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It’s nearly 5am when Chan, Jisung and Changbin arrive at their dorm, sluggishly trudging inside - a great way to start one of their rare off days that they *should* use to relax. Due to the upcoming release of their third full album, their schedules have been insanely hectic, forcing them to stay up into the ungodly hours of the night. Working on finishing up songs and tying loose ends together until well after the sun has risen, almost on a daily basis.
Although this is nothing new for the 3racha trio, it’s always different when you feel like you have to pull all-nighters, instead of choosing to do so yourself.
“Guys, I feel like I’m gonna pass out, in like, 0.2 seconds. Gonna go try to make it to my bed before that happens, you should probably do the same. All of us look like corpses right now, very very tired corpses.”, Jisung mumbles once all three of them are inside their living room, door closed behind them and shoes haphazardly thrown off to land somewhere in the corridor. That’s something for their future selves to deal with.
“I’ll hop in the shower really quick and will then pass the fuck out too, I’ll try to be quiet, but I’m pretty sure you’ll be out fast enough to not hear anything either way.”, Changbin mumbles back, an amused smile slightly lifting up through the layers of tiredness he can almost physically feel weighing down on his face. He takes a look at Chan, who simply adds a quiet “Gonna go to sleep now too.”, lets his eyes drift from his hyung’s exhausted expression to his tousled hair, messy and returning to its natural curly state, a result of Chan repeatedly running his hands through it in frustration over the course of the day. And as he does, he thinks that he doesn’t believe the older’s words. He’s known Chan for long enough, knows him even too well maybe, can see through his nonchalant facade and notice the way his fingers are twitching impatiently by his sides, the way his eyes look far off into some kind of void like he’s brainstorming more ideas for their music even now.
He makes a mental note to check on Chan once he’s finished with his shower.
This leads him to stand in front of the door to Chan’s room roughly 30 minutes later, dressed now in a loose, black tank top with matching black boxers. His hair is still slightly wet and probably looks horribly messy, but he’ll be damned before he turns on a blowdryer at the asscrack of dawn, when at least Hyunjin and Jisung are definitely asleep, instead having just quickly towel-dried it.
Taking a moment to listen to his surroundings, he can’t make out any noises coming from Chan’s room that would allude to the older being awake, but Changbin isn’t convinced, so he gently opens the door and peeks his head inside.
He’s met with the sight of Chan in his bed, illuminated only by the glow of the LED tiles above his bed - not lying down or sleeping however, but instead sitting against his bed’s headboard with the blanket pushed down to his thighs, his laptop sitting atop them as he idly types away at it. As expected, the shirt he’d worn earlier isn’t on him anymore, his torso bare - over his ears are headphones, his gaze zeroed in on the laptop’s screen, making him none the wiser to Changbin’s presence.
Changbin sighs, the scene in front of him not unexpected but still upsetting. Especially considering that he knows the older was having even more trouble with sleeping than he usually did lately. He makes his way further into the room, closing the door behind his back while keeping his eyes on Chan’s figure. And God, he looks even more exhausted now, hair somehow managing to look even more askew than it did before, a sign of further frustration on Chan’s part. Changbin decides then, that this shall not stand. He won’t idly watch as his leader burns himself out, always so kind and thoughtful towards others, but ultimately failing to treat himself with nearly as much love.
Changbin creeps closer to Chan’s bed, trying not to startle the other but also wanting him to snap out of whatever’s got him this damn fixated on his screen. And finally, as Changbin stands pretty much right in front of Chan’s bed, he whips his head up and looks at his intruder, face softening once he realizes who it is, but then immediately morphing into something more akin to guilt as he takes in the worried, slightly exasperated look on Changbin’s face.
Chan moves to take off his headphones, opening his mouth to say something, but the younger beats him to it. “You know, it’s way too easy to get in here unnoticed when you’re so focused on your work, you should be glad that it’s only me, and not some robber ready to assault you. Or even better, a Stay trying to finally get their hands on that damn laptop, maybe that wouldn’t even be so bad right now.”, Changbin tells him, arms crossing over his chest in an attempt to look stern. He isn’t genuinely upset with the other’s behavior, knows Chan just can’t help it when important deadlines are coming up for comebacks, but he also needs him to know that he isn’t going to simply let this slide.
And Chan understands. “Bin I-, I really did try to sleep, honest. But I couldn’t get myself to, there’s just too many things swirling around in my head, so I thought why not at least be productive instead of just sitting around here, doing nothing.”, he tries to explain himself, growing quiet near the end. “You know I understand that, but there’s only so much work you can do in a day and you’ve done more than enough already. It’s one of the only off days we’ve had in a while today, and you’re sitting here at like 6:30, still on your laptop. Surely you can also understand where I’m coming from hyung, no?”
Chan’s gaze casts downwards at his lap, expression sheepish and slightly embarrassed, and underneath it all so, so exhausted.
“Channie hyung…”
He refuses to meet Changbin’s eyes even though he knows that’s exactly what the other is trying to get him to do, still just looking downwards and yet not really looking at anything at all, gaze unfocused.
