Chapter Text
Katsuki was awoken by the sound of his phone ringing on the other side of the room. The sun was still rising, but he lifted himself out of bed and grabbed his phone from the floor. The screen was shattered, shit. Well, it's not like he could do anything about it.
~The Hag~
Katsuki didn't feel like answering. He felt like absolute shit this morning. His entire body is throbbing. He wanted to get right back in bed, but he doesn't. If he laid back down, it felt like he would never get back up. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad? Yet, no matter how tempting it was, he stayed up.
Katsuki takes a bit to get ready for a day, then he walks down to the commons to go get coffee. It's still only 6am, so no one else is down there. Normally, a few people would be down here, but he got a text saying that class 1A got the day off today. It's probably just so the school can figure out what to do with him and Izuku. It was all just a mess. Especially being that Hisashi was never arrested. No one had heard from him in years, no one needed to reach him, so no one did. That was until now, when the secret finally came to surface.
People were looking now. At Him. At Deku. At the monster of a man, Hisashi Midoriya. They weren't going to let it slide through the cracks this time around.
Once Katsuki finished making his coffee, he sat at the counter listening to music with his earbuds. He knew he should eat, but he can't bring himself to be hungry. He didn't eat dinner last night either, but he has no desire to eat anything. He rarely does, but especially not now.
Katsuki is in the common room for almost an hour before people come downstairs. Every single one of them is giving him this look. It was a look between pity and concern. Yet no one comments on it, either because they want to avoid the subject, or there to afraid of how he would react. Scared that Katsuki might become feral or some shit.
He hated it.
Especially because they were right.
Katsuki just wanted to be not in his room, but if everyone was going to look at him like they are, like he was about to break at any second. What is the point of being down here? Goddamn it, he wished they never fucking learned about what happened. They were all being so fucking weird about it.
Actually, Katsuki just wished it never fucking in the first place. He wished Hisashi never touched him... never fucked him, he wished he could just be okay already.
FUCK!
Katsuki gets up from his spot at the counter because he felt like he was going to lose his shit. This was all to much, he was practically having flashbacks, and he just couldn't deal with that right now. So before he goes to his room, he grabs a kitchen knife from the drawer.
Katsuki pretty much runs up to his room, knife in his pocket. When he got to his room, he slammed the door behind him and leaned his body up against it. He felt like shit, broken, useless. Be pulled the knife out his pocket and lifted up his sleeve to his right arm. He knew if he cut the other wrist, people are more likely to notice it because of the fact he gets his stitches out in a few days.
He just feel fucking broken, and he didn't know what else to do. This is just always how he dealt with all his shitty emotions. Replacing all the mental pain with physical pain. Pain in the body always quieted the pain in his after all.
Katsuki holds the knife above his wrist and pushed down. It felt almost euphoric to watch the blood drip down to the floor. It hurts, more than it normally does, but he kept going, cut after cut. Once he got about 10 cuts in, the knife falls out of his hand to the floor, and he just started sobbing.
'God, maybe everyone is right about me. I am broken.' Katsuki thought to himself.
Katsuki didn't realize how loud he must have been crying until he heard a knock at his door.
"Are you okay in there, man?" Kirishima's voice speaks from behind the door.
"No." Katsuki wanted to say he was fine. That's all he wanted, but this damn quirk wasn't going to let him do that.
"Im going to come in." Kirishima says as he starts to push on the door Katsuki was leaned up against. Katsuki scooted forward a bit so Kirishima could come in without knocking him forward. It's not like Katsuki could stop him from coming in if he had tried.
Once Kirishima enters Katsuki's room and looks at his friend on the floor, his eyes widen.
"Oh fuck." Kirishima looks like he's panicking. Fuck, how else would he react to seeing his friend in a small pool of blood, with self inflicted wounds that are pretty fucking deep.
Kirishima rushes into Katsuki's bathroom and grabs the first aid kit from under Katsuki's sink. Before he can even walk out of the bathroom, someone else walks into the room.
Denki to be specific.
"I was just going to go talk to you, but I'm glad I saw the door was open. Here, let me help. " Denki says to Kirishima weirdly calmly. Like none of this was surprising, or maybe like he was used to this. Katsuki wasn't sure what he thought about it.
