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alone.
alone for days- weeks. kai had lost count. where he was didn't exactly have a clear concept of time, night and day an illusion, more so now with the merge, and the realms fighting to have their place in existence. where kai was, he didn't know. an island that didn't exist before the merge. yet, here he was, on the island. the bounty was nearby. relatively.. undamaged. save for a few cracks and some burnt wood. there were creatures, beings he'd never seen before on this island.
he stayed a while, collecting whatever fruits he could carry, hunting whatever small animals he could find. during this time, he also kept a keen eye out, searching for any of the others. but when he had circled the island at least three times, he knew he was alone. not even any citizens from ninjago were with him. he was truly alone.
his time on the island wasn't as peaceful as some would assume. he was attacked, he was fighting to survive. it was times like these where he made sure not to take his powers for granted. cooked meat, warmth, light, fresh water. all due to his fire. he had gained a few new scars from the creatures, on his arms and torso. the creatures were hunters, that was certain. they studied him when he wasn't aware, and they attacked him when his guard was down. it caused him to start sleeping up in the trees, but he wasn't very safe up there, either.
so, once he was absolutely certain nobody else was on the island, he made his way to the bounty. it took a few days, but he managed to jumpstart it, making sure the thrusters, the boosters, the steering- everything was in working order. he collected what little he had left of his food and water, stored it away on the bounty, and then left the island. of course, not without leaving some kind of symbol, a telltale sign that he had been there, but he had left to try and go home.
he was flying for a few weeks. coming across bits of ninjago, mixed with.. other realms he had both been to, and hadn't been to. he started taking notes of where he had been, what he had seen. it was all so strange, what could have caused this? could it ever be undone? would things ever be the same again? would he ever get home? it was hard to think about, the idea that, maybe this would all be permanent, that kai would never see his family or friends again.
and it wasn't often that kai cried. the few times he had, were when he lost nya. when he lost cole. but the overwhelming idea, the tiny voice in the back of his head, telling him that he'd never find anyone again? it was enough to make him cry until he wore out his voice. kai was stubborn, hardheaded. he'd be the least likely to back down from a fight, to steer clear of an adventure. he was always rushing in, head first to everything. he wasn't the one who would give up, even when times were desperate. but with literally nobody around, and fading hope, it was hard for the fire ninja to keep going. not just trying to get home, but finding a reason to go home.
what if nobody was there? what if the monastery was destroyed? what if he never found anyone again? tears pricked at his eyes as he set the bounty on autopilot, just flying straight through the open sky. kai walked over to the railing of the bounty, and just looked over. there was just sea below him. but from what realm? he didn't know. tears fell down his face as he just stared over the edge, down at the gentle waves of the sea. the memory of cole falling into the dark clouds flashed in his mind, and he let out a soft sob. the memory of nya fading away into the sea followed shortly after, and that stole a broken cry from him. and for a moment, through blurry vision, he imagined himself falling.
he imagined the bounty getting smaller and smaller as he fell towards the sea. he imagined what it would be like to let the water into his lungs, what it'd be like to feel the strong pull of the sea, pulling him down, down. he imagined what it would be like to stop breathing. would it hurt? would he feel the same fear that cole had felt when he was falling into those black clouds? would he feel the same relief that nya had felt when she merged with the sea? he didn't know, and he couldn't know unless he tried. his throat was raw, it burned from his crying. his face was wet, an awful feeling. everything was screaming at him to just.. hop the railing. to fall. to give up. that if nothing truly awaited him, why not just end it now? why be alone forever, trying to fix something he knew he couldn't even begin to fathom?
and he closed his eyes. and he fell. backwards, right onto his ass. he brought his knees up to his chest, curling up into a ball as he let out silent sobs. he couldn't. he couldn't just die like that. when he thought he truly lost nya to garmadon, all those years ago, wu had been there to help him back onto his feet. wu had helped him train, helped him team up with his best friends to save his sister. wu didn't let him give up. and kai would be damned if wu saw him giving up now. they were still out there, they all were. nya, cole, lloyd, zane, jay- all of them. every single one. and they had to be looking for him too.
ninja never quit, so how could he?
---
the days passed so slow, but so fast. he had genuinely lost track of time, only a clock and proper calendar could fix his concept of time. the bounty was running out of fuel, and he was still unsuccessful with his search. his food had long been finished off, and his water was nearing the same state. but he kept on going. he had scrolls of the places he'd been, the realms and kingdoms he had seen. all so different, so unusual and interesting. the bounty had taken some minor damage, but nothing that wasn't fixable when he got home. but, it wasn't long before an alarm was beeping, and pixal's automated voice came through: 'WARNING. FUEL LEVEL LOW.'
