Chapter Text
The inhibitor worked well for about an hour. For that period of time Kinn was fully lucid, though still too tired to get off the bed, and he and Tay could talk and even joke around a little.
Tay got himself a cocktail - none for Kinn because who knew how alcohol interacted with everything in his system already - from the bar station downstairs and didn’t feel bad leaving Kinn alone in the bedroom for a bit.
Then there was about half an hour when Kinn was still himself, but just… a lot cuddlier than usual. He wanted extra skin-on-skin contact: leaning against Tay, wrapping an arm around him, lying on his stomach.
Then things got… more intense. Kinn’s sentences became shorter and more succinct, and his hips were moving, anything between rocking gently back and forth and trying to rub parts of himself against any soft surface.
The toy had stayed inside him the whole time, but he began playing with the pump again. Squeezing over and over and then releasing, in a slow but predictable cycle.
Tay started checking his messages every few minutes. He was supposed to get a notification from the helicopter pilot, when Porsche got on board. There was GPS tracking and everything.
“I really need it,” Kinn was whispering after another half hour. His eyes were glassy and his hair was soaked with fresh sweat. “I need it, Tay.”
“I know,” Tay said, kissing Kinn’s forehead, cheeks, nose, trying to calm him down somehow. “Soon, I promise.”
“It’s like there’s something in here,” Kinn said, panting, sliding the palm of his hand over his lower abdomen, halfway between his belly button and his dick. “And it’s broken. It’s all twisted up in a bad way. And it would be so easy to untangle, Tay, I just… I really need it to stop.”
“I know, love, I know,” Tay said, holding Kinn closer. He wasn’t sure what would count as Kinn crossing the line into severe distress. He didn’t want to call the doctor again, but it felt like everything was moving so quickly. At least Kinn was still talking.
“Born to do this shit, can’t even get it fucking right,” Kinn whispered, hiding his face against Tay’s shoulder, squeezing the pump in small increments.
There was more conviction behind that nonsense than the other words, which was worrying. “Hey,” Tay said, trying to lift Kinn’s head up, but Kinn resisted, so Tay settled for caressing his sweaty hair. “Those are some big words to string together considering you’d give up your whole fortune for an alpha cock right now.”
Kinn let out a desperate huff against Tay’s skin and mumbled: “I would.”
“See?” Tay smiled down at him even though he couldn’t see it. “Textbook omega.”
*
At some point Kinn couldn’t make words at all anymore. He was lying on his back, his dry lips parted, knees bent, one hand squeezing and releasing the pump, the other fisted in the sheets, hips moving on the bed with no purpose.
He was flushed all over, panting, letting out soft little intermittent groans. His eyes were half-open. He looked possessed.
Tay needed to cool him down, right now. It couldn’t be long until Porsche arrived, and he just needed Kinn to make it until then. To not pass out or have a heart attack or something. Maybe just a few ice cubes he’d shove into Kinn’s mouth would be enough.
It was a desperate hope, a race against time that he knew he was losing.
He got off the bed, intending to go downstairs - they were absolutely getting some kind of ice dispenser up here - and heard a noise.
There was the murmur of voices. A door opening.
Tay rushed to his phone and saw that he had over twenty notifications. He’d turned the sound off because every time his phone vibrated it made Kinn start begging again.
Thirteen messages from Porsche, asking how they were doing. One from the helicopter pilot, the rest from the GPS tracking app. The last one from seven minutes ago, landing on the roof of the building.
By the time he looked up the door to the bedroom was being pushed open.
Porsche.
He was here, tall and tired-looking, a bag slung over his shoulder, which he dropped on the floor as soon as he stepped inside.
Porsche.
“You’re here,” Tay said, and even saying those words felt like putting down a whole sack of bricks.
Porsche took one look at the bed, where Kinn was eerily still, eyes locked on Porsche, hips frozen mid-motion. Then Porsche looked at Tay again, and took the two steps necessary for them to be next to each other.
Porsche’s arms wrapped around Tay, pulling him into a hug, and Tay wasn’t sure what was happening but he wasn’t complaining. Porsche’s body felt so good, so comforting, so strong. Like a solid foundation after struggling through quicksand for ages.
“He smells so ripe he’s practically rotten,” Porsche whispered into Tay’s ear.
Tay laughed. “That’s a fair assessment.” He couldn’t smell anything unusual, but he’d been with Kinn almost from the start. The whole apartment was probably drenched in his heat scent by now.
Tay let himself fully lean on Porsche’s shoulder, since Porsche didn’t seem to be letting go. “He really needs you.”
“Yeah,” Porsche said, pressing his lips to the side of Tay’s head. “You’re not looking so hot either.”
“I have no interest in your knot, presently,” Tay said into Porsche’s shirt. “Promise.”
“You still look like you’ve been up for days,” Porsche said. “Please tell me it hasn’t been actual days.”
Tay couldn’t argue with Porsche’s assessment - he certainly felt like he’d been up for days. “I found out about it last night,” he said, trying to think back to the exact timing of the phone call. “It probably started… not too long before that.”
That made Porsche draw away so he could meet Tay’s eyes. “How did you find out?”
