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Fact and Space lugged an injured Rick down the catwalks above an endless abyss. Sparks were flying out the Adventure Core’s side and there were holes in his office shirt. Fact had a disappointed expression on his face, as per usual when he had to deal with Rick’s nonsense. Space however just looked happy to be there, unaware of the circumstance they were in despite holding him and humming some sort of tune that had the word space randomly thrown in.
“Fact: Aperture Facility Military Turrets are not potential romantic partners. They also actually inspired the song ‘Kill Them With Kindness’ written by a World War 2 veteran,” Fact said, pointing his index finger up high.
“Oh shaddup, you should have seen the way she was looking at me,” Rick retorted, shooting a dirty look at the nerd.
“Fact: The Aperture Facility Military Turret shot at you as soon as you were in its line of sight and now you have bullets in your body that almost hit some of your vital circuit boards because of that ignorance,”
“Oh please, at least I was in a woman’s sight! Something you could only dream of, Four-Eyes,”
“The Aperture Facility Military Turrets do not have sex-,”
“Not the ones I know heh,” Rick quipped with a smirk.
Fact cringed at the risque joke and just scoffed. “- Nor the concept of gender. That is because the scientists who engineered them thought it would only hold them back,” He finished triumphantly.
“Uh-huh, whatever you say,” Rick groaned.
They trudged along, trying to find any offices or labs that could patch up Rick. There was a quiet air which was rare between the three corrupted Cores, usually, one brings up some story, a useless fact or holler something about space at the top of his lungs. But there was nothing but calm and it was a foreign atmosphere for them. Even with Space singing, it was so low that you could easily tune it out. When they weren’t getting on each other’s nerves, they were never really the biggest conversationalists, mostly because two out of three of them could only spout out specific things that aligned with their purpose.
“Hmm hm, stars, hmm, meteors,” Space sing-songed to himself.
Rick’s eyebrows furrowed. Why was he with these guys? It was an out of nowhere thought at the moment but it recurred in his mind every so often. When he first met Fact and Space there was a connection, Rick always guessed it was because they were all corrupted but there was just something familiar about them that he couldn’t explain, something he didn’t have with all the other AI in the facility. That was why he stuck by them, they were the only things that made sense to him yet no sense at all and it stayed like that for as long as he was programmed to remember. But as time went on, as they infuriated him more over the years, he has no idea why he hasn’t just settled on being alone. At least being alone didn’t want you to rip out your own auditory processors.
“Planets, la laa, stars,” His volume got a bit louder, louder than the other two would prefer.
Do the others feel the same way?
“SPACE!” The yellow Core finished with a high-note.
“Why do we hang around each other so much?!” Rick blurted out louder than he would have liked, it had the tone of an accusation like the others were the ones to blame for this weird trio.
Fact and even Space stared at him from the sudden outburst, still walking. The two then made eye contact.
“Fact: Blood loss can cause erratic and impulsive thoughts as well as actions, that’s why 75% percent of people choose to die once they have been shot,” He said dryly, nodding in Space’s direction.
“WE DON’T EVEN HAVE BLOOD YOU- Agh!” Rick took a sharp breath, a white pain traveling up his form. Once he got his hands on the person who programmed them to have pain receptors, he swore to god… Fact and Space halted to reposition him
Rick groaned and just tightened his frown, not only his volume lowering but his tone as well. “I mean just… Think about it. Why do we stay together besides the obvious of we’re all corrupted and hated by virtually everyone in this place,”
“Fact: Most often than not, individuals answer their own questions,” Fact answered.
“Constellation!” Space smiled, waving his finger between the three of them.
“Yeah but we hate each other, don’t we? I mean you two have a weird friendship thing, I think, going on. But me? We can’t stand each other, there is no reason for me to be around you and vice versa,” Rick then pointed his eyes at Fact, “You especially I don’t understand,”
The difference between Fact and Space was that Fact always made it clear how much he disdained Rick. Spouting facts just to piss him off, insulting him through said facts, even when they first met and when that connection hit, there was just this electric resentment towards the pink Core and that was yet another thing Rick could never explain. As time went by, that loathing had dulled into bitter rivalry and it was even sorta fun arguing with the shorter android at times like a game. But why did they let it turn to this?
