Chapter Text
401. We have an Oracle for a reason. Please do not try to obtain actual prophecies using any of the following (even while praying to Apollo):
- Cootie catchers
- Magic 8 balls
- The “cheese of truth”
- Cards Against Humanity
- A dartboard/target divided into “yes/no” quadrants
- Wheel of Fortune answers (I don’t know how you go about this, but stop)
- Horoscopes from teen girl magazines
- Spotify playlists on shuffle (huh?)
- Opening any book to any page and reading the first sentence
402. Campers are now only allowed to consult the Oracle for non-quest-related purposes on the first Sunday of each month.
- Furthermore, if a camper is issued a quest on that day, they get to skip the line.
403. Nico, stop trying to control Magnus just because he’s dead. I don’t care if it actually works, stop it. (Jabberwocky)
404. The Hephaestus Cabin is not allowed to attempt to recreate or replicate “Happy Fun Ball”.
405. Just because Nico is the Ghost King does not mean he can have anyone here executed.
406. No one will be executed for breaking any of these rules.
407. No one here is getting executed for any reason. The guillotine is to be immediately sent to Valhalla as a gift dismantled.
408, No one is allowed to bribe the Tyche Cabin to sway the outcome of their favorite competitive shows. Yes, Paolo, this was made because of the World Cup incident. (asinut)
- Or the Nike Cabin.
409. Absolutely no one is allowed to run/drive/fly around recklessly while yelling “Nothing bad ever happens to the (insert surname or other category with a history of misfortune)!”, no matter how ironically true it is. No, not even Especially if you belong to that category. This includes, but is not limited to:
- Chases
- di Angelos
- Graces
- Jacksons
- Castellans (really, guys?)
- Levesques
- Apollo kids (N O .)
- Counselors
- Praetors
- 5th Cohort
- Hunters of Artemis
- Hades kids
- Big Three kids in general
410. Stop asking Nico to summon Chuckles the Clown. Not even to “enhance” your DnD campaign.
411. Campers are no longer allowed to use their powers to “enhance” DnD campaigns.
- Especially the Hecate Cabin.
412. No demigod under the age of 24 counts as a responsible adult for any intents or purposes.
413. Stop trying to get anyone possessed! (Are you serious?!) (wtf am i doing)
414. Grimace is not Camp Jupiter’s mascot.
415. It is not appropriate to start singing any Hamilton song whenever any of the wars are brought up. (Anything_for_our_moony & Angelthegay)
416. Kazoos are no longer allowed within camp borders.
417. I do not know what “skibidi Ohio rizz” is, please stop asking if I have it.
418. Not everything/everyone that slightly inconveniences you is homophobic. This includes, but is certainly not limited to:
- The bedframe on which you stubbed your toe
- The shoelace you tripped on
- The old lady in front of you in the checkout line who’s taking forever
- The door handle on which your shirt got caught
- The bus/train being behind schedule
- Red lights
- Stop signs
- Fucking gravity
- Your allergies/food intolerances
- The germs that got you sick (Will is not homophobic either, so don’t you start with that)
419. Cabins 11 and 12 are not to be referred to as any variation of “The Mickey Mouse Crack House”.
420. No one is allowed to refer to any cabin as any variation of “The Mickey Mouse Crack House”.
421. Before sarcastically asking anyone in a position of authority “Who died and left you in charge?”, please make sure that that person’s predecessor did not, in fact, die. The past few years have been… rough. (Scarlet)
- On second thought, maybe just don’t ask anyone in a position of authority “Who died and left you in charge?”
422. Stop having Nico summon any famous dead person for your own entertainment. (BlueManul)
423. Whoever is currently doing the cabin inspections does not “lack the proper security clearance” to enter your cabin.
424. No one is allowed to go more than 40 consecutive hours without sleep, unless absolutely necessary.
425. There is not currently, nor has there ever been, nor will there be, any authorized quest to “go find the Heart of the Ocean”. Doubly so, since it does not actually exist!
