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Objectively, Sapnap was having a pretty great day. He was back in North Carolina, and they’d all gone to a fancy sushi restaurant for lunch before spending several hours at the studio recording Banter. But, if Sapnap was being honest with himself, he was having an absolutely terrible evening.
He supposed the problems had begun as early as midday, when Karl had asked to try some of George’s food. Sapnap tried his best to act unbothered, striking up a conversation with Austin to distract himself from the sight of George hand-feeding Karl salmon nigiri, but his efforts were in vain. Even in his peripheral vision, their excessive amounts of eye contact—as well as the sly hand Karl placed on George’s knee—were crystal clear, utterly impossible to miss.
And somehow, it had only gone downhill from there.
Filming was usually fun. Tiring—with how George always ended up being spectacularly wrong about something and a petty disagreement between them was just inevitable—but enjoyable nonetheless. (His favourite episodes to film were always the ones in which he got to share the couch with Karl, but he’d never admit that aloud to anyone.)
But today was different. Today, he’d left the studio with knots in his stomach and a scowl on his face, one that he must have done a pretty terrible job of hiding.
George made fun of him for the entire journey back to Karl’s, reaching around the passenger headrest to poke Sapnap in the back of the neck and leaning forwards to blow cold breath against the back of his ears.
Yes, it was beyond irritating, but it was far from the worst part of it all. The prodding at his skin was tolerable, agreeable even, when compared to the words that accompanied each and every touch.
By some means, George had figured out the real reason behind Sapnap’s annoyance, and it seemed like he planned on abusing the knowledge until either one of them snapped.
He teased Sapnap for sulking; he put on stupid voices and boasted about how he’d been the one to cuddle Karl on camera. Sapnap tried his best to ignore him, but truthfully he was one more mocking remark away from slapping the shit out of him. Again.
He hoped that it was just being taken as a part of their argumentative dynamic, and he was sure he’d gotten away with it. Karl and Austin were laughing harder at every new string of creative insults they threw in each other’s faces—Sapnap was certain that no one really knew how much the words were affecting him.
That was, at least, until just an hour later.
They were sprawled across Karl’s ridiculously large couch, deciding where to order dinner from. George wanted McDonald’s, but Sapnap had a hold of his ankles, dragging his screeching body away from the phone that rested just out of his reach.
Austin was laughing at them, offering to sit on George’s back to restrain him further, and George made some crude joke that Sapnap didn’t hear, because Karl was looking at him from across the room like he knew something was wrong.
He waited to ask about it until after they’d ordered—George ordering peppers on his pizza like a fucking weirdo, though Sapnap knew it was probably just so no one would steal any of his food.
Karl, on the other hand, insisted he wasn’t that hungry and could just share some of Sapnap’s. If anyone else had suggested sharing food ( especially without asking him first) he almost definitely would’ve said no. But he couldn’t help that a small, stupidly hopeful part of himself was convinced that Karl had said it just for the excuse of sitting side by side as they ate. The idea of that alone was more than enough for him to agree.
They were halfway through their shared pizza, sitting close enough to balance the pizza box across both of their thighs, when Karl turned towards Sapnap, leaning close like his next words were their secret.
“You okay?” Karl whispered.
Sapnap could feel lips barely brushing against his ear, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.
“Yeah, I’m just tired,” Sapnap whispered back, not daring to meet Karl’s eyes when his blush felt like fire across his cheeks, uncontrollable flames that were no doubt spreading down his neck as they spoke.
“Well, we can just go sleep now, if you want.” Karl spoke with hesitancy, though his nervous pauses only confused Sapnap further. Usually, they all passed out together on the sofa in the early hours of the morning; if he went to sleep now, it would have to be with the background noise of the TV. Sensing his doubt, Karl hastily continued, “My room is empty right now, obviously, so we can…”
"Oh," Sapnap said, or rather meant to say. It was more of a sharp exhale than anything else, a breath of realisation that escaped his lungs before he could think to stop it. It made him feel vulnerable. It made him seem considerably more down bad than he was usually willing to let on.
Austin and George were absorbed in conversation, barely batting an eye as the other two got up to leave. But, George still caught Sapnap’s eye as he glanced back at them, raising his eyebrows in the way that said he wanted all the details tomorrow. Stupid karlnapper. But Karl squeezed his hand as they left the room—when had they started holding hands?—and it felt so right that Sapnap realised maybe he was the stupid karlnapper all along.
“Why are you just standing there?” Karl giggled, because now they were in Karl’s room and he was patting the other side of his bed like he wanted Sapnap to settle down beside him.
Sapnap blinked, stumbling over his next step when it dawned on him that Karl did want him close beside him. He was dizzy with the discovery, his mind reeling with each new smile they exchanged and all the places their shoulders pressed together.
Karl leaned his head onto Sapnap"s shoulder as they decided on what to watch, and it felt electric. Refreshing and energising, yet full of anticipation, like the way air always felt before a storm. Sapnap had always liked the sound of the rain, and lightning was undeniably gorgeous, as long as you were safe from its strikes. And, with Karl"s arm tucked close around his waist, he"d honestly never felt safer.
Although, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to that morning, when George had been in a similar position to him—perhaps even closer to Karl than he was.
He knew that his jealousy was unfounded, because George had his own romantic entanglements to be dealing with, ones that definitely didn"t involve Karl Jacobs. Yet, the frustration he felt was impossible to ignore all the same.
But then Karl was pulling him closer still, until they were pressed together from ankle to neck and Sapnap’s head rested on Karl’s chest as the intro to Hunter X Hunter played quietly on the screen in front of them.
About ten minutes passed in silence, at some point in which Karl’s hands had gently pushed off Sapnap’s hat and begun messing with his curls. With Karl’s heartbeat in his ears and his fingers in his hair, his jealousy was far more easily forgotten.
Though, it resurfaced just as quickly when Karl dared to ask, “What was up earlier?”
"I was just being stupid," Sapnap mumbled. He wasn"t usually one to admit fault, but with Karl things like that didn"t seem to matter. Their conversations were comfortable—they could never be anything but honest with each other.
"Jealousy does that to a guy," Karl laughed, clearly joking. Sapnap yearned to tell him how close to the truth he actually was.
And so he did.
"You"re always—" Sapnap started, struggling to find words that were good enough for him. Karl deserved nothing but the best, and Sapnap would forever do all he could to ensure that he got it. "You"re always all over George on camera."
“Does that bother you?” Karl asked, voice gentle as he tucked a stray strand behind Sapnap’s ear.
“A little.”
“What if it was with you, would it bother you then?”
Sapnap hoped that Karl’s eyes were still fixed on the TV, because he felt embarrassingly flustered and his blush was sure to give him away.
“No,” he confessed.
Karl hesitated, shaking his head as though trying to disperse the thoughts within it. Sapnap felt him sit up straighter, heard the quickening of his heartbeat from where his head was still pressed to Karl’s chest.
He felt hands on his jaw, turning his head upwards with careful touch and soft skin.
“What if I said I liked you?” Karl whispered, dragging his thumb over Sapnap’s cheek until it came to rest at the corner of his mouth, “Would that bother you?”
“No,” Sapnap said again, but this time with a smile that Karl kissed straight off his lips.
Karl may have done similar things with George—and the majority of their friends had known what it was like to kiss him first—but Sapnap found that he no longer cared. After all, he knew that he was the only one with whom Karl had truly meant it.