Tay tried to think of the quickest way of summarizing events without wasting time on details but without lying to Porsche either.
“He didn’t tell you, did he?” Porsche asked, when Tay took too long to put together an answer. “He just didn’t fucking tell you.”
“I… got a call,” Tay said. “From his therapist.” Technically Kinn could hear them, but realistically he wasn’t sure Kinn was too focused on words right now.
Porsche held Tay close again. “We’ll talk about it later,” his arms wrapped tightly around Tay’s back. “I can’t believe you managed to keep him in one piece.”
“Barely,” Tay whispered.
Porsche pulled away and bent to kiss Tay, unhurried and passionate and thorough. Like reassurance. Like gratitude. Like reminding Tay he wasn’t alone in this.
Which was like a warm, satisfying liquor pouring down Tay’s throat, making all the tension slowly bleed out of his body.
“OK,” Porsche said, a little breathless, when they pulled apart. “OK.” His erection was now very obvious in his jeans, pressed against Tay’s hip.
*
Porsche had been so calm and collected when he first entered the bedroom, so patient in making time for Tay, it was a little jarring to see him completely change gears as soon as he turned his attention to Kinn.
Within moments Porsche had pulled off his shirt, jeans and underwear, and stood next to the bed, where Kinn had been watching him, unblinking, with wide, dark eyes.
Porsche reached out one hand to grab Kinn’s ankle and pull on it, encouraging Kinn to slide down further on the bed, and it was like Kinn was released from the spell keeping him immobile since Porsche had walked into the room.
Kinn scrambled to move down the bed, obeying Porsche’s unspoken instructions. Which ended with Kinn lying flat on his back, legs spread around Porsche’s hips, while Porsche was upright and pressed against the foot of the bed.
Tay saw Porsche’s hand slide down between Kinn’s legs, and remembered that he didn’t have to stand here, in the middle of the room, observing. He’d been too mesmerized, too relieved at what he was seeing, to move, but if he did he could join them on the bed.
A much better and more fun place for him to be.
Kinn’s mouth parted around a moan, while Tay situated himself, and it became clear Porsche’s hand was wrapped around the flared end of the toy inside him.
“Trying to replace me?” Porsche asked, jokingly, with a wry smile, while his other hand lifted up one of Kinn’s legs so Porsche could bend down and press his lips to Kinn’s knee.
“No, no, I swear,” Kinn panted, as if desperate for Porsche to believe him. Oh he was gone.
“This thing’s gonna have to come out,” Porsche said, and Tay thought the only reason Porsche hadn’t pulled it out yet was because he didn’t know how upsetting it would be for Kinn to lose the thing that was filling up his insides.
“There’s a valve,” Tay began to say. “You can let the air out, it’ll be easier–”
“I don’t think so,” Porsche said, not taking his eyes off Kinn. “I think we do this quick, like a bandaid. Yeah?”
Kinn squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.
“Three,” Porsche said, his hand still between Kinn’s legs. “Two, one.” His hand made a sharp movement and Kinn wailed, biting his bottom lip and fisting his hands in the sheets. “Please,” he was begging on the next breath. “Please, no, no, I need it, please, please.” His eyes were still squeezed shut and there was already wetness gathering in the corners.
“Just, one sec,” Porsche was saying, as he tossed the toy, dripping with Kinn’s fluids, on the floor next to the bed. “Kinn, almost there–”
“No, please, please, it hurts, please,” Kinn kept saying, the volume rising on each word, and then Porsche did something else between Kinn’s legs, and Porsche’s hips made a sharp movement and suddenly Kinn was still.
Eyes wide open, lips parted, chest completely motionless, no air coming in or out.
Porsche’s hips began to move, slowly, and his hands were roaming Kinn’s chest, as if trying to massage the life back into him. “How does that feel?” Porsche asked, though he didn’t sound like he wanted a detailed answer. More like he was just trying to get Kinn to focus, to react.
“More… please…” Kinn gasped, as if Porsche’s cock wasn’t literally already inside him. “Please…”
“Going to give you everything, baby,” Porsche said, sounding a fraction more relaxed, as his hips kept moving at a steady pace. “Every last inch, I promise.”
It was ridiculous, how hot it was to hear Porsche say it, even though he was stating the obvious. Kinn had a gift for dirty talk, but Porsche could just describe what was actually happening and somehow Tay felt himself get hard again.
“Nghn,” Kinn said, a sound that wasn’t really words and wasn’t just moaning either, like the words got scrambled somewhere on the way from his brain to his mouth.
Porsche’s cock really was magic. It was amazing to witness from this angle, without Tay being caught up in his own heat. Porsche’s hips kept driving into Kinn, slow enough for Kinn to feel it, fast enough to not linger on any specific spot for too long.
Kinn looked like some wet towel, crumpled in the corner, that was being slowly, carefully spread out on a flat surface. All the kinks and creases loving, insistently straightened out, bit by bit.
Tay could practically feel what Kinn was probably feeling on the inside. All that delicious pressure against his inner walls, the cock rubbing against his sensitive prostate on every stroke, the feeling of something pulling out of him only to push back in, over and over. Porsche’s sheer size. It felt so good during a heat, stretching that tight rim, stimulating the nerves there.
