Work Text:
Family
By Ellen C. Lindow
The soccer match was tied and the game was nearly over. The crowd gathered around the small field under one of Alpha's biodomes was as enthusiastic as that of a World Cup match. Alan Carter stood on the sidelines shouting encouragement to the team he coached. He could pick out certain voices behind him. John and Helena Koenig were there, and Bill and Annette Fraser were also shouting their support.
The opposing teams returned the ball, bringing it strongly down the field. Alan caught Bella's eye and gave her a signal. Without wasting the energy to acknowledge, his tiny blonde niece with pony tail bouncing made an agile flip and landed in front of the ball. The forward for the other team never saw her coming. Bella stopped the ball efficiently and redirected it to her waiting cousin. Five-year-old Preston was ready. He had watched the ball with great intensity and was headed downfield, trusting Bella to send it to the right spot. Tiny Bella dodged the enemy and the rest of the team headed downfield behind them. There was a bit of general confusion -- to be expected in the 4-6 year old division, and Preston took advantage of the goalie's inattention and gave a fierce kick. The ball sailed into the net and the buzzer sounded.
The crowd roared and Bella practically tackled Preston as they celebrated the victory. Proud parents and grandparents poured onto the field to congratulate or console their little ones. Alan made his way to the coach of the other team who was calming the sobbing goalie.
"Josh," Alan stuck out his hand with a grin.
Josh Devers lifted his daughter into his arms and took Alan's hand. "Great game, Alan. That move Bella made was terrific."
Alan nodded. "And you, Miss Hillary, are a terrific goalie. We had a horrible time scoring on you."
Five year old Hillary Devers sniffed. She was only a few months younger than Bella and Preston, and she and Bella were as inseparable as Emma and Dinah had been at that age. "Really?"
"One of the best I've ever seen." Alan replied seriously.
Hillary gave a trembly, hesitant smile. Josh put her down and she ran smiling towards her own proud grandparents. "Thanks, Alan." Josh said with relief as he watched his daughter scamper away.
Alex walked up beside them "It was the truth." He said, having heard the last of the exchange. "We taught Pres and Bella a couple of tricks Alan didn't let us try until we were ten." He clasped his friend's hand and changed the subject. "Well, now that soccer season is over, I'm ready for vacation."
"Did you get everything arranged?" Alan asked hopefully.
Alex nodded. "Three weeks from today we leave for Rainbow Valley. Dinah's parents are coming, as well as Josh's parents and Mom and Dad. That gives us plenty of babysitters so we each can manage some time alone with our wives."
Alan grinned and clapped Alex on the shoulder, "Brilliant, mate. Isn't he Josh?"
"He has his moments," Josh felt it his duty to keep his best friend humble. "Are Richard and Suzi coming too?"
"Yes, and Dinah's happy because we'll have the highest concentration of medical professionals on the planet."
"Hilly too," Josh agreed. "Now that we have a head-count Hilly and I will get the supplies ready." Josh worked in supply and Hilly was the base's chief dietician now. "Hilly's really looking forward to a break."
"I thought she was happier now that Kate retired and has been spending more time on Loki." Alan said.
Josh shrugged. "That helped some, but Hilly is such a perfectionist, she doesn't need Dr. Goldburg looking over her shoulder to feel she's not doing a good job. She doesn't say much, but I don't think she really likes being in charge of a whole department."
Helena appeared at Alan's elbow. "Good game," she said to the coaches.
Alex leaned down and kissed his mother's cheek. "It was a close one."
"We were all at the edge of our seats."
"I heard you shouting back there." Alan said. "I didn't think you cared for soccer."
"I do when my grandchildren are playing," she responded cheerily.
"Where's Pres?" Alan looked around, the crowd on the field was thinning.
"John and Bill took Preston and Bella for ice cream. Hillary was with them too."
Josh nodded. "Thanks Helena. We'll get the equipment picked up and catch up with them." He and Alex moved off.
"Emma wanted to see us after the game." Helena said to Alan as they left the field. "John will take Preston to our place to spend the night."
"Thanks, Helena. Did Em tell you what she wanted?" Alan asked. He knew Preston would be perfectly happy. He loved spending the night with his grandparents, and his cousins usually joined him, giving the place a slumber party atmosphere. Alex's daughter Bella was just Preston's age. Both had turned five last month. Derrick Paul-- called Deep by the family-- was three, and certain he could do everything Preston and Bella could do.
"Emma didn't say. She just sent me an email that she wanted to speak to you and I. John got a message asking him to watch Preston. Do you know what it's about?"
