I-Is that…?” Paimon asks in shock.

“Lumine!” Aether yells, breaking out of his shock and rushing forward. Zhongli immediately lifts an arm and stops him, shaking his head once.

“Aether,” Lumine replies calmly.

Aether could hardly believe his eyes. His twin is right there in the flesh in front of him and she does not look happy to see him. There is no surprise in her eyes, no happiness, no warmth, and she is eerily calm. In fact, there is nothing at all in her gaze, the golden orbs, which were once so alike his own, are glacial. 

Why is she with the Abyss?

He raises a hand to clutch his chest as if in pain, feeling his heart drop and dread start to curl in his stomach. Instinct tells him something is very wrong, but he violently ignores it all.

“Lumine, I’ve finally found you! Let’s go home!” He pushes against Zhongli’s arm of steel, but the archon refuses to budge and keeps his arm firmly in place. “Zhongli! Let me go! What are you–!”

“W-wait, Aether!” Paimon says as she grabs onto his wrist to pull him back, “She just blocked an attack against the Abyss Herald!”

“Aether,” Lumine says again softly, turning to him, “Why are you with Dain?”

“Wh-what?” Aether nearly gasps with the hurt that pierces through him. Dain? It’s been years, nay, centuries since they’ve seen each other and the first thing she asks is why he was with Dainsleif? Despite his confusion and frustration with the situation, Aether itches to hold his sister close again, aches with the long absence of her strong and grounding presence and yet he can never have imagined how much it hurt that Lumine does not seem to reciprocate even an ounce of his feelings. Not even a flicker of concern for her long separated sibling or even happiness that they’ve found each other at last. The pain in his chest reaches up with invisible hands and chokes him.

“Aether,” Lumine calls again in her wooden voice, “Don’t try to stop me. Don’t try to stop the Abyss.”

Aether slowly shakes his head in disbelief. He refuses to believe that his fears are confirmed. Refuses to believe Lumine is part of the very organization he is fighting against. Refuses to believe that they are on opposite sides, that they are no longer on the same team, that maybe they never were. 

“Lumine, you’re not making any sense! Come back to me, please. Let’s talk after we go home!” Aether cries, desperate. His heart feels heavy, Lumine unmoved. 

“Home…,” Lumine whispers and for a second, her eyes soften as she looks at Aether. “Yes, of course. ‘Home’ is wherever we are together.”

For a moment, Aether thinks he’s getting through to her before she continues, immediately crushing the brief hope in his chest. “But I cannot go with you to the next world to find a new home…at least, not yet. Until the Abyss has engulfed the thrones, my war with destiny will see no end.”

Destiny? War? What war? What throne? Aether wants to shake her.

The pang in his chest intensifies and his brows further furrow in despair as he shoves past Zhongli’s arm and runs forward. Xiao’s polearm suddenly blocks his path and Aether has to refrain from crying out in frustration. He could feel the burn of tears in his eyes, but he forbids any from falling. “Lumine, don’t! What are you talking about? I need you, Lumi. Please, come home.” 

“Listen to me, Aether,” Lumine says, her empty eyes meeting Aether’s pained ones, “I have already traveled through this world once. Once you reach the end of your journey as I did, you will see for yourself the true nature of this world.”

She turns, the Abyss Herald opening a portal behind them. “So, we will meet again. Though we need not rush, brother.”

“Lumine, stop!” Aether yells as he pushes against Xiao’s spear with little success. “Why are you doing this?” 

“I have more than enough time to wait for you,” she continues as if she doesn’t hear Aether’s pleas, stepping through the portal with one last look over her shoulder. “We have always had enough time.”

“No, Lumine!” Aether cries as he pushes through Xiao’s barrier with a rush of power and dashes towards the portal that is slowly starting to disappear.

“Aether!” Xiao calls as he pursues him.

“Don’t, Traveler!” Zhongli. But Aether doesn’t hear any of it.

Dainsleif uses his power to sprint through the portal before it closes, disappearing into the abyss.

Aether reaches forward only to fall right through the portal as if it isn’t even there. For a moment, he can’t help but feel like this was his recurring nightmare come true: him, always chasing and Lumine, always out of reach. 

The portal disappears into a vacuum and a deafening silence settles over the group that’s left. The only sounds heard are the hum of power from the tainted statue and Aether’s shaky panting. 