Tay was so fucking hard, watching Kinn slowly regain coherency on Porsche’s cock.
But right now wasn't about him. He tried to remind his cock that he’d already come several times in this bed, thanks to Kinn’s stubborn antics. He settled for touching himself a little, just to take the edge off, while his focus remained on his boyfriends.
Kinn’s eyes were closed, and his hands were spread out on the sheets, fingers curled loosely. He was mumbling something on every stroke, sounds and moans and pleas, until eventually it all coalesced into one word.
“Porsche,” Kinn was saying, like a dreamy fantasy. Like a prayer. “Porsche…”
Tay never thought for a second it would be anything but delightful to watch the two of them during a heat, while he himself was unaffected. But the reality of it was beyond what he could have imagined. There was something so blissful about this. So right. Watching the two of them give each other pleasure, utterly lost in this basic, biological need.
Tay leaned down to press kisses against Kinn’s forehead, his cheeks, just to let out some of the tenderness he was feeling.
Kinn smiled, and kept mumbling Porsche’s name, and then for a few strokes of Porsche’s hips he was quiet, and then his eyes flew open, full of distress.
Tay pulled away, sitting up, feeling the tension slam back into Kinn’s body out of nowhere.
“Porsche,” Kinn said, panting. “You’re here… Porsche, I’m so sorry!”
Porsche’s hips stuttered for a moment, though he didn’t completely lose his rhythm. He clearly hadn’t been expecting that to come out of Kinn’s mouth.
“Porsche, you have to know,” Kinn mumbled, and there were tears in his eyes, like a flash flood. “You have to know how sorry I am…”
Oh, this was not good. Not good at all.
“I…” Porsche began, clearly lost for words. “It’s… I know, you don’t have to, that is…”
Tay could practically see the thoughts cross Porsche’s head - he wasn’t exactly fully lucid himself, and he really thought Kinn was trying to have a conversation with him.
Tay would bet Kinn barely knew where he was right now, or what time of day it was. He could be getting fucked on a luxury yacht in broad daylight and he wouldn’t know the difference.
“I’m sorry,” Kinn kept saying, as if taking Porsche’s uncertainty as confirmation of his own wrongdoing. “I’m so sorry.” He shook his head vigorously, his eyes so watery he couldn’t blink the tears away fast enough. “I hurt you, I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s OK,” Porsche said, sounding desperate to make Kinn stop. “How good does this feel? Huh?”
“My fault,” Kinn went on, fists clenched. “Couldn’t… didn’t mean to…” His face was red and sweaty and he took in gasping, labored breaths, like he could barely get the words out.
Porsche’s eyes locked with Tay’s, questioning and unsure. His hips were slowing down to a stop. All the confidence he’d had coming into their bedroom a little while ago was gone.
He hadn’t been prepared for Kinn to be like this.
During Tay’s last heat, a lot of it had been Porsche sobbing in his arms as they fucked. Tay sobbing due to the relief of having them back, after days not knowing whether they were still alive.
But Porsche probably didn’t remember it like that. He’d been so traumatized, he’d wanted to drown himself in Tay’s body, in the heat and the rut, he’d wanted so desperately to feel good. And Tay had been more than happy to help. They’d made each other feel good, made each other forget, as much as was possible, for that brief time.
This moment reminded Tay of that, but for Porsche it was probably entirely different. He’d been so messed up, so lost. And now it was the opposite. Kinn was lost, but Porsche had probably spent the entire journey home making sure he was mentally solid, focused enough to give Kinn what he needed.
He’d probably told himself he had to bury all his issues about his family, his mother, any complicated feelings he had about Kinn, before he set foot in their home again. Because a heat was no time for hashing things out.
And now he was supposed to fuck Kinn while Kinn was dragging all of this shit back up again, crying, begging Porsche for some kind of generic forgiveness?
That was not going to work.
“OK, Hold on, one second,” Tay said, getting off the bed and rushing over to the closet.
Kinn just needed to calm the fuck down, and Tay had a wild idea for what might get him there.
Neither he nor Kinn were big fans of belts, even as purely decorative items, but the small section of the closet occupied by Porsche’s clothes actually did have one boring, plain black belt that he probably paired with his ill-fitting jeans once upon a time.
When Tay came back into the bedroom things had gone from bad to worse. Porsche was bent over Kinn, trying to kiss him or whisper something to him, but Kinn was even more agitated than before, the sobs rocking his entire body.
“Kinn!” Tay said, climbing back on the bed and grabbing Kinn’s hair to get his attention. Kinn’s eyes briefly focused on Tay. “Turn over. Lie on your front.”
It was a big ask, considering Kinn was wrapped up around Porsche like a jungle vine, and from the lack of anguished wailing Tay was pretty sure Porsche was still inside him.
“Porsche,” Tay said, looking over at Porsche’s confused, helpless expression. “Come on, help him.”
“Uh,” Porsche said, clearly trying to get his bearings, before he backed off and tried to lower Kinn’s legs back to the bed somehow, to make the change in position easier.
