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English
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Part 1 of Between You and Me
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Published:
2023-05-24
Completed:
2024-11-12
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211,399
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28/28
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Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 28: Epilogue

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hao taps his foot impatiently, glancing from his wristwatch to the arrivals gate, barely able to mask his irritation. Next to him, a group of foreigners with giant “Welcome Home” banners are already close to tears, even though the plane has just landed. Hao yawns, pulling his face mask higher over his nose, and rubs the fatigue from his eyes.  

Then, he spots him. Ji Woong strides through the gate, rolling a black trolley, obnoxiously thick-framed glasses perched on his face, and hair tousled in every direction—likely from trying every sleep position imaginable on the long flight from Germany to South Korea.  

 “Where’s my grand ‘Welcome Home’ banner?” Ji Woong teases, his smirk widening as he approaches. Hao sighs in exaggerated exasperation, but a smile slips through despite himself.  

 “Hey, baby,” Ji Woong murmurs, closing the distance between them in a few strides and practically jumping into Hao’s arms, wrapping him in a tight embrace.  

It’s been four months since they last saw each other. In the grand scheme, it’s nothing. They’d once been apart for two years when Ji Woong enlisted shortly after ZEROBASEONE disbanded, leaving Hao to adjust to life without him. Ji Woong had even offered to let Hao see other people, probably feeling guilty about leaving for so long. But Hao hadn’t taken him up on it; he knew that, however much Ji Woong could drive him crazy, no one else could ever mean as much to him.  

It’s been ten years. They’ve fought, made up, and built lives of their own since the group dissolved. All of them have. But somehow, the nine of them have kept in close touch, a lifeline through the highs and lows of fame.  

Now, Matthew and Han Bin are engaged and expecting their first child through a surrogate.  

Hao shakes his head, thinking about it. Matthew had lucked out with Canadian citizenship, which gave Han Bin that same freedom. After spending a few years in a new group, the two had left the music industry behind, moving to a countryside home near Toronto. They’d opened a dance studio, creating a quiet life out of the spotlight. A few months back, Hao had received a meticulously sealed invitation to their wedding.  

Now, they’re back in South Korea to celebrate with everyone, and Ji Woong had flown in from Germany, taking time out from his packed filming schedule.  

As for Hao, he’s still here. Of course, he enjoys his career as a recording artist, writing for other artists and occasionally releasing his own work. But sometimes, he envies Matthew and Han Bin’s life—the privacy, the freedom to live openly, a luxury he and Ji Woong still don’t have.  

At least now, with age, the public isn’t as invested in his private life. Ji Woong has transitioned into an international acting career, with productions in Europe and America, which gives him more freedom. But here in South Korea, things haven’t changed much. Their relationship remains private, hidden from the public eye.  

And marriage? In both China and South Korea, that’s still not an option.  

It doesn’t matter how many times Ji Woong has begged or tried to find ways around it. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t marry in their own countries.  

As they reach their apartment, Ji Woong chatters enthusiastically about Germany. It’s all he seems to want to talk about.  

 “Germany’s amazing,” he says, dropping his bags by the door. “You see couples everywhere. Guys holding hands, people kissing on the street—it’s just normal there.”  

Hao listens, biting back his frustration as Ji Woong goes on about how refreshing it was to be in a place where no one batted an eye at same-sex couples. It’s clear Ji Woong is energized by the freedom he’s found abroad, but for Hao, it just stings.  

That afternoon, he listens to more of it. Wedding plans for Matthew and Han Bin, Ji Woong’s tales of Europe, how happy everyone is. And Hao smiles through it, but all the while, he can’t help but feel a pang of envy. It’s the life he wants, too—that picture-perfect world where he and Ji Woong can walk down the street hand in hand without a care, where they can make a life together without tiptoeing around society’s expectations.  

But right now, it feels like a world he’ll only ever be able to look at from a distance.  

 

 

 

***

CHAPTER 28: EPILOGUE

 

 

 

It felt oddly surreal to be back in the restaurant near their old dormitory, a place they used to visit every now and then. The place had changed little—except for the absence of the old owner, who had tragically passed away, with his son now running things. Choi Min Ho posters still adorned the walls, the food was still greasy, and the cocktails were still dangerously potent.  

It was as if nothing had really changed. Except for the constant shadow of time, creeping in.  

Oh, and Yu Jin’s new look. His hair, now cropped short in a sharp military cut, a sign that he was preparing to leave for enlistment in just a few days. Everyone was happy that they could squeeze in a reunion before Yu Jin became the last of them to serve, now that Gun Wook had completed his duty.  

  “Still single?” Hao asks, his voice breaking through the quiet hum of nostalgia, as Tae Rae twirls his wine glass in hand like an overly sophisticated sitcom mom.  

Tae Rae scowls, clearly irritated. “Just got dumped.”  

  “Oh,” Hao replies, clearly unsure of how to follow up.  

Tae Rae chuckles bitterly. “Gay men are... trash. You want to know why he broke up with me? He said I was ‘too feminine,’ and I embarrassed him in public. At thirty-six, and he’s still playing that card? Should’ve never wasted my time on a guy who’s still in the closet.”  

  “I'm so sorry.” Ji Woong says.  

  “It's okay. You're just really lucky, Hao.”  

Hao points at himself with wide, confused eyes. “Me, lucky?”  

  “You have a hot boyfriend.”  

  “Why are you saying I have a hot boyfriend and not saying Ji Woong has a hot boyfriend?”  

  “I'm not going to comment.”  

Yeah, nothing changed indeed. Hao and Tae Rae are still able to banter about without any consequences, and Ji Woong is still just Hao's oblivious plus one, partaking in all his conversations without any invitation.  

  “Alright guys, I think it's time to toast on this great night!” Han Bin shouts over the masses, trying to silence their big group sitting around the table. Everyone in the meantime had arrived. Except for Ricky, apparently, his flight from China to South Korea had been delayed.  