“Aether?” Paimon hesitantly calls, drifting over to him and reaching her tiny arms out.

Aether slowly turns around to face Paimon, his wet eyes downcast, unseeing. Paimon slowly wraps her arms around his neck as much as her little arms could reach and pulls him into a hug.

“Don’t be sad, Aether,” Paimon comforts, “We’ll find her again! Look on the bright side, at least we got some really useful information!”

Aether hesitantly returns her hug before letting out a shaky exhale that sounds suspiciously like a sob and burying his face into Paimon’s hair, nodding once. 

At the sound of Aether’s sorrow, Xiao and Zhongli finally close the remaining distance, the former resting a firm hand on the blonde’s shoulder and the latter gently rubbing his back. 

 


 

The group makes their way back to Liyue after the incident, a thick and somewhat uncomfortable silence between them. Aether surprisingly recovered from his moment of grief quickly, but despair hangs over him like a blanket, his eyes red rimmed and skin pale.

As they crest over the hill that leads to the gates to the harbor, Aether suddenly comes to a stop, turning to the silent group.

“Paimon,” he calls, his voice clear but soft, “Why don’t you stay with Xiangling tonight? I’ll return tomorrow morning to come get you, so we can have breakfast together.”

“But…!” Paimon objects, but Aether is already turning to the other two silent companions. 

“Zhongli, Xiao. May I trouble you to bring Paimon safely to Wanmin? I would be very grateful for your help.”

Xiao opens his mouth to protest, but Zhongli's rumbling voice cuts in first.

“I can accompany you, Traveler. I can share your burden.” You don’t have to be alone is unsaid but heard anyway.

Aether shakes his head slowly. “Thank you, but I just need some time to – to think. Please. Just…please help me take care of Paimon.”

Zhongli’s eyes soften in understanding and he nods. “I will.”

“Aether…” Paimon hedges quietly. 

The blonde walks over to her and pats her affectionately on the head with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it. I promise I’ll be safe. Be good, okay?”

Paimon holds on to his wrist and frowns, wisely biting her tongue and nodding mutely.

Aether gives one last forced smile and then turns on the spot and vanishes, a trail of gold particles left in his wake as he teleports to archon knows where.

“I can tail him,” Xiao says immediately, taking a step forward to follow through, black and green smoke billowing already, but Zhongli stops him with a hand on his forearm. 

“Let him be.”

Xiao frowns, but says nothing. 

He obediently follows his lord and the unusually quiet fairy to Wanmin as instructed, but immediately disappears without a word once they’ve dropped Paimon off to a bewildered but happily accommodating Xiangling.

Alone, Zhongli sighs uncharacteristically as he tilts his head back to gaze at the stars just starting to emerge in the sky, one emotion painfully clear amongst the myriad of others: guilt .

 


 

The night finds Aether sitting at the edge of a cliff at the peak of Mount Tianheng, a small cup of liquor in his gloveless hand and the lights of beautiful Liyue Harbor glowing below him. 

An empty bottle lies on its side beside him and he pours from another that is already half empty. Sighing quietly, he leans back against the tree behind him, an arm resting on a bent knee, his other leg hanging off the cliff, as he gazes out into the harbor and beyond. For once, he is grateful that the enforcement of age restriction laws for alcohol seems to be very lax in Liyue (not that he isn’t millennia past the age limit but it isn’t like anyone believes him).

He is tipsy, not drunk, but the world blurs in front of him anyway. A pleasant warmth settles into his stomach, but it is not enough to distract him from the despair and pain of his thoughts.

He downs his cup in one go, hoping uselessly that this one will be the one to help numb him. 

The only sound that indicates he suddenly isn’t alone anymore is a slight rustle of clothing. Aether doesn’t need to turn to look to know only one person can be so deft and silent. 

The person walks over and quietly sits down next to Aether only inches away, saying nothing and crossing their arms as they stare out into the night with him.

No words are exchanged for a while, Aether continuing to throw back shots of liquor and Xiao offering his silent support.

After what feels like hours but is probably closer to minutes, Aether offers a cup to Xiao. The yaksha hesitates for a moment before he gently takes the cup from Aether’s hand and surprisingly imbibes, throwing back the cup in one movement like he’s observed from the traveler and ignoring said companion’s stunned stare. 