It was impossible to do, in the end, without Porsche pulling out for a moment, so they could help Kinn roll over. Kinn went along with it, until Porsche’s cock was no longer inside him, and then he let out a loud, angry, animalistic sound.
But at least Kinn was lying on his stomach, feet on the floor, and it took barely the space of a breath for Porsche to push back inside him, making the sounds stop.
Tay grabbed Kinn’s wrists and held them in the small of Kinn’s back. He didn’t actually know how to tie someone up with a belt - in his anti-kidnapping training they’d only covered how to get himself free - but it wasn’t like he really needed Kinn to be immobilized.
“This is how you’re going to make it right,” Tay said, struggling to wrap the belt around Kinn’s wrists. “This is going to be your punishment.” He finally managed to buckle the belt so it wouldn’t slip off Kinn’s wrists.
Tay looked at Porsche, as he applied pressure, pushing Kinn’s bound wrists into Kinn’s back.
He needed Porsche to know this wasn’t serious. It was just a stupid idea to get Kinn to shut up long enough for Porsche to knot him, so they could all take one single long breath and hopefully get some sanity back into this bedroom.
He couldn’t say all of that, though, so he tried to give Porsche the most pleading, most open look he could.
Porsche understood violence. Not as well as the people Kinn paid to keep them safe, maybe, but well enough to know this wasn’t it. It was just a game, a charade similar to ones they’ve played before. Just another scenario to make the darkness in Kinn’s head settle. To let him get out of his own way.
Porsche gave Tay a tiny nod, licking his bottom lip, as if bracing himself.
Oh, thank fuck.
“Listen,” Tay said, turning his attention back to Kinn. “Porsche was angry at you, but you’re making it up to him. You feel this? It means you’re off the hook.”
He wasn’t even sure the words added up into coherent sentences, but he thought they would make some intuitive sense to Kinn.
“He’s going to let it go, just this once,” Tay went on. “As long as you pay for it. Right now, like this. You pay for all the bad things.”
Already, Kinn was calmer. He was still crying, but the violent sobs had stopped. Tay would wager the position helped too. It was easier when he didn’t have to look at Porshce’s face while Porsche was giving him all that pleasure. Easier to just focus on what his body was feeling.
Porsche put one of his hands on top of Tay’s, on Kinn’s back. “That’s right,” he said, sounding a little hoarse. Like he was struggling to get the words out. “You’re making it up to me. That’s good, right?”
A little too much uncertainty in his tone, but it would have to do.
A part of Tay couldn’t believe Kinn had been right. They’d gotten Porsche here, and there was a price to pay. Everything was still so raw, for all of them. There was no way to do this and leave everyone unscathed.
Porsche started moving his hips again. The first thrust was small and careful, but Tay could already hear the relief in Kinn’s voice when he moaned.
“Tell me this feels good,” Porsche said, after a few thrusts, as if Kinn’s progressively louder and more pornographic moaning wasn’t enough of an indication. As if he truly needed the reassurance, given how fucked up it was to fuck Kinn as ‘punishment’.
Tay kept his hands on Kinn’s wrists, pressing them down just enough for Kinn to feel the weight, while Porsche’s hands were on Kinn’s hips, fingers caressing the skin between each deep thrust.
“So good,” Kinn said, high-pitched and breathless. He let out a few more helpless moans and then a particularly loud one, accompanied by a full body shudder.
It only took a few minutes for Porsche to come, after that, and he groaned Kinn’s name on an exhale before heroically not collapsing on top of him.
Tay could tell the exact moment Porsche’s knot started to grow. Not by Kinn’s reaction, ironically, but by Porsche’s face. During Tay’s last heat he’d learned to spot a particular relaxation of the jaw, a certain blissful look around the eyes when it happened.
It made him realize how much he missed that feeling of Porsche growing inside of him, filling him up so tight Tay felt like he’d burst. It had felt so good every time, thinking about it made him want to be in heat again.
Which was… new. For a long, long time Tay had been pretty neutral about his heat. There were good years, with Time, when he’d yearned for it. Loved the connection, the all-consuming pleasure. But after that, it had become just a part of his routine, something he tried to enjoy as much as possible, but not something he obsessed over.
Right now he felt on the edge of wanting it desperately again. How amazing it would feel to be stretched open by Porsche, to have Kinn by his side. To feel Porsche’s massive knot inside him, to squeeze his inner muscles around that hardness. Was it healthy to be obsessed with your alpha’s knot? There were probably plenty of magazines that said so. Tay felt like it was a different question, now that he was nearly thirty, than when he and Time were originally getting wrapped up in each other.
Whatever, now was not the time.
Instead of looking blissfully relaxed, Porsche looked like he was struggling to stay upright, knot buried in Kinn, who was practically passed out on the bed.
Which made sense, because standing up while knotting someone was a terrible idea.
Tay untied the belt and let Kinn’s hands slide back down to the mattress - it caused a faint sound of protest from Kinn that Tay pointedly ignored. Eventually, hopefully soon, Kinn would get his brain back.
“Come on, lie down, you can be careful,” Tay said, encouraging Porsche to lean over Kinn’s back. He couldn’t fully rest his weight on him for the five or ten minutes it would take the knot to go down, but he could at least not have to support all of his own body weight when his muscles were turning to jelly.