The pink core pushed his glasses up and just stared down at the ground, he almost seemed bashful? Which made Rick narrow his eyes at him until Space yelped-
“Space station!” He pointed at an office, it was over to their left and was up on its own platform connected by a separate bridge which was also a part of the main one they were on. Its walls mainly consisted of huge window pans and some control decks could be seen inside. It didn’t look like a lab but maybe there could be some tools inside they could use. With all the fancy control decks he could see, the scientists would need some sort of way to fix them on the spot.
Trying to brush off the awkward and frankly embarrassing conversation before, they dragged Rick in and thankfully someone forgot to lock it before they died from the incident.
The room was pitch black except for the ceiling lights streaming in from the windows outside which was pretty faint already.
Fact and Space placed Rick in an office chair and snooped through drawers, lockers, and the occasional glance under a table. Rick just slumped into the chair, clasping his hands over his side. He didn’t need to put pressure over it but it just felt natural to do so because of the pain. He still pondered on the question he asked before and got no answer from. Rick expected to be bit back with an insult, an agreement, or anything to confirm his thoughts.
Finally the two came back with a metal box with an Aperture logo, hopefully it was filled with all the necessary things required to patch him up and then go on with their day.
“Great you found the stuff, now let's make this quick so you don’t have time to mess something up and kill me,” Rick huffed, sitting up and lifting up his jacket and work shirt. Sparks continued to fly and cords dripped out of the bullet holes.
Space placed the toolbox down and got out some tweezers, a soldering iron, and various other tools necessary. Rick gave him a weird look and turned his head towards Fact.
“Wait, you’re not doing it? Why are we letting him do it? Is this a joke???” He asked, panic seeping into his voice, and chuckled nervously. This had to be a practical joke right? There was no way Fact was letting him do the procedure, Fact was a lot of things but he was at least smart enough to not let the space cadet work on him.
As if to answer his question, Space excitedly chirped and gripped the instruments in his hands, “Gotta work on Orbiters, Rovers, landers, SPACESHIPS! Gotta go to space,”
Fact gave him a shrug and a knowing look. Then it clicked.
“Ah right, you would actually know how to work with this sorta junk, rocket science and all that,” Rick nods at him, averting his eyes.
“Rockets go to space! Only way to go to space, no other way to space,” The other confirmed.
“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this but fine, just… ugh… Don’t turn me into a satellite dish or anything,”
Space nods as a thank you and then gets straight to work. Him prowling around his insides felt weird, no that was an understatement, it felt downright wrong. It stung like disinfectant whenever Space had to use the iron or when a wire was moved it felt like he was reorganizing his nonexistent veins. Not to mention him actually trying to get the bullets out and the way Rick shivered whenever one was removed.
Rick cocked his head towards him hesitantly and Space was dead concentrated on the task, which he didn’t know he could do honestly. He never took Space as the type to be competent but the things you learn about someone, he guessed.
Rick glanced over to Fact who was sitting beside them on the rough carpet floor, reading a newspaper he found by one of the skeletons. Then Fact made eye contact at him as well, unamused. But then his expression softened into sympathy, like for once the two understood each other. Then suddenly Fact shot his head away and covered his face with the flimsy paper, pulling his knees up to his chest.
Rick didn’t know what just happened. Fact was never vulnerable, especially with him. He was like a textbook, boring and straight to the point. So that sudden scene made his head spin.
These two were making less sense than usual today. He shook his head with a gruff sigh and chose to stare out the windows until this was over.
–
A few months later
–
Rick rested his back against a corner of the plated walls, crossing his arms with a look of disdain hidden under the tip of his hat. One reason for this being, well, it looked cool. I mean that was his thing! He was the Adventure Core. But the other thing being that he was just simmering.
Ever since Wheatley of all androids became the new boss man of Aperture, things have been hellish. Insulting him and his… Well, Space and Fact weren’t his friends. But they weren’t acquaintances either. It was complicated.