Alan nodded. "I do, but I'd rather let her tell you."
They caught up with the game crowd waiting for a travel tube and both hung toward the back waiting for their turn. During the wait they chatted with others about the game and other trivial matters. They were back in the main section of Alpha before they ended up alone again. They walked a familiar route, Alan and Emma currently resided in the two-bedroom apartment that had been John's quarters at Breakaway.
Helena took Alan's arm as they walked through the quiet hallway. She asked cautiously, "Is everything all right between you two?"
Alan looked at her with surprise. "Oh no, Helena, it's nothing like that. Hey, I thought you were on our side."
Helena waved her hand in the air in front of her in a dismissive gesture. "I am, I am. I guess I'm just being a worried mother. Actually, of all my children, I think Emma's marriage is the happiest."
Alan smiled but declined to agree or disagree. "I think all the kids are under a lot of pressure. They've taken on a lot of responsibility. It's not easy for them."
"And Emma?"
Alan shrugged. "Ignores it better than most. She knows quite well that I've trained her as my replacement, but we don't speak of it. Josh was saying that Hilly is under a lot of stress right now."
Helena sighed. "Probably, but she and Kate have been at each others throats for so long I thought the change would do them both good."
"Hilly's awfully young..."
"They all are, Alan," Helena said distantly, feeling her age.
They had nearly reached Alan's apartment. Alan stopped and faced Helena. "I want you to know that the last six years have been the happiest of my life. I adore Emma and will do absolutely anything to ensure her happiness."
Helena looked into his eyes. Alan was an old and dear friend; one of her closest confidants. She knew he was seldom serious about anything. His short earnest speech set off maternal alarms again. Something was not right between Alan and Emma Carter.
Alan broke eye contact and used his commlock to open the door.
The apartment was neat and sparsely furnished, and much changed from the days when John had lived here. Preston's small bedroom was to the left as you entered. Across the wall that divided off Preston's room was a kitchen counter with a sink, small refrigerator, stovetop and cupboard. A small table with four molded plastic chairs was nearby. Two short steps led up to the windows which provided a wonderful view of the lunar landscape, landing pads 2 and 3, and the orchard biodome which sparkled like fine crystal. It was made from the miraculously hard carbonite glass manufactured at Potter's Mine on Loki. Alan and Emma had built a cushioned platform with several levels that acted as sofa and window-seat as well as a storage unit. At the highest level you could sit at the level of the windowsill and look out at the lunar landscape. It was Emma's favorite perch.
She was seated there now, tailor fashion, with her large design slate on her lap. Emma was wearing her usual at-home attire of silky boxer shorts and a tank top. Her curly black hair was pulled loosely into a braid down her back, but wisps of curls had escaped to frame her face and fall over her ears. She smiled sunnily at her mother and husband. "Oh, you're back already! How did the game go?"
"We won at the last second. Preston scored the winning goal and Bella assisted," Alan informed her proudly.
"Well, that's wonderful." Emma had heard all she wanted about the game. She was pleased her husband and son enjoyed the sport but had no interest in it herself. She leapt down from her perch with a catlike grace. "I just made some lemonade," she told her mother, as she gave Helena a quick kiss then wrapped her arms around her husband. "Would you like some? Or do you want a beer with Alan?" She knew her husband's tastes well.
Helena hesitated only a moment. "I'll take the beer," she said. She was glad someone had finally figured out how to make a decent bottle of beer.
Emma quickly headed to the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles, handing one to her husband and gesturing her mother to the couch as she handed her the second bottle. She retrieved her slate and shut it down, sliding it into its designated drawer under the upper platform. Alan settled on the couch by the raised platform and Emma retrieved her own mug of lemonade from the windowsill.
"What's up, Emma?" her mother asked. She was still concerned, but now felt the problem wasn't as urgent as she had feared.
Emma took a sip of lemonade and her countenance turned more serious. She set the cup down and folded her arms. It was one of her father's mannerisms and nearly made Helena smile. Emma was so much like her father. "Mama, I'm not pregnant," she stated seriously.
Helena was clever enough to hear the unspoken addendum: Dinah was pregnant. There was a bit of rivalry between the two girls despite their long-time friendship. Helena frowned. Emma had conceived Preston shortly after her marriage. They had all been so busy that Helena had never stopped to wonder why Emma hadn't had another baby in the last five years. Emma had never mentioned anything either, so Helena had assumed that Emma and Alan had decided not to have another child. From the statement her daughter had just made, and the grave looks on both faces, Helena quickly revised that assumption. More relaxed with these two than anyone else on Alpha, next to John, she couldn't resist a small joke. "I guess we can rule out technical difficulties," she offered dryly.
