Work Text:
Craig nervously ran his hands through his hair as he looked in the mirror. He had slicked it back, and while it looked nice, he missed the comfort of his blue hat with yellow puffballs. He knew that during dinner, he would have no hat flaps to mess around with to calm his nerves, and the thought of that only made him more nervous.
Craig Tucker had never been one to get tense—that was more of Tweek’s thing. However, he figured that anybody would get nervous when they could feel the weight of a ring box in their pocket. It was a constant reminder that Craig needed everything to be perfect tonight, including himself. His boyfriend was someone who could pick up on Craig’s anxiety like a drug dog sniffing lockers. And if Tweek could tell that Craig was afraid of something, then Tweek himself would become significantly worse.
“Okay,” he told himself as he leaned in closer to the mirror, resting his palms against the surface of the bathroom counter, “Everything just has to go smoothly. It’s just a couple of hours, right? You can follow a plan for a couple of hours, Craig.”
There was a sudden knock on the door, causing Craig to jump back from the counter as if it burned him.
“Everything okay, Craig?” Tweek’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door. “You’ve been in there for a while, and you said we have to leave by five forty-five.”
“C-Coming, Honey,” Craig replied obediently as he splashed his face with cold water one last time. He patted the pocket of his dress pants, ensuring one last time that the ring was indeed in there before he opened the door. Tweek was leaning on the wall expectantly with an eyebrow raised. He looked incredibly handsome with his wild hair, nice green button-up shirt, and black dress pants. It warmed Craig’s heart to think how neither of them had changed much since grade school.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting weird all week.”
Craig let out a ‘pfft’ sound and acted like he was running another hand through his hair; in reality, he was wiping away the layer of nervous sweat that accumulated on his forehead.
“Nothing’s wrong, Babe. And you look great.”
That made Tweek blush. “Oh, Jesus. You too, obviously.”
Craig smiled as he grabbed his jacket off the rack and said, “Come on. I think you’re really going to like this place.”
Tweek’s eye twitched.
“How would you know? When did you go to a fancy restaurant and who did you go with?”
Craig’s smile dropped as he started frantically waving his hands. “What? No! I just saw reviews and pictures online.”
Tweek squinted at him as he put his own jacket on but seemed to be satisfied with Craig’s response. Great, they hadn’t even left the house and Tweek was already annoyed.
That’s okay! The rest of the night should make up for that small hiccup, Craig thought to himself. Just gotta make sure that everything goes nice and smoothly.
When they walked outside, Craig climbed into the driver’s seat as Tweek took his own spot in the passenger seat. Tweek bounced his leg up and down in excitement. Craig hadn’t clued him in as to which restaurant they were going to, only that it was really nice. He’d also planned for the day of his proposal to fall on the day of their anniversary so that Tweek wouldn’t be suspicious as to why Craig was taking him somewhere so fancy. Fifteen years seemed like plenty of a reason to go somewhere nice with each other.
“Should I guess where we’re going?” Tweek asked. Before Craig could even answer, he shook his head. “No, you’re a terrible liar. I’ll know right away if I get it right.”
“Don’t worry,” Craig replied as he leaned back and shot Tweek a smile. He let himself look away from the front for a while since it was a long stretch of straight road. “You’ll have fun. Trust me.”
“Obviously, I trust you! I was just—Oh my god! Craig, stop!”
Craig looked forward and saw a brown blur in front of their car, illuminated by his headlights. He immediately slammed his foot on the brake, listening as the tires screeched against the road. He felt his chest crash into his seatbelt as Tweek let out a yelp to his right. When the car was stopped, he could hear Tweek panting to his right as he looked out the window and squinted to see what had run in front of them. Of course, a deer had decided to attempt suicide at the worst time possible. Craig looked over to see Tweek twitching anxiously.
“Oh my god, Craig! We could have died!” Craig sighed as he reached over to hold one of Tweek’s hands in his.
“Tweek, Honey, I promise we would’ve been fine. Look, the deer is gone and it’s over now.”
Tweek snapped his neck the direction that Craig was gesturing to and saw the deer disappearing among the trees. He let out a loud gulp as he squeezed Craig’s hand tightly and whispered, “Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.”