It didn't feel like anything was real for Katsuki. He was still crying, but it didn't feel like he was even in his own body, if that makes sense. Denki and Kirishima buzzed around him , cleaning up his arm . He just stared off into the distance and cryed. He wanted to tell the 2 of them to leave him alone, he didn't't want to let them see him in a moment of weakness, but the words don't come. He has to just sit, staying quiet, like he's not fucking broken.
It's not like Katsuki cut deep enough to bleed out or some shit, but even still, Denki was holding a towel against his wrist and applying pressure to the cuts, just like Katsuki had done to himself many times when cut a bit too deep.
Once Katsuki felt slightly more lucid, it made him realize just how much he had just fucked up. They're probably just going to go tell Aizawa what happened, and he would get carted off to some fucking hospital for a week and get kicked out of UA for being fucked up.
Denki out of nowhere hugs him.
"It's gonna be alright. We won't tell anyone if you don't want us to, right Kirishima?"
Shitty hair nods from the other side of the room. He looks like he's just seen a ghost, and he's crying a bit. Well, Denki looks relatively unfazed. It kinda felt like he could read Katsuki's mind, as for the next 15 minutes as he's checking his wounds, and wrapping them up, he tells Katsuki exactly what he needs to hear.
Once Denki finishes making sure that Katsuki is alright he helps him off the floor up to the bed.
"Im sorry." Is all Katsuki manages to say. He was so fucking embarrassed about what just happened.
"Don't worry about it, man, it's nothing I haven't dealt with before. " Denki says. Both Katsuki and Kirishima look at him confused.
"Oh, I realize I never explained that, did I? Well, long story short, mental illness runs in my family, so I've done this with both my mother and brother more time than I can count." Denki says, rubbing the back of his neck like he just said something embarrassing, not just causality admitting to trauma.
"I didn't know, I'm sorry, man. I can't imagine seeing either of my mom's like that." Kirishima responds. Denki just shrugs back at him. Katsuki doesn't say anything. It's not like he could say anything that would actually make a difference, so what's the point. Nothing Katsuki could say could change Denki's family.
Kirishima is still standing next to the balcony door, still looking like Katsuki just traumatized him. Well, thinking about it, Katsuki probably did. He doesn't know what to say. Katsuki was supposed to be the strong one, the "Beast of 1A." But he's not. He was just some fucking mentally ill, abused, traumatized teenager. He wasn't special.
"Im really sorry." Katsuki says again. He didn't know what else to tell them, how to make up for the major fuck up he just did.
"No, seriously, man, it's alright. Neither of us is mad at you. " Denki says, sitting next to Katsuki on the bed, putting his arm over his sholder. Katsuki wanted to push him off, but he didn't think it's worth the effort. Katsuki just looked down at his lap.
"Why?" Katsuki asked.
"Why, what?" Denki responds.
"Why aren't you mad? I mean, you should be mad!" Katsuki stands up as he speaks. He was yelling, he didn't know why he was yelling, but he was.
"Because you've done nothing wrong, Bakugou, you're aloud to not be okay, no ones going to be mad at you for breaking down." Denki is speaking in a quiet, sympathetic tone, even though Katsuki was screaming at him.
"Yes, I have done something wrong! I mean, you should be mad at me! You need to be mad at me!" Katsuki started crying, leaning up against the wall and sank to the floor.
Katsuki felt a hand land on his shoulder, and he flinches away from it before looking up and seeing its was just Kirishima.
It wasn't Hisashi.
It wasn't the hag.
He was fine.
"Oh, Bakugou." Kirishima sighs lightly and joins the blond on the dorm room floor. Denki sitting on the floor with the others a few seconds later.
Katsuki just crys. Leaning into Kirishima's side. He doesn't ever push the crying blond away. He just lets Katsuki sit there and cry. He lets out all the sobs he had been holding in, and Kirishima and Denki don't judge him. Not even momentarily. The thought to judge Katsuki never even crossed their minds.
Katsuki didn't know how long it had been when they all finally got up off the floor, but it was still only about 8 in the morning.