Porsche shook his head. “It’s fine,” His breath was still coming in urgent, short bursts. “I can do it like this.”
Ugh, this is what heat distress got you. Bad options and inconveniences all around.
He couldn’t watch Porsche struggle to maintain control and mental focus after everything. He deserved a minimum of comfort before Kinn’s greedy lidibo demanded his services again.
“I’ve done it standing up before,” Porsche said, as if to answer Tay’s concern. He sounded exhausted. “Not a lot, but… sometimes it can’t be avoided.”
With paying clients, sure. Not in his own bedroom.
“You weren’t in a rut back then,” Tay said. “Come on, he can take some of the weight. If you can stay upright you can be careful enough. I’ll make sure he survives.”
Porsche huffed out an amused sound as he carefully lowered himself until his chest was against Kinn’s back, sighing with the comfort of no longer having all his weight on his legs.
Tay pushed the sweaty hair from Porsche’s forehead. He wasn’t soaked like Kinn, but he’d worked up a sweat.
Kinn’s eyes were closed, and aside from his heavy breathing he looked completely checked out. Porsche closed his eyes slowly, letting out a little moan, probably as Kinn’s muscles were squeezing him on the inside.
Tay kept stroking Porsche’s hair, gently. He loved both of them so much. He wanted them to be OK. With each other, with themselves, with him. He wanted it so desperately, but there were so few things he could do to make sure it happened.
He just had to trust, had to hope, that they would find a way to sort it all out. That when the dust settled everything between the three of them would still work, like before.
Trust and hope were a shitty strategy. He didn’t need his brother’s business degree to know that.
*
When the knot went down, and Porsche finally pulled out of Kinn so they could rearrange themselves, it caused Kinn to emit only a minor whimper. Which was definitely progress.
Porsche climbed on the bed and stretched out, spreading his arms and legs, letting his body move the way it wanted to. His cock wasn’t fully hard, but not soft either. He looked like he was maybe three minutes away from wanting to go again.
Tay bent down to kiss Kinn, see what sort of noises he was capable of making, help him turn over and get more comfortable.
He hoped the charade with the belt was over, but he couldn’t say whether Kinn was fully back to himself.
The levels of distress overall, though, seemed lower. It was like everything in Kinn’s body had been screaming at him, but now that he’d had a knot things were settling down again.
When Tay helped Kinn turn over he expected the sheets underneath to be soaked with sweat, and maybe some of Kinn’s slick.
What he didn’t expect was to see traces of what had to be Kinn’s come.
There were white, sticky traces on the fabric and all over Kinn’s stomach, where Porsche’s come couldn’t have gotten.
Kinn didn’t seem to be aware of it, still staring at the ceiling with a distant, pleasure-filled look, that made Tay certain Kinn was calculating in his head when he could get fucked again.
When Tay looked over he could see Porsche, sitting back on his heels, staring at Kinn’s stomach as well.
This was… new. There was a sense of relief, like a breath Tay hadn’t known he’d been holding in the back of his mind, that Kinn’s body still functioned like this during heat. Coming purely - or at least primarily - from prostate stimulation, it was… certainly a data point.
“Fuck me,” Kinn said, head turning to look for Porsche. “Can you…?”
“Yeah,” Porsche said, quickly recovering from the brief moment of shock. Tay could see he was fully hard again. “Come here, let’s try it with you sitting on me this time.”
*
It was easy to lose track of time. After each cycle of fucking-and-knotting Porsche looked progressively more worn out and Kinn looked progressively calmer and more coherent and at some point when the sun started coming up over Bangkok Tay made sure all the window covers were down so the light didn’t interfere with the little bubble they had going.
So, it was impossible to tell what time it was when Tay woke up - he didn’t even remember falling asleep - lying next to Kinn and hearing Porsche speak quietly on the other side of the bed.
The overhead lights were off, leaving only one of the bedside lamps and faint traces of daylight peaking through the seams of the windows.
“Tell me what’s in your head,” Porsche was saying. His hand was on the back of Kinn’s head. Tay must have dozed off during one of their knotting sessions, which were becoming longer and more mellow. He was pressed against Kinn’s back, while Kinn and Porsche were facing each other.
Tay could feel more than see Kinn gently shaking his head. Porsche’s fingers lazily combed through his hair.
“Just tell me one story,” Porsche said. “One scenario. Please. There’s an omega named Nok. Tell me what happens?”
Oh shit, this was… Porsche was doing this for real. Kinn was more coherent now, but still in heat, and Porsche was trying to fish this out of him with the most loving of hooks. Tay had never taken an approach this direct - getting into Kinn’s head about this was more about observing the evidence than expecting Kinn to provide the details.
But that was then. Before moving out, before getting a regular heat cycle, before getting kidnapped. Before therapy.
Maybe this had a chance of working. Porsche wouldn’t be asking, probably, if he didn’t think the chances were pretty reasonable.
Tay could both see and feel Kinn’s sides rising and falling with his breath. Could hear how labored it was suddenly, like there was less oxygen in the room.