“Do you need me to pull over for a second?” Craig asked worriedly and checked his mirror to make sure they weren’t holding up traffic. Tweek just shook his head as he twitched and let out a series of inhuman noises.
“J-Just keep your eyes on the road, okay?” Craig nodded as he slowly accelerated the car.
This night was already shit. First, he makes Tweek think he’s been unfaithful. Then he almost murders a deer right in front of him. The good mood was already dead, and no doubt the sight of bright red blood scattered across the windshield would beat its already-mangled corpse. Craig muttered a long list of curses to himself as he saw Tweek hold himself tightly out of the corner of his eye.
At this point, he wondered if he should even propose anymore. Tweek might have already been too jumpy to process the life-changing question of, “Will you marry me so we can spend the rest of our lives together?” Yeah, definitely no pressure.
However, Craig had also been debating proposing for months and he had decided that he wasn’t sure he could handle being anything but Tweek’s fiancé by the end of the night. He’d known that they were meant for each other since at least high school, and likely long before that. Whenever he wasn’t with Tweek, he felt like there was a part of him missing that couldn’t be filled by anyone else.
That’s good, Craig thought. I should add that to my proposal speech.
It wasn’t long before Craig was backing into a parking space. Unfortunately, he had to get a spot in the back, considering the deer had set them a little bit behind schedule. Luckily, however, when they got there, Tweek had calmed down significantly. Craig had wanted to hold hands with him while driving. He liked being able to touch Tweek whenever he could, even if it was just pressing their thighs together while they sat on the couch and watched Stripe #8 running around his cage. Despite Craig’s fingers itching to reach out and touch his boyfriend, as if that would somehow make his anxiety better, he knew that Tweek would only get upset with him for driving with one hand on the wheel.
“It’s cold out here,” Tweek said as hugged his jacket closer to himself. Craig took the opportunity to be suave and wrap his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder when they stepped out of the car. Tweek just rolled his eyes but didn’t make a move to get Craig off of him. It made walking a little bit awkward, but neither of them cared about that.
Tweek raised an eyebrow when he read the name of the restaurant, which was a stereotypically Italian. Craig just winked at him.
When they entered, Craig let his arm slip from Tweek as they walked up to the hostess’ stand. She clicked her pen happily as she asked, “Table for two?”
“There should be a reservation,” Craig replied, biting his lip. With his luck, there wouldn’t be any tables left or something.
“What name is the reservation under?”
“Uh, Tucker.” The woman flipped through a few pages of her booklet before smiling.
“Craig Tucker?” she asked. Craig nodded and the woman pointed her pen to a man with a comically large moustache standing next to her. “Luigi will show you to your table.”
Luigi grabbed two menus from the stand and gestured for the couple to follow him. When the waiter’s back was turned, Craig turned to Tweek and mouthed, “Luigi?” with an incredulous look. Tweek smiled and shrugged as they made their way to the table.
“What can I get you to drink?” Luigi asked with a thick accent. Craig snorted and was rewarded with a dirty look from their waiter.
Craig cleared his throat, “Um, just a water please.”
“And some coffee for me please,” Tweek said.
“Alright. I will leave you look at the menu,” Luigi said as he set down the menus. Craig was about to seat himself when he suddenly remembered the situation and almost tripped trying to pull out Tweek’s seat for him.
“Oh… Th-Thanks,” Tweek said as he slowly sat down. “That was nice of you.”
“A-Anything for my”—Craig gulped pathetically as he pushed the chair in, almost tripping again—“honey!”
“Mhm,” Tweek hummed suspiciously as he watched Craig sink down into his own seat. He drummed his uneven nails against the tablecloth. “Are you sure you’re okay, Craig? If you’re sick, we can always postpone our anniversary date. Oh god. Do you have cancer!?”
“What?” Craig cried. “No, of course not! I just wanted to, uh, treat you to a nice time! Since we’ve been together fifteen years already.” He grinned nervously as he felt beads of sweat roll down his temples. He quickly wiped them away as he watched Tweek’s face go red; however, he still squinted in doubt.
“Well, thank you. Ack! Sorry that I didn’t bring a gift or anything.” Tweek scratched the back of his head with shame. Craig gave him a dismissive wave of his hand.
