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Who knew love would be this difficult. That's what almost everyone would describe love as. Difficult, complicated, hard to manage, some would even go as far to say it was equivalent to a stab in the heart. Of course not everyone would describe it this way, but that's how it felt to Aira. Having a crush on someone so close to him, so special, it hurts.
It’s not like Aira wanted to have a crush on his best friend, and possibly the longest friendship he has managed to keep around, nor was it something he planned out, no, like how most crushes prosper, it just happened, but this was the last thing he wanted! He liked what they had now, talking on the phone, reliving their old online days in where their only form of communication was talking through a screen, hanging out whenever their schedule would allow it, all those things that they did or went through was something he deeply cherished, and he would (probably) admit that to this guy! If he wasn’t so afraid of ruining everything. Aira wouldn’t mind if it was a one-sided love, even if it would hurt way more than it hurts now, if it keeps their friendship the same as ever, that's enough for Aira. It should’ve been enough for Aira.
Sitting on the couch in his dorm, only the show paused on the tv and the small lamp in the corner of the room illuminating it, he waited for said guy to arrive. They had made plans to watch this new idol survival show that had just started airing not too long ago, and hopefully see through to its end. Aira felt a little bad that he had to drag his best friend along with all of idol themed plans, but when asked, the other would simply deny those claims, and say he enjoyed them as much as Aira did, even loving the time they spent together, which would leave Aira close to a flustered mess. Now his only concern was how he was going to stay focused on the show entirely, but I guess that was a problem for when it actually arises!
Aira sighed to himself, all the thoughts in his screaming at him that inviting his crush over was a horrible idea, and that he should simply just cancel their little date, but Aira enjoyed his company, he needed his company. Not in an obsessive type of way, but more of a ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you’ kinda way.
Finally hearing the knock on the door, all of the noise in his head came to a halt, but not for long, that's for sure. Aira stood up, gulping down whatever nervousness he had and walked over to the door, putting on a smile so the other wouldn’t notice how much of a wreck he was before he decided to come over.
Opening the door, he was met with the oh so familiar pink head of hair, accompanied with those pair of amethyst eyes Aira could never get tired of, even he was convinced that purple was starting to become his favorite color. “Kohakucchi~!!” Out of impulse, Aira hugged him, not even giving him a chance to say hello, or even walk inside, “Woah–!” Kohaku stepped back a bit to properly hug Aira back due to the sudden hug, “Guessin’ ya missed me?” Aira couldn’t see his face, but just had the feeling that he was smiling, which just the thought of it made a soft pink tint reach Aira’s cheeks. How exactly was he going to explain that? “Of course I did! We haven’t had the chance to hang out in like, foreeeever?” Which wasn’t a lie, the last time they hung out seemed like forever ago, but in reality it was actually two-ish weeks ago. Which in Aira’s words, would be forever ago.
“Besides the point,” Aira let go of Kohaku, but instead grabbed onto his hand, dragging him into the room “We have a show to watch!” Kohaku willingly let himself be dragged into the room, closing the door behind the both of them once he was given the chance to do so.
Aira was still super nervous, being in the same room with the culprit of all his thoughts. What if he says something wrong? What if Aira ends up doing or saying something that makes the boy of his dreams like him less, or even worse, hate him? No, Kohakucchi could never hate me..! At least that's what Aira says to reassure him and the devil on his shoulder. Now sitting on the couch, he patted the spot next to him, prompting Kohaku to sit in that spot, but to Aira’s surprise, they were closer than he expected? Making his cheeks heat up again, but it wasn’t really noticeable due to how dark the room already was. Thank god for that.
“What’re we watchin’?” Kohaku asked, now looking at the tv screen, but all Aira could think of was how much he smelled like those strawberry scented candles..? It wasn’t a bad smell, not at all, he was just curious as to how the smell got attached to him in the first place. Snapping out of his thoughts he looked over at Kohaku, to which their eyes met “It’s like this idol survival show? It aired a little while ago so a few episodes already came out but we can finish them today if we really tried!” A small giggle escaped the boy. Whenever he talked about anything remotely related to idols, all of his thoughts he previously had were taken over by idols idols idols! It was quite the lifesaver.
Kohaku nodded, a smile now on his face. The smile Aira so adored. Usually Kohaku was this mysterious person that would always try to hide something from the very guy that wanted to have a chance to get much closer to him, and though this was enough to please Aira, the real distance between them was unbearable. Aira would do just about anything to get Kohaku to tell him everything about him and the things he does, but of course that is only a dream of his, something that is bound to never come true.
Nodding back, the boy took the remote that was sitting right next to him and unpaused to show, now watching the true madness that wasn’t inside his head for once, unfold.
'. . . Kohakucchi smells so nice.' It hadn’t even been thirty whole minutes and the fanboys mind already started to wander about the boy next to him, who seemed more immersed in the show than Aira was for even the first few minutes. Shaking his head, to try and shake off the thoughts, he tried again to focus on the show, staring more intently than before. 'Waaah..~ Kohakucchis so pretty..' Now the thing of interest was Kohaku. It’s not like Aira was amazing at hiding his feelings in the first place, but this was sure to take the cake for Worst way to hide one’s Feelings.
