Work Text:
2.5 years after Suit
Neil stared down at his journal, the first two lines of the song mocking him. “ The moon is high, like your friends were the night that we first met. Went home, and tried to stalk you on the internet, now I’ve read all of the books beside your bed.” The lyrics had come to him in a flash of inspiration when he decided to write a song about the differences between his relationship with Andrew. He was thinking something along the lines of how they were at the start compared to how they were now. It could be a song about growth.
But now he didn’t know where to go with it.
He slumped over onto the couch in Kevin’s recording studio and sighed loudly. Kevin didn’t look up from his laptop. Neil sighed again, looking pointedly at Kevin. Kevin rolled his eyes, but didn’t look up. Neil picked up a cushion and threw it at Kevin.
It hit Kevin directly in the face and he yelped, “What do you want, you horrible creature?”
“Look at these lyrics,” Neil demanded. “Where do I go from here?” He tossed Kevin his journal and Kevin read over the lines a few times, his brow furrowing.
“I was not high the first time we met,” Kevin sputtered indignantly.
“No, but I thought you were,” Neil replied. “Where should I go from here?”
“You also don’t read,” Kevin pointed out.
Neil scowled, “That’s beside the point.”
“It’s a good start,” Kevin finally conceded. “You could probably go with some more contrasts and comparisons. Even maybe, like how you and Andrew are different, not just focusing on your relationship history. Then the pre-chorus, then the chorus. Something upbeat and bouncy maybe.”
“I like the sound of that,” Neil said, considering it. He stood up and stretched, checking his phone. “Let’s go, dinner is in an hour.” Kevin clicked a few more keys on his laptop and then closed it.
“Are they all leaving tomorrow?” He packed his bag as Neil gathered up his things; he would most likely be back tomorrow, so he just stacked everything in a corner.
“Yeah, Nicky and Eric are headed back to Los Angeles and Aaron and Katelyn are headed back upstate with the girls. Andrew wanted one last dinner before everyone took off.”
“Is Betsy coming with us,” Kevin asked, locking up the studio. Neil waved at Stephen who had been lounging outside the door with the rest of Neil’s security team.
“No, she’s staying at the apartment to watch all the kids,” Neil replied. “She said she wanted to spend as much time with her grandbabies as possible.”
Stephen called down to bring the car around and Kevin and Neil loitered in the lobby until the car pulled around. They made a hasty exit into the car, and Neil texted Andrew to let him know that they were on their way.
“Andrew said we could just meet them at the restaurant,” Neil said. “Apparently, it’s a bit of a drive.” Kevin nodded and the pair lapsed into silence. Neil turned his thoughts back to his journal. Where could he go from there? He had written several songs about being just friends and he had just finished on another song he was tentatively calling ‘Lover’ in his head. He still hadn’t shown it to Andrew yet. But, he thought that Andrew would appreciate it.
—
“Ugh, I miss greasy diner food ,” Nicky complained. “LA is great, but everything is vegan and healthy.”
“You’re the one who moved there,” Aaron said, his voice muffled through his cheeseburger. Katelyn pointed at Nicky in agreement, her mouth full of fries. Neil smiled at the familiar bickering. Nicky had insisted that for their final meal they all go to a greasy diner, just like they were all ‘normal people.’ Andrew had rolled his eyes and then rented out an entire diner for the evening.
Andrew was tearing his burger into tiny bite sized pieces, as Kevin discussed some of the upcoming musical guests on the Kelly Clarkson show with Eric. Neil gently bumped Andrew’s shoulder with his own, and offered him a smile when the blonde glanced at him. Andrew wiped his fingers off on his napkin and then slid his hand under the table to grasp at Neil’s. A flush worked its way across Neil’s face, and he bit down on a huge grin that he was sure was about to form.
The conversation turned to childcare as Nicky and Eric compared notes with Aaron and Katelyn about milestones. Nicky and Eric had been able to adopt the young toddler they had been fostering and Neil knew that Nicky had been overjoyed with the new addition to their family. Henry was about three years old and apparently very shy, according to Nicky, and he was worried about his social skills.
