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"The culprit is Gonta."
Gonta thinks this must feel like getting shot. A sharp penetrating pain straight to the heart that twists the gut and tightens up his throat. Only there's no blood pouring from an open wound he could apply pressure to and eventually close up. Just the rush of blood thundering inside his ears, the tightness of his chest heaving for air and Kokichi's sharp eyes hanging on him, big smirk ever present.
The trial room explodes in discussion, he hears people defend him instantly, but why would Kokichi say that? Kokichi is his friend. Gonta doesn't believe he would lie. Lie, getting everyone killed on false accusations. No matter how evil Kokichi pretends to be, Gonta doesn't think that's his goal.
"No! Gonta would never do that!", he finally gasps out, reaching out his hand towards Kokichi like he could grasp him there, ask him why he'd say such a thing. "That's not what a gentleman does! Gonta would never hurt anyone!"
It should feel reassuring. The rising voices of "There's no way he'd do that" and "I believe in Gonta". But Gonta can't help but think that Kokichi isn't lying.
The way his voice rises as he spits out the words how that is the truth they all adore. It's unlike him to get so infuriated. It's not like the last trial where he claimed to have killed Angie. It was a lie, and he seemed to have fun running circles with that. But Kokichi also figured out the truth before anyone else, so perhaps it was his elaborate trap to corner the culprit.
"Well, Saihara-chan? You know I'm right. Why don't you tell everyone why Gonta is the culprit?"
It's a sinking feeling of emptiness. Gonta never felt anything much like it. All he wanted is to protect his friends, stop them from getting hurt and from hurting each other. "You're wrong!", Tsumugi protests, "Gonta-kun would never kill anyone! He wouldn't even kill bugs!"
Shuichi's expression is full of anguish. Gonta doesn't really understand any of this, but he knows he trusts Shuichi. Shuichi wouldn't condemn him if he didn't do it. And even if he doesn't remember, if Shuichi reaches that truth, it must be right.
So with his tears still running all over his face, he whispers his okay. No matter the outcome, no matter how much of this makes sense to him, Shuichi is so smart. Shuichi will find the truth.
The trial passes in a blur, and once the sound of the successful vote jingles, Gonta has to face the fact he really did kill Miu. "But why?", he sobs, "Why would Gonta do such a terrible thing?"
If he is to die for this, he wants to know what happened. Kokichi seems to know, but he still isn't telling anything. Gonta's chest and throat hurt from crying, but he has to be strong. He can't give in to self pity. Miu died because of him, and he wants to make things right just a little. He owes her a much.
Monokuma starts tapping away at a laptop, and once he's done, he turns the screen to reveal another Gonta. A smaller version of Gonta, and first Gonta doesn't really understand how Monokuma trapped him inside the screen. "It's Gonta's consciousness from the virtual world", the bear explains, "He will remember."
Alter ego Gonta starts to explain, but Gonta finds it hard to focus. Until those words. Those words fall, and everything clicks into place.
"Mercy kill."
"Gonta wouldn't even kill bugs."
Ah, well. That's not really true.
Gonta remembers the forest, his home, after a particularly bad storm. Rain droplets tripping from the leaves, Gonta was looking for berries to eat when he found a butterfly on the ground. It was a big white one, drenched, wings shredded. It dragged itself over the ground, and Gonta thought it looked so incredibly sad.
He carefully picked it up, and the butterfly sat still on his fingers. Gonta knew it would never fly again. Those wings couldn't be fixed, and what is a butterfly without its freedom? A prisoner.
"Gonta will make it stop hurting", he whispered, as he put the once beautiful creature now so ruined, out of its misery.
He buried the butterfly below a pretty tree and framed its grave with tiny stones. Hoping that the little creature would be free once more beyond the clouds.
Gonta understands. Gonta didn't want to hurt anyone, but he made it so much worse. But he can't hate Kokichi. Even though everyone is mad, he can't hate Kokichi. Doesn't believe Kokichi is evil, even if everyone else tells him he is. And when Kokichi asks to get executed alongside him, Gonta believes those tears are real.
"Gonta is so sorry", he whispers, "Gonta loves you all." Gonta hopes Miu can forgive him. In his last moments, numb from all the pain, he thinks of everyone, all of his friends, alive and well.
Gonta hopes in his next life, they can be friends again.