They all raise their glass, celebrating a night of laughter and nostalgia. And, of course, toasting to Han Bin and Matthew's soon becoming espoused.   

Gun Wook, Gyu Vin and Yu Jin are all part of a successful boy group, D:EX, that's currently on hiatus due to multiple members enlisting, Gun Wook and Gyu Vin having recently fulfilled their duty and doing solo schedules and work now and then. Tae Rae has been in another boy group briefly after their disbandment, only to leave WakeOne a year after and become a singer-songwriter. At the workplace, Hao and Tae Rae saw each other quite often, both working on a lot of OSTs, in the same recording studios.   

And then, there's Ricky, a successful model and fashion house endorser in China, having multiple brand deals under his belt and on the verge of starring in his first C-drama.   

All have branched out, had different careers after ZB1, but when they're together again like this, it feels like they're all still on the same wavelength, still pursuing that naive dream together they'd started in their early twenties.  

It still felt like a crime to see Yu Jin drinking alcohol. It was a reminder of how time had slipped by unnoticed. Even more shocking was the knowledge that Gun Wook was now in a relationship. Hao couldn't help but think how strange it was, almost like he was watching his estranged children grow up without having seen the process that led to this moment. After all, he'd been too wrapped up in his solo career, keeping the contact casual, meeting up with each of them separately, just every so often.  

But now, all of them together like this, it felt like a lifetime had passed.  

  “So, you two are still together?” Gyu Vin asked, gesturing toward Ji Woong and Hao, as he flipped greasy meat on the barbecue grill, still chewing on a piece himself.  

 “No, we broke up,” Hao replied, deadpan, a small chuckle escaping him as he said it.  

The table fell silent for a moment, and then everyone burst into laughter, the tension breaking as easily as it had settled.  

  “You’re such a liar, Hao,” Gyu Vin teased, tossing a chunk of meat onto Ji Woong’s plate. “You’re still as whipped as ever.”  

Ji Woong raised an eyebrow but didn’t miss a beat. “Trust me, he's only staying for my cooking skills and the sex.”  

Hao slaps his arm violently. “Shut up. I'm not staying for the cooking skills.”  

  “You two are so shameless. Back in the days, you still used to have shame.” Gyu Vin snarls, quasi-annoyed.  

Yu Jin laughs too, though his chuckle’s a little softer, more like he was savoring the moment. “I missed this. All of us, together. Feels like old times. If only Ricky could be here soon.”  

  “Yeah, I miss Ricky. I haven't seen him in a while,” Gun Wook admits. “He's always so busy, getting booked left and right.”  

It's as if they're calling for him, because the moment Ricky's name rolls off the tip of their tongues, the door of the restaurant sweeps open with a dramatic creak and in walks Ricky, like he had been summoned by the very mention of his name. The familiar, effortless class with which he enters is enough to turn heads. The usual. That vein bastard.  

  “Speaking of the devil,” Hao says, his voice teasing as he looked up. “Speak of Ricky, and he appears.”  

Ricky grins, his confidence still as sharp as ever. “Did I hear my name?” he asks, raising an eyebrow as he scans the table.  

  “Yeah, you’re famous now, Ricky. We were just talking about how you’ve made it big and left us all behind,” Gun Wook shoots back, his grin matching Ricky’s.  

Ricky laughs and pulls up a chair. “You guys know I’m too busy for this low-level fame.” He drops into his seat, still looking as put together as he had in their fetus days, despite his ancient age of thirty. “You lot are still trying to make it as if you’re not all living your best lives, huh?”  

  “Some of us are too busy being shameless,” Tae Rae quips, glancing at Hao.  

Ricky just shook his head with a dramatic sigh. “Yeah, I see. Nothing ever changes.”  

The whole group bursts into laughter, and it’s clear that tonight calls for a true celebration.  

 “Congratulations to Han Bin and Matthew, our very first wedded couple!” Yu Jin declares loudly, raising his glass high. Everyone follows suit, clinking their glasses together for yet another toast—because when it comes to moments like these, there’s no such thing as too many toasts.  

Han Bin and Matthew are practically glowing, smiles stretched ear to ear. Beneath the table, they’re holding hands, Matthew’s head resting gently on Han Bin’s shoulder as he leans in close, a picture of happiness.  

 “So cute,” Tae Rae says dryly. “I think I’m suddenly cured of my homophobia.”  

 “And… you’re also going to be parents soon, right?” Yu Jin chimes in, prompting all eyes to land on the couple with a mix of excitement and awe.  

Han Bin nods, his expression already that of a proud parent. “Yeah, we’re expecting. Just a few weeks ago, the surrogacy got confirmed—we’re having a little one.”  

Ricky grins, mischief lighting up his eyes. “So, how many months along are you, Matthew?”  

Matthew narrows his eyes but doesn’t miss a beat. “Are you fat-shaming me?”  

 “Absolutely not,” Ricky smirks. “But you’ve definitely been eating well.”  

Matthew raises an eyebrow, then lets a slow, amused smile cross his lips. “Well, they say you put on a little happy weight when you’re in a good relationship. Han Bin’s been making sure I’m well-fed. Now, what about you, Ricky?”  

Ji Woong chimes in, smirking. “Yeah, Ricky’s single as ever.”  

Ricky shrugs, unfazed. “I’m just exploring the market, all right?”  

 “Oh, please,” Hao teases, shaking his head. “You’re thirty. Time to settle down.”  

Ricky lets out an exaggerated gasp, clutching his chest as if wounded. “Thirty is the new twenty, thank you! I still have time to play the field.”  

Amid the laughter and clinking glasses, Hao notices something—someone, really—who isn’t joining in as usual. Gyu Vin has been unusually quiet since Ricky walked through the door.  

