Chapter Text
He pushed a doodle he had made towards you. You were seated next to him, helping him with sorting through the influx of data that had gathered from the various universes.
You took the small piece of paper to inspect it, a smile spreading across your face. It was a little sketch of you staring at the screens, with a sentence scribbled beneath it.
Don’t become like me :(
He didn’t know why he was a spider in the first place. He had spent years hating himself for it, for becoming like this. But in moments like these, moments were he too had hidden sketches of you, or when he joked just so he could hear your laugh. It made him believe that he was always meant to be spiderman or atleast he shared a few qualities with the other. It eased the voice of the critic in his head.
But as days went by, he had gone from observing you just because you were the only one he found interesting to never being able to look at anything else because he had fallen in love. That caused the self hatred within him to grow.
How can someone like you? Who lit up every room can be with someone like him.
A mutated monster that could never quite go back to who he once was. The humanness in him fading with every passing day.
He could never hold you close, his claws would get in the way.
He could never kiss you, his fangs would cut you.
And one moment he would be happy, then the next his eyes would narrow down on you like you were a threat.
So him yearning for love was as good as believing in fantasy.
You held him at a certain distance, he felt it, you would be around him long enough to thaw his heart and then flit back to the world you had come from. He watched you relax around other Peter parkers, to pull them into hugs or kiss their cheeks.
He only knew to sulk on that pedestal he built for himself, because if he just pretended to be a statue then his hurt would be left alone, frozen in time.
So he did the same now, push the paper away because if he held onto it, he’d want to frame it. The smile on your face soon becoming the highlight of his day as he sunk back into his chair.
You felt him pull away again. That was how it had been ever since you started being around him. You held the small piece of paper as though it was priceless, another great artefact that he bestowed on you, one you would take home to keep safe. Because as much as he believed he was this creature, these little gifts actually only reinstated how human he was.
You turned to look at him, to catch his eyes for a brief second before he looked away clearing his throat as though he had been caught admiring you. And you did, catch him often looking at you with dreamy eyes, it was only that you wished he would admit it to you, so then you didn’t have to pretend like you didn’t see him.
You saw him. All of him. His happiness, his sadness, his past, his present and the man he had once been, choosing to shine through the cracks now and then.
“Why do you hide it?”, it slipped out your mouth before you could hold it back. His eyes shot to you and you froze.
“Hide what?”, he asked as if you had uncovered his deepest secret.
But now it was out, now you needed to know.
“You.”, you smiled furrowing your brows because you couldn’t understand, why he kept his heart locked up.
He looked away, avoiding your gaze might help him think of a way to escape without giving you an answer but as his eyes found yours again. There was a part of him that didn’t want to shy away.
“There’s nothing great to share.”, he shrugged his shoulders but it made your smile disappear and he hated himself for it.
“Miguel.”, you said his name with a gentleness that you were sure he had not heard of before, you put away the paper to reach for his hand and you felt his fingers twitch upon your contact.
“Stop being hard on yourself.”, he heard you say and it stung him. He pulled away from your touch as though you had wounded him and the surprise on your face made him want to scream out because he had been yearning for your touch. Now he couldn’t even go after what he wanted. What he dreamed.
“There’s a reason as to why I am.”, he disguised the anguish with anger.
“Because of who you are?”, you question and he pushed away from his seat.
“Because of what I am.”, he quipped immediately, his eyes staying glued to yours as you finally saw the sadness behind his statement.
You pushed away to reach out for him, to pull him in, to confess that you loved him just as he was but he held his hands up in defense.
He began to break and it broke you, he mumbled all the reasons you should stay away.
“I could hurt you.”, he stepped back but you stepped forward.
“You deserve better.”, he was trying to convince you but instead it was the tears that were beginning to glimmer in his eyes that got you to stop.
His back hit the edge of the desk softly and it looked like he had admitted defeat.
“So you don’t want me to be around you?”, you asked softly and his eyes shot to find yours, his lips parting to disagree but instead he said,
“Ay dios. I want you. I need you.”, he stopped as he said it in a fit. The truth ebbing out his mouth as he saw you look at him with shock. You made him forget that his life had changed.
“As a friend, as a friend because that’s what we are.”, he held his hands up to ease you to then run his fingers through his hair as though he had messed up this connection between you and him.
But all you’ve been wanting was to know how he truly felt and now there was no need to pretend.
“That’s all we are?”, you asked him. Anxious that there was no room to be more.
“Yes.”, he said slowly.
“Nothing more?”, you stepped towards him as though you were stepping on thin ice.
He didn’t answer and it filled you with anger that he was ready to throw this away. That he wasn’t even going to take a chance.
“Just tell me never liked me and I can move on.”, you demanded and he pursed his lips.
“Tell me.”, you pushed forward, your face now in front of his.
But when his eyes found yours, it burned with passion. It burned as he took your hand. It sizzled as his eyes fell to your lips.
“Nunca.”, he whispered and you wanted to wriggle your hand out of his hold to march away but he didn’t let you.
“I could never imagine my life without you in it.”, he tugged you to him.
“If you had only let me know I had a chance, I would not have waited for so long.”, he said quietly, his eyes roaming over your face as his hand caressed your cheek.
“You’ve always had a chance, Miguel. You never took it.”, you placed your palms on his chest, not wanting to pull away from his arms.
“What are you going to do with this one?”, you asked as you were in this moment, your voice turning raspy when his breath cascaded over your lips.
He waited for a second, but there was nothing to think about. He pulled you to him entirely, his hands cradling your hips so you could wrap your legs around his waist. His lips catching yours with a hunger that matched yours. He moaned with delight as your fingers got lost in his hair.
He didn’t break away but he pushed away from the desk to turn and put you on it. He pinned you down as his hands caged you in, his kisses now traveling down your neck before he returned to your lips.
He pulled away to catch his breath and you couldn’t help but laugh as you were in a state of joy, his eyes softened as he joined you. You pushed yourself up and he held your waist steady, his eyes lost in yours as if he couldn’t make sense if this was real or not.
He leaned forward, to place his forehead on yours as he breathed slowly and before you knew it, you were breathing in sync with him.
“You like me as I am?”, he asked.
“I love you as you are.”, you replied and felt his hands tighten around you.
You nudged his nose with yours to get him to look at you and when he did,
“I love you, Miguel. I always have.”, you repeated it just so he knew you were not going to take it back.
His eyes glistened as he took your hand to kiss your palm as though a broken part of him had healed. He then began to place kisses on your wrist and worked his way down your arm as though his words could never convey the depth of his love. You slowly leaned back to lie down on the table as you pulled him close.
“We might be here for a while at this rate.”, he laughed and you smiled.
“Hmm we can make up for lost time.”, you chuckled.
“Oh I see.”, he said it with a mischievous tone, taunting you as his lips hovered over yours.
“Just shut up and kiss me.”, you laughed as you pulled him by the collar of his suit to kiss him again. His laugh against your lips put the world on hold for a while.