"Believe me, Helena," Alan replied with a smile. "It's not from lack of trying." He reached out to his wife who settled on the sofa beside him.
"You hadn't mentioned any problems before," Helena said.
"I haven't had any kind of problems," Emma said. "I'm just not pregnant."
Helena moved from "mother" mode to "doctor" mode with the ease of long practice, asking questions that most daughters and sons-in-law would resent, but Alan and Emma answered directly and easily. Helena could detect no obvious cause just by the questioning. "Ok, we'll need to run some tests. I'll get with Richard in the morning to have him schedule--"
"Mama--" Emma interrupted, seeming embarrassed for the first time during their conversation. "I'm not going to talk to Richie about this."
Helena smiled. She supposed that expecting Emma to discuss her sexual habits with her little brother was too much. Even though Helena now spent most of her time teaching, there would be no problem running a few tests for Emma and Alan. "All right, Emma. Meet me in Medical Center first thing in the morning. Alan, I'll want a sperm sample from you. It will narrow down the tests we'll need to run on Emma."
Alan nodded solemnly.
Helena pulled her commlock from her belt and called Medical Center to make arrangements. She then finished off her beer and gave the couple a few instructions to prepare for tomorrow. She remembered Maya's struggle to have Salvatore and her own final pregnancy. She reached out and took Emma's hand.
"Emma, I'll do everything I can, but if it turns out that there's nothing I can do--"
Emma squeezed her hand. "I just wanted to know why it hasn't happened. Mama, I remember what Aunt Maya went through, and I don't think I'm that brave." She leaned back against Alan who slipped his arms around her. "If Preston is to be our only child, that's fine with us."
Helena smiled at her daughter who was as sensible as always. Helena stood to leave and the door buzzed for attention. The commpost showed one of Helena's youngest trainees at the door. Helena opened the door and accepted the package. The girl smiled shyly and vanished quickly. Helena left the sterile specimen bottle on the table and bid the couple goodnight.
Emma leaned her head against Alan's shoulder. She knew Alan was concerned about her. "I just want to know," she told him.
"Helena'll figure it out."
Emma nodded.
The couple spent a restless night together. Neither slept well, each consumed by their own thoughts. Finally Alan rolled over and pulled Emma to him. He caressed her cheek and met her wide green eyes. "Em--" he began softly, hesitantly. "If there's something--" He stopped and started again. "If it's me. If there's something wrong with me. You could--" He stopped again, but she wasn't going to let him finish that thought. She pushed out of his arms and knelt on the bed beside him. Her quicksilver temper flaring.
"Don't say it-- don't even think it!"
"Honey, I just thought that if I'm the one that's keeping you from having another baby--"
Emma clapped her hands over her ears. "I'm not listening!" She gave him a lethal look. "You're thinking that just because I'm younger that I would leave you just to have another baby! Alan Carter, how could you!"
Somehow, any argument they ever had always turned to age. But she was young and beautiful and Alan sometimes felt horribly insecure, no matter how much he loved her. He sat up. "I'm sorry, Em."
"You were much more sympathetic when we thought it was my problem, not yours."
"No--"
"Suddenly, Mama mentions a sperm sample and you're ready to get rid of me!"
"Not that, never that." He kept his distance, understanding her moods well. He spoke softly. "Like you said, if Preston is to be our only one, that's fine. I don't want us to place any blame, and I certainly don't want this to hurt us-- come between us."
She burst into tears and he pulled her into his arms. He had always been the one to comfort her, even when she was little. "Alan, maybe we don't want to know."
"Yes, we need to know," he said softly. He smoothed back her curls and stroked her gently. "Then we'll face it together."
They gave up trying to get any sleep.
Helena sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the results of Emma's tests. The Carter's had obviously been anxious this morning and Helena had added a few more tests than she had first planned on. It had been a full morning for them. They finished shortly before noon. Helena had sent them away, suggesting they pick up Preston and spend the afternoon with him. She would meet with them just before dinner.
The door to the lab opened and Richard strode in. The tall redhead leaned down and kissed his mother, then crouched beside her. "Those Emma's tests?" Emma might not want to talk to him about this, and he respected that, but he was the Chief Medical Officer and kept tabs on everything that went on in Medical Center with great efficiency.
Helena nodded and clicked to the most significant screen. Richard sucked in his breath and took his mother's hand.
"I don't care what she said yesterday, Richard," his mother told him softly. "I want you to do the surgery. You're the best we have."