But anyways, Wheatley would force them to be his little henchmen. Basically, make them his little dancing freakshows to do whatever he pleased so long as it entertained him. It was demeaning and he hated every second of it. He preferred the scary (Strangely familiar) lady over him, hell he preferred the time where Wheatley was just an idiot rather than an egomaniacal one because back then he could just annoy Rick to death rhetorically rather than annoy him to death literally.
At least now he wasn’t putting it all on him, right now he was only gloating to Fact. Something about books or something. From where he was standing he caught little tidbits of conversation from the two but he didn’t listen too closely. He glimpsed at Space, who was doing quote-on-quote ‘moonwalks’ around the room as a time waster, having an expression that looked like he was actually stepping on that damn rock. Rick just stared at him lazily, having nothing better to look at than the oaf.
“Halley’s Comet could be seen orbiting the Earth every seventy-six years,” Fact said, for lack of better words, matter-of-factly. Having that smirk on his face whenever he spoke.
Rick saw how Space froze at the mention of the comet, craning his head towards his two coworkers with the goofiest grin to ever be engineered on a robot. It was like a golden retriever seeing a tennis ball being thrown over a cliff and Rick knew he was going to jump after it anyway.
Rick's face changed too as if he saw a ghost, his stomach dropping. “No, don’t!” Rick silently mouthed to Space, gesturing for him to keep it down but that was obviously to no avail, the little space cadet was too far gone the moment he heard the word comet. He then turned towards Fact, mouthing “Shut up” and gesturing for him to zip it. Fact just rolled his eyes and continued to blab, unaware of the danger he’s putting them in.
“The other seventy-five it could be seen hibernating in the center of the sun undisturbed,” There was a hint of sass behind that last word towards Wheatley and if it weren’t for stakes Rick probably would have chortled a little bit under his breath.
But all he could do is pinch the bridge of his nose in disappointment as he saw Space rapidly dash towards Fact and Wheatley.
“COMETS,” He exploded like a firecracker, making everyone flinch at the sudden volume rise except for Rick and Fact who were both beyond used to it by now.
Wheatley glared at him with a strained uneven smile, twitching his eye a little if you examined closely enough. He unwrapped his arm from Fact’s shoulder and placed both his hands behind his back as he walked towards Space. Rick could only stare in suspense as he saw the event unfold.
Why did he care so much? This wasn’t his problem. The idiot and the nerd brought this on themselves, this has nothing to do with Rick. Whatever happens happens and Rick did his part to prevent it but these two didn’t listen. This is on them. They deserve what’s coming to them. Maybe it will even be funny in a schadenfreude sort of way.
“Space! Gotta go to space, space!” He babbled nonsensically.
“Oh… Space?” Wheatley preyed, walking towards him.
“Space!”
“Oh, you wanna go to space?” Wheatley asked in a case of plastic, placing his hands on Space’s shoulders.
“Gotta go to space!” He confirmed, pointing up to space with his index finger.
“Oh-ho, well,” Wheatley snickered soullessly as he lightly grasped Space’s neck.
Rick’s foot started to twitch.
“You,” He uttered, his hold on him strengthening.
Rick pursed his lips as he found the floor shockingly interesting.
“Are,” Wheatley’s grasp became a grip, Space’s smile faltering.
Rick pinched the sleeves of his leather jacket.
“Never,” Wheatley’s grip became a strangle, Space’s smile completely disappeared and replaced with a thin straight line.
Rick clenched his eyes shut and held his head down, hoping his hat was covering his face.
“GOING. TO. SPACE,” The chassis bound Core spat, wires were exuding from Space’s neck. Space’s face scrunched up in anguish.
The crunch of metal made Rick cringe, not daring to open his eyes.
“NOW SHUT UP, MY GOD,” Wheatley bellowed, throwing him to the ground as Space could only freeze in shock and confusion at what had just happened. He floated his quivering hands over his wound, too nervous to actually touch it. The injury wasn’t lethal or risked a full shutdown since nothing came into contact with anything that stored memory or data.
But there was something off, Rick could see it in the horror on his friend’s face. But then automatically, not the mechanical automatic but the mental automatic, he sprinted to kneel down to Space’s side and wrapped an arm around him. Rick glared at Wheatley dead in the eye.