“No worries, Babe. I’m doing this because I want you to be happy, not for something in return.”
Tweek sighed lovingly. “Thank you, Craig.”
Craig nodded proudly to himself, glad that things seemed to be turning up. He and Tweek began skimming through the menu. Craig had checked beforehand to make sure that there were plenty of vegetarian options. He could only imagine the horror if they’d showed up just for Tweek to only be able to get water or something.
“What do you think you’ll get?” Craig asked when he saw Tweek set his menu on the table.
“The penne arribiata probably! It says you can exchange the chicken with tofu. How ‘bout you?”
“I was thinking the… c-cacio e pepe? Dude, how is this pronounced?” Tweek shrugged cluelessly. “I’ll just point to it when he comes back.”
When Luigi came back, he gave them their drinks, pulled a notepad and pen out of his pocket, and asked them for their orders. Craig followed through with his plan and pointed at his order without actually saying it in order to save himself the embarrassment of whatever bullshit pronunciation he came up with.
“Can I get the penne arribiata?” Tweek asked and clarified, “With tofu instead of chicken.”
“Sí,” Luigi replied as he took their menus and walked away. When he was gone, Craig let out a burst of laughter.
“Dude, he’s something straight out a movie.”
“God, I know,” Tweek said with a smile. “I was trying so hard not to laugh at his moustache the whole time. Maybe you should grow one.”
“Like that?” Craig asked with a raised brow. “Hell no.”
He and Tweek laughed, causing him to shift in his seat. When he did, he felt the ring box moving in his pocket and he was suddenly reminded of why they came here in the first place. Craig gulped to himself as he reached his hand in his pocket and started fiddling with the box. His leg began bouncing up and down nervously and he had to physically hold it down to get it to stop. Luckily, Craig was a master at holding an emotionless face.
Unluckily, his talent didn’t exactly work on Tweek.
“What’s the matter?” Tweek suddenly asked. Craig looked up and saw his boyfriend (and with any luck, his soon-to-be fiancé) staring at him with furrowed brows.
Oh shit, Craig thought.
“Uh… I’m just really nervous to try this new food,” he sought to persuade Tweek. The blond hummed, seeming to accept his answer, much to Craig’s relief.
It wasn’t long before the waiter came back with their plates and set them down. The couple thanked him before they started eating. Well, Craig started eating until he saw Tweek placing his napkin on his lap and staring at his boyfriend expectantly. Craig dropped his fork and scrambled to follow him, causing Tweek to laugh. The sound was like music to Craig’s ears, and he could’ve died happily if the noise swallowed him up and suffocated him.
However, his smile dropped when he saw Tweek furrow his brows and look intently at his dish.
“Something wrong?” Craig asked worriedly. For the love of God, please let there be nothing wrong.
“Ack! I think they gave me real chicken, Craig!”
“What!? Let me see.” Tweek pushed his plate forward for Craig to look. The brunet squinted his eyes and looked at the “tofu,” which was indeed chicken. After all these years of eating with Tweek, he knew the difference. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered angrily.
“Angry” was not a strong enough word to describe what Craig was feeling. Their night was already full of hiccups and now Tweek was probably wishing he never even dated Craig in the first place. He sighed with annoyance and stood up, causing Tweek’s eyes to widen as he shook his head furiously.
“Craig, no.”
“I’m defending your honor!” Craig exclaimed.
“I can defend my own honor, Craig!” This was true, but Craig was too irritated to back down. “It’s not a big deal! Seriously, there’s no point in wasting it now.”
“Is there a problem?” Luigi asked from behind Craig, causing him to spin around and cross his arms.
“Dude,” he spat, “my boyfriend asked for tofu.”
Luigi’s mouth went agape as he looked at Craig, then at the plate, then at Tweek, and finally back at Craig. “I-I’m sorry! I—”
“You’re sorry?” Craig asked with disbelief. He knew that it was a busy night and Luigi didn’t deserve to get yelled at for an honest mistake, but all the anger and annoyance that had been building up throughout the night was getting to him and he needed to take it out on someone, even if it was an innocent bystander.