It’s odd; they were practically inseparable back in their ZEROBASEONE days, with Gyu Vin always quick to toss a joke or playful jab Ricky’s way. But tonight, he’s barely acknowledging him, sipping his diet Coke with all the enthusiasm of someone at a silent retreat.  

Not that it’s any of Hao’s business. Friendships change; people grow closer, drift apart. Still, he can’t shake the feeling that something is off between them. It’s like the tension is tangible, something only a few might catch if they were paying attention.  

Hao glances at Ji Woong across the table, and they exchange a look—a silent, mutual understanding that’s grown over years of their relationship. It’s as if they’re passing thoughts telepathically. When Hao stands to go outside for a smoke, Ji Woong is right behind him, no words needed.  

  “Did you start smoking again?” Ji Woong says, annoyed, snatching the cigarette out of Hao's hand before he can even light it.  

  “You're not my dad.”   

  “Actually, I am. I don't like you smelling like nicotine.”  

Hao sighs. “Whatever. I just wanted to get some fresh air, really, my social battery is slowly running out as usual.”  

Ji Woong seats himself on the stone stairs in front of the hidden bar, buried deep in his jacket. A core memory in Hao's mind unlocks, that one time they were also outside of the bar together, the one night the two of them had finally hit it off after all the pushing and pulling. They'd sat together on these steps, in front of the same bar. Both had been much younger, much naiver.  

Now, life is way different. Except for the fact that they still have each other.  

  “Am I going crazy, or is there definitely some tension between Ricky and Gyu Vin.” Ji Woong says suddenly, kicking his feet back and forth.  

Hao's gaze widens. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”  

Ji Woong rolls his eyes, slipping the unlit cigarette into his pocket. "Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”  

Hao chuckles, letting out a breath that fogs in the chilly night air. “Feels like something’s… unresolved, right? I mean, they barely even looked at each other back there.”  

Ji Woong leans back, gazing up at the sky, his expression thoughtful. “Back then, Gyu Vin and Ricky were inseparable. Makes you wonder what could’ve happened to change that.”  

  “Yeah,” Hao nods, resting his elbows on his knees. “But I guess that’s life. Friendships shift, people change... We’re just lucky, I suppose.”  

Ji Woong gives him a half-smile, nudging him gently. “Yeah, we are. Somehow, we still end up out here, freezing our butts off together, just like old times.”  

They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment, letting the night settle around them. Eventually, Ji Woong speaks up again, his tone softer, almost musing. “Do you ever think about how much we’ve changed since then?”  

  “Sometimes,” Hao admits, glancing down the street, where faint laughter and the clink of glasses drift through the air. “We've become so much more mature, haven't we? Yet, at the same time, I feel like things didn't change between us much. I still have the same feeling every time I see you. That feeling of, God, I'm so lucky to have you .”  

Ji Woong pouts, touched. “Hao, I never thought I could love someone the way I've been loving you. I always think of you when we're apart, you know how tough I had it in the military. I'd just be crying myself to sleep every night because I missed you so, so much. These months in Germany as well. I am sorry I've been texting you so much, just everything I've seen, I wanted to share with you. Because you're not just the one I love, you're also my best friend, you know?”  

Hao pushes Ji Woong's thigh, his sigh a little shaky. “God, why are we being so sentimental right now?”  

Ji Woong laughs, wiping his eyes as if to brush off the emotion. "You started it," he murmurs, a soft smile breaking through.  

Hao chuckles, though his own eyes look suspiciously glassy. “Fine, I’ll take the blame.” He glances over at Ji Woong, his expression softening as their fingers lock. “But you know, it’s not like I didn’t feel it too. While you were in Germany, every time my phone buzzed with one of your messages, it was like I was right there with you. I could picture every place you described, just because you were the one describing it.”  

They fall into silence again, the kind that feels like an unspoken embrace. The streetlight casts a warm glow over them, illuminating the quiet understanding that years together have built.  

Ji Woong, breaking the silence, takes a steadying breath. “It’s funny, isn’t it? We were so young, so… clueless back then. I never thought someone could make me feel this seen. And here we are—still together, even though we've been through so much.”  

Hao smiles, squeezing Ji Woong’s hand gently. "Here we are," he says softly, as if the words alone are a promise.  

They gaze at the stars a bit, the night sky slowly migrating over the earth. Hao's so focused on the soft grasp of their hands, the beautiful scenery, that he doesn't notice .  

  “Hao.” Ji Woong suddenly says, his tone tender and soft.  

Hao turns, heart skipping at the softness of Ji Woong's voice, his eyes meeting Ji Woong's gaze. For a moment, the world seems to stop—everything but Ji Woong and the look in his eyes.  

And then, he sees it. Ji Woong is on one knee, the soft light from the stars catching his features, making him look almost ethereal. Hao's breath catches, his pulse racing as he processes the sight before him.  

  “Ji Woong-”  

 “Hao, I know we can't marry in South Korea, and I know it's painful to see how every day more and more of our rights are being stripped away here. But I'll make sure that, no matter what or how, I'm going to marry you,” Ji Woong continues, his eyes never leaving Hao's. “I want you to be my husband. I want to be there next to you every day, even if that means I'll have to give up my career overseas and I'll have to stay with you in South Korea, I'll do it. Because to be fair, I can't live without you.”  

He pauses, his words becoming more fragile, like he’s giving Hao a piece of his very soul.  

  “So... will you promise me... that... if the possibility arises, you'll marry me for real?”  

Hao sits there, struck by the magnitude of Ji Woong’s words, tears pricking in his eyes because how could they not ? The weight of the world seems to rest on this moment, the truth of Ji Woong’s love clear and unapologetic. Something he knows but will hit him tenderly every time.  

He doesn’t need to think about it—his answer is already there, burning bright within him. But he feels like if he speaks now, he'll just burst into tears which is not the way he wanted this night to end.  

  “Hao?” Ji Woong prompts softly, ungrounded anxiety creeping into his voice for the first time.  