"How about you and Kirishima go downstairs and have some breakfast? I can finish cleaning up in here." Denki says after a bit of them just awkwardly standing in the dorm.
"That sounds good. Just make sure you eat to bro!" Kirishima responds before Katsuki can make an argument. Katsuki didn't want Denki to be stuck with the mess he had made. Yet he can't say anything about it before Kirishima grabs his hand and guides him out of my room and to the elevator.
Katsuki feels himself blush a bit once he realized that he was holding hands with Kirishima. He trys his best to hide it, but he apparently was not good at hiding the fact that he was blushing
"Are you good, man? You look red."
Kirishima asked, making him blush more.
Fuck.
"Im good. At least im not like sick or some shit."
Once the elevator hits the main floor, the two walk out. Still holding hands until they got into the common room when Katsuki takes a step away from Kirishima. The common room is pretty quiet at the moment. Most of the class was probably still fucking sleeping anyway.
Kirishima makes the two of them scrambled eggs, or he tries to before Katsuki takes over.
One does not make scrambled eggs on the highest temperature possible. Apparently Kirishima didn't know that
After the eggs are done cooking, he turns off the stove, and they sit down at the counter. Katsuki eats relatively quickly. Mainly just so he can get back into his room, away from other people.
Katsuki's wrist was throbbing along with pretty much every other muscle in his body. It was fucking painful. It's not like it was a new pain though. His body feels like this at least twice every week.
Kirishima takes his time eating his eggs. Leaving Katsuki just sitting next to him, watching him eat. Katsuki was pretty sure he had been doing it on purpose to give Denki more time to finish cleaning the blood off the floor.
Once he finally finishes eating, they head back to Katsuki's dorm. The room is practically spotless, except for the trash bin full of bloody rags.
"I just finished up. How was breakfast?" Denki says, using the back of his arm to wipe sweat off of his forehead.
"Fine." Katsuki responded, trying not to sound as guilty as he felt for letting someone pick up his mess.
Denki nods at him before making eye contact with Kirishima as to ask him how it went without saying a word outloud. Kirishima just shrugs.
"I'm gonna go get a pop tart from the kitchen. I'll be back in a few minutes." Denki says after a few seconds.
"Alright, man, we'll be in here." Kirishima answers.
Kirishima and Katsuki walk over and sit on the bed. The atmosphere in the room was uncomfortable, but he guessed that makes sense. Katsuki didn't want to say anything about what happened, and Kirishima still looked too upset to say anything.
Denki after about 5 minutes comes back to the room. Pop tart in hand. He joins the others on Katsuki's bed.
They ended up watching some dumb reality TV shows, Denki said was good. He was wrong, very wrong. The show is terrible, but Katsuki felt too exhausted and shitty to say anything about that. It was weirdly nice. Having Denki and Kirishima watch a show laughing like nothing ever happened. Yet good things never last, Katsuki knew that.
So when he gets a call that interrupts the show, he's not that surprised. He takes his phone out of his pocket and see who it is.
~The Hag~
It was her again, and as much as Katsuki wanted to ignore her call, he had already ignored her calling for over 24 hours. He just needed to suck it up and answer it.
So he did, he answered it, and the first thing he heard was just screaming, he hadn't even put the phone up to his ear yet, and he could hear her exact words. Denki pauses the show as he put the phone up to his ear.
"What the fuck Katsuki! You haven't answered your phone in a fucking day!!" She yells into the phone
"I'm sorry-" Katsuki was cut off by more screaming.
"No, you're not! You're never fucking sorry! You're a lying brat, and that's all you are!" He just stays quiet. When she gets like this, it's best to just say nothing at all.
"I got a call from Aizawa yesterday, telling me how you apparently were raped and cut yourself! Is lying to your class for attention fun?! Aizawa was actually worried for you!"
Oh, that's what this is about.
"You know I can't even lie right now?" Katsuki says in as calm of tone as he possibly can for being pretty much on the verge of a panic attack.
"You probably just figured some way around that like you always do! You've always done shit like that!" Her yelling gives Katsuki a headache. He haven't responded to her yet again. It's not really worth the effort.
