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Kaoruko is excited to have a little at home date night with her girlfriend. They go out too, but Kaoruko can be a little recognizable, what with hero work, and Fuyumi... well, she is a child of Endeavor, maybe not the most well known, but there are bothersome people sometimes. At home dates are the perfect way to relax and not worry about the world!
Except maybe tonight, because even if Fuyumi appears a bit tired when she walks inside and gives Kaoruko a kiss, there are no warning signs before she takes a step in the kitchen…
And promptly bursts out crying.
Kaoruko is by her side in a blink, holding her girlfriend as they both slide slowly down to the floor right there in the kitchen door.
"What happened, Fuyu? What is it?"
Kaoruko moves aside white and red hair and gently removes Fuyumi's glasses so they don't get squished into her face, which is now being buried against her own blue skin.
"It was horrible, Kao. Horrible! A DISASTER!"
"What?!" Kaoruko's eyes go wide and her hands move of their own accord to check her girlfriend for injuries. "What happened, Fuyu, are you alright? Safe?"
Fuyumi sniffles but she nods against Kaoruko's neck, allowing her to marginally relax.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I wasn't even there for the fire—"
"The fire?!"
"—and it didn't even spread, so…"
"Fuyumi." Kaoruko takes her girlfriend's soft squishy cheeks in her hands, finally forcing her to make eye contact. Fuyumi looks okay, if distracted. "What. Happened."
Fuyumi takes a deep breath in. Then slowly lets it out.
"My dad and Shouto. They tried to bake."
1. The Idea
They both came to Fuyumi at the same time, scowling at one another when it became clear that they both wanted to ask her something and were unwilling to wait.
Fuyumi sighed. "Do rock paper scissors. The first to win starts asking, but I will hear you out both, don't worry."
Matching scowls had turned on her, as if to refute the very knowledge that they might be worried. Fuyumi resisted rolling her eyes and watched the first match begin. Shouto's paper beat Enji's rock.
"I need your help, Yumi." Shouto started talking without wasting a second, now completely ignoring their father by his side. "I want to cook something for someone special, and I need you to teach me how."
Fuyumi's eyebrows rose. The request was a bit rude, but... did Shouto have a "special someone" then?
"Fuyumi can't help you," their father barged in, much to Fuyumi's surprise and disappointment, but then he said, "because she has to help me cook something for someone."
The revelation had both Todoroki siblings turning to stare at Enji, who seemed to be fighting down a blush. His beard burst into flames, but it wasn't that intimidating a sight when coupled with a slightly panicky but kind of hopeful exclamation of "well??"
Fuyumi took a fortifying breath. "One second," she asked of her father, who nodded with a grunt and slowly worked on extinguishing his beard. Meanwhile, Fuyumi turned to Shouto. "What did you want to cook?"
Shouto's gaze shifted down and to the side, a bashful look coloring his cheeks a dusty pink. It was the first time Fuyumi ever witnessed something similar, and she tried to imprint the image in her brain to cherish forever. Her little brother, finally growing emotionally enough to get a crush! So cute!
At least until he opened his mouth.
"A souffle. Soft and sweet, like him. Could we make it yellow? He's blond."
Fuyumi froze on the spot, though luckily not literally. A souffle wasn’t the easiest thing to make, especially when…
“W-what’s your previous cooking experience, Shouto?”
“Tea and cup noodles.”
“So… boiling water?”
Her little brother gave her a shrug. Fuyumi decided to let that go for the moment and turn towards her father instead. “And you, what did you have in mind?”
Enji seemed a little taken aback that he was even getting so far, but he dutifully pulled out his phone and then his reading glasses from his breast pocket. Holding the phone nearly at arm’s length and tapping with a single thick finger a couple of times, he finally found what he was looking for.
“A croquembouche.”
Fuyumi blinked once, before her brain caught up with the foreign word. Her mouth dropped open. “Isn’t that like a towering pyramid of puffy pastries??”
“Yes, that one. Are you familiar with the recipe?”
“Am I—?? Dad, that’s very complex and time consuming to pull off! More than the souffle, if less delicate!”
“I am willing to put in the time and effort,” Enji told her very seriously, and they both momentarily ignored Shouto popping up to announce “so do I” because Fuyumi had a much more pressing question.
“Why?”