Hao smiles through the tears prickling in his eyes. His pinkish cheeks are flushed from the emotions he can’t hold back, his voice trembling as he speaks.  

  "I promise," Hao says hoarsely, his voice barely holding together, "If that day ever comes, I will marry you. No matter the circumstances, I will marry you."  

Ji Woong, overwhelmed with joy, rises slowly, his heart racing, and kisses Hao with a fervor that speaks to the depths of his feelings. The kiss is passionate, a silent declaration of all the love and longing he’s carried for so long.   

When he pulls back, he dives into Hao's arms, holding him so tightly that Hao can barely catch his breath.  

  "Easy, easy," Hao laughs softly, trying to catch his breath, but the joy in Ji Woong’s eyes is so palpable, it feels like everything in the world has finally fallen into place.  

  "Sorry, I’m just so happy," Ji Woong says, his voice thick with emotion, and Hao can’t help but chuckle at the sight of Ji Woong trying to regain his composure.  

  "Yikes," Hao murmurs, still laughing.  

  "Give me your hand," Ji Woong requests, his tone suddenly serious. Hao blinks, confused, wondering what Ji Woong means.  

Instead of answering, Ji Woong sighs and gently grazes Hao’s hand, pulling out a red jewel box from the pocket of his jacket. Hao’s heart skips a beat as he realizes what’s happening—Ji Woong... has a ring?  

Hao watches in stunned silence as Ji Woong opens the box, revealing a ring that takes his breath away. It’s a three-carat diamond ring, with a bloom-shaped diamond, and tiny engraved flower patterns that seem to shimmer with a life of their own. The band is real gold, its warmth catching the light in the most captivating way.  

  "I bought it in France," Ji Woong explains, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I took that stinky train to Paris just to go to the jeweler I had in mind." He smiles softly, sliding the ring over Hao's ring finger, his touch gentle yet deliberate.  

Hao stares at the ring, still trying to process the enormity of it all. His voice comes out in a stunned huff, "How much did that fucking cost you?"  

Ji Woong’s grin widens, his voice a little more playful. "Everything I earned from that movie."  

Hao’s breath catches in his throat, realizing just how much Ji Woong sacrificed, how much effort he’d poured into something that would ultimately be for him. "Shut up," Hao mutters, his cheeks flushed with a mix of surprise and gratitude. He’s always been the one to push Ji Woong, to tease him, but now he’s struck silent by the depth of Ji Woong’s love.   

The realization hits him hard—the man he’s been so afraid to love has given him everything, despite the struggles and the fights.  

  "Do you like it?" Ji Woong asks, his tone filled with nervousness that Hao can’t ignore, despite the bravado in his actions.  

  "Of course I like it," Hao says, his voice choked with emotion. He wipes at his eyes, still trying to keep it together. "Ji Woong, can you stop being the loveliest person on earth? I don't even know how I can ever compensate for how great you are to me."  

Ji Woong smiles softly, a quiet hum in his chest. "Hao," he whispers, pulling Hao closer, their foreheads touching as they both close their eyes. "You know that your love is enough for me."  

Their noses nudge against each other as they stand there in the embrace of the night, the ring shining on Hao’s finger, a symbol of a promise that neither of them will break.  

Loving Ji Woong was one of the best decisions Hao has ever made.  

 

*  

 

Ji Woong trails soft, lingering kisses along Hao’s fingers, moving slowly down his arm, pressing warmth into every inch of skin. Hao’s missed this—he’s craved Ji Woong’s touch like a lifeline, even though it’s only been a few months. But when Ji Woong is away, time feels slower, stretched unbearably thin.  

 "You might need to take it off," Ji Woong murmurs with a mischievous grin, his lips brushing over the ring on Hao’s finger. "Or it’ll get dirty."  

Hao lets out a soft laugh, feeling his pulse race as Ji Woong kisses around the promise—no, the proposal ring that sparkles subtly against his skin. They’d left the group back at the bar without a word. Everyone was too tipsy to notice, and they’d see each other again tomorrow anyway. Tonight, Ji Woong and Hao just needed this time alone, a chance to catch up in the only way that really mattered.  

In the soft glow of their shared apartment, Hao finds himself sprawled on the couch, Ji Woong leaning over him, their bodies pressed close. It feels freeing, being here like this, feeling all those emotions and desires they’d kept under wraps for months. Ji Woong’s hands roam across Hao’s chest, his touch delicate yet possessive, like he’s making up for every missed moment, every day apart.  

 "I missed you so much, Hao." Ji Woong groans against his skin.  

It takes nothing for him to make Hao moan in delight. "Mmm... I missed you too." Hao whispers, arching his back as Ji Woong finally slips inside him. "Ah..." he gasps out, fingernails sinking into Ji Woong's back.  

The way that firm flesh slides perfectly within himself makes something warm and fuzzy spread through his body. They fit together so well.  

With the ease and familiarity from years of practice, Ji Woong picks up speed, thrusting in and out of Hao slowly. To match the rhythm, Hao cups one of Ji Woong's thighs, pulling and pushing him further in.  

After not even a few minutes, both their backs straighten out. Ji Woong bucks hard, sending the final wave crashing against Hao's shores.   

  "Ahh.."  

Ji Woong grinds and thrashes, slightly unexpectedly and quickly. Hao lets out his own small gasp as he feels Ji Woong's cum splash onto his stomach when he pulls out.  

Their breaths even out after a minute of loud panting.  

 "I'm a mess." Ji Woong laughs, rolling off of Hao.  

  "We've gotten old. How long did you even last?" Hao teases, still catching his breath slightly.  

  "Cut me some slack, I haven't had sex with you in a while. I'll last longer next time."  

Hao gazes at him with his tired, bloodshot eyes, licking his lips mischievously. "Who said there will be a next time? Maybe I'll decide to become celibate."  

  "You like sex too much to do any of that."  

