Work Text:
Eiji,
By the time you read this, if you ever do, I’ll be dead. You already know, but I couldn’t reach the airport. I got the ticket and your letter. While reading the end, I somehow made it to the library. I swear the sun came through the window, shining down on me at those words: My soul is always with you. Was it true? It couldn't have been. I don't really care much about the afterlife or death, but I'm sure souls never leave the people who are still alive. Maybe my soul will be with you though when I run out of time. It has nowhere else to go. It will stay here, waiting.
You’re safe, far from New York by now. This city, my life, would have taken yours. I felt so much guilt seeing you on that bed. I almost convinced myself you didn’t make it and that bullet wound was fatal. Something in the back of my mind tells me that you shouldn’t have survived. What doesn’t make sense is how you asked me if I was okay. Maybe I am smarter than you or still don’t fully understand the extent of your sincerity. How much you truly care for me. It's hard to believe sometimes.
For a moment, I thought life could be different but being stabbed on the street brought me back to reality. I realized with you I’m not allowed to fly. I envy you for having wings. They were there when you went over the wall. In my eyes, I saw them. How did it feel? Like freedom?
I can’t put it into words, probably because my head is drifting, but there’s a warmth that I feel when you’re with me.
I have so much more to say and not much time. They do say some things are better left unspoken, right?
Fate can’t be stopped or changed. You couldn’t protect me from it and you couldn’t save yourself, but you tried to both all at once.
We are in different worlds.
You also taught me how to say goodbye. Now that I know how I don’t want to anymore.
-Ash