And then… then it was Enji’s turn to look away from their stare down, eyes going soft and cheeks turning warm. “Because he’s worth it. He’s kind and has been a source of support and happiness in the past few months.” He didn’t mention the divorce, but they all knew that its shadow hung in the air. But surprisingly, Enji chased that cloud away with a small smile. “The croquembouche looks like the sweet version of his favorite food, and he’s a fan of cooking, so I thought…” He trails off, and that’s all Fuyumi can do to stop from cooing. Her family! Growing to embrace personal happiness and relationships that seem healthy! Oh, she wants to meet these people so bad!
First though… “I can understand all that, dad. But… what is your previous cooking experience?”
“I can make rice. And hard boiled eggs.”
“…so, boiling water.”
Enji tilted his head a bit, like he wanted to argue but wasn’t finding anything relevant to counter Fuyumi’s words with.
This was gonna be hard.
They all stood there in silence for a few beats. Then Fuyumi snapped her fingers.
“Better idea! Let’s all make muffins!”
2. The Research
They argued a bit against the (much better, absolutely genius) muffin idea, but Fuyumi managed to convince them both that it would be easier and with guaranteed better results. Muffins could be soft, sweet (and yellow, because Shouto insisted on that part) like a souffle, and they could be stacked into a tower like the pastries of croquembouche, and they could even be stuffed with cream if that was something Enji would like.
That particular line had ended sort of badly, because Shouto had raised an eyebrow at Fuyumi and had asked, in the most deadpan tone ever, if she was really asking a father of four if he liked to cream on the inside.
Shouto had been sent to his room after that, Fuyumi’s face had been stuck into a permanent shade of red for the rest of the day, and Enji had fled for his office claiming something work related.
But they had, in the end, agreed to the muffins.
Then Fuyumi made her first mistake, but one that she could expect to make, being a teacher.
She asked them to do their own research into recipes.
To be fair, they at least did well on the allergies part, Enji reporting back on there being no apparent foods that his “special someone” had to avoid, while Shouto even went so far as to report back on his crush having been discouraged from ever using phenothiazine derivatives and the likes, in case of a highly possible negative reaction. Fuyumi had to reassure her brother that they weren’t about to crunch some random pills into their recipe, but other than that, she had hope.
Then they went out into the internet to look for possible muffin recipes, and then trouble started.
The results they presented her with seemed to go from banal errors in measurements that made the muffins either too hard or impossible to cook on the inside without burning the outside, to some downright baffling recipes that added everything from “dew water from the tea leaves in Shizuoka ONLY!1!!1”, to crunched dried banana flour “to avoid the bad conjunction of using wheat during a crescent moon”, to even things that advocated for the use of your own tears collected while thinking of the loved one for… Honestly, Fuyumi stopped reading that one after that point.
“How did you guys even find these??”
Shouto and Enji looked puzzled at her and at one another.
“With the Google.”
Fuyumi made a sound of suffering. “Why are they so bad??”
“Impossible,” her father said with a frown. “We searched hard to make sure we only had the best ranking ones.”
Shouto nodded along. “It wasn’t even easy, everything that was rated that high was after the third or forth page. But I guess that is because you have to work hard to get the best results, most people would just be happy with the first thing they see.”
It was Enji’s turn to nod, while Fuyumi looked in despair at the digital notepad in her lap. She didn’t want to ask, but…
“You said these are rated high?” Twin nods. “How high exactly?”
Shouto cocked his head to the side. “The best. Number one, of course.”
“Yes, exactly one star.” Enji agreed.
Fuyumi buried her face in her hands and resisted screaming. It would be fine, she’d just find a nice, simple, sensible recipe herself, then tell them to follow the instructions.
They could do this.
3. The Cooking
Fuyumi was starting to regret this more and more.
Because, apparently, instructions weren’t enough.
The first attempt was condemned thanks to Shouto.
Fuyumi was gathering the other ingredients while letting Shouto check over what they already had out, reading through the recipe she printed for them. She kept an eye on him, yes, but she tried to let him acclimatize to the unfamiliar space of “the kitchen”.
She chuckled under her breath as he picked up an egg and started studying it with a frown. Ah, who knew what he was think—
Her laughter died in a shout as he smacked the egg down hard into the bowl they had decided to use. He paid her no mind as he raised his fist again and brought it down swiftly, pieces of yolk and shell jumping out of the bowl with the force of the impact.
She rushed over. “Shouto, stop! What are you doing??”
He gave her a dead stare. “I’m sorry, Yumi. I know it’s hard to watch, but here it clearly says to beat the eggs.”