Ji Woong stands up, grabbing a nearby towel and wiping himself clean. Hao then pulls him onto the sofa again, into a tight embrace, clearly too tired to walk towards the bed and wanting to have Ji Woong in close proximity to him.  

 "I’m tired," Hao murmurs, his voice a soft, drowsy hum as he buries his face in the nape of Ji Woong’s neck. "Let’s sleep."  

 "Not on the couch," Ji Woong replies gently, though just as exhausted. With a bit of effort, he stands, stooping down to scoop Hao up by his shoulders and thighs, cradling him with ease.  

No matter how tall Hao was, Ji Woong always managed to lift him as if he were weightless. Ji Woong’s hold is steady as he navigates their way to the bedroom, relying more on memory than sight in the dim light. Once he reaches the bed, he lowers Hao onto the mattress, then drops down beside him, pulling the covers over them both and wrapping an arm around Hao’s waist.  

Hao settles into the warmth of Ji Woong’s embrace, his head resting on Ji Woong’s chest, listening to the quiet rhythm of his heartbeat. Ji Woong holds him close, his breathing slow and steady, and Hao feels a sense of peace that only seems to come when they’re together like this.  

“Sleep well,” Ji Woong murmurs, his hand gently stroking Hao’s back.  

Hao only hums in response, already drifting, feeling safe and grounded in the circle of Ji Woong’s arms.  

 

*  

 

 "Hao, Hao..." Ji Woong shakes Hao's body gently, like a loose leaf caught in a breeze, trying to rouse him. "How do you want your eggs, baby?"  

Hao groans, pulling the sheets over his head with an exhausted sigh, his voice muffled and thick with sleep. "Don't care... sleep first," he mutters, burying himself deeper into his cozy cocoon of blankets.  

Ji Woong chuckles, nudging the bundled form beneath the covers. "Come on, it's time to wake up." He tugs playfully at the edge of the sheet, but Hao resists, clutching it tighter.  

 "Don’t wanna..." Hao grumbles, his morning voice a deep, husky protest. His whole body melts further into the mattress, determined to stay wrapped in the warmth.  

Ji Woong smiles, unable to resist the sight of Hao so relaxed and stubborn. “Fine, but I’m making your eggs extra fluffy,” he says, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the blanket-covered shape of Hao’s head.  

Hao drags himself out of bed, taking a quick shower and throwing on something comfortable before heading to the kitchen. As he enters, he sees Ji Woong bustling around, focused on preparing breakfast. The scene brings a rush of nostalgia—the quiet, easy mornings they used to share when they lived together. Their little place, where they’d come home each evening, was filled with simple routines and peaceful breakfasts.  

But now, with Ji Woong set to return to Germany soon for another three-month stint, the thought of separation feels heavy in Hao’s chest. He pushes it aside, settling down at the table. Steamy sausages and a fresh tossed salad fill his plate, and just as he picks up his fork, his phone rings in his pocket.  

 "Hello?" Hao says, surprised.  

 "Hi, son," comes the familiar voice on the other end.  

Hao immediately sits up a little straighter. "Hi, Mom—I'm... why are you requesting a facecall? It’s so early, and I look like a mess," he mutters, noticing the facetime invitation flashing on his screen.  

 “Oh, come on,” she groans, clearly a little offended by his hesitation. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”  

Hao rolls his eyes, thankful she can’t see it. He sighs, resigning himself, and hits “accept.” Her face fills the screen, looking effortlessly put together, even at ten in the morning.  

 "Hi, Mom," he says, trying to adjust his hair a bit self-consciously.  

 “There he is,” she beams, giving him a once-over. “And you look fine, don’t be dramatic.”  

He chuckles, glancing up to see Ji Woong, who’s watching him with an amused smile, clearly eavesdropping. Hao waves him off, mouthing stop staring, though he can’t help but feel a warmth settle over him.  

 "So, how are things?" she asks, her voice carrying that familiar warmth, but also the subtle push for more than surface-level updates.  

Hao smiles, feeling a slight tug in his heart. "Things are good, Mom."  

 "Are you still living with your friend?"  

Hao glances over at Ji Woong, who arches an eyebrow, a small, knowing smirk playing on his lips. "Yeah, Ji Woong's still around," Hao replies, resisting the urge to sigh. "He came back from Germany yesterday."  

His mother nods, as if processing this carefully. “I see.”  

It’s been challenging, rekindling their relationship. After three years of silence, his parents had reached out just when Ji Woong was away for military service, and the timing couldn’t have been more ironic. Hao had been lonely and vulnerable, missing Ji Woong and feeling the emptiness of their strained family bonds. He’d accepted his parents’ attempts to reconnect, despite the bitterness that lingered and the things they’d left unspoken.  

His mother knows about him and Ji Woong. She knew Hao was gay, she knew Ji Woong was too, and on some level, she must know that their “friendship” was more than platonic. But she’s never acknowledged it, sidestepping the reality of their relationship, treating Ji Woong’s presence as something purely circumstantial. It’s as though she’s erased the memory of Hao coming out, choosing instead to believe in the facade of a close friendship rather than the truth of their love.  

And yet, despite the frustration, the sadness, and the wish that things could be different, Hao couldn’t quite close the door on them. He’d missed them, and he still harbored the hope that, with time, they’d accept him fully. Not just parts of him, but all of him—including his love for Ji Woong.  

For now, though, he walks a fine line. But he’s not holding back, not hiding. He’ll let his hints be clear, and if his mother wants to continue pretending, then that’s her choice.  

 "Look what he’s bought me," Hao says, holding up his ring finger to the camera, the small, understated ring catching the light. He can feel Ji Woong’s gaze on him, a flicker of pride in his eyes as he glances over. Hao lets himself savor the moment, shamelessly bold, letting his mother see just enough to fill in the blanks.  

