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Wen felt dead tired, dreaming about the moment he would lay his body on a comfortable bed, or better, on his boyfriend’s comfortable chest, but he won’t complain because he knows Jim must feel ten times more tired than he does.
The business was doing great and that’s good, so Wen is already planning a weekend out with Jim, somewhere where the older man can rest his old bones, can not stress, think of bills, of chickens, of nephews at the other side of the world.
Jim doesn’t need to do it all alone anymore, he has Wen now .
Jim most likely will refuse the offer, but Wen has his ways of making him accept it. It’s been like this ever since when they met: Jim will never refuse Wen. He wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship, but he never told Wen no (unless that time he found out about his complicated relationship with Alan, but that’s an exception), so he left Wen enter his home, his heart and his life. It won’t hard to let Wen drag him to a spa.
Wen thanked the couple who just paid their bill and smiled to himself looking up the sky. Jim isn’t the most romantic man in the world when it comes to gestures, he won’t say pretty things, won’t bring him flowers and God forbid post on social media with cute captions, but in his own way, he knows how to make Wen feel special and loved .
“Oh my God, it’s really you, Jim” Wen heard a male’s voice speak cheerfully and a little too loud, making some of the customers look, and Wen turn his whole body around to see Jim, who is still inside of the truck, stare a man who has his back to Wen. He was about to know what was going on, but new customers arrived and he went to take their order. Well, I’ll know it later, then.
Other than the nice neighborhood, customers and market old ladies, Wen doesn’t know about any friend of Jim’s. He doesn’t speak of them and he doesn’t know if he keeps contact with his friends from back at his hometown, so yeah he’s very curious to know who that is.
From what he could see, they only share a few words and Jim has to go back to work, so the man leaves, Wen has no time to even find out how he looks. He can always ask Jim about it later.
Turn out he didn’t even need to. As soon as they’re ready to go home, the man is back, smiling from ear to ear, and Jim tenses on his side.
Things about to get interesting, Wen thought.
“I thought I wasn’t going to find you” He told Jim, as if he was alone there, catching his breath as if he was running “You still finish work late, don’t you get tired man?”
“I’m always tired” Jim said with his Jim face , the one that says a loud ‘leave’, but not everyone catch it.
At this moment Jim looked at Wen, who was still staring between the two, as if counting when he’s going to remember he’s there, and he’s glad his boyfriend didn’t take long to address him, or depending on how this night might turn out, he was going to be a little mad.
“Anyway” Jim said, doing the ‘clean hand on his apron’ motion he does when he doesn’t know what to do with his hands or is uncomfortable. “I’m going now-”
“How about we talk for a while?” Intruder insists, he sounds a little desperate, at this moment he haven’t looked at Wen not even once, Wen knows what’s going on.
“Exactly, how about we talk for a while” Intruder looked at him as if it was the first time he was Wen there. “I’m Wen, Jim’s boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Intruder, at this point Wen doesn’t care about his name, sounded surprised. Wen sent a look at Jim, to make him talk and confirm.
“Yes, this is my boyfriend, Wen.” he pointed at Wen, a little stiff. “Wen this is Lucas”.
Just a name, no more than that.
“If you excuse us, Lucas. We are tired and need to leave now, right Lung?” Wen gave Lucas a fake smile and heard Jim confirm.
“See you around Jim and…”
“Boyfriend” Wen said, smiling again, Lucas tried to smile but it came out ugly, Wen is satisfied.
~
Jim drove the truck in silence,Wen wonders if he’s just thoughtful or he thinks Wen is mad at him, for the encounter. They both know what that man wanted, but Wen doesn’t blame Jim for that.
“I never saw any friend visit or contact you, don’t you have friends around the city?” Wen broke the silence.
“I had, but life took too much time, I don’t see them for a while now” Jim said and Wen wondered how long it is for a while now . Jim thinks of himself too old for everything and not that Wen minds it, but it’s sad to see him act like he doesn’t have much in life but to work and work. He knows Jim isn’t unhappy with this lifestyle and doesn’t want to change him, but he doesn’t like the thought Jim gave up on things that most likely, when he was younger, he enjoyed to do. He knows for a fact too he wouldn’t enjoy loud and crowded places, but..