The kitchen was ominously quiet. Fuyumi swallowed and took Shouto by the wrists, trying to guide him to the sink. “That’s… that’s not what it means, Shouto.”
“I think I know what beating means, Fuyumi.”
She shook her head. “Listen, just… wash your hands. I’ll take care of the eggs.”
“You? Not him?” Shouto jerked his head towards where Enji had frozen in the doorway.
Fuyumi sighed. “Let’s all take a break, then try again.”
The second attempt tried Enji’s temper, and her own.
“What did you do, dad?”
“I followed the recipe.”
Fuyumi looked at the solid mass of flour barely streaked with egg and oil. “I doubt this was meant to happen, though. Where were you reading?”
Their father huffed, but pointed at the printed recipe. “There, it says to add flour.”
Fuyumi looked at the paper, then at the counter with the bowl of measured out flour, still untouched, then at the sack that Enji had been picking liberally from. She moved up her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
“Dad, that means ‘add the amount of flour you already measured out at the start of the recipe’, not just flour with no limit.”
Enji frowned. “Well, how was I supposed to know? And wouldn't adding more flour make for more muffins in the end?”
Fuyumi groaned and pushed her father out of the kitchen to see what was salvageable.
4. The Baking
The disastrous attempts had left them with very little to work with, and since both men insisted that they wanted to make a lot of muffins, Fuyumi decided that a trip to the store would be useful, at least for her nerves. She was already fighting back the mean comments in her head, of quality over quantity, or even of how muffins were nice, but they couldn’t really compensate for that much, but she held back and went for a walk instead.
At the shop she could at least buy the ready-mix for muffins, if her two walking kitchen disasters only had to add milk and eggs (gods help them with the eggs), maybe they could do it. So with a lighter heart she went about shopping, gathering some ingredients for the week as well and even an ice cream tube for herself because after that she deserved it.
“I’m home!” She called as she got back.
She was halfway through pulling off her shoes when the most subdued chorus of “welcome back” sounded from the kitchen. All around it was complete silence otherwise.
Her teacher senses blaring in alarm, Fuyumi left the groceries in the genkan and ran inside with a shoe still on.
The first thing she noticed was her father and brother kneeling side by side in the kitchen, heads bowed. The moment her feet were in the doorway, they prostrated themselves into dogeza.
“We’re sorry, Fuyumi.”
The second thing she noticed was the ice. The little flakes floating through the air, the sheets on the floor, all coming from the glacier that encased her once pristine cooking station. The oven looked half melted and curving into itself, its door almost spilling onto the floor like one of those liquid clocks by the painter Dali. All destroyed, but perfectly preserved in ice.
“What. Happened. Here.”
Enji and Shouto glanced at one another, faces still to the floor.
“We figured we could help speed along things, since we have already taken up so much of your time,” her father admitted.
“But… I guess we did something wrong with preheating the oven.” Her brother didn’t offer a complete explanation, but it was easy enough to fill in the gaps from there.
Those idiots.
“We’re sorry, Fuyumi.” They repeated once more.
Oh no. They thought they were sorry, but Fuyumi would show them.
5. The Coronation of the Efforts
Kaoruko stares at her girlfriend with wide eyes as she trails off after her tale of kitchen horrors.
“Oh gosh, Fuyu. That’s… that’s a lot.”
Fuyumi hums noncommittally, snuggling against her girlfriend instead now that she has finished venting.
Kaoruko swallows. She doesn’t want to ask, but she has to. “Are they… still alive?”
That makes her girlfriend burst out laughing. “Oh, Kao! You know me so well!”
“That’s not an answer, Fuyumi!”
After a chuckle and a reassuring pat, Fuyumi finally speaks. “They live, for now. They owe me a new kitchen, and a meeting with their crushes, and during school break they will be my slaves for all the house repairs and renovations that I’ve been telling them about for years and that they keep brushing off.”
“But… I thought you wanted to come spend the break here with me?”
“Oh yes. They can be the ones who have to deal with the house opened like a banana, day and night.”
Kaoruko gives a strained chuckle. “Remind me to never make you angry.”
Fuyumi looks up at her through her white lashes, before leaning up to give her lips a peck. “Consider it done, love.”
Kaoruko takes a second to blink, because that sounded both vaguely threatening and really, really hot. She swallows.
“Uh, wanna head out for a drink? I know we said home date, but it could be drinks and grabbing take out instead, then we come back and eat it with a series?”
Fuyumi’s eyes light up. “Downton Abbey?”
“And booze and food.”