“They… they bend him over,” Kinn said, the words coming out like a stutter, and Tay was glad Kinn was facing away from him, because the shock at hearing this would be impossible to hide. “Tie up his hands. They hit him. Everywhere.”
Porsche’s hand was just as relaxed, on the back of Kinn’s head, still carding through his hair at a leisurely pace.
Tay felt like his own heart was about to jump out of his throat. He couldn’t believe Kinn was finally giving these things in his head a voice, but at the same time a ridiculous part of him wanted to protect Kinn from this moment. From digging into the parts he’d always tried to hide - the parts Tay had always tried to drag closer to the light - that had caused Kinn so much pain.
“They tie up his legs, as far apart as they go,” Kinn went on, after a small pause. It sounded like he was trying to force himself to speak, negotiating with his own mind about what words he could live with. “They force him to take a knot.”
It was Porsche who spoke next. “Is he in heat?”
Shit. Tay could guess the answer to that.
Kinn’s breathing got even harsher. He shook his head.
Tay moved closer to Kinn, kissed the side of his neck, ran his hands over Kinn’s arm. He wanted Kinn to know for certain that Tay was awake. That he was here, hearing this, loving Kinn actively and physically and thoroughly after hearing the words.
Porsche moved closer too, until they were practically smothering Kinn with their bodies, though his breath now was calmer than a minute ago.
“I think…” Porsche said, this time closer to a whisper. “I can… smell how wet you are, right now.”
Kinn nodded his head vigorously, already lifting one leg over Porsche’s hip and repositioning himself. Pressed together this close Tay could actually feel the moment Porsche slid into him.
“Please, please,” Kinn kept saying, faintly, dreamily, as Porsche grunted and moaned and fucked him at a steady, unhurried pace.
The heat was drawing to a close, Tay could feel it. Kinn was just so exhausted on top of it, he was still loopy and unfocused. Maybe Tay could find some sedative in the medicine cabinet to slip into Kinn’s next hydration opportunity, because if when this ended the sun was still out and Kinn tried to catch up on work Tay might actually murder him.
It was taking longer and longer for Porsche to knot, but when he finally did this time, Kinn’s pleas turned more desperate.
“Please, I need… Please…” he kept saying, gasping for breath in between words while Porsche was lying against him, spent, with his eyes closed.
Tay lifted himself to get a good look between their bodies and realized Kinn was hard. He’d come several already. But now that Tay had a moment to think about it, the more the heat waned the longer it took for Kinn to come. The last time had been while Porsche’s knot was growing inside him.
This time that wasn’t enough.
Fuck, this basically confirmed Kinn’s body was absolutely fine with having an orgasm, as long as a knot was involved.
How were they going to navigate that one, in the aftermath?
It was another data point, Tay told himself. They’d give it to Kinn’s doctors - which Kinn was going to love, no doubt - and let them come up with something. Maybe they’d make him a special viagra that simulated a knot being inside him.
“Come here,” Tay said, kissing Kinn’s shoulder and sliding his hand to wrap around Kinn’s hard cock.
Kinn gasped, and Tay started jerking him in quick, tight motions, slick with all the fluids Kinn and Porsche - and Tay, to a lesser extent - were covered in.
“Give me,” Tay said, kissing up Kinn’s neck. “I want it, Kinn.” He could feel it wouldn’t take long, Kinn’s hips were trying to follow Tay’s motions despite being held still by Porsche’s knot. “Give it to me,” Tay said, watching a grimace of concentration distort Kinn’s face for just a moment before he groaned loudly and shuddered, coming all over Tay’s hand.
Porsche gave a small, defenseless moan at that, as Kinn’s muscles squeezed even tighter around his knot.
Tay stared down at his hand for a moment. It had been so long since they’d done this, just him jerking Kinn off, feeling the weight of his erection, feeling the warm, wet come leaving his body.
For whatever reason it made him think about the first time they’d ever done this. In a bathroom stall, at school. Tay had had an embarrassing erection and didn’t want to go to class, so Kinn stood outside and told him to just take care of it and he’d make sure no one came in. And by the time Tay flushed the mess down the toilet and opened the door Kinn was hard too, looking flustered, and Tay had rolled his eyes and told him to do the same, and helped, until both their hands were covered in come.
And then they went to math class. It wasn’t a big deal, they were best friends. A month earlier they’d all gotten so drunk at a party Time had literally pissed himself, and Kinn had helped him discreetly get a new pair of pants.
It was what friends were for.
And besides, they’d had to be more careful with Time, but between Kinn and Tay that shit didn’t count. They were both omegas. Tay’s heart raced when he watched older, shirtless alpha boys drag themselves up from the pool. But with Kinn it was just comfort, just a friendly favor.
Maybe he should have looked closer, back then, at the idea that Kinn had stood outside that stall and gotten an erection from listening to Tay jerk off.
In the present, Porsche stared at Tay’s come-covered hand as well, before wrapping his fingers around Tay’s wrist and bringing the hand closer to his mouth.
He licked and sucked Kinn’s come off Tay’s skin, right in front of Kinn’s face. “Hmm,” Porsche said in between little mouthfuls. “You know, this tastes totally different to me now. Because of the heat.”