“Some kids are just quiet,” Aaron said firmly. “As long as he talks to you and Eric, I wouldn’t worry too much. We see kids all the time who refuse to talk to anyone but their parents.” Aaron was almost done with his pediatric medical residency and was hopeful that the hospital would hire him full term. Katelyn had already been offered her position as an emergency room surgeon.
As Nicky kept pestering Aaron with questions about different techniques to get Henry to open up, Andrew began fiddling with Neil’s straw wrapper. His fingers deftly twisted the paper into a circle as he began to form a tiny nub at one side. He poked at Neil’s left hand, and Neil silently presented it to him. Andrew slid the paper ring onto Neil’s index finger and Neil grinned at him, admiring the ring.
“Clever,” Neil said, holding his hand up in front of his face to admire Andrew’s handiwork.
Andrew shrugged. “Not really.”
Nicky glanced across the table and cooed, “A paper ring! How very high school romance of you, Andrew. But it’s on the wrong finger.”
Neil glanced at Andrew in confusion. “Wrong finger?”
The tips of Andrew’s ears were turning red. “Normally, when people make these it goes on their ring finger,” he said blankly.
“Huh,” Neil replied, stumped. “Did you ever get one?”
Andrew looked at him as if Neil had grown two heads. “Who would have made me a paper ring in high school?”
“I would have,” Neil declared, grinning as the flush worked its way across Andrew’s cheeks.
“Disgusting,” Aaron said, yelping as Katelyn poked him in the ribs.
“Be nice,” she scolded, pointing a fry at Aaron’s nose.
“I am being nice,” Aaron said. “Besides, we all know that Neil likes shiny things. Andrew needs to step up his game for the real one.” Andrew threw a ketchup packet at Aaron’s face, who yelped again and tried to duck behind Katelyn who refused to move for him.
As the table descended into chaos, Aaron’s words struck a chord in Neil’s mind. He snuck his phone out of his pocket, and opened his notes app.
I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings. You’re the one I want.
He smiled down at the line; those were great lyrics. He could just never tell Aaron that he inspired them.
—
Once everyone has said goodbye, and headed off to their hotels, or apartment, in Kevin’s case, Neil and Andrew pile into their car. Andrew sent off a text, closed his phone and held out his hand for Neil.
“Betsy taking the kids to the hotel now?” Neil dragged his thumb over Andrew’s knuckles while he asked the question. Andrew grunted an affirmative and Neil smiled.
“She said she didn’t leave the apartment too messy,” Andrew said after a moment’s pause. Neil shrugged, if they hadn’t been willing to let the apartment get a bit messed up, they would have asked Betsy to stay at the hotel with the kids. The apartment just seemed easier to entertain three young kids.
Andrew’s eyes were focused on something in the distance, and Neil tugged on his fingers to get his attention. He smiled when his familiar hazel eyes landed on his own. “I think I have another song idea from tonight,” Neil said lightly, waiting for Andrew’s usual response asking for more information. Andrew stayed silent, watching Neil with a look that was growing more and more sly by the moment.
“What,” Neil demanded suspiciously.
“I think,” Andrew started slowly, as Neil’s pulse started to pick up speed, “that I may have another idea for a song.” He gazed unblinkingly into Neil’s eyes, and Neil felt his throat go a little dry. The car began to roll to a stop outside of their apartment, the street lined with a few fans, who started shouting. Neil couldn’t hear them over the roaring in his ears.
Andrew tightened his grip on Neil’s hand, drew close, and whispered in his ear, “Ready to run, rabbit?” Stephen opened the door, and the night exploded into cheers and camera flashes. Andrew walked briskly to their front door, dragging Neil behind him in his wake.
The door slammed shut behind them, and they made their way to the elevator. “You’re going to write me another song?” Neil asked breathlessly.
Andrew rolled his eyes, “You write me songs all the time.”
“This is different,” Neil protested, letting Andrew lead him into their apartment. He waved goodnight to Stephen and their other security detail, as they let themselves into the apartment across the hall.