The next kiss is a bit longer than the previous little smooch.
“That’s why you’re my favorite.”
Fuyumi is on her second Mai Tai when she grabs Kaoruko and nearly smacks her face on their table to hide them from who knows what. Maybe the right order should’ve been food and then booze, but too late now.
“What?” Kaoruko whispers.
“Shhh!” Fuyumi’s shushing is way louder than her words were. She points across the street, where a boy with a black baseball cap and a tray in his hands is walking. Wait a second, are those red and white bangs those that escape the cap?
“Is that Shouto?” Kaoruko murmurs once more.
“SHHHH!!!”
Kaoruko shoots an apologetic look at the couple seated at the next table, who are now staring at them as if they were crazy.
“Stop shushing me, love, we’re quiet,” she tries to coax Fuyumi, but a second later her own eyes go wide. “Oh my gosh,” she whispers, and points her own finger so close to her girlfriend’s face that she nearly knocks off her glasses.
“What are you— oh my gosh.” Fuyumi has turned to stare too, at the absolutely ridiculous sight of Endeavor clad in a trench coat and hat in the middle of spring, trying to hunch on himself, curling around a large paper bag that he carries in his arms.
“What is happening,” Kaoruko can’t help but wonder while she stares, enraptured.
“No idea.”
So they watch and watch, as the two guys walk towards one another, only to stop with a few shopfronts in between them to greet instead-
“No way,” Kaoruko whispers, squinting to make sure. “Is that Fat Gum?”
“Who cares about Fat Gum, that is a boy from Shouto’s class, from the festival! The one with a tail, that seems nice!”
And indeed, Shouto is offering a tray of store-bought muffins to his classmate, receiving back a bright smile and a happy wiggle of that huge tail.
Meanwhile, Fat Gum, out of hero costume but still wearing a big hoodie and tall enough to stand out in general, attempts to crush Enji in a bear hug, only for the older hero to wiggle out of those huge arms with a blush, thrusting the paper bag into Fat Gum’s waiting hands instead.
Blinking down at the “present”, Fat Gum carefully opens the top of the bag, only for a delighted grin to stretch across his face. Laughing happily he pulls out a muffin from the paper bag, exclaiming something that sounds like “so many, Endeavor-san!” even from the other side of the street. Then he pops the muffin into his mouth and pretty much moans before declaring it “so good too!”
Fuyumi is half convinced that her father's face is about to burst into flames from how red it is, and a glance at her brother reveals that Shouto is in a pretty similar predicament, staring wide-eyed as his classmate bites into the apparently cream-filled (and, sure enough, yellow) muffin, humming appreciatively as he licks his lips and the fingers that he caught some of the cream with.
Kaoruko is following it all by swiveling her head around, between the two couples across the street and her girlfriend seated next to her, her expressive face going from surprise, to joy, to an evil smirk. Fuyumi turns to her at last, grin so wide and deranged that Kaoruko is instantly glad that the Todorokis are a family of heroes and not potentially terrifying villains.
Luckily, Fuyumi seems only set on terrorizing her own family.
“You know Fat Gum a bit, yeah?” She says, barely waiting for Kaoruko’s nod before downing the rest of her Mai Tai and standing. “Then you go intercept the big guys, I’ll take care of the teens. Mission Embarrass the Kitchen Destroyers begins now!”
Kaoruko scrambles to stand as well, putting money down on the table as she goes, but before she can take off, a hand on her arm twirls her around, and Fuyumi is pressing an excited, but thankfully PG kiss to her lips.
Fuyumi pulls back with mischievous sparkling eyes. “Help me harass my family just a bit and there’ll be more than just take out on the menu for tonight.” Then she winks, twirls around and starts making her way towards Shouto with all the determination of an older sibling on a mission.
Kaoruko stares for just a moment, enthralled by this powerhouse in a cinnamon roll package of a woman that she has the privilege to call her girlfriend.
Then Kaoruko turns and makes a beeline for Fat Gum and Endeavor, confident that in this case she can even face down the Number One hero and come out on top, because Fuyumi will only be a few moments behind, ready to absolutely roast the hell out of her dad.
Though, looking at the big man now blushing where he’s kinda squished in a one-armed hug from Fat Gum, Kaoruko feels a little smile pull up at her lips: they do look kind of cute.
But more than that, they look like an easy ticket for Kaoruko to some sweet, sweet dessert, courtesy of Fuyumi, and not at all something that they will need the kitchen for.