Work Text:
[Congratulations! You have been born, Tom Marvolo Riddle.]
[Achievement unlocked! Put Rock in Mouth]
[Achievement unlocked! Most Hated by The Matron]
[Achievement unlocked! Youngest Baby to Walk]
[Bread has mysteriously appeared in your hand. Attempt to replicate? Yes/No]
[You have discovered the System! Start tutorial? Yes/No]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[Bread has suddenly appeared in your hand!]
[You have fainted.]
[Achievement unlocked! Cute enough to receive charity]
[Achievement unlocked! The Matron thinks you are the second incarnation of the Devil!]
[WARNING! The Matron has taken you to Church to perform an exorcism!] [Pretend to be the Devil? Yes/No]
[You now command fear throughout Wool’s Orphanage!]
[Achievement unlocked! Parentless Authority]
[Red yoyo acquired! Equip? Yes/No]
[You have encountered a snake! How would you like to proceed? Befriend the snake/Kill the snake/Walk away]
[Personalized diary acquired!]
[Location discovered: Cave in the Cliff! Enter? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Billy’s Bunny Butchering]
[A Strange man is requesting your presence! Approach? Yes/No]
[The Strange man is inside your room. Tell him to leave? Yes/No]
[“Professor Dumbledore” set fire to your wardrobe. Set him on fire? Yes/No]
[Tell Professor Dumbledore of your magical abilities? Yes/No]
[Achievement Unlocked! Dumbledore is frightened of you.]
[Location discovered: Diagon Alley! Enter? Yes/No]
[Location discovered: Knockturn Alley! Enter? Yes/No]
[Warning! Your funds are critically low.]
[Location discovered: Platform 9 ¾! Enter? Yes/No]
[You have encountered a Pureblood! Ask him about blood purity? Yes/No]
[You have been injured! It is suggested to seek medical aid.]
[You have encountered a Pureblood! Ask him about blood purity? Yes/No]
[Ask him about Hogwarts Professors? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Friend]
[Achievement unlocked! Slytherin!]
[Achievement unlocked! Full Belly]
[Close curtains and sleep? Yes/No]
[Your bed is soaked with water! Complain to the head of house? Yes/No]
[Attend class? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Cast with a Wand]
[You have impressed your classmates with your learning speed! Befriend someone? Yes/No]
[Dumbledore is glaring at you! How would you like to proceed? Glare back/Confront him/Set him on fire/Ignore]
[Attend the next class? Yes/No]
[The Professor is impressed with you!]
[Attend the next class? Yes/No]
[The Professor is impressed with you!]
[Attend the next class? Yes/No]
[The Professor is impressed with you!]
[Achievement unlocked! Academically Admired]
[Close curtains and sleep? Yes/No]
[Your bed is dry this morning!]
[Join DADA club? Yes/No]
[You have attended a club meeting! Go again? Yes/No]
[Abraxas Malfoy is inviting you to his manor for the winter! Accept invitation? Yes/No]
[You have discovered the Luxuries of Wealth! Become a Capitalist? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Flying perfectly with a broom]
[Achievement unlocked! Flying without a broom]
[Location discovered: Malfoy Library! Enter? Yes/No]
[Rare book found: Magick Moste Evile! Read? Yes/No]
[Ask about soul magic? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Occlumency]
[You have returned to Hogwarts.]
[You hear a snake. Follow the sounds? Yes/No]
[You have been caught communicating with a snake! How would you like to proceed? Explain truth/Tell her he was pretending/Tell her he wasn’t making any noise/Set her on fire]
[You have gained fame in the Slytherin house!]
[Title unlocked! Rumored Parseltongue Speaker]
[You learn about the Chamber of Secrets legend!]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[Achievement unlocked! Academic Validation Whore]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[Achievement unlocked! Burnout]
[You have ended the school year with almost top grades!]
[Coping mechanism unlocked! Burn down the orphanage? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Arson attempt failed]
[Coping mechanism unlocked! Attempt to poison The Matron? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Poisoning attempt failed]
[WARNING! The Matron has taken you to Church to perform an exorcism!]
[A fellow orphan is getting on your nerves. How would you like to proceed? Tell them to stop/Cast the Killing Curse/Do nothing]
[Achievement unlocked! Murder as an Unhealthy Coping Mechanism]
[The matron sends you to Hogwarts early.]