Andrew wandered over to the freezer to grab some ice cream. He snagged a spoon and hoisted himself onto the counter, prying off the carton lid. “I had a moment of inspiration,” Andrew said before shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth. His face may have looked blank, but his eyes were filled with mirth. Neil was so in love he wasn’t sure if he could breathe.
“Wanna make another bet?” The words were out of his mouth before he could think and Andrew cast him an interested look. Neil took a few steps closer, his hands hovered over Andrew’s thighs until he got Andrew’s nod of permission.
“What are the parameters,” Andrew said, digging out a bite of brownie from the ice cream.
“If my song is better,” Neil started slowly, dragging his hands up and down Andrew’s thighs. “You have to be in my next music video.” Andrew glared at him, but Neil gave him his most innocent look.
“And if my song is better?” Andrew prompted Neil, but Neil just grinned at him.
“What do you want, Andrew? If your song is better?” Andrew sat quietly, kicked his feet against the counter. He scooped out some more ice cream, and licked it off the spoon, watching Neil stare at his mouth. Neil felt himself swallow hard as Andrew gave the spoon one last suck. He tossed the spoon into the sink and snaked his leg out behind Neil’s waist and pulled him flush against the counter. Neil felt heat swirling in his gut as Andrew wrapped his legs around his waist.
Andrew brought his face slowly to Neil’s, tracing his jaw with his nose. He placed quick, gentle kisses down the other side of Neil’s face, humming lightly against Neil’s throat. Neil felt his legs weakening. He moved his hands to the counter on either side of Andrew, so he wouldn’t squeeze Andrew’s thighs too tightly. Andrew picked up his hands and put them on his hips, and Neil groaned.
“A month,” Andrew whispered into Neil’s hair. “A month in our Colorado house, no interruptions.” He skimmed his lips down Neil’s neck to his collarbone, biting lightly at the junction where Neil’s shoulder met his neck.
“Yeah, alright, anything,” Neil panted. He started slightly when Andrew shoved him away to hop off the counter. Andrew made his way out of the kitchen, headed towards their bedroom. Neil watched after him in a daze, until Andrew looked over his shoulder at him.
“Are you coming, rabbit,” Andrew asked dryly, before slowly pulling his shirt off and over his head.
Neil grinned in excitement and hurried after Andrew.
—
“I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings, uh huh, that’s right. You’re the one I want. And I hate accidents, until when we went from friends to this, uh huh, that’s right. Darling, you’re the one I want.” Neil strummed his guitar slowly as he sang quietly to himself in Kevin’s studio. Kevin was clicking around on his equipment, claiming he was working on another beat for someone else, but he refused to let Neil listen. It had been a few days since he and Andrew had made the bet, and he had a few ideas rolling around in his head. He just couldn’t move past the ideas of paper rings. Especially after playing Lover for Andrew, who had taken the song very nicely. Neil had never seen Andrew so moved and he rubbed his hand over his mouth, trying to hide his smile from Kevin.
Andrew had touched Neil so reverently that night, and even though he said the words rarely, Neil knew that Andrew loved him. Andrew would never have to say the words; he showed Neil constantly how he felt through his actions. It made Neil want to write song after song after song about it. He couldn’t help his feelings from bubbling over and he wasn’t sure at this point where to put them. An album would do nicely to start.
“Stop thinking about Andrew and get to work,” Kevin said, without looking up from his laptop.
Neil rolled his eyes and looked down at his journal to the lines he had written previously. As he reread the lines, a moment of inspiration struck him, and he jotted down, “ The wine is cold, like the shoulder that I gave you in the street. Hide and seek for a year, or two and three, now I sit up in the night and watch you dream.” He grinned. It was coming together.
“Kevin,” he said, “Listen to this and tell me what you think.” Kevin swiveled around in his chair to listen. Neil read him the lyrics and Kevin took a few moments to think about them.
“I would change ‘hide and seek’ to ‘cat and mouse,’ and I would change the last line to ‘now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe.’”
Neil blinked at him, “What? Why?”