For a brief moment, his mother’s expression shifts, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly as she takes in the ring. There’s a pause, an almost imperceptible hesitation, before she manages a small, tentative smile. “It looks like an expensive one.” she says, her voice careful.  

 “It was. He saved it all up just for me, mom.” Hao replies, his tone carrying a hint of something soft. "He's very good to me."  

She doesn’t respond right away, and Hao feels the tension simmer between them, a silent battle of understanding and unspoken truths. But he holds her gaze steadily through the screen, refusing to let his own smile waver.  

He’s done hiding, done pretending.  

 “Is he there with you right now?”  

Hao gulps. “Yes, he's in the kitchen making breakfast right now.”  

His mother nods, continuously, as if she's on the verge of saying something, but hesitating and therefore refusing to stop her repetitive nodding to delay her question.  

 “Can you give him to me?”  

Hao’s heart skips a beat, his breath catching in his throat at his mother’s unexpected request.   

  "Can you give him to me?" she repeats, her voice gentler than he’s heard in years.  

For a moment, Hao is frozen, a thousand questions and emotions swirling in his mind. He glances over at Ji Woong, who’s just finished plating their breakfast, catching his gaze with a small, curious smile.  

Ji Woong raises an eyebrow, sensing Hao’s surprise.  

Hao swallows, feeling a strange mix of nerves and relief. He gestures for Ji Woong to come over, handing him the phone with a slight, reassuring squeeze of his hand. “My mom wants to talk to you,” he murmurs softly, a flicker of encouragement in his eyes.  

Ji Woong takes the phone, his expression shifting to one of gentle respect as he faces the screen. “Hello, auntie.” he says, his voice steady but polite, warm without being too familiar.  

There’s a pause on her end as she seems to gather herself, studying him through the screen. “Hello, Ji Woong,” she replies, her voice a little unsteady, as if weighing each word. “I just… I wanted to thank you. For taking care of my son.”  

Ji Woong’s smile reaches his eyes. “Of course. I'll always do it, auntie, no matter what.”  

A faint, reluctant smile touches her lips, and she nods, glancing briefly away before refocusing on Hao, who's still there in the background, feeling his throat tighten, a surge of emotion rising in his chest.  

It’s not everything he’s wanted, but it’s something—an acknowledgment, a tentative acceptance he’d given up hoping for.  

 “Take care, okay?”  

 “We will, Mom,” Hao says softly, leaning close to the screen as Ji Woong passes him back the phone. “Thank you.”  

 

*  

 

The mansion looms grandly at the end of a winding driveway, bathed in the soft glow of garden lights. Gyu Vin’s house is almost surreal, a blend of sleek modern architecture and traditional Korean touches, like something out of a luxury magazine. The façade of glass and polished stone glints in the evening light, giving a full view of the warm, open interior that stretches beyond.  

Hao shakes his head in mild disbelief. He’d known Gyu Vin’s family was wealthy, though Gyu Vin always liked to downplay it, pretending he was just like any of them. But this? This place is a different level of luxury. It’s almost laughable; Hao and Ji Woong’s apartment could fit into just one wing of this house. Then again, he and Ji Woong had chosen a simpler, more modest place—a choice born out of preference rather than necessity.  

He can’t help but chuckle to himself as he reaches for the doorbell, hearing it chime a classical Chopin mazurka that borders on ridiculous. Just as he exchanges an amused look with Ji Woong, the door swings open to reveal Gyu Vin and his girlfriend.  

 “You’re both late! Everyone’s already inside,” Gyu Vin grins, pulling them into a quick hug. He gestures to the woman beside him. “This is my girlfriend, Gyu Ri.”  

Hao raises an eyebrow, surprised but charmed. Gyu Vin with a girlfriend was something he hadn’t expected.  

 “Even your names match,” Hao says, snarky. He exchanges a knowing look with Ji Woong, who thinks the exact same thing that's on Hao's mind.  

Inside, Gyu Vin leads them through the grand entryway, guiding them toward the dining area. The house is a marvel, every wall decorated with tasteful, contemporary art that complements the neutral yet sophisticated color palette. The space feels both extravagant and surprisingly warm.  

The dining area itself is enormous, the table set with elegant plates and crystal glasses, each place setting more refined than the last. In one corner of the room, a private bar gleams with a marble counter and an impressive arrangement of high-end drinks, every glass and bottle meticulously arranged.  

Hao lets out a low chuckle. “Pretty ironic, considering Gyu Vin doesn’t even drink,” he mutters to Ji Woong, who stifles a laugh beside him.  

He feels like one of those gossipy, backstabbing aunties, throwing digs every way he can to compensate for the fact they'd been late.  

Things in the house feel oddly excessive. And though the setting is formal, Hao can already tell the party itself is bound to be anything but. After all, they’re here for a celebration, and Gyu Vin’s insistence on dressing up wasn’t just for show.  

In fact, Gyu Vin had practically made it a mandate last night that everyone dress up for the occasion, threatening to kick them out otherwise. Hao had taken this as a personal challenge, refusing to show up in anything less than spectacular. He smirks, remembering how the process of getting dressed was quickly derailed by Ji Woong’s insistence on taking the suit off almost as soon as he’d put it on. After weeks apart, the two of them had gone at each other like teenagers, pent-up energy spilling over in unexpected ways.  

Still feeling a bit flustered from their earlier... delay, Hao straightens his jacket, hoping his slightly disheveled state goes unnoticed. But the moment he steps into the main living area and spots the boys, he realizes his worries are unfounded. They’re already a few drinks in, visibly tipsy, and any formalities they’d started with have clearly fallen by the wayside.  

 “Finally!” Tae Rae calls out, lifting his glass with a mock look of disapproval. “We thought you two got lost in this mansion somewhere.”  

 “Or just decided to skip,” Gun Wook adds with a smirk, eyeing Hao’s and Ji Woong’s faintly flustered expressions with a knowing glint.  