[Dumbledore glares at you.]
[Guild created! Dark Arts Club]
[Achievement unlocked! Pureblood Crowdfunding]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[WARNING: Identity crisis! Find out your origins or gain an inferiority complex!]
[Achievement unlocked! Prefect]
[Bring suspiciously large group of people into the prefect's bathroom? Yes/No]
[Guild renamed! Knights of Walpurgis]
[You have amassed 12 followers! Become the second coming of Jesus? Yes/No]
[Give your Knights candy? Yes/No]
[Feed your Knights muggle snacks? Yes/No]
[Your followers like you! Brand them? Yes/No]
[Your Knights think the design is ugly. Try again? Yes/No]
[Your Knights think the design is ugly. Try again? Yes/No]
[Your Knights think the design is ugly. Try again? Yes/No]
[Your Knights think the design is ugly. Try again? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You can try again next year.]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[You have arrived at Wool’s Orphanage.]
[Steal cash from The Matron? Yes/No]
[Commission a tattoo artist for a stencil? Yes/No]
[You have arrived at Hogwarts.]
[You requested two books from Abraxas! Which one do you want first? Magick Moste Evile/Blood Family Tree]
[You have taught the Torture curse to a Knight.]
[You have taught the Torture curse to a Knight.]
[You have taught the Killing curse to a Knight.]
[You have taught the Torture curse to a Knight.]
[Achievement unlocked! Superiority Complex]
[A follower is asking you to tutor them! Tutor them? Yes/No]
[A follower is asking you to tutor them! Tutor them? Yes/No]
[A follower is asking you to tutor them! Tutor them? Yes/No]
[Glare at Dumbledore? Yes/No]
[You have received the Magick Moste Evile book.]
[You have learned about Horcruxes! Create a Horcrux? Yes/No]
[Drug Professor Slughorn? Yes/No]
[Ask Professor Slughorn about Horcruxes? Yes/No]
[Orion has a crush on you! Reject him/Feign ignorance/Ask him on a date]
[Achievement unlocked! Broken Hearts]
[You have received the Blood Family Tree book.]
[Achievement unlocked! Opened Chamber of Secrets]
[Feed the basilisk? Yes/No]
[The Basilisk Looks at Myrtle Warren!]
[Myrtle Warren has Died. Create a Horcrux? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! First Horcrux]
[WARNING! You are being suspected of murder! Find someone to frame within the next two days or risk being sent to Azkaban.]
[Achievement unlocked! Awarded for “Catching the Guilty” That you Framed!]
[You have successfully branded a few select followers!]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[Seduce the Grey Lady? Yes/No]
[You now know the location of Rowena Ravenclaw’s Diadem!]
[Analysis of Blood Family Tree book complete!]
[Achievement unlocked! Confirmed Half-blood]
[You have found the location of your father!]
[Achievement unlocked! Found Family]
[Demand child support? Yes/No]
[Ask about your mother? Yes/No]
[You have learned of Slytherin’s Locket!]
[You learn of the circumstances of your conception! How would you like to proceed? Cry/Murder/Do nothing]
[Achievement unlocked! First Killing]
[Create a Horcrux? Yes/No]
[Deathly Hallow acquired! Equip? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Second Horcrux]
[You have returned to Wool’s Orphanage.]
[You have ended the school year with top grades!]
[You have successfully graduated from Hogwarts!]
[Ask to become a Hogwarts professor? Yes/No]
[Become a Hobo? Yes/No]
[Work at some random shop? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Professional Seductress]
[You have met a Fat Old Lady. How would you like to proceed? Call her Heptizbah/Madam Smith/Mommy]
[Mental designation “FAT OLD LADY” assigned.]
[You learn she has the Hufflepuff’s Cup.]
[Her grimy hands are on the Locket of Slytherin. Poison her? Yes/No]
[Set her on fire? Yes/No]
[Use the Killing Curse? Yes/No]
[Create an elaborate murder plot? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! 2 out of 4 obtained! Unhealthy Coping Mechanism expanded!]
[Create a horcrux? Yes/No]
[Drink fancy champagne with part of your soul? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Fancy Soul Champagne is on the floor. Use cleaning charm/Test flammability of soul/Use the Killing Curse]
[Unhealthy Coping Mechanism unlocked! Using the Killing Curse on inanimate hocruxes]
[Kill random muggle to create a horcrux? Yes/No]
[You have sufficient funds to not work for a year! Look for Diadem? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! 3 out of 4 obtained!]