426. Travis Stoll is not the new CEO of Triumvirate Holdings.
- Nor is Connor Stoll.
- Or anyone else here!
427. Camp Half-Blood is not “joining the war on drugs”.
- Especially not “on the side of drugs”!
428. Will is not No one is allowed to go hunt down any of Taylor Swift’s exes.
- No, not even John.
429. Starting fights between any children of any god associated with war and/or violence is very ill-advised. (WhorecasMeadhoes)
430. Chiron is not amused by your constant references to John Mulaney’s “Horse in the Hospital” bit, at least if it’s about him. (Anything_for_our_moony)
431. While humorous, it is not exactly necessary for Jason to yell “screw gravity” every single time he’s about to start flying.
432. If a rule states that a specific person (or cabin) is not allowed to do a highly specific thing, that usually means no one else is allowed to do that thing, either. We don’t change it until more than one person has tried.
433. The Kool Aid Man is not a deity. Take the shrine down.
434. Apollo is not the god of pizza, and pizzas he “deems unworthy” are not “blown away to pizza hell”.
435. For the love of all the gods, stay away from Denver International Airport, unless absolutely necessary.
436. Stop addressing Frank and Hazel as “Mr./Madam President”. For the last time, the proper title is “Praetor (last name)”.
437. Building your own Furby does not negate the “no Furbies” rule.
438. Due to the incident between the Eris and Apollo Cabins, “Where’s Waldo?” books are no longer allowed at camp, and the entire Eris Cabin is on dish duty for a month.
- The Eris Cabin must also write an apology letter to the Apollo Cabin as a whole, and must personally apologize to Will, Kayla, and Austin.
439. Do not let Nico eat Thin Mints without warning him what they are first. If you don’t, you will be the one who has to explain the ensuing allergic reaction to Will.
- If you do warn him, and he eats them anyway, that is not on you, and you are free to watch Will chew him out without fear of him lecturing you, too.
440. The Aphrodite Cabin are not, and are not allowed to call themselves, “The Dazzlings”. (BlueManul)
441. For Olympus’s sake, no one is allowed to steal the Declaration of Independence. (BlueManul)
442. Nico would like the general warning of “Stay the hell out of Vegas” to be given to everyone, especially if you are on a quest with a deadline. (Scarlet)
443. Stop telling Apollo campers who are not particularly musically talented that they “ain’t got rhythm”. It comes off as very rude if you don’t get the reference, and a little mean even if you do.
444. Campers are not allowed to feed Nico and/or Hazel blatant misinformation about the past 80-something years, nor are Nico and/or Hazel allowed to feed campers blatant misinformation about the 1930’s-40’s. (Scarlet)
- On that note, both Nico and Hazel have suggested coordination with the Athena Cabin to create some sort of program to make sure they’re caught up on relevant history/important events. Nico, Hazel, Annabeth, and Malcolm, please meet me in the Big House sometime this week to discuss further details. (Scarlet)
445. Gambling anything on Mythomagic is no longer allowed. Nico, give everyone’s stuff back or we’re telling Will about the Jack Skellington incident. (Scarlet)
446. No one is to refer to Cerberus as “Fluffy”. (Erikthonius)
- Or “Spot”. (Three_Moonwatchers)
447. Whoever has been putting up the posters offering 10 drachmas to the person who shows Nico Disney’s “Hercules”, stop that, we banned that movie for a reason. (Lotta)
- That was not an invitation to double the amount!
- Nor was that an invitation to quadruple the amount! (Three_Moonwatchers)
448. Absolutely no one is allowed to spread the rumor that we never actually found the Titan Army spy, and that most of us are just “pretty sure it was Silena since she confessed and all, but we never found the scythe charm”. Yes we did, this is not acceptable nor funny.
449. Who the actual fuck is saying this?
- Again, no adding to the list without permission, please.
450. No one is allowed to stand on any elevated point with a megaphone in order to make any sort of announcement concerning Shadow the Hedgehog.