Hao laughs, raising his own glass as he joins the group. “Well, I had to dress the fuck up, otherwise my homosexual card would've been revoked.”  

Gyu Vin rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “You’re lucky you look good, or I’d have locked the door on you.”  

 “Sure, you would have,” Hao replies, rolling his eyes as he takes in the extravagant surroundings.  

Beside him, Ji Woong scans the room, blinking as he searches for two specific, important attendees. “Where are our lovebirds?” he asks.  

 “Probably making love,” Ricky sighs, swirling his wine glass dramatically. “You two missed the early shots. They’re both so drunk already.”  

Tae Rae, looking thoroughly unimpressed, gives Ricky a shove. “Not all gay people are always just having sex, Ricky.”  

Ricky wobbles a bit, bracing himself against the high table they’re standing at with a laugh, while Hao smirks to himself. Normally, he’d have a quick comeback for a comment like that, but tonight? Tonight, he has no room to be hypocritical.  

As the night goes on, Hao and Ji Woong catch up on the drinks they missed, easily sliding back into the rhythm of the group. Yu Jin and Gun Wook are in their own world, downing shots like water. Yu Jin, predictably, ends up in a corner, bawling his eyes out to Hao and Ji Woong about his impending military enlistment and the injustice of having to give up video games for over a year. They both comfort him as best as they can, though Hao can’t help but chuckle at how little has changed—Yu Jin, still the youngest, still sweet, still clinging to the old hags for guidance.  

Meanwhile, Tae Rae, predictably bitter and still nursing the wounds from his breakup, ends up drunkenly teasing Ricky, practically begging him to date him. Ricky, to everyone’s amusement, declines so firmly that even Hao feels a pang of sympathy for Tae Rae.  

After an hour or so, Han Bin and Matthew stumble back into the room, disheveled and giggling, and Ricky wasn’t wrong—they look thoroughly drunk and like they’d spent the last hour doing things no holy text would condone. Gyu Vin notices right away, his face scrunching in mock annoyance.  

 “Seriously, you two?” he huffs, waving a hand as if to shoo them back outside. “I host one classy party and you have to go and ruin it?”  

They’re a mess, a hilariously dysfunctional family, and Hao can’t help but feel a sense of warmth. It’s exactly this brand of chaos that he’s missed—a refreshing contrast to the well-behaved, polished world he spends his days in now.  

Hao raises his glass, glaring playfully at Han Bin and Matthew. “I fucking hate you two, you know that?” he declares, downing the rest of his drink. “How does it feel to live my dream?”  

Matthew beams, slinging an arm around Han Bin’s shoulders, clearly drunk and overly affectionate. “Amazing,” he drawls, raising his own glass with a grin. “Thank you, Canada. Thank you, Mom, Dad.”  

 “Shut up.”  

  “Alright, alright, who’s got the next round?” Gyu Vin calls out, clapping his hands together with an almost maniacal grin. Despite his insistence on hosting a “classy” party, he seems to have thrown that idea out the window, now fully invested in making sure no one’s glass stays empty for long.  

 “Are you actually drinking, Gyu Vin?” Gun Wook asks, raising an eyebrow as Gyu Vin pours shots for everyone with a smug look.  

 “Just because it's a special day.” Gyu Vin replies, raising a glass in defiance. “I thought I’d honor you all with my participation.”  

 “Oh, this I gotta see,” Ji Woong chuckles, holding out his glass as Gyu Vin goes around, filling each one to the brim. Hao and the others follow suit, gathering in a circle around the table, each of them holding a shot.  

 “To our marriage.” Matthew says, lifting his glass with a grin, his arm still slung around Han Bin’s shoulders.  

 “Again?” Ricky grimaces.  

 “To us!” Yu Jin says, ignoring Ricky's comment, his voice slightly wobbly, still recovering from his earlier emotional outburst but now grinning widely.  

They down their shots in unison, and for a moment, there’s silence as each of them feels the warmth spreading through their chests.  

As the music changes, an upbeat tune with a pulsing bass, Gyu Vin hops up and extends a hand to Yu Jin. “C’mon, let’s show these old-timers how it’s done.”  

Yu Jin laughs, grabbing Gyu Vin’s hand and pulling him toward the open space in the living room. The others cheer as the two begin to dance, moving with exaggerated enthusiasm. It doesn’t take long before the rest of them are pulled into the chaos, some joining the dance, others cheering and clapping from the sidelines.  

Hao finds himself pulled into the mix by Ji Woong, who spins him around, grinning like a fool. Hao laughs, his cheeks warm from both the alcohol and the joy of the moment. It feels good to let go, to forget about everything beyond this room—the distance, the long stretches apart, the uncertainty of when they’ll all be together like this again.  

Han Bin and Matthew stumble onto the dance floor, both of them swaying and laughing as they attempt to dance without tripping over each other. Tae Rae starts belting out the lyrics to the song, a perfect rendition, yet Ji Woong decides to ruin it with adding some pitchy harmonies, making Ricky groan and shove him playfully. Gun Wook, meanwhile, is filming the chaos on his phone, his laughter barely contained as he tries to capture every ridiculous dance move.  

You wouldn't think all of them had been idols before.  

Hao catches Ji Woong’s eye across the room, and they share a knowing smile—a moment of understanding amidst the noise.  

If they could turn back time, they'd do it all over again. Partaking in Boys Planet, making it in this group, even all the decisions they made along the way. Surely, they'd have ups and downs, but in the grand scheme of things, the universe had found its way.  

Hao's happy.  

And it's all because of them.  

 

*  

 

Ji Woong's trolley rides over the smooth and shimmering paved floor of Incheon Airport. They're nearing security, and Hao tries to ignore the lump in his throat that's making it hard for him to breathe. This week went by so rapidly, the days blurring together in a rush of plans and moments, each one vanishing almost as soon as it arrived. It felt like time slipped through Hao’s fingers, as if he'd not treasured their time together enough.  