“Okay, so no talking right now, got it. That doesn’t mean we won’t talk about this at some point though, I hope you’re aware of that. I am not above holding another “selfcare for dummies, aka chan” intervention and I will get the kids involved so they can keep an eye on you too, old man. They already do, they’re not any less worried than I am.”, Changbin says after a few moments. When Chan still doesn’t respond afterwards, he decides he’s had enough and needs to take actual action to get Chan to sleep. “You know what we’re going to do instead of talking?”, he asks, moving closer to Chan until he’s standing right beside him. “I am going to give you the most relaxing, bone-melting massage of your life and you’re going to lie down and take it until you turn into a puddle of sleepy goo. No protests, hyung.” As he says this, he unceremoniously yanks Chan’s laptop out from where his hands are resting atop it, mindful to unplug the headphones so as to not literally rip them off of Chan’s head, placing both items onto the nightstand next to the bed.
That seems to do the trick of getting Chan out of his stupor, eyes blinking up at Changbin in surprise as tries to wrap his head around whether or not he’d heard Changbin correctly. “You’re going to what?” “Give you a massage, idiot. I’ve gotten enough from Lix to know the basic gist and enough strength to really soothe out the tension that must’ve built up all over your body, so move your ass and lie down on your stomach.” A few moments later, Changbin adds, more gently: “Please let me try to help you relax, hyung. I’m worried about you and this is the only thing I could think of as a solution for your sleeping situation right now.” He takes one of Chan’s hands into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze to convince him to let himself be taken care of for once. “Even our big leader needs some help sometimes, okay? And I’m here for you, right now, to offer that.”
Chan considers his offer carefully, silently feeling guilt seep in at keeping Changbin awake like this, but he also can’t help but be tempted when he thinks about feeling the younger’s warm hands on his body, working out the tension that had indeed inevitably built up over the past weeks. He is enamored with his members, always has been, and he’s got the most emotional history especially with Changbin, their younger days filled with discussions and fights, things that, in the end, only managed to bring them closer together.
And so, he thinks he can trust him with this, with himself. The younger wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to, he knows that.
Still not feeling up for any words, Chan meets Changbin’s eyes, managing a small, almost shy smile as he squeezes his hand in return. Then he lets go and slowly turns around to lie down onto his stomach as requested, trying not to groan as he finally, really lets himself feel the stiffness that’s been building up, now that he isn’t distracting himself with work. He lets his head rest on his pillow, turned towards Changbin, arms going lax next to his sides. Involuntarily, his eyes fall closed, which is the last of Chan’s movements before he goes still, letting himself be completely in Changbin’s care.
Changbin takes a moment to gather himself. While he was glad that Chan was letting him help and he genuinely thinks a massage sounds like a good idea, he’d let a bit more confidence shine through while convincing Chan than he actually has in his massaging abilities. So he gently lets out a “Tell me if anything I’m doing hurts, hyung.” before moving to get into a better position. Carefully, he moves closer to the bed, lifting himself up and straddling the back of Chan’s thighs, right beneath his bum, hands hovering in the air as he contemplates what to do first.
Chan doesn’t seem to mind the wait, not reacting outwardly at all, although he is a bit surprised when he feels the younger’s weight on top of him - he doesn’t know what position he had expected Changbin to choose for his massage.
As he gets used to it though, he can’t help but notice how nice this feels already, the weight of the other’s body slightly pressing him further into his mattress, Changbin’s legs smooth and warm against his own.
It shouldn’t be so easy, but he already feels his body becoming more relaxed, amplified even more when Changbin’s hands finally decide to settle on him, coming to rest on his shoulders. Chan feels him grasp onto them, gently kneading the sore muscles over and over. He can feel how concentrated Chanbin is, fingers moving as if this isn’t the first time he’s given him a massage, as if he already knows where he needs to push and knead to get Chan’s tension to unravel.
After repeating this motion for a few minutes, during which Changbin grows more confident in applying stronger pressure, Chan letting out a soft hum of approval, he moves to glide his hands further outwards to Chan’s upper arms. He lets his hands cup them firmly, slowly sliding over the length of the limbs down to his wrists, then back up, feeling them go completely lax under his ministrations. Changbin’s body leaning over Chan’s, he is able to put all of his own weight into applying steady pressure with his hands, and Chan? Chan hadn’t known it could feel so good to have this much attention directed towards his arms, any massages he’d usually get by Felix or the others mostly focused on his shoulders and back.
He thinks back to Changbin’s earlier words, how he’d “turn him into goo”, and he thinks that this is honestly possible. Pressed down into the soft mattress, blanket still covering him up to his knees and the body above him weighing down onto him, he feels encompassed in a bubble of reassuring warmth, grounding him into enjoying this moment right here and now, letting his thoughts stay in the present instead of flitting away to any doubts or work. On another note, he’d missed moments of bodily closeness like this, hours and days of being holed up in his studio leaving him craving the other members’ affection. He’d pushed those feelings away, but now, with Changbin showing such care to him, he can’t help but feel slightly giddy under the touch he’d so dearly missed deep down.