He winces imperceptibly at the taste before handing the cup back. Aether huffs a quiet laugh, pouring another for himself.

“Be mindful of how much you consume,” Xiao murmurs finally, interrupting the quiet.

Aether smiles sadly, but lowers the cup he has yet to drink from anyway. 

Xiao waits for Aether to speak, but they stay like that for a while longer, a comfortable silence reigning again. Just when Xiao is expecting the rest of the night to be just like this, Aether finally speaks, his voice hoarse, barely above a whisper.

“She was there within my grasp and she never felt so far away.” 

He releases a tremulous exhale and looks down, golden bangs creating a shadow over his eyes. His grip on the cup in his hand was so tight Xiao could see the whites of his knuckles.

The yaksha doesn’t reply, afraid that any interruption would mean the traveler would stop talking. That he would continue to hide, to suffer alone, and eventually implode. 

“‘Home is wherever we are together,’” Aether recalls Lumine’s words quietly, tinged with bitterness. “And yet here I am, alone. Still. Again.” 

Complicated and contradicting emotions war within Aether. He is angry and confused, not understanding why Lumine is wrapped up in all of this. The longing for his sibling has a vice grip of his heart, but the longing now feels different – tainted? – because the reunion they just had deviated significantly from how he originally imagined it to be. They are the most important person to each other – at least he thought they were – and yet, this is the first time Lumine has ever been obsessed like this, and over a fallen nation that he knows nothing about at that.

But most of all, he is scared. He is terrified of the person Lumine has seemingly become. She is a shadow of the sister he knew and loved, her vacant eyes a burned image in his head. When he started his journey, his entire focus was on seeing Lumine and reuniting with her again, but now, the future seems so uncertain and he honestly isn’t sure if he is looking forward to finding out the truth. What if things are already irreparable? What if they can never go back to the way they used to be? What if he has already lost Lumine? What if, what if, what if – 

A sudden cracking noise and the sound of porcelain shattering pierce the air, interrupting his spiral. Aether hisses in surprise and pain as liquor spills over his hand and blood quickly begins to seep from the newly formed cuts. He hadn’t realized how tightly he had been gripping the cup.

Gloved fingers immediately grasp Aether’s wrist to bring the trembling, injured hand gently towards himself, a quiet noise of surprise escaping the blond. Xiao carefully cleans his hand of the shards of porcelain before using his wind affinity to heal the cuts, a black and green smoky glow enveloping their hands. 

The glow dissipates to reveal smooth skin once more.

“I didn’t know you had healing capabilities,” Aether says quietly in wonder, his despair momentarily forgotten. “Thank you.”

Aether shifts to move his hand away, knowing Xiao isn’t one for physical contact, but instead of releasing Aether’s hand back to him, Xiao grips his hand more firmly. A moment of hesitation and then he’s pulling Aether towards himself with a strength that surprises his companion.

Aether gasps. “What are you–!”

Aether lands awkwardly between Xiao’s legs before the yaksha positions him so that Aether is sitting more comfortably across his lap. He holds him by the waist with one hand and uses his other hand to press Aether’s head into the crook of his neck. Aether is stunned for a long moment, eyes wide and breath hitched. Eventually, he exhales shakily and relaxes against the yaksha, pressing himself under Xiao’s jaw and slowly closing his eyes. 

Aether doesn’t dare wrap his arms around Xiao even though he desperately wants to, scared that he may overstep his boundaries with the yaksha who was known to be uncomfortable with other people. Instead, he slowly reaches a hand up to rest gently on Xiao’s chest.

And it is in Xiao’s embrace that Aether lets the first tear roll down his face. The pain of Lumine’s absence, the confusion and uncertainty of the entire situation, and the sharp loneliness come crashing down around him as he buries his face into Xiao’s neck and silently weeps. Xiao pulls him closer, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on Aether’s hip.

Aether cries quietly for a long time and eventually runs out of tears, content to just sit in Xiao’s lap, warm from not only the alcohol, but also his hold. After a while, Aether slides the hand resting on Xiao’s chest to his shoulder in a half embrace. 

“Xiao, thank you,” Aether whispers. He is tired, close to falling asleep from the exhaustion of crying and the alcohol pumping through his veins.