Now, Ji Woong is set to go back to Germany for another long, exhausting four months.  

They are standing in front of security, knowing they'll have to part their ways there. They could just say goodbye and separate, but Hao can't find the words.  

Ji Woong stands there, watching him quietly, his own expression soft but steady. He isn’t rushing, giving Hao the time he needs, as if he knows exactly what he’s feeling. Ji Woong always knows, always sees straight through the Hao, piercing through him, puncturing his little balloon with the right stare and the right words.  

Finally, Ji Woong steps closer, resting a gentle hand on Hao’s shoulder. "I’ll be back before you know it," he murmurs, his voice soft but reassuring.  

Hao bites his lip, trying to hold back the wave of emotion rising in his chest. “It’s just... it’s never easy, you know?” he whispers, his voice barely audible.  

Ji Woong’s hand slides from his shoulder to the side of his face, his thumb brushing softly along Hao’s cheek. "I know," he replies, his gaze unwavering. "But this isn’t goodbye, Hao. Just a pause.”  

Hao swallows, nodding as he leans into the touch. “Promise me you’ll call. Every night.”  

 “Every night,” Ji Woong says, his voice a quiet vow. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to Hao’s forehead. Even though Ji Woong's as strong as ever, he can feel his lips shake against his skin.  

Hao closes his eyes, letting the moment sink in, committing every detail to memory. Every part of him wants Ji Woong to stay.  

But he knows, he can't.  

He can't stay.  

The gears in Hao's brain turn, and suddenly, he realizes .  

As Ji Woong pulls back, Hao watches him with a new spark in his eyes, the idea forming quickly, growing from a tiny thought into something undeniable. Ji Woong has to leave—there’s no changing that.  

But Hao ? Hao doesn’t have to stay.  

Ji Woong tilts his head, noticing the shift in Hao’s expression. "What is it?" he asks, a faint smile tugging at his lips.  

Hao’s heart pounds, a sense of excitement bubbling up in him. “I just realized... I could come with you. Maybe not for four months, but for a while. A little... vacation to write,” he says, the words tumbling out faster than he can process them.  

Ji Woong’s eyes widen slightly, then soften with a look of surprise and joy. "Are you serious?”  

Hao nods, the decision already solidifying in his mind. “I work for myself, mostly. It wouldn’t be hard to arrange a few things so I could go. And I could write anywhere, right? Why not in Germany?”  

Ji Woong lets out a quiet laugh, relief and delight mixing in his expression. “But how about your stuff?”  

 “I'll take care of it.”  

 “Are you sure?”  

Hao sighs expansively. “Yes! Of course I am sure!  I can't leave you right now. Not when I feel like this. And I don't care if it's rash. Every time I think I make a rash decision; it turns out to be the right one in the end. I'm listening to my own feelings, Ji Woong.”  

Ji Woong's face brightens up like the sun, his eyes turning into crescent moons, cheeks flushing red. “Hao, I love you so much!” He pulls him in an enthusiastic hug, lifting him off the ground and spinning him around, giggling and smiling like a high schooler, his mere excitement close to making Hao cry.  

Hao laughs instead, feeling the warmth of Ji Woong’s arms around him, grounding him in a way he hadn’t realized he needed. Being lifted off the ground, twirled around in the middle of the bustling airport, he’s suddenly weightless, carefree.  

As Ji Woong finally sets him down, his face is flushed, eyes sparkling. “I can’t believe this is happening,” Ji Woong murmurs, still holding onto him tightly, as if afraid he’ll disappear.  

 “Believe it.” Hao replies, his voice a mix of excitement and reassurance. He cups Ji Woong’s face, looking at him intently.  

Ji Woong’s eyes fill with emotion, his voice thick with affection. “You have no idea how much this means to me,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against Hao’s. “To have you with me, even just for a while… It’s more than I could’ve hoped for.”  

Hao smiles, a sense of calm settling over him. “Stop crying. Get me a ticket, and let’s go.”  

They stand there, wrapped in each other’s arms, surrounded by the hurried pace of the airport but blissfully undisturbed by it.  

They’ve already made their choice, and the world around them is only a blur.  

And it might make Hao selfish, to choose his own feelings and leave his things behind in South Korea, for a while at least, but honestly; there's nothing wrong with being selfish from time to time.  

If he'd never been selfish, his life would've looked way different. Way more somber.  

But instead, life's okay. Surely, it's not perfect, Hao might never have the perfect ending he'd see in movies, but there's also something grounding about that; he could constantly strive for new heights, for a new journey to begin.  

And so, a chapter closes, but it's not an epilogue. A new chapter begins, and in the grand scheme of things, maybe all of this was just a prologue to the story. To their story.  

Notes:

After merely 1,5 years, it's FINISHED! Thank you so much for all the kudo's, lovely comments, bookmarks, just general hype I've seen on other platforms as well because I've been reading everything you guys have put out and this story was surely a rollercoaster right I never thought would end up being THIS lengthy. Like, even when I wrote fics in other fandoms, I've never reached beyond 70K honestly... and look at this massive thing OMG

I hope all of you enjoyed the ride, even though it wasn't pretty all the time and I put some of the characters to shit. The ending I wanted it to be just hopeful, not perfect to serve as an opening to what's coming next, but definitely give a good closure to both couples stories.

Thank you for staying with me. I know some have been reading and commenting since I started this back in the early days of 2023. ZEROBASEONE didn't even debut yet. Hao and Ji Woong didn't know each other yet. And look where they're at now. It's insane to realize how my story has grown next to them in real life and it's interesting to see the differences and parallels and how some of the events and things I merely predicted, other things having completely different outcomes.

Anyhow. Thank you so much for your patience and support. And I won't be gone. I am still writing on other stories and also planning on some new stories as well, also Woonghao and Mattbin related. So while this story might be over, I will make sure to continue spreading propaganda on this site, hihi! <33

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