"This isn't about sex anymore, Mom. This is a medical condition. She'll be ok with it. We need to talk to them right away."
"They were going to take Preston swimming, I think."
"Let's find them and schedule a biopsy for this evening."
Alan and Emma had left Medical Center with a feeling of relief. The tests had been uncomfortable and unfamiliar and despite her mother's presence, it had been a stressful experience. They held hands as they made their way to Preston's classroom.
"So, you want to go swimming?" Alan asked her.
She shrugged. "It's a suggestion. I'd be happy to just go curl up at home with my guys." She leaned against Alan affectionately.
"Let's see if Preston has any ideas," Alan suggested. Emma nodded as they walked into the classroom. Preston was engrossed in something on his slate, tapping on it occasionally. Bella was seated next to him and noticed her aunt and uncle first. She reached over and nudged her cousin. When Preston looked up a delighted grin spread across his face. He slid out of his desk and rocketed across the room into his father's arms. Emma slipped off to speak softly to Preston's teacher then she joined her men as Alan lifted Preston off the floor and flew him out into the hallway.
"Where are we going?" the little boy asked excitedly.
"Where do you want to go?" Alan asked flippantly.
His mother responded more sensibly. "We took the afternoon off to spend with you."
"Really?" Preston asked. Evan at his age he was used to the routine of work and time off. He knew his parents should be working today.
"Really, mate." Alan knelt in front of his son to look him in the eye. "So what would you like to do this afternoon?"
"Could we fly an Eagle?" Preston asked hopefully.
Alan glanced up at his wife to see an identical hopeful face. Preston had Alan's coloring and blue eyes, but Emma's features and expressions. He pulled the mini-slate from his belt and pushed a familiar code. Bill Fraser's face appeared on the tiny screen. "Bill, I need to fly an Eagle this afternoon."
Bill considered for a moment. "I have a small shipment of supplies for the Farside observatory. How would that be?"
"Sounds perfect."
"We'll be ready for liftoff in an hour."
"We'll be there."
"Your usual co-pilot?" Bill asked with amusement.
"The best and the prettiest." Alan gave his wife a wink.
"Pad four. Have a good flight."
"Wow!" Preston said practically lifting off on his own with sheer excitement. He took his parents' outstretched hand and bounced along between them. About every third step they would lift as he bounced and he would swing through the air between them, all three laughing as they went.
No Eagle flight was uneventful through the eyes of a child but Alan and Emma took turns flying and hot-dogging. On the way back Alan took the Eagle high and let Preston sit in his lap and steer, knowing that Emma had a watchful eye on the controls and a hand on the override switch. He and John had done the same with Emma when she was Preston's age.
For a short while they killed their forward velocity and switched off the gravity compensators, giving Preston his first taste of free-fall. He took to it like a fish to water, giggling as he tumbled through the air between his parents. It was a wonderful afternoon.
They were still laughing when they exited the travel tube after the flight. Alan and Emma swung Preston between them then stopped as they saw the welcoming committee.
"Grampa! We went flying!" Preston flew into his grandfather's arms chattering about piloting and free-fall and barrel rolls.
John lifted his grandson with a smile. "We're going to go have dinner with Aunt Dinah and you can tell us all about it."
"Okay," Preston said happily. He barely paused as John winked at Alan and Emma and carried the little boy down the hallway. Preston regaled his captive audience with all that happened that afternoon.
Helena waited quietly for the two to move out of earshot.
"What's wrong, Mama?" Emma asked, reading her mother's solemn demeanor and inferring from the speed with which her father had distracted Preston that there was a problem.
"Let's go to Medical Center and talk. I wanted to catch you before you ate dinner."
"And you didn't want Preston to hear," Alan deduced correctly, lacing his fingers with Emma's.
Helena nodded and they walked quickly back to Medical Center and the CMO's office.
Richard's presence did not exactly reassure Emma, but it was Helena who explained the problem as soon as all were seated.
"Emma, we've found a mass inside your uterus."
"A tumor?" Alan asked, trying to keep the alarm from his voice. Emma gripped his hand tighter.
"We can't tell yet. It's very small, and more dense than we would expect a tumor to be," Helena said gently, knowing the specter of cancer hung heavily on all the Alphans.
Richard leaned forward. "We want to remove it immediately-- tonight. Then we'll be able to tell exactly what it is and if there are any further complications."
"Emma, I want Richard to do the surgery. He's the best one for the job."
Emma looked at her brother and then her mother. She bit her bottom lip. "Is this what's keeping me from getting pregnant?"
"Most likely," Her mother answered gently. "Whatever this is, it's acting like an IUD would and keeping the fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall. It may also be blocking one of the fallopian tubes."