Tay was about to ask Porsche whether it was like that with Tay’s come too, or if somehow Kinn was different, or maybe it was just the passage of time that increased and deepened these effects between them, but then he realized Kinn was crying.
Kinn’s eyes were wet and glistening in the faint light, and he was trying to hold in a quiet sob in his chest, holding his breath along with it.
He was staring at Tay’s hand, and Porsche’s mouth, and Tay couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. The heat was receding, real life was creeping back in, and he was watching them lick off his come when he hadn’t been able to get hard in weeks. What did that mean about tomorrow? Next week? Next month?
There was such a tangle in his pretty head, Tay could see. He looked so raw and vulnerable, so many layers stripped from him by this heat and their concern for him and his own attempts to care for them as best he could. Heat was always a lot, always overwhelming, but Kinn didn’t even have a way of calibrating for it yet. No way to set expectations, no way to pace himself.
“Oh, baby,” Tay said, and wrapped himself around Kinn, careful not to disturb where he and Porsche were connected, and also not make it any harder for Kinn to breathe.
Porsche did the same, both of them holding Kinn and letting him cry, letting the sobs leave him in the darkness, kissing him until all three of them could taste the tears running down his face.
*
At some point all three of them passed out. When Tay woke up again he could tell it was nighttime, and that something in the room had changed. Porsche wasn’t on the bed anymore.
Tay could hear the shower running.
Kinn was still dead to the world when Porsche emerged, looking run down and exhausted, with a towel around his hips. He walked to the closet to start rifling through clean clothes, moving at half his usual speed.
Tay sat up in bed, still filthy.
There was no point in asking whether Porsche was sure that Kinn’s heat was over. There was no doubt about it, even for Tay. Ironically, Kinn had burned so hot that once he got his first knot the heat was over in less than a day.
Porsche pulled on a shirt, to Tay’s utter dismay, although at least it jostled the towel so it fell to the floor. Porsche’s ass was magnificent as always.
“We’ve both been leaning on you pretty hard,” Porsche said, turning back to look at Tay, briefly, before rifling through a drawer for clean underwear. “You don’t deserve all this drama.”
It sounded like Porsche was trying to apologize for leaving, without actually having to say the words.
“I wouldn’t call it drama,” Tay said. “It’s… your life, Porsche. I’m here for that. Always.”
“Yeah, well,” Porsche said, pulling on a pair of briefs and turning to face Tay again. “If it’s not everything I know about my childhood being a lie, it’s Kinn trying to act like heats don’t happen to him.” Porsche’s cock was still noticeably bigger than it usually was when soft. Tay remembered that happening to Time too. It was like swelling that happened during a rut and took a while to go down. Usually an alpha didn’t leave the bedroom until his cock was at least back to normal. Nevermind a bedroom that contained two entire omegas.
Please don’t go, Tay didn’t say. Please, stay, for me.
“I’m sorry it happened like this,” Tay said, instead. “That you had to fly out here. I know you were in the middle of things, over there.”
“Yeah,” Porsche said, sounding more fragile than at any previous point. “I… I think I found someone who might be able to help her. I need to go back to this monastery tomorrow morning, they’re having a ceremony…”
Tay climbed off the bed and walked over to him as Porsche kept talking, hesitating for a moment before he pressed his unclean skin against Porsche’s body.
Porsche went quiet when Tay’s arms wrapped around him. Slowly, he lowered his head to rest on Tay’s shoulder. His arms were slumped at his sides.
“I just…” Porsche whispered, pausing as he was searching for the words. “I’m not sure who I am anymore.”
Oh. Yeah. Tay could see how recent events would make Porsche feel that way.
“I’m just going to say it,” Tay said, quietly. “Even though know it already. We both want you here, always, no matter who you are. We miss you.”
“I’m really fucked up, Tay,” Porsche said, into Tay’s shoulder.
“That’s good,” Tay said, running a hand up Porsche’s back. “That you’re not trying to pretend like you’re fine. Anyone would be fucked up, to discover what you did.”
“I spent months at a mental hospital, as a kid,” Porsche said. Tay already knew this, but he understood why Porsche kept coming back to it in his mind. “I’m still not sure… what they did. Kinn got me all the medical records, I still… I can’t make myself read them.”
Tay held Porsche’s body even tighter, as a remedy for how tight Tay’s own chest felt at those words. He wasn’t sure what the right thing to say would be. “You don’t have to. Not now, not… not ever. There’s no rush. The past is only as important as you want it to be. Even now.”
Porsche was quiet for a long time. “He makes it really hard to be the strong, silent type,” he sighed. “Practically looks like drinking poison, when he does it.”
Tay couldn’t help a snort of laughter. At least Kinn was good at leading by negative example.
“He really didn’t want to burden you,” Tay said, pulling away so Porsche could see he meant what he was saying. “It made him a little stupid. A little insane.”
“His balls look…” Porsche began. “He flinched a little, when I tried to touch.”
Yeah, the swelling from the shot hadn’t entirely gone down. And the area did still look tender. Tay wasn’t sure Porsche would notice, but he should have known Porsche would spot every detail in the body of an omega he was knotting.
“Things got… rough, for a bit,” Tay said, not sure how many details to go into, how much to burden Porsche with the mental images.