“Don’t you miss them?”
Jim gave that soundless giggle he does. Not really, I am good with the ones I have now“ He said gently. “Are you worried about me?”
Jim always throws the question back at Wen, making him feel embarrassed. “So who is Lucas?”
“One night stand from about” Jim looks up, trying to remember “three or four years ago, I’m not sure”
‘Before me’ Wen thinks.
He knows he was not the first one night stand of Jim’s, actually Jim knew exactly what to do the next day, being kind, but still telling Wen off, making clear what happened that night won’t happen again and here they are .
“I remember he came back again the next night, trying to flirt with me, it was a bother. He tried for some nights.”
“And you gave in?”
Silence.
“I was so stressed, I needed a distraction,” Jim explained, looking ahead at the road. “But then it was over. I think he returned to Bangkok later.”
Wen is an adult, Jim is an adult, he knows he’s got Jim’s heart now and he opened a wall the man was holding for years… but it sting …
Wen won’t be childish about this, but maybe even when he was chasing Jim for a long time, he still felt insecure deep down. Jim always gave signs he liked Wen, always looked at him, but never touched him after that night. Wen knew he was taking a risk, but he always felt confident.
That man insisted to the point he could have another night with Jim… Wen know this feeling, it’s jealousy. There was never anyone in their lives that made Wen feel jealous,not even Gaipa who is happy with Alan now, so the situation is new.
What if Lucas insisted more, what if he stayed…
Now looking back, Lucas is handsome. He’s tall, tan and has a cheeky personality, foxy eyes. Wen knows this is stupid and maybe no one of these thoughts will stay tomorrow and the confident Wen will be back, ready to be the one to chase Lucas way if needed, but right now the dark clouds above his head won’t leave easily.
“Wen” Jim’s voice brings him back to Earth. “You’re okay? You’re not talking anymore.” Wen can’t deny he felt a little bitter with the fact this conversation doesn’t affect Jim at all. He knows it’s because Lucas never meant anything to him, but still…
When they lay on the bed, Wen let himself be hugged by Jim who seemed like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. Jim kissed his hair lightly and Wen let himself relax a little. Those annoying thoughts slowly disappearing. What happened in the past doesn't matter, he won't bother Jim with something he knows himself it's nothing. Maybe he'll ask some questions another day, when they're not this tired, ask more about Jim's life before Wen, and his thoughts on Wen.
But right now it's fine.
"Wen" Jim's voice was low in the calm of the night, as if he's afraid he will wake someone up if he spoke louder. "You're not upset, are you?"
Wen feels tired, he was about to sleep when Jim interrupted him. And no, Wen is not upset with him at all.
"No" was his response, a little lazy, but fully awake now that apparently the conversation won’t be another day anymore.
"You know… I had sex with Lucas a second time because I knew he was leaving. I know you're upset because I said we did it. You went too quiet after that"
"I was just thinking, I wasn't upset with you." Wen turn around so he can look at Jim, the room is not that dark so they can see each other well, just like the first time. "It surprised me a little, I'm not gonna lie"
Jim is silent and Wen doesn't know exactly what's going on in his head so Wen continued "I think I was just jealous for a while, you don't need to say anything about it"
“Jealous, huh” Jim poked Wen’s nose lightly, like he’s doing it to a child, something he most likely did to Liming when he was younger.
Yes, mean… what if he insisted more, never left and kept insisting until you gave in, like, you know…what I did“
“Wen… you didn’t insist until I gave in, I was yours from the start, just couldn’t-” Jim swallowed, and Wen thinks of hugging him and telling him he doesn’t need to do this. “I was the one who wanted you to stay, I never told you no, I wanted this. I wanted to keep coming t o me ” the last words were almost inaudible and Wen knows Jim is struggling to speak out his feelings, but wanted to assure Wen anyway.
“Thank you for telling me, then” Wen poked Jim’s nose back and the older man gave that look when he thought Wen was being a child.
They didn’t kiss or hug after this, but Jim stared at Wen’s asleep figure until Jim himself fell into a deep slumber.