“For starters, hide and seek when discussing relationships doesn’t make complete sense,” Kevin started. “For you and Andrew, I can see it. However, most people are not you and Andrew, so change it. Lots of people have described relationships as being a cat and mouse game, so the metaphor will be understood and relatable.” Neil shrugged, but agreed, scribbling down his notes.
“Additionally,” Kevin went on, “You don’t watch people dream. You can’t know for sure if someone else is dreaming because they’re asleep and can’t tell you. But you can always tell if someone is breathing.”
Neil stared at Kevin for a few beats. “That is the dumbest logic I have ever heard.”
Kevin scowled at him, “Am I wrong?”
“No, it’s just stupid,” Neil grumbled to himself, crossing out the words and adding in Kevin’s new changes. It did sound better with Kevin’s changes, even if the logic was idiotic. He picked up the guitar and sang his way through the lines, adding his new chorus. He frowned to himself.
“It needs a pre-chorus,” Kevin declared, and Neil pointed his finger at Kevin in agreement.
Neil strummed through the whole song, the beat getting bouncier with each strum. He sang softly to himself, Kevin listening in his chair and nodding his head along to the beat. “I have an idea,” Kevin said suddenly, and Neil breathed out a sign of relief.
Kevin reached over to grab his own guitar, “ Kiss me once cause I had a long night, Kiss me twice cause it’s gunna be alright.” He was strumming the beat much bouncier and choppier than Neil had been, and Neil could almost hear the drums in the background.
“ Three times cause you waited your whole life,” Neil added excitedly, and Kevin counted him into the chorus.
“ One, two, one, two, three, four!”
“I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings, uh huh, that's right. Darling, you're the one I want, and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this, uh huh, that's right. Darling, you're the one I want,” Neil sang, and Kevin gestured at him to keep going.
“ In paper rings,” Neil added hesitantly, and Kevin nodded encouragingly. “ In picture frames.” Kevin made an approving face as he continued to keep the beat with his guitar. “ In dirty dreams,” Neil sang breathily, and Kevin grimaced while Neil laughed. They played the rhythm out for a few more seconds before stopping, Neil grinning widely and Kevin looking consideringly at his drums.
“As gross as that last addition was, I think you should keep it,” Kevin said.
Neil nodded in agreement. “Great idea for the pre-chorus. I like how upbeat this one is going to be.”
Kevin nodded, his eyes still fixed away on his drum set in the corner. He stood up tapping his thigh as he headed over to work out the beat of the song. There was definitely a beat in his head that he wanted to try, and Neil could tell that it was going to be great. Neil grinned, and turned back to work on the next verse.
An hour or so later, Kevin removed his headphones. “I have a decent beat for you to try,” he announced. Neil stretched his arms over his head, his spine popping loudly. Kevin wrinkled his nose, and Neil grinned.
“I think I have the next verse, and a possible bridge,” Neil replied.
“Sing it with my beat,” Kevin demanded.
Neil nodded and picked up his guitar again, finding the rhythm for the song and Kevin started playing the drums. The beat was incredible, and Neil felt the rush of excitement that came with writing a new song.
“In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool, when you jumped in first, I went in too. I'm with you even if it makes me blue. Which takes me back to the color that we painted your brother's wall. Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws, we wouldn't be standing here so tall.” Neil really liked the second verse; it had a little bit of truth, like when he and Andrew spent time helping Aaron and Katelyn repaint their house, and a little bit of metaphors like jumping into a pool. Andrew was the first to want to jump into a relationship, and once Neil figured it out, he was more than happy to jump in after Andrew, no matter how it ended up.
Neil sang through the pre-chorus again, with Kevin counting him into the chorus. Kevin sang with him on the chorus the second time, by now having memorized the words, and adding some harmonies throughout, so he and Neil could start figuring out where they would add overlays of Neil’s voice.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Neil said, after the chorus, and Kevin stopped drumming. “For the bridge, I was thinking a key change.”
Kevin’s eyes narrowed considering. Neil knew how Kevin felt about key changes. “Sing it.”
Neil opened his mouth to take a breath, “ I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays. Wrap your arms around me, baby boy.” He repeated it once, and then went back into the chorus. After he finished, he waited for Kevin.