Changbin snaps him out of this train of thought as his hands move again, feeling them coming to rest on top of his shoulder blades, before moving down his back, breath quietly hitching for a second as he feels the younger’s hands brush against the waistband of his boxers, only for a second, before they move back up the expanse of his back. The pressure being applied steadily increases again as the hands on Chan’s back languidly move up and down repeatedly. Chan feels his body being pressed into the mattress beneath him with each movement, involuntarily making something else start to swirl deep in his core besides the comfort and love he’s feeling. He squirms, his fingers involuntarily twitch at his sides, but he ultimately decides to just stay quiet, let himself lay there and enjoy the sensation. The more logical parts of his brain that would worry about making Changbin uncomfortable are turned off, as his thoughts are being reduced to a hazy void, body feeling heated and floaty.
Suddenly, the hands on Chan’s back slow in their movement and come to a stop on his waist, Changbin falling into a predicament that goes entirely unnoticed by the other. Of course he’d seen Chan’s body countless times, the older was practically always shirtless at home - but in this setting, sitting on top of Chan in his room, his bed, hands working over the other’s torso as they are illuminated only by the warm light of the LED tiles above them, it feels… intimate. He lets his gaze roam over the body beneath him, Chan’s broad shoulders that carry more weight than he could ever imagine, his arms toned from countless workouts. His hands, that constantly work on perfecting his craft, and his back. God, his back, so broad towards the top of his torso, but growing more narrow towards his slim waist. He gives it a squeeze where his hands are resting on it, and he thinks, honestly, that there’s no better place for them to be. That this is where they belong, gripping gently right into the most prominent dip beneath Chan’s ribs, feeling his body’s warmth and its soft skin, fondness and affection blooming in his chest.
He’s startled out of his thoughts as Chan quietly lets out a confused “Bin?”, and he realizes that he hasn’t moved his hands at all, entirely too mesmerized by the way they fit into the dip of his waist.
He chuckles, a bit embarrassed, leaning forward to press a soft peck right between Chan’s shoulder blades. “Sorry hyung, got a bit distracted. Want me to do your thighs too? They’re probably really sore from dance practice, hm?” He asks, noticing, now that he’s clear-minded again, how the other startles slightly during the peck and how he squirms at the mention of Changbin massaging his thighs. This confuses him, but he decides to let it go for now as he waits for Chan to answer. “Uhm, yeah, sure, if you don’t mind.” Is what comes from the older, Changbin moving his own body down to straddle his shins, hands cupping around his lower thighs, near his knees. He’s even more confused now by Chan’s timid response, hands beginning to press into and move up his thighs as he takes in the stiff muscles beneath his fingers, pointedly trying to ignore how nice the picture of his hands grabbing onto them looks.
He focuses on the lower part of his thighs for a few moments, really squeezing into them and kneading at the tension there, appreciating how firm they feel under his fingers, how soft the skin is. Mentally scolding himself, he quickly pushes away a thought about how much softer the inner part of Chan’s thighs must be, warmth flaring across his face.
As he makes his way further up, he feels Chan start to squirm slightly once again, brows scrunching together momentarily as he lets out a tiny “hng-” once Changbin’s fingers reach the end of his boxers, thighs closing in on themselves the tiniest bit and hips involuntarily pressing down into the mattress, and oh.
Changbin thinks he understands now, Chan going dead quiet, mortified as he tries not to move a single muscle, aware that Changbin had noticed his movement and hoping that he didn’t make the younger uncomfortable.
What he doesn’t expect is for Changbin to start laughing quietly a moment later, voice filled with amusement as he says: “So that’s what’s got you so on edge. Come on you horndog, let’s go to sleep before my attempts at making you tired have the opposite effect.” Before Chan can say anything or try to apologize, Changbin lifts himself up and then promptly flops down to lie next to Chan, lifting the blanket up further over both of them as he grabs at him. He positions himself on his side, before pulling the older towards his own body, effectively making them spoon with Chan’s back to his front, a leg thrown over Chans’ and an arm resting over his stomach, pulling them closer together. Chan just lets himself be pulled wordlessly, still tired despite his embarrassment, a blush riding high on his cheeks and ears as he wonders how Changbin can be so nonchalant about the fact that his massage left Chan aroused and half hard in his boxers. “Don’t worry about it hyung, I don’t mind.”,
whispers Changbin into his neck as if he was able to read Chan’s mind, pulling him a final bit closer, and oh.
Chan struggles through his bleary mind to understand what feels so different now, when he realizes it. Body pressed reassuringly against his, Changbin’s front is now flush with his backside, and Chan feels, unmistakingly, that the younger is in a similar predicament to him, even if he can’t see the color that has now risen to Changbin’s cheeks too. “Sleep now, Channie hyung.”, is the last thing Changbin mumbles.
There’s a lot to unpack here, between the two of them, but Chan feels his eyes finally shutting for good, dozing off to the comforting warmth of Changbin behind him, of his steady heartbeat pressed into his back, and he decides that the conversation they should probably hold is also something for their future selves to deal with.