Emma nodded thoughtfully. She turned to her brother. "What exactly would you do?"
Richard explained the procedure in great detail, including the local anesthetic, and the tests that would be performed afterwards. "Emma, it really doesn't look cancerous from the scans, but we want to find out right away," he concluded. "I have an operating room ready right now. Just say the word and we'll get started."
She glanced at Alan, noting the fear he was trying to hide. She nodded to her brother. "OK, let's get it over with." She looked at her mother and asked, "You'll stay with me?"
"Of course," Helena stood and took her hands. "I'll be right with you all the time." Helena put her hand on Alan's shoulder. "We'll take good care of her Alan."
Alan nodded. Emma leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, then let her mother lead her from the room.
"Alan," Richard said as he left. "It'll be a little more than two hours before we're finished. Dad and Preston are at Alex's having dinner. Why don't you join them?"
"Yeah," Alan said gruffly. "In a bit. Can I stay here for a while, Richard?"
"No problem, Alan. We'll take good care of her," Richard added gently and left to prepare for surgery.
The next two hours were the longest of Carter's life. John found Alan still sitting on the sofa an hour and a half later.
"Dinah sent you some supper." John set a tray on Richard's desk.
"I'm not exactly hungry," Alan said distantly.
"Which won't help Emma. Eat." John ordered firmly.
Alan sighed and moved to sit at the desk. He ate automatically while John watched over him. Dinah was the best cook in the family, but Alan barely tasted it. He finally pushed it forward and leaned his head against his hands, elbows on the desk. "John, if it's cancer--"
"Helena and Richard were both pretty certain that it wasn't." John said firmly, refusing to accept that possibility himself.
"But she couldn't know for sure. If it is cancer--"
The door opened as he spoke and Richard caught the last phrase and interrupted as he breezed into the room. "It's not cancer."
Alan started to stand, but Richard waved him back into his seat, then eyed his plate. "Is that Di's zucchini bread?"
Alan passed the plate to Richard who helped himself to the two slices of bread. Both John and Alan had to smile as Richard acted more like a starving teen than a doctor.
"You were saying--" his father prompted.
Richard remembered what he had been saying and sat across the desk from Alan, motioning for his father to sit too. "We're certain it's not cancer. In fact, it wasn't even a tumor. Emma is perfectly fine. Mom is settling her into bed, then she'll want to see both of you, I'm sure. I want her to stay the night because there may be some cramping and I've given her some powerful pain relievers, but she can go home in the morning."
"Well then, what was this 'mass' you detected, Richard?" Alan asked, his fears not yet alleviated. Richard became more solemn. "It was a small calcified fetus, Alan." Alan looked puzzled and Richard continued. "Shortly after she had Preston, she conceived again, the zygote attached to the uterine wall, but for some reason it did not continue to grow after the first month or so. Instead of being flushed from her body during her menstrual cycle it remained attached to the uterus and her body surrounded it with calcium-- it's a defense mechanism the body has to protect from foreign objects."
Hesitantly, Alan said, "It would have been-- another baby?"
Richard sighed. Helena had warned him that this would be the likely reaction. "More likely it would have been an early miscarriage. She might not have even noticed anything unusual, perhaps a delay in her flow, or a heavier flow that month.
Alan nodded, understanding, if not actually believing yet.
"Now that it's gone, Alan," Richard added gently. "She should have no problem conceiving. I know this gave us all a scare, but she's going to be just fine."
Relief washed over him as he savored Richard's last words.
The moon was much smaller on Loki than it had been on Earth, but Emma had no experience with that and loved the view from the ridge overlooking the campsite. Their vacation at Rainbow Valley had been idyllic. Preston loved camping and was thrilled to be allowed to share a tent with his cousins and friends. There was always someone to play with, and he hardly even noticed when his parents would slip away together.
This evening they were watching the moon rise, silver-white, brighter than the other stars, it was the place they called home. Below in the camp they could see the children playing hide and seek in the dark. John, Bill, Alex and Richard were playing cards at the table. Helena sat close by rocking Deep, who was already tired out from a long day of playing and almost asleep.
"Next year when we come there will be a new baby." Emma said softly, leaning back into Alan's arms.
'You sound very positive. Do you know something I don't?"
"Not really," she said dreamily. "But it'll happen."
Alan brushed her hair away from her neck and kissed her neck. "As long as you're ok." He leaned his head against her shoulder. "I was scared I'd lose you."
She caressed his cheek. "I won't ever leave you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
March 21, 1999
Ellen C. Lindow