[Rowena Ravenclaw’s Diadem Acquired! Equip? Yes/No]
[You feel your brain expanding!]
[You understand physics on the atomic level!]
[Dumbledore does not wear underwear!]
[You feel like you have smoked 10 joints at once!]
[You have fallen flat on your face. The Diadem rolls off your head.]
[Create horcrux? Yes/No]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your following is growing!]
[Achievement unlocked! Terrorist]
[The Order of the Phoenix has emerged! Set them on fire and hope they don’t get reborn? Yes/No]
[Title unlocked! Lord Voldemort]
[Guild renamed: Death Eaters]
[You are waging war!]
[Your Diary horcrux is now located at Malfoy Manor.]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your Ring horcrux is now located at Little Hangleton.]
[Your Cup horcrux is now located in the Lestrange’s vault.]
[Your Locket horcrux is now located in the Cave in the Cliff.]
[Your Diadem horcrux is now located at Hogwarts.]
[Your following is growing!]
[Your following is growing!]
[Achievement unlocked! Dark Lord]
[A Prophecy was partially revealed! ??? How would you like to proceed? Kill Harry Potter/Kill Neville Longbottom/Do nothing]
[Achievement unlocked! Antagonizing a Baby]
[You have infiltrated the Potter household! Use Killing Curse on the baby? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Your physical form has disintegrated!]
[ERROR! Your physical form has disintegrated!]
ERR-ERRRORROR-ERROR! Your physical form has disintegrated! Acquire a host boody t-t-ttto cont-tinue using the Syystemm.]
_______
[Become a professor as Quirinus Quirrell? Yes/No]
[You glare at Professor Snape.]
[You glare at Professor Dumbledore.]
[You glare at Neville Longbottom.]
[You glare at Harry Potter.]
[You glare at Harry Potter.]
[You glare at Harry Potter.]
[You glare at Harry Potter.]
[WARNING! Your host body requires sustenance! Consume one of these items within three months to remain in host body: Unicorn blood/Elixir of Life]
[You learn of the presence of the Sorcerer’s Stone! Steal? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You are not sneaky enough. Try again later.]
[ERROR! You are not sneaky enough. Try again later.]
[Indiscreetly kill Harry Potter? Yes/No
[ERROR! Someone is countering your jinx!]
[Steal Sorcerer’s Stone? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You are not sneaky enough. Try again later.]
[You have consumed Unicorn blood!]
[Steal Sorcerer’s Stone? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You are not sneaky enough. Try again later.]
[You got hit in the face with a snowball! How would you like to proceed? Set the twins on fire/Use the Killing Curse/Reveal yourself/Do nothing]
[Steal Sorcerer’s Stone? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You are not sneaky enough. Try again later.]
[WARNING! Your follower is suspecting your intentions! Reveal yourself/Make an excuse]
[Steal Sorcerer’s Stone? Yes/No]
[ERROR! You must bypass the Mirror of Erised to access the Stone!]
[The Mirror of Erised stares into your soul.]
[ERROR! Your soul is incomplete. The mirror of Erised cannot perceive incomplete souls. Redirecting to host body...]
[Quirrel has a praise kink.]
[Harry Potter has been following you! How would you like to proceed? Kill/Bind/Do nothing]
[Harry Potter has insulted you! Cast the Killing Curse? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter knows something you don’t! Bring him to the mirror? Yes/No]
[There is something new in Harry Potter’s pocket! Demand he hand it over? Yes/No]
[WARNING! Your host body is disintegrating!]
[WARNING! Your host body is disintegrating!]
[WARNING! Your host body is disintegrating!]
_____
[You are in a womb!]
[You have been born!]
[Plan to kidnap and kill Harry Potter? Yes/No]
[Reestablish the Triwizard tournament? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter has touched the trophy!]
[Harry Potter has arrived with another champion!]
[Command to kill extra champion? Yes/No]
[The resurrection potion is complete! Enter? Yes/No]
[Character customization: Nose? Yes/No]
[UNDO is an invalid command.]
[REVERSE is an invalid command.]
[ASK ME AGAIN is an invalid command.]
[PLEASE is an invalid command.]
[GIVE ME A NOSE] is an invalid command.]