"great," he muttered, setting the bounty on autopilot again. he grabbed a scroll out of his bag, and leaned against the upper railing, looking over the deck. he wrote on the scroll, a personal one. a diary of sorts, documenting just his feelings on everything. kai was no writer, but he could get his feelings out pretty damn well through writing. he wrote down the fuel warning, and his current thoughts. depressing at it is, the small voice tells him to give up. it whispers that things won't get better, and he won't succeed in his search. and it's getting harder and harder for him to ignore it. and as he goes to write a final message, the bounty hits something. kai stumbles, dropping his scroll and pencil. he quickly rushes down to the deck, looking over the railing. it was.. a tree. he'd been hitting a lot of those lately. he was just thankful it wasn't another ambush by beings of another realm.
with a sigh, kai trudges back up the steps, but then he pauses. chills immediately rush through his body, and it's like he suddenly has a fever. he looks towards the front of the bounty, squinting. the clouds are too thick to see through, and he walks up to the front. his hand lights, and he tosses a fireball through the clouds. and he waits.
and waits.
then he throws another, a third one on the way before he stops, and his eyes widen.
in the distance, he sees a wall, with a fresh burn mark from his first fireball. the second one misses, flying past the wall. but it's unmistakable.
the monastery.
immediately, kai scrambles back to the steering wheel, taking it off autopilot as he brings it in to hover, just outside the wall. he lets the anchor down, slowly. he shuts off most of the power, leaving it floating in the air. kai heads to the back of the bounty, beginning to gather his things into a small bag. but he's stopped short as he hears what sounds like a soft thud, a sound he's too familiar with.
someone hopped onto the bounty.
he abandons his task, flipping up his hood as he wanders back up. he's quiet, listening. nobody's talking, not even a whisper, or a hard breath. whoever it is, they're alone. kai walks around the back, and glances down the side to the deck of the bounty. he doesn't even see anything for a second, before he's whipped up in a green blur, and slammed hard onto his back. he gasps for air as he looks up, and sees an unmistakable green gi, and fist coming down at him. his eyes widen, and he covers his head with a yell.
but, no contact is made. instead, he peeks through his eyes, and frustration overtakes him as he sees the other stumbling.
"what the hell, lloyd?!" he shouts, propping himself up as he flips his hood off. lloyd stands there for a second, seeming shocked as kai reaches his hand out to be helped up. "kai! sorry- i haven't seen anyone in weeks, i-" lloyd can't even finish his sentence as he helps kai up, the boy in too much disbelief. the two stare at each other for a moment, just unable to process the entire scene that played out just seconds ago. but kai is the first to move, arms out. lloyd already knows, and he lifts his own up before kai sweeps him up into a hug, spinning him, despite lloyd being taller than kai.
"so good to see you, buddy," kai speaks, voice filled with relief as his grip on lloyd is tight. lloyd's is tighter, "you too," he gets out in a soft laugh. kai sets lloyd back on his feet, but neither part from the other. they just hug each other tighter, minds racing a million miles a minute.
for them both, it's relief. lloyd finally found someone else, or- they found him. his hope can only grow, knowing that if kai survived, they all must have survived.
but, for kai? it's an indescribable feeling. his hope restored, relief a feeling he never knew he could so desperately need.
kai feels his legs growing weak, and it's not long before they fall to their knees, still hugging each other. and just seconds after, kai is burying his face in lloyd's shoulder, and he's crying. weeks and weeks of holding out, of ignoring the voice, the urges to just end it all. weeks of hatred, pain, suffering, crying, all of it- he'd do it all over again just to find lloyd. it's a weight lifted off his shoulders, and lloyd's nervous laughter and broken voice through his own tears silences any remaining doubts kai has.
he lived, he stuck through everything, and found lloyd. he cries harder, the guilt crashing down on him at the ideas of if he had killed himself, he wouldn't be here. he wouldn't be holding lloyd in his arms, feeling his brother's warmth, hearing his voice. lloyd would've been alone, all alone. with nobody. kai doesn't even realize he's apologizing to lloyd until the blonde is rubbing his back, "it's okay, kai! everything that happened isn't your fault. it's okay- calm down, bubba." kai lets out a sputtered laugh, shaking his head slightly as he pulls back, wiping at his face immediately.
"i'm sorry- i just-- so much happened, i didn't think i'd find you, or anyone- i was out of food, my water and fuel were running low- i didn't know if i could keep going, i don't-" his words are cut short by lloyd moving his hands to kai's shoulders, making the older look at him. "hey, it's okay. you held out, and you found me. we're together, and we're okay. it's okay, kai. i promise, it'll all be okay." the younger reassures, and they both smile at each other. and then, they're back into a tight hug, their hands subtly shaking. both have the fear that if one lets go, the other will disappear. and it's not an irrational fear this time, it very much could happen now.
but, for now. they're together again, reunited. all their worries washing away for just a moment of bliss. kai found lloyd, alive and well. if he's alive, the others have to be. they're out there somewhere. and he'll find them.
he won't give up.