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If Lucas had to stand here one more second he was going to lose it.
He kept his gaze fixed on the show script on his desk, ignoring the two men in front of him, their bickering nothing more than annoying background noise if anything. Surprisingly enough, their current argument had gone on for longer than usual, past their usual 15 minutes, now well into almost 45. Usually, Lucas would have been amused, entertained even, at their argument, as he always seemed to learn something about them from these petty fights.
Currently, however, he had not the slightest idea of what they were talking about.
Milt was widely gesturing with his arms towards something and about something as Val looked unimpressed and annoyed in his facial expression. It was kind of funny, actually, watching the way Val towered over the 5 '4'’ man and the other behaved like a rabid chihuahua. Suddenly, Milt whipped towards him and pointed at Val.
“Arnie! Tell this moronic man that he’s wrong!” demanded the shorter man
“I don’t even know-”
“His name is Lukela,” interrupted Val, “you can’t even get that right.”
“Oh, shut your ass up you illiterate.” Milt glared at Val
“Bold words from someone who cannot write anything vaguely entertaining.”
“Oh I can do much better than you. Not only on that but on many more things.”
Milt crossed in front of Lucas’ desk and tilted his head up so he was face to face with Val.
“So you say? Like what?” the Russian man leaned so their faces were inches from each other.
“Oh my god just kiss already!”
Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
The room was flooded with an awkward silence as the two abandoned their arguing to stare at Lucas, neither one of them moving from where they stood more than to turn their head towards him.
“What?” questioned the Polish man with an offended tone
He did not mean to say that out loud.
“I did not mean to say that out loud.”
Milt turned his body towards Lucas as he propped a hand on his hip and pointed with the other.
“But you said it,” he started,” you were thinking it.”
Was the room hotter now? Did someone turn up the thermostat?
“Uhh…”
He was saved from having to give some weird excuse by Val, the only rational and sane man in the room at the moment who surely had something reasonable to-
“Well, it’s not that strange. If I recall correctly, it’s happened before.”
Scratch that. What the fuck?
“What the fuck?” Thanks, Milt, for voicing everyone’s thoughts.
“Did you not hear me correctly, I said it has happened before.”
“No it hasn’t?? I’ve- We’ve- I- When- We’ve never kissed!”
“See, that’s interesting,” said Val, “because if I remember last Christmas correctly-”
Milt seemed to remember something, as he immediately turned bright red and pushed his hands against Val’s chest.
“We don’t need to talk about last Christmas!”
And, yeah, sure, call Lucas a “little shit,” but Milt had called him Arnie for months now, even though Lucas has corrected him on several occasions.
“What happened last Christmas?”
“Nothing!” responded Milt almost immediately. “Nothing happened last Christmas! What’s Christmas?”
“Well, you see, Lukela,” Val ignored Milt entirely as a mischievous smirk took over his face, “last Christmas was quite interesting. And relates a lot to your comment.”
“No it doesn’t! Val! Shut up! What are you even talking about?! It has nothing to do with this!”
Val turned to Milt and all of a sudden Lucas felt like he was interfering in a very intimate conversation.
“Really? Because I seem to recall that at around 10:34 pm you did something quite interesting.”
“Val, shut up!” Milt was hissed, bright red and tugging on the Russian’s shirt.
“You were bothering me quite badly, if I remember correctly, hitting my shoulder going ‘Val! Val! Val!’” said the man, mimicking what must’ve been Milt’s actions as the Russian poked the shorter man’s shoulder over and over. “So I turned to you to get you to stop.”
Milt was getting redder by the moment and looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him.
“And see, since you are…” Val motioned with his hand in a downward movement,” I leaned down towards you. And I remember perfectly how our faces were very close to each other.”
Val punctuated his words by leaning down towards Val once again and Lucas could tell that their breaths clashed against each other as Val spoke.
“And then you caught my face and pressed your lips against mine. For much, much, much longer than for it to be an accident. You seemed to enjoy it, actually. But wait! You said something before that, I remember.”
Milt buried his face in Val’s coat, ears bright red and posture shaky.
“You told me that I was– how did you put it? The most gorgeous man or woman you’d ever seen?” said Val, tone innocent betrayed by his smirk as he leaned even further down when Milt looked up, their noses now barely touching. “I must admit, Milt, I was quite flattered by this. Is that why you kissed me, Milt? Because I was ‘irresistibly attractive’ as you so put it afterwards?”
“I was drunk!” Milt hissed going back inside of Val’s coat, shaking his head and burying himself further.
“Is that so?” asked the Russian sarcastically, “That’s quite curious, as I do recall the flavor of your lips, and they seemed to lack any hint of alcohol.”
It was like you’d told Milt he was dying by the way his knees shook and he whimpered.
“In fact, your lips tasted overwhelmingly of peppermint, though I did perceive a hint of chocolate as well as some mocha. Quite a pleasant taste if you ask me. You seemed desperate to kiss me, too. Your mouth moved so fast, as if you wanted to bite my lips away. You were quite skilled, in my opinion. Though that is to be expected, I suppose. It does beg the question, however. What did you think of me, Milt?”
Val moved one of his hands to hold Milt’s wrist and brought the man’s fingers up to his lips.
“Was I anywhere as good as your ladies? Did I do good? You seemed rather perplexed so I could not have been awful. What did I taste like? Could you taste the vodka I’d drank earlier? What about the eggnog? Could your tongue taste it once it was out of my mouth? Do you wish you could taste me again?”
Val brought the hand that was not holding Milt’s over to the Polish man’s waist and pressed his thumb against the hipbone before he kissed the tip of Milt’s thumb as the shorter man stared up at him red in the face and hazy eyes.
Lucas was sure there was only one thought going through his mind at the moment. Am I… attracted to this?
In one swift movement, Val let go of Milt entirely and stepped towards Lucas’ desk, who pushed against his chair for a second as the large man took his coat from the back of the spare chair.
“I’m afraid I must go. I will see you later, Lukela. Enjoy your night.”
Val took his hat from the table by the door and opened it as both Lucas and Milt stayed in complete silence. Milt looked frozen in place, with a strange but definitely flustered and confused expression on his face.
The Russian man stopped at the door and turned back, looking at Milt but clearly speaking to Lucas.
“You know, Lukela? You may be right. Solving our problems in a different way may be the way to go. I will look for an empty, spacious closet.”
The door closed and Lucas watched as Milt promptly passed out.