Work Text:
A scorching hot mug between the palms of his hands, Atsushi was gazing upon the city’s roofs, sitting down at the window. The coldest days of the week were coming. Snow was lightly covering the streets. The sky was grey. The cityscape was frozen. Like an old black and white picture.
He raised his hot chocolate cup to his lips and took a sip. He appreciated the wintry atmosphere. Even during the long months he spent homeless, he had kept this childish fascination for snowflakes, cold and Christmas lights, for this whole time dysfunction.
“Sorry, I’m kinda late” a voice whispered to his ear.
Atsushi shook his head and smiled.
“You’re just in time for sunset.”
Akutagawa left a kiss on his cheek and went switching the kettle on. From their floor, they had an unobstructed view of the twilight. The sight was even more breath-taking these days, with the sun painting the snow in a light orange. So, every evening, Atsushi and Akutagawa both sat down at the window, huddling in large wool sweaters, a hot drink in their hands. This quick ritual allowed them to relax together for some minutes, sometimes for a couple of hours, before Atsushi leaves for his night service.
“How was your day ?” Atsushi asked when his fiancé took place beside him, a cup of tea between his fingers.
Akutagawa shrugged.
“Boring. A woman lost her dog. We found it around Hyde Park, chewing a dead bird. Some car theft stories. Paperwork. And that’s all, I think. They kept me a little longer so I could keep tabs on that guy that had nothing better to do other than stealing a cigarette packet and then punching a cop.”
Atsushi laughed and let his head rest on Akutagawa’s shoulder.
“How do you rate my chances to see this scary criminal tonight ?
—Non-existent. His parents paid his bail just before I left.”
Akutagawa stifled a yawn, then slowly brushed Atsushi’s hand, until taking it in his. The sun was starting to fall, bathing the horizon and the living room in a pale orange light. Silence reigned for a minute, only broken by the sounds of the city. Eventually, Atsushi raised his head.
“You know, I asked for a posting change. So I can work by day.”
He could instantly read confusion in his fiancé’s eyes.
“I thought you loved your night service ? Why ?”
Atsushi bent over Akutagawa and kissed his lips. They were warm, and soaked with the green tea flavour Akutagawa liked so much. They stayed like this for a few seconds, enjoying this very moment. Then Atsushi whispered into his fiancé’s mouth.
“I can’t keep going like this, barely seeing you. Once at dawn before I go to sleep, once at night before you go to bed, and on Sundays, when I’m not completely knocked out by sleepiness. This is not the life I want with you, and I know neither do you.”
Akutagawa lowered his chin.
“I don’t want you to leave your service because of me, Atsushi. You worked so hard in order to choose your posting…
—… and now” Atsushi interrupted, “what I want is to change it. To see you more often. Meet new people. Have new ways to work.”
Seeing how unconvinced Akutagawa seemed, he added with a little smile :
“Like this, we could work in the same team. The Nakajima-Akutagawa lieutenants against the rest of the world.
—Like it’s not already. You and me against the rest of the world” Akutagawa said, finally giving Atsushi one of his rare smiles.
He put his cup down, kissed his fiancé’s hair and moved his arms around his thin body.
“C’mere.”
Atsushi took place between his legs and rested his back against Akutagawa’s sweater, his hands gripping his forearms. The sun was now half hidden by London buildings’ roofs. People were wandering on the pavements, wrapped up in enormous coats, while cars were slowly running, afraid that the snow might cause them to have an accident. String lights were lighting up one by one, like tiny terrestrial star clouds. Floating in his sweater, cuddling his fiancé, Atsushi allowed himself to close his eyes, enjoying this warm and peaceful bubble. The sweet heat of the sun rays brushed his face. He curled up a little more in Akutagawa’s arms, willing to grave the shape of his body into his own.
“Ryuunosuke ?
—Mmmh ?
—I love you.”
He felt Akutagawa’s mouth on his shoulder.
“I love you too.”
The sun disappeared behind the horizon. The apartment was slowly diving in the dark. Yet, nobody bothered switching the lights on. Wrapped up in their hoodies, with their heart beating the same rhythm, they felt fine, just there, sitting in the corner of the window.
They stayed embraced for a long time, still, feeling each other’s warmth. Atsushi was the first one to put an end to this shared moment.
“I need to get ready” he whispered.
He reluctantly tore himself away from Akutagawa’s arms, and went to put his uniform up. He was a bit cold. He felt incomplete. And not even the thought of seeing his work team, finding back his habits and his beloved job managed to erase the angst taking over him. He had been repressing his negative feelings for months now, but it was like trying to control a growing powerful mass of water with a weak dam. It was harder and harder not giving in to let everything down and spend the rest of his life in Akutagawa’s arms.
He slapped his cheek. He was not breaking down now. Soon, he would work by day. Their paces of life would eventually match. Only less than a month to last.
“Hey, Atsushi… Is everything okay ?”
Akutagawa passed the doorstep and cupped his fiancé’s face in his hands. With a gentle gesture of the thumb, he wiped away a tear unintentionally rolling on Atsushi’s cheek. His lips approached his fiancé’s face, and he kissed his nose, his cheekbones, his forehead, his temples, his chin, and ended up with his mouth. Atsushi let himself rest against him, gripped his hoodie, buried his head in his shoulder. Akutagawa held him tighter. Minutes passed by, quiet. They stayed up in the middle of the room, slightly and slowly swinging from time to time.
“I’m not quite good at expressing my feelings” Akutagawa whispered “but let me tell you one thing, Atsushi Nakajima. No matter the choices you’ll make, I’ll follow you. You will never, ever, find a man prouder of his fiancé than I am.”
Atsushi sniffled, muffling a sob.
“You’ll let me sleep with your hoodie in the morning ?”
“Since you need so little things” answered Akutagawa, half a smile coming across his face.
Slowly, Atsushi loosened his embrace, wiped his tears away and raised his head up.
“Thank you.”
Akutagawa brushed his lips against his one last time before Atsushi made his way to the front door. Once again, he was sleeping alone that night. Atsushi glanced at him and smiled a mischievous smile.
“You can take my hoodie if you want. Good night sweetheart.”
And he closed the door behind him.
Akutagawa bit his lips and layed down on the bed, whose sheets were still crumpled. His hand met the white wool of Atsushi’s hoodie. He pulled it back to him and buried his face in it, drowning in his fiancé’s smell, whom he knew by heart, wishing to lose himself in it, just a matter of a few hours.
Fucking night unit.