“Hey!” Rick barked but was silenced by just the look he gave him. Not a threatening look, not even an angry look, but an expectant look. The bastard just cocked an eyebrow and crossed his arms, tilting his head a little. There was a mutual understanding between the two about Wheatley and himself. Rick never participated in fights that he didn’t know for sure he could win, he was all bark and no bite. Wheatley was a prime example of a fight he could never hope to win. Both of them knew the power he had over the green Core. He could send him to the furnace, revert him to his factory settings, slowly destroy him from the inside, and send him to the basement of Android Hell all in a few hours.
There was no use in fighting him and why would Rick fight him? Space annoyed everyone he interacted with, this was a long time coming. Wheatley was right to do this! Rick could understand it even. He should just walk away while he still has the chance.
But once he glimpsed at Space’s expression, trusting yet pleading, something lit up in Rick like someone adding gasoline to a faint matchstick.
“Only I tell him to shut up!” he snapped, shooting a glare and a snarl at Wheatley, pulling Space closer into a sort of awkward side hug, “Now lay off before I make ya!”
The blue vested android looked taken aback for a second, his stance faltering but then bursted out laughing out of nowhere, clasping his stomach, and if he had the ability he would be wiping away a tear. When he got a good look at Rick, seeing him not backing down and dead serious with his threat, he only cackled harder.
“Oh this is brilliant!” Wheatley grinned,
“Oh no, the Adventure Core is gonna get me! Maybe I'll hide behind my throne or somewhere in the facility that I have complete control and power over. Oh whatever am I supposed to do, boo hoo hoo,” He chastised,
“Oh wait, I'm in no danger at all. Must have slipped my mind, silly me!”
Wheatley then whispered, leaning down to eye level “If you didn’t catch it, I was being sarcastic the whole time,”
“Yeah, I caught that!” Rick bit back.
Out of nowhere, Fact forcibly turned Wheatley to face him from behind, his face scrunched up in a furious expression and not even bothering to push his glasses back up.
“Fact: If you want to photocopy a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror!” He yelled it like an insult. Rick didn’t know what he was trying to get across exactly but he admired the tenacity. Wheatley’s demeanor then contorted to utter revolt.
“Y’know, you really belong in a museum because you’re one piece of work!” Rick began to back Fact up by insulting Wheatley again, he shot up while still supporting Space on his shoulder. He didn’t know what he was trying to achieve but it felt good nonetheless.
Space didn’t say anything though, just nodding along to his friends.
“Enough!” Wheatley boomed, some sort of force shooting from him and throwing the trio to the ground. “All of you, you are giving me a headache!”
“Now go away!” He demanded.
The Cores scurried off out of the room, Rick still holding Space and Fact not following far behind. They booked through an available doorway and stopped at a corner of a hallway to sit down, making just the right amount of distance.
“I can’t believe we actually got away,” Rick gaped.
“Fact: We were supposed to die from my calculations,” Fact agreed.
The two looked over at Space, still clasping his damaged neck and silent.
“You okay over there? You sure did get blunt of it from him,” Rick asked, his eyebrows furrowed and dread pooling in.
Space just shook his head frantically, opening his mouth but no space babble dribbling out of it like it usually did.
Fact’s eyes widened, his shoulders hunching and curling into himself. “Fact: Voice Modulators can be damaged if too much pressure is applied?” He said it like a question.
Rick and Fact’s eyes widened when Space shook his head.
Now, Rick never lied about wanting Space to shut up. It was always the same every time. Space this, space that, it would make anybody go crazy! Especially if you hung around him constantly and were bombarded by it for most of your day. But for a reason Rick knew he started to sink in a pool of guilt and pity.
Fact was the one that stood up first, holding a hand out to Space in which he immediately took, then got pulled up and still held onto Fact’s hand as they walked off. Rick then got up himself and then started to follow not shortly after.
“Hey, we’ll fix you right up when we find a lab, don’t worry, pal,” Rick reassured, patting Space on the back with a soft smile.
Space was surprised at first but he then lit up like the sun at the word ‘Pal’, he threw an arm around Rick in an awkward side hug once again as they continued to trail through the plain reciprocal halls. Even Fact snickered a little bit at the sight.
Rick even managed to find amusement in it as well.