“Craig, please,” Tweek muttered as he buried his face in his hands in shame. Unfortunately, Craig didn’t hear him.
“What if that had been an allergy? You would’ve killed him!” Craig said as he put his face within inches of Luigi’s. The waiter frowned.
“Alright, you need to leave, sir. You are causing a disruption.” If Craig wasn’t furious, he would have noticed the strange looks coming from all around them.
“What!?” Craig cried. Tweek shook his head and started mumbling to himself. Both of them had to be escorted out by a security guard, Craig arguing the entire time and Tweek just letting out a sigh.
“That’s such bullshit,” Craig said in the car. “Why is it my fault that they—Tweek!?”
He looked over and saw the blond with his head down and face covered as his body shook slightly.
“Oh my god, please don’t cry, Tweek. I’m so sorry,” he cooed as he leaned over to pull Tweek into his arms. “I screwed it up. I’m sorry.”
“Craig,” Tweek replied as he looked up. When he and Craig met eyes, Craig noticed that he was laughing rather than crying, causing him to draw back in surprise. “Craig, oh my god.”
“Wh-What?” Craig sputtered. Tweek just let his head fall back as he leaned back into his seat and started laughing hysterically. “Tweek, I’m confused.”
“Confused by what? You got us kicked out.” Craig frowned.
“Yeah… That’s a good thing?”
Tweek laughed some more as he used his finger to wipe away a tear from his eye. “Not a good thing but… the way you looked when we were leaving was so funny! Your face was, like, red!”
Craig was glad that Tweek wasn’t upset, but he didn’t understand why. He had completely ruined their night every step of the way, and he was fully convinced that Tweek was going to dump him the moment they got home. Oh well. If Tweek was happy, then Craig was happy.
“So, what do we do now?” Tweek asked as his laughter finally subsided. “You want to go home and make something instead?”
Craig shook his head as he forced a small smile. “Actually, there was something else I wanted to do tonight.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a surprise, Honey.”
“Can’t wait,” Tweek replied with a smile as he turned to gaze out the window. Craig sighed in relief at Tweek’s calmness as he turned the key into the ignition. It was an extremely rare time when Craig was freaking out more than Tweek. He wondered if maybe Tweek had picked up on his nerves and was acting calmer to mellow Craig out. He didn’t doubt it, considering his boyfriend was probably the sweetest person that Craig knew. (Well, most of the time anyway. Tweek was terrifying when he was angry.)
“Stark’s Pond?” Tweek asked when he looked at where Craig had parked. “Why here?”
“Don’t you remember coming here as kids?” Craig questioned with a cocked head.
Tweek nodded. “Yeah, but it’s been a while. Well, the sky looks pretty, I guess,” he said as he looked out the windshield at the stars. Craig nodded and bit his lip nervously.
“Well, come on. I want to show you something.”
Craig held Tweek’s hand and led him down to a tree close to the water. Tweek was looking at him with a mixture of confusion and excitement, completely oblivious to Craig’s plan. Meanwhile, Craig could feel nervous bile rising in his throat. No test, job interview, or doctor’s appointment had ever made him feel so anxious. Hell, someone could hold the barrel of a gun to his face with their finger over the trigger and he still wouldn’t be so afraid.
It wasn’t that he thought Tweek would say no, but the man had always been full of surprises, even fifteen years later. He wouldn’t be surprised if he got down on one knee and Tweek feinted or started crying that they were moving much too fast.
Whatever, Craig told himself. It’s too late now. I have to do this.
Technically, he didn’t have to, but he really wanted to. The thought of him and Tweek spending the rest of their life together was enough to make his hands shake nervously. Well, he figured that him and Tweek being together forever was a given, but a marriage certificate just solidified it.
When they got to the tree, Craig asked, “Do you remember sitting here as kids and stargazing?”
Tweek raised a brow. “Obviously. Gah! What the hell are you getting at?”
Okay, the moment of truth.
“Tweek,” Craig said after he let out a loud gulp. “I mean, obviously I love you. I wouldn’t have stuck around this long if I didn’t.”
Tweek frowned as Craig let out a quiet laugh.
“Um… I had a speech, but I’m kinda nervous, so I forgot it. I’m bad with words anyways, so I’ll, uh, just get to the point.”