Aira stared at the tv, his focus now semi going back to the show at hand. Watching it reminded him of how silly the introductions always were, or how impressive they could be with whatever skill or talent they wanted to show off, but his favorites were usually always the ones to get kicked off the show, so he’s learned that it’s better not to get attached so early on when their likelihood of getting eliminated were more likely.
He jumped slightly, feeling a slight touch on his hand, forcing him to look down at the thing that managed to make him look like a total loser. To his relief it was only Kohaku, maybe he just accidentally brushed his hand against the others, no big deal. Aira’s attention went back to the tv, but not even a full minute later he felt another touch on his hand, but instead it was almost like Kohaku was grabbing his finger instead. Did he wanna hold hands? It wasn’t uncommon for the two of them to hold hands from time to time, so with a small smile on his lips, Aira intertwined their hands, looking down at them instead of again, not focusing on the show he wanted to watch. How silly.
It was almost like their hands were made for eachother, how they fit into each others palms perfectly, and how their fingers perfectly aligned with one another's, it was a feeling that left nothing but butterflies in the fanboys stomach, but they felt… good? despite how this was a very obvious sign that maybe Aira wanted something more than what they had already had, but as he said many times already. What they had was enough for him.
Looking up at Kohaku, simply out of impulse, he could tell that his cheeks were a slight pink. Did that mean that the other could have seen Aira’s blush too?!?! Too embarrassing…
Seeing the blush on Kohaku’s face made Aira more confused than anything, but it was…cute? Kohaku Oukawa was cuter than ever before!! For him to get so flustered over something like holding hands was totally adorable, and it’d make sense if he was to get a little embarrassed, Aira was usually the one to initiate the hand holding, it was never the other way around.
“You’re so cute.” At that moment, Aira wished that anything or anyone would strike him down. There was no way he said that out loud? In front of the guy he liked? No, there was no way! He just imagined that he said it outloud, yeah that has to be it! Aira turned his attention again to Kohaku, hoping that he’d be the confirmation he needed to make sure he didn’t say that outloud, but to his dismay, based on the now overly red Kohaku, and how shocked his reaction was, he did say it outloud.
Aira felt his face heat up once again, and his gaze was now diverted to the floor in front of him. He said that!!! He totally said that. Now removing his hand from Kohaku’s, he covered his face out of embarrassment. He wished he could’ve died right then and there!! What was even the point in living if he just embarrassed himself that badly!! “Kohakucchi I’m—“ “Yer cute t-too…”
Eh? Did Aira hear that right? He moved one of his fingers so he could peek at the boy. He looked more of a mess than Aira was right now. He definitely heard that one correctly.
Even if the other looked a total mess, flustered and all, Aira still found him absolutely adorable, despite being in the same exact position he was in right now. Aira sat up as straight as he could, knowing that if he even tried to put any weight on his feet, they would feel all wobbly like jello due to how nervous he felt. Did Kohaku feel the same way about him..? There was no way, Aira would have noticed it by now? Or maybe he just did a way better job at hiding it than he ever could. There was no way that someone like Kohaku would ever like someone like Aira, I mean, he was sure that the idol fanboy wasn’t everything he hoped for when they first properly met, perhaps he was a bit shorter than expected? More scrawny than he could have hoped? There was no chance in hell that Kohaku would–
“Rabu-han..? Can I uhm…” Aira’s thoughts stopped at a halt once more, his gaze fixated on Kohaku. “Can I kiss ya..?” He knew that those words were probably difficult to spit out, more than he could ever imagine, but even so, just the question alone left him utterly speechless. Kohaku wasn’t messing with him, right? No this was Kohaku, he wouldn’t do such a thing. Their eyes met for a brief second, Aira’s being the first to look away, his eyes now looking at his pink hair, that seemed to glisten in the illumination the tv screen provided “M..Mhm” he nodded, which followed with the sound of the other scooting a bit closer after a few seconds of silence went by. This was Aira’s dream come true, and he tried everything he could to prepare himself for this moment if it ever came true, but who knew he would be more of a nervous wreck than expected, he was about to be kissed by his crush of all people!
Fluttering his eyes closed, he simply waited for the other to initiate the kiss. Another few seconds went by and Aira could feel Kohaku’s breath on him, it was extremely nerve wracking…When was the kiss supposed to happen? Was he the one that was supposed to do it or the other way around? So many questions for a very inexperienced boy.
All those thoughts were interrupted with a somewhat abrupt kiss from the boy in front of him, which made Aira close his eyes a bit harder than before. Kissing wasn’t exactly what he thought it was, but it was everything he wanted it to be– nice and sweet. Aira felt like he could melt into a puddle right then and there, and maybe he could have even died happy. If Kohaku was messing with him, then this was a sick joke, and he would totally yell at him for this!!! Never talk to him again either.
Aira was the first to pull away from the kiss, not because he didn’t like it, but because he was quickly running out of air. He’d definitely have to work on that if he ever wanted to kiss Kohaku again.
The pink haired male looked at him, not much of an expression on his face until a small laugh filled the silence that was just a little too overbearing. “With that amount of air ya have, ‘m guessin’ you can’t really swim underwater, huh?” “I so can swim underwater!” Aira playful hit him, now puffing up his still tinted pink cheeks “Meanie head.” He let out the air his cheeks had managed to gather.
“I love ya, Rabu-han”
“...I love you too, Kohakucchi ♪”