[Dual the subject of your prophecy? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Your wand does not want to hurt Harry Potter!]
[Harry Potter has escaped.]
[Your following has greatly decreased!]
[Your health is greatly diminished!]
[Borrow Malfoy Manor to recover and rebuild? Yes/No]
[You have reunited with Nagini!]
[Create a Horcrux? Yes/No]
[You request your Diary from Lucius Malfoy.]
[You learn that he has lost possession of your Diary! How would you like to proceed? Set him on fire/Use the Killing Curse/Punish him/Do nothing]
[Plan to infiltrate Hogwarts? Yes/No]
[Pink lady is flaunting her authority successfully!]
[You learn of your unique connection to the subject of the prophecy, Harry Potter. Send visions? Yes/No]
[Send visions? Yes/No]
[Send visions? Yes/No]
[Send visions? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter has arrived at the Department of Mysteries!]
[Harry Potter has insulted you! Cast the Killing Curse? Yes/No]
[ERROR! The Prophecy has been shattered!]
[WARNING! Albus Dumbledore has made an appearance! Fight or flee to stay alive!]
[WARNING! Possession of Harry Potter is inflicting damage on you!]
[WARNING! Possession of Harry Potter is inflicting damage on you!]
[Flee? Yes/No]
[WARNING! Your ego has been injured! Reevaluate your life or kill Harry Potter to restore ego.]
[Pink Lady is too traumatized to return to work.]
[Lucius Malfoy failed to acquire the complete prophecy! Send his son on a mission? Yes/No]
[Help Severus Snape retire from the job he hates? Yes/No]
[Raid muggle village? Yes/No]
[Raid muggle village? Yes/No]
[Raid muggle village? Yes/No]
[Draco Malfoy has successfully created a way into Hogwarts!]
[Your Death Eaters have successfully overtaken Hogwarts!]
[Headmaster Dumbledore is cornered at the edge of the tower!]
[Draco Malfoy has failed to kill Headmaster Dumbledore!]
[Professor Snape has killed Dumbledore.]
[Professor Snape upgraded to Headmaster Snape!]
[Delegate school regulation to the Carrow twins? Yes/No]
[Create a staff meeting? Yes/No]
[You learn of plans to transport Harry Potter to safely. Intercept Harry Potter? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Your wand does not want to hurt Harry Potter!]
[Borrow a different wand? Yes/No]
[This wand restricts your magical power! Look for a better wand? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter has entered Godric's Hollow! Attack? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Failed to kill Harry Potter.]
[You learn about the Elder wand! Consult wandmakers for its location? Yes/No]
[ERROR! Ollivander refuses to say anything!]
[ERROR! Gregorovich refuses to say anything!]
[ERROR! Grindelwald laughs in your face and refuses to say anything!]
[You receive news of Harry Potter’s capture! Abandon interrogation? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter has escaped! How would you like to proceed? Cast Torture Curse on everyone/Set them all on fire/Cry/Do nothing]
[You have another Gryffindor’s Sword!]
[Graverob Dumbledore? Yes/No]
[ERROR! The wand is not working properly! DIsarm the true owner of the wand to gain its allegiance.]
[Harry Potter has broken out of Gringotts with a dragon!]
[Warning! Harry Potter is after your hocruxes! Relocate them before they get destroyed!]
[ERROR! Locket is missing from it’s designated location!]
[ERROR! Ring is missing from it’s designated location!]
[Raid Hogwarts to locate Diadem? Yes/No]
[You have been informed Harry Potter is at Hogwarts! Smoke a joint? Yes/No]
[You have arrived at Hogwarts!]
[Guilt trip Harry Potter for his death? Yes/No]
[30 minutes have passed.]
[45 minutes have passed.]
[55 minutes have passed.]
[Harry Potter has agreed to your proposal! Use killing curse? Yes/No]
[Achievement unlocked! Slain Harry Potter]
[A horcrux has been destroyed: Nagini]
[WARNING! Harry Potter rises from the dead!]
[Harry Potter is taunting you!]
[You learn you are fully mortal!]
[You learn Snape is a Slimy Git!]
[WARNING! Too many revelations are being made! Flee or kill Harry Potter to maintain sanity.]
[Cast the Killing Curse? Yes/No]
[Harry Potter casts Expelliarmus!]
[You are losing to Expelliarmus!]
[You have been slain. Try again? No/No]