“He got the shot,” Porsche said, shaking his head. “I knew it.” At Tay’s look of surprise he added: “I got called into an emergency situation once or twice. The kind of thing where it was me or some randomly assigned alpha nurse at the hospital. I never saw them do it, but I know about the temporary shot. They usually asked me not to touch their balls.”
“Amazing that they were coherent enough to tell you that,” Tay said, wondering how that worked. “If things got that bad.”
“They didn’t usually wait to fly me in from Chiang Mai,” Porsche sighed.
“Yeah,” Tay said. “It just… it got bad really quickly. And then he wasn’t really… He couldn’t be rational anymore…”
“He shouldn’t have to be rational,” Porsche said, sounding wounded. “It shouldn’t… shouldn’t be this complicated.”
Tay did let out a little laugh at that. Not complicated wasn’t Kinn’s style. He’d given up on ‘not complicated’ when he realized he wanted to go from dating an alpha to dating his omega best friend. “Trust me, this is the healthiest relationship he’s ever been in.”
“The worst part is that I’m pretty sure you’re right,” Porsche said, shaking his head. “Which is fucked up because… I don’t think I can be here for the recovery. I… I need to go. Is that healthy? Is it what a good boyfriend would do? A good alpha?”
It was suddenly clear that this thought was responsible for the tension in Porsche’s body. For the conflicted, closed off, guilty look in his eyes.
“Who the fuck makes the rules, Porsche?” Tay asked, as gently as he could, because it was the second time he’d heard Porsche measuring himself against some imagined alpha ideal in as many days and he didn’t want to just ignore it. He’d always loved that Porsche was the kind of alpha who didn’t give a shit about who an alpha was supposed to be. “Kinn wouldn’t want you to stay. He wants you to put yourself first right now. That’s what all his bullshit’s been about, since his heat started.”
Tay wasn’t sure how Kinn would actually react to coming down from the heat without Porsche, but since he survived a needle to the nutsack he would surely survive having only one boyfriend to nurse him through recovery.
Porsche took a shuddering breath, rubbed his hands over his face. “There’s a flight in two hours. I can make it if I leave soon. There’s not a lot of traffic right now.”
Right. Porsche knew about flights and transportation, because he’d been up for a while, showering, getting dressed, about to leave. What would have happened if Tay hadn’t woken up when he did? Would Porsche had left them a note?
It hurt, like a physical injury, to think of him leaving them just like that.
But this was painful for Porsche too, Tay reminded himself. He hadn’t chosen this. Not having his whole life rearranged out of the blue, not Kinn going into heat. He was trying to make the best of an impossible situation.
Porsche looked up at the ceiling and Tay realized he was trying to blink away tears. “Fuck, I can’t do this. Chay’s counting on me, she’s counting on me, it’s been like twenty years and I just, I can’t see how–”
“Shh,” Tay said, already feeling guilty for letting his hurt feelings steer his expression even for a moment. “You need to go. Do you need a ride to the airport?” It seemed like Porsche already had it all figured out but Tay wanted to at least offer something.
Porsche shook his head, looking down again. He seemed to get himself under control. Tay’s heart ached a little, at that. He suddenly wanted Porsche gone. Off to a place where everyone’s expectations were purely theoretical, where he could be alone with his thoughts, where he could take all the time he needed to process things.
Porsche sighed, closing his eyes briefly. “I can’t leave without kissing him.” He looked down at his legs. “But I need pants to do that. And shoes.”
The words didn’t make sense for a moment before Tay realized what Porsche meant. He had to be fully dressed before he woke Kinn up to say goodbye. Fully assembled, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to pull himself away.
Which meant he’d probably meant to say goodbye to Tay in the same way. He’d just wanted to be sure he could make himself leave, before he woke them.
“I can do pants,” Tay said, heading for the pants part of the closet. He’d give Porsche one of Kinn’s luxury lounging sweats. Every pair was a gift, and Kinn never wore them. Perfect for airports.
“I’m not going to kiss you,” Porsche said, sounding mildly apologetic, behind Tay’s back. “Because I keep thinking I want to get you off before I leave, been thinking about it for hours, and it’s just… Kinn’s practically passed out, but with you, it’s just, I don’t think having clothes on will be enough.”
That lit up something warm in Tay’s ribcage, even more than the realization that Porsche had meant to say goodbye and not just leave quietly.
“I promise I’ll think of you next time I get off,” Tay said, turning around with two different pairs of pants in his hands. One that he’d actually recommend and another one that was way less comfortable but more Porsche’s usual style.
Porsche smiled, briefly, and it was such a good expression to see on his face again. “Appreciate it.”
“Promise me you’ll do the same?” Tay smiled back at him, arching an eyebrow suggestively. As if he hadn’t just watched Porsche fuck another omega senseless.
This time Porsche gave a little laugh. “Promise.”
“Good,” Tay said. Maybe he’d ask Kinn to help him, tell him all about Porsche’s body, his knot, while getting Tay off. Probably he’d up for that, in a couple of hours. “Now put on one of these while I wake up Kinn,” he handed the pants over to Porsche. “I want you out of here in five minutes.”