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A Guide to Being Sensible

Summary:

“We have a problem, daddy,” their small son said over the phone, clearly trying to sound mature but only making himself sound like a miniature version of Shouto.

“What’s the problem, little firecracker?” Katsuki asked concerned.

“Papa found a baby bird.”

“A bird.” Katsuki had to stifle a groan.

“A baby bird, daddy,” Teruo corrected.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The loud buzzing of his phone distracted Katsuki from the report he was reading. He picked up the device, checking who was trying to reach him. When he saw Shouto’s name on the screen he accepted the call immediately. Ground Zero’s feedback on his sidekick’s report could wait a little longer. 

“Daddy?”

Katsuki frowned, surprised at hearing Teruo’s voice. Normally Shouto kept his phone away from their son, especially since Teruo loved calling his dads whenever he could. The fact that Teruo had still managed to gain access to the phone concerned Katsuki.

“Teruo? Are you okay? Where is papa?” Katsuki asked, making Deku look up from where he was working with a concerned glance. 

“We have a problem, daddy,” his son said over the phone, clearly trying to sound mature but only making himself sound like a miniature version of Shouto. 

Katsuki sighed, relief potent; there didn’t seem to be an immediate emergency. “What’s the problem, little firecracker?”

“Papa found a baby bird,” the little voice reported.

“A bird.” Katsuki had to stifle a groan, he could already guess the problem. 

“A baby bird, daddy,” Teruo corrected. 

“Have you told papa that we already have two cats, and that cats like to eat birds?”

“I did! I told him all about cats and how birds are prey, but Papa said we would keep them separately.” The last word was broken up into syllables, Teruo trying to pronounce the word correctly and in doing so pronouncing every letter. 

Katsuki chuckled. “Did you tell papa that we have your baby sister already, who needs lots of love and attention?”

“Not yet,” Teruo said brightly. Katsuki could hear someone moving around on the other side of the line. Soon he could hear Teruo’s little voice telling Shouto exactly what Katsuki had just said. “Papa says it will be fine,” his son reported dutifully right after. 

Katsuki groaned loudly again. “Teruo, you have to listen closely. Right now you’re the only sensible one in our little family; you know how papa gets with animals.”

“Sen-si-bol?” Teruo asked.

“Smart, grown-up, sane,” Katsuki explained. “You have the very important job of making sure papa doesn’t do something silly like bring home a baby bird. Can you do that for daddy? Can you take care of papa?”

“I can!” Teruo cheered loudly. 

A sudden chuckle caught Katsuki’s attention and he looked up only to come face to face with a brightly grinning Deku. “Trouble in paradise?” The shitty nerd asked, sounding very amused and not at all sympathetic to his plight. 

Katsuki muted the call, flipping Deku off. “Don’t get me fucking started. Shouto found a fucking baby bird, probably wants to keep it too. Kumiko isn’t even a year old yet.”

Deku didn’t even fake compassion, he just laughed loudly. “Good luck, Kacchan!”

He unmuted the call. “Okay, Teruo. You keep papa in check. I’ll come home as soon as possible, okay?”

“Okay! Bye bye daddy!” The call disconnected before Katsuki could say another word.

 


 

As soon as Katsuki opened the door to their apartment, a small boy came crashing into his legs. A large huff of breath escaped him at the sudden weight, he looked down to find a very stressed Teruo.

“I’m sorry daddy,” he cried. “I tried, but I wasn’t sen-si-bol and now we have a baby bird!”

Katsuki kneeled down, hugging his son closely. In the small ear, he whispered: “You were very sensible but you have a very silly papa. I’m still very proud of you, Teruo. Daddy is going to fix it now.” 

Katsuki lifted the boy easily, placing him on his hip. His son rested his face on Katsuki’s shoulder, letting his dad carry him into the living room.

“Shouto!” Katsuki shouted. “We’re not keeping the flipping bird! We’re bringing it to a wildlife shelter or a vet!”

As he entered the living room, the first thing he saw was two wide eyes, one grey, one blue, staring at Katsuki like they’d been caught doing something highly illegal. Shouto kind of had been, after all, the idiot had promised Katsuki no more animals would be adopted after the last cat. 

The cat in question, carrot (blame Teruo for the horrible name, Katsuki didn’t know what they expected when they let the then four-year-old name an orange cat), was looking intently at whatever Shouto was holding, tail swishing threateningly. 

“But Katsuki, the poor bird fell out of a tree and I couldn’t find its mother,” Shouto argued, like that would make it less irresponsible to bring a bird into an apartment with two kids and two cats. 

“We have a baby,” Katsuki said drily, gesturing to Kumiko who was strapped against Shouto’s chest. “We don’t have the time for a baby bird, we need to bring it to someone who does.”

“Please?” Shouto’s puppy eyes were activated.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

Shouto sighed, the sound filled with pure disappointment. “Okay,” he replied, eyes downcast. “I’ll start googling shelters for birds.”

Teruo glanced between his parents. He looked up at Katsuki, bottom lip quivering. “Daddy, you made papa sad.” 

Now he was fucking attacked with puppy eyes squared. 

“Oh fuck me,” he groaned before the words could even register. His free hand went to his mouth, eyes wide. “Shit,” he gasped. “Fuck. Shit, I did it again.” He chose to stop talking after that. 

“Papa, daddy said a bad word.”

“I know, Teruo, daddy said four very bad words. I think daddy needs to make it up to us,” Shouto replied, eyes filled with mirth. “And I know the perfect way how.”

“You’re a snitch, little firecracker,” Katsuki joked, poking his son in the belly playfully. 

Teruo giggled. “Papa said I’m always allowed to tell him when you say bad words.”

“Oh, papa said that?” Katsuki looked at Shouto, eyebrows raised. 

His husband just shrugged innocently. “I believe you were going to make it up to us?”

 


 

That evening, Katsuki was feeding Kumiko formula after performing the horrifying job of feeding a baby bird insects. 

He looked at the baby girl in his arms, her beautiful brown eyes staring back into his over the bottle. “I hope your papa’s new pet leaves the nest quickly, honey,” he whispered. He ignored the loud, “I heard that!” from the kitchen. “But you, little spark, are not allowed to leave the nest until you’re at least twenty-five,” he continued. 

He chose to take the smile he received around the bottle as an agreement. Maybe he should get this on paper too. 

A sudden indent on the couch told him someone had climbed up next to him. He looked up to find Teruo sitting next to him, watching his little sister. “Daddy, you weren’t very sen-si-bol today.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Katsuki sighed. “You have a very silly papa, Teruo. And your daddy is crazy about him, making me very silly. It’s a horrible cycle.” Shouto’s laugh filled the apartment. Katsuki turned to Teruo, eyes twinkling. “You’ll need to be the sensible one in this family, little firecracker. For your sister. Can you promise me that?”

The small boy looked very serious as he nodded. “Don’t worry, daddy, I’ll be sen-si-bol.”

Notes:

Thanks for reading everyone, I hoped you enjoyed this very short and very fluffy little one-shot!

Have a lovely day!

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