“I like it,” Kevin said finally, and Neil felt himself smile in return. “I really can’t imagine Andrew tolerating being called ‘baby boy,’” Kevin added.
“Only in bed,” said Neil dismissively, and Kevin sputtered in outrage.
“Don’t say things like that!”
Neil cackled, “Kevin, it isn’t true.”
“ Still! It’s the principle of the thing,” Kevin complained.
Shoulders still shaking, Neil sang through the song again. It was perfect. There was no way he would lose the bet with this song. He could already picture Andrew’s ears going red at the tips when he sang it to him.
“Can you set it up so I can record a take?” Neil started heading towards Kevin’s sound booth and Kevin nodding, typing on his laptop. Neil got situated in the booth, slipping the headphones over his ears. He settled himself onto the stool and took a calming breath. Neil gave Kevin a thumbs up and Kevin pressed the play button.
Suddenly, a bass guitar beat came tumbling out of Kevin’s speakers. It was hypnotic, and almost flirty, and definitely not Paper Rings. Kevin turned pale and Neil opened his mouth to ask what it was when he heard Andrew’s voice. “ I think he knows.” Kevin scrambled to cut it off, but Neil was on his feet already, his heart pounding. Andrew’s voice had a raspy quality to it, but he had sounded firm and sure. Neil needed to hear the rest of it. He scrambled out of the sound booth towards Kevin who was ripping the connecting chords out of his laptop.
“That was Andrew,” Neil said, trying to lean around Kevin to grab at his laptop.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin replied furiously, snatching his laptop and holding it over his head. Neil jumped for it, and Kevin gave him a disbelieving look. “I’m sorry, did you think that would actually work?”
Neil felt himself flush, and he looked around Kevin to his soundboard. One of the buttons would have to make Andrew’s voice come back out of the speakers. “Neil, if you touch my soundboard I will make you sit in the corner every time you come in here,” Kevin threatened.
“Was that his song,” Neil demanded. Kevin looked at him bewilderedly. “We have a bet,” Neil explained frustratedly. “Whoever writes the better song wins.”
Kevin eyed Neil. “Then you’re in trouble, because Andrew’s song is really good.”
Neil groaned.
—
Andrew was waiting for Neil outside Kevin’s studio in the Maserati. Stephen hurriedly shoved Neil into the passenger seat, and climbed into the SUV behind them. It was dark outside, Neil had stayed much later than he had originally anticipated. “Hi,” Neil said to Andrew, trying to suppress his smile. He got a suspicious side eye for his efforts. Andrew pulled out into the traffic and started driving.
Neil squirmed, trying to shove his excitement down. He had bullied Kevin and gotten several interesting details about Andrew’s song out of the taller man. Andrew had apparently written the song in a day. He had come up with the beat for Kevin to use. Kevin wanted Andrew to keep writing songs because according to him Andrew was a natural talent.
“Kevin cracked,” Andrew said suddenly into the silence.
“No,” Neil lied instinctively, trying to cover for Kevin. Andrew raised an eyebrow and Neil huffed. “He accidentally played the first line, but he refused to let me hear anymore.”
Andrew snorted, as he wove in and out of traffic. “Liked what you heard?”
“Yes,” Neil replied emphatically. “It was really good.” Andrew came to a stop at a red light and glanced over at Neil’s face. Whatever Andrew saw on Neil’s face seemed to settle him, and he nodded once at Neil.
Andrew slid his hand onto Neil’s thigh and gave him a light squeeze, “I know it is.” Neil grinned at him, and Andrew stared back, the traffic light giving him a red glow in the dark. “I hope you’re ready for a month in Colorado,” Andrew said lightly, tracing the inseam on Neil’s jeans. Neil’s heart began to beat a little quicker and he felt his mouth go dry as Andrew’s fingers traced farther and farther up his leg.
Neil felt his breath hitch in his chest, “And I hope you’re ready to star in my music video because I’m going to win this bet.” Andrew scoffed disbelievingly, and took off, Neil’s laughter following them into the night.