Xiao says nothing at first before squeezing once and murmurs, “Continue your travels, Aether. We will see this to the end.” He presses Aether’s head more firmly against his neck, softly caressing his hair. “You are not alone,” he says quietly, responding to Aether’s earlier confession. When Aether doesn’t immediately respond, Xiao thinks he’s likely fallen asleep. He gently leans back against a boulder behind him to get comfortable.

But after what seems like a small eternity, Aether says sleepily, “We?”

Xiao hesitates, unsure if Aether would even remember his answer. “Yes. I will be by your side, if you so wish it.” 

A quiet hum and a soft brush of lips against Xiao’s neck are Aether’s response before even breathing meets the yaksha’s ears.

For the first time in millennia, Xiao feels an unfamiliar warmth on his cheeks that lasts well into the night.

 


 

Dawn approaches slowly and it is when the world begins lightening into blues and grays that Aether stirs.

Blinking his eyes open slowly, Aether registers strong arms around him and the heartbeat steadily thumping beside his ear where his head is resting on a warm shoulder. Lifting his head up, he finds deep amber eyes already staring at him. Memories from last night rush through him and Aether realizes Xiao had stayed and held him all night. He blushes and shivers.

Xiao readjusts his grip and holds him closer. “Cold?”

“N-no, I’m fine,” Aether says quietly. He hasn’t felt this rested in a long time. “Thank you. You must be so uncomfortable sitting like that all night.” He moves to get up, but Xiao tightens his hold and stops him.

“Do not worry yourself. I do not mind.”

Aether blushes but stays, resting his head back on Xiao’s shoulder. He isn’t sure if he imagined it, but he thinks he feels Xiao brush his lips on his forehead. 

They stay like that until the sun rises, the silence comfortable as they watch light pinks and oranges paint the sky. Despite wanting to stay in this moment forever, Aether knows he has to continue onwards and face reality once more. Exhaling quietly, he gently nuzzles into Xiao’s neck and whispers, “I have to pick up Paimon. She must be worried sick.”

“Mm,” Xiao hums in response, securing Aether more firmly before he’s rising smoothly with him in his arms. 

“X-Xiao!” Aether stutters in surprise, his arms wrapping tightly around Xiao’s neck at the sudden movement.

“Your consumption of alcohol the previous night was substantial,” Xiao says by way of explanation, “Are you able to stand?”

“I-I’m fine. I can walk,” Aether says, a familiar heat on his cheeks. Besides a small headache, he doesn’t feel particularly hungover. 

“If you insist.” Xiao puts him down gently. “I will escort you to the harbor.”

They walk in comfortable silence towards the city, their arms occasionally brushing against each other, but neither takes the initiative to make any further contact. As they crest over the familiar hill right before the gates into the harbor, Aether slows to a stop to turn to Xiao.

“I know you don’t particularly like going into the harbor, so we can part here.”

Xiao stares at him with his arms crossed. “You are headed to Inazuma next,” he states more than asks. 

Aether nods, a new determination in his eyes, and then it softens as he steps closer to the yaksha.

“Thank you, Xiao, for last night. For everything. Your support means more than you could ever know.” Aether lifts a hand slightly as if to…caress Xiao’s face? Touch him? Hold his hand? He isn’t sure, but he stops before he makes contact. He hesitates and eventually thinks better of it, lowering his hand back down instead.

His breath hitches however when Xiao catches his wrist, his fingers gently running down the length of Aether’s glove and then lacing their fingers together. The yaksha squeezes his hand before he’s pulling Aether into an embrace, crushing the traveler against him. 

“If you encounter a difficult situation, don't be stubborn,” Xiao murmurs lowly into Aether’s ear, “Call my name. I will make it right. I will be there, anytime, anywhere.”

Aether’s heart stutters at his words and he idly wonders if all this blushing and heart palpitations were bad for his overall health. Melting into the hug, Aether’s arms wrap firmly around Xiao’s slim waist. He shamelessly buries his face into Xiao’s shoulders and inhales his scent of qingxins, earth, and wind. 

“I will.” I love you, he almost blurts. Instead, Aether closes his eyes and commits this moment into his memory forever. 

And this time, when he feels Xiao’s lips on his forehead, he knows he isn’t imagining it.

Notes:

Reviews and kudos are appreciated! I really hope you enjoyed it.