Craig fumbled while getting the ring box out of his pocket, but when he did, Tweek’s jaw dropped to the ground.
“Will, uh… Will you marry me?” Craig’s fingers shook as he pulled the ring out. Unfortunately, his sweat had gotten all over his pointer finger and thumb, so when he did manage to get it out, he almost immediately dropped it. “Oh fuck!”
Craig yelled out a long set of unholy words as he kneeled down and started looking for the ring in the dirt, which was even more difficult considering the only light he had was that from the moon. He felt himself sweating even more now.
Well, this was a complete and utter fail. Craig felt true embarrassment for probably the first time in his life. He saw Tweek kneel down from the corner of his eye and he lightly shook his head with a groan.
“Don’t worry about it, Tweek,” he sighed as he saw Tweek start combing through the dirt as well. “I totally screwed everything up.”
“What?” Tweek asked with genuine confusion, causing Craig to look up at him. “What’d you screw up?”
“Uh, our entire date? And I just dropped the fucking engagement ring. Just go wait in the car.”
“Craig,” Tweek said softly as he looked deep into his green eyes, “Obviously I’ll marry you.”
Craig choked on his spit.
“…What?” he replied dumbly, making Tweek chuckle softly. Craig blinked at him. “But this night has been a total piece of ass!”
“I didn’t think so. What was ‘ass’ about it?”
“Well, for starters, I almost hit a deer,” Craig deadpanned and Tweek nodded as he looked up in thought.
“I suppose so.”
“And I got us kicked out of the restaurant.”
“That was hilarious!” Tweek cried. Then he started laughing as he thought back to dinner while Craig frowned.
“And now I screwed up the engagement. This wasn’t romantic at all like I’d hoped.”
Tweek pursed his lips and jabbed Craig hard in the chest, causing him to let out a small “Ow.”
“Craig,” Tweek began, “if you think something like that would make me not want to marry you then you’re a fucking idiot.” Craig nodded as Tweek rolled his eyes. “What matters the most is that I could tell how hard you were trying to make me happy—”
“I didn’t make you happy,” Craig interrupted, and Tweek punched him in the arm harder than he needed to. Craig groaned as Tweek rolled his eyes again.
“Don’t interrupt me, dick. And don’t tell me how to feel! You didn’t need to have some ‘perfect night’ or whatever for me to say yes. I’ve loved you for fifteen years. You could’ve proposed on a fucking public bus next to a hobo and I would’ve said yes.” He smiled. “I would’ve killed you, but I would’ve said yes, you know.”
Craig just sighed as he looked back at the ground. “You don’t have to make me feel better.”
“Ack! Stop moping and put this ring on my finger now,” Tweek said firmly. Craig looked up and saw Tweek holding out the golden band in his palm for Craig to take. He looked up at Tweek’s dark blue eyes, which were gazing at him expectantly.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, I’m… me.”
“That’s why I want to get married,” Tweek replied like it was obvious. “I don’t want anyone but you. Jesus, I sound corny.”
“Yeah,” Craig said as he took the ring with a smile. He pulled Tweek to his feet and slowly slid the band onto his ring finger, happy with the way it fit perfectly. Tweek held his hand out and flipped it around to examine the ring, nodding in content.
“I’m surprised you got the right size.”
Craig blushed as he scratched the back of his neck. “Well… I measured your hand while you were sleeping. Which was extremely difficult since I always fall asleep before you.”
“I appreciate the effort,” Tweek teased as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Craig’s torso. Craig pulled him in close, letting Tweek rest the side of his face against his broad chest.
“I still feel bad,” Craig mused. “I really wanted everything to be perfect.”
“Every second with you is perfect,” Tweek pressed before he let out a gag. “Ack! That was really cringy.”
Craig laughed. “Heh, yeah it really was.”
“Shut up and kiss me, asshole,” Tweek exclaimed as he looked up expectantly.
Craig grinned from ear to ear as he leaned down to kiss Tweek deeply, happy at the familiar feeling of Tweek’s lips against his. In the middle of the kiss, he moved his hand to hold Tweek’s, his thumb rubbing against the smooth metal of the ring on his fiancé’s finger.