"And now look at you! Lying about shit people actually deal with! I mean, who except you would even lie about someone raping you?! You even cut yourself to try and make people believe you! Well I'm not fucking stupid enough to believe your obvious lies brat!"
Katsuki tryed to keep myself from crying. He's not a liar, he's never been a liar. Especially not about something like this
Before he could even think about what to say in response, more yelling comes through the phone.
"You know, I wish I had never given birth to a brat like you. You're always doing some dumb shit for attention! So just fucking stop you piece of shit! Your classmates and teachers don't need to feel bad for you! So, just stop!!" Then she hangs up without another word.
Katsuku dropped his phone to the floor, and before he even had the time to process that, that call just happened, he was in the arms of Kirishima. Sobbing.
Katsuki almost forgot that those 2 were even in the room. Fuck, they must have heard the whole damn conversation.
"Im not a liar, I swear im not a liar -" Katsuki says, though his own broken sobs.
"We know Bakugou, we know." Katsuki wasn't sure which of them said that, but he guessed that didn't really matter.
After a few minutes, once Katsuki had calmed down, he pulled himself out of Kirishima arms.
"Are you alright, man?" Kirishima asks me.
"Not really, but I'll survive. It's nothing I haven't heard from her before." Katsuki answered.
"You know, you didn't deserve to be yelled at like that. You did nothing wrong. And no offense, but your moms a piece of shit." Denki says.
Katsuki laughed a bit at the end of that statement. Because, fun fact, she is a piece of shit. Yet it's not like Katsuki didn't deserve it. He wasn't any better than her and he knows that.
"Yeah, sure." Katsuki said.
"No, seriously, man, it was fucked up for her to say that." Kirishima says this time
"She's not wrong you know. I am a terrible person, always have been, always will be, " Katsuki says, staring up at his ceiling.
Neither Denki or Kirishima have a chance to respond to him before there is a knock at the door.
Katsiki quickly gets up and answers the door. It's Aizawa.
"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, I just need to talk with you for a minute." Aizawa says after noticing the 2 classmates sitting on Katsuki's bed.
"It's fine." Katsuki said as he stepped aside and let his sensi come in.
Denki and Kirishima both give a small bow to Aizawa as he enters the small dorm room. Aizawa scans the room with eyes before they land on the trash can. Shit. There were still bloody rags filling the can. Shit. Shit. Shit.
"So, Bakugou, I think you know what I'm going to ask, so do you want Denki and Kirishima to leave the room first?" He says, Katsuki's foot lightly taps against the floor as he thought for a second.
Katsuki made his decision.
"They can stay. It's nothing they don't know."
"Alright. Im just going to be blunt. Did you hurt yourself?" Aizawa said in a slightly kinder tone than was usual for him.
"Yes." Is all Katsuki sayz as his eyes flick over to Kirishima and Denki sitting on the bed. The feeling of guilt hits Katsuki once again.
"Okay. Would you please show me?" Aizawa says, and Katsuku slowly reached out his arm. It's sort of like deja vue, earlier this week, this exact thing happened. And now it's just repeating all over again. God he fucking hated this.
He gently pulls up Katsuki sleeve and undoes the wrapped Denki had put there hours prior.
"Well, you don't need stitches, so that's good, but these are still deep. I still want you to see Recovery Girl, though. How about we continue our conversation on the way there?" Aizawa says, and Katsuki looks over to his two friends sitting on his bed.
"You should go with him, man, we can continue hanging out later if you want. Let's head out Denki." Kirishima says, and they stand up and head out the door. Katsuki and Aizawa pretty much leave immediately after they do. Katsuki shuts his dorm room behind them, and they start their walk to Recovery Girls office.
Yet again, Aizawa won't let him re-cover his arm as they walk, so Katsuki just tries to sneak through the common room behind Aizawa. Luckily, no one seems to notice them walking past them.
"So, your mother called me a little bit ago." Aizawa says once they get outside the dorm building.
Fuck. He probably thinks he's a liar too now.
"I just wanted to say she was out of line calling you a liar."
"Oh." Is the only way Katsuki knows how to respond to thar.
"I think you should go to therapy, Bakugou." Katsuki just stared at him blankly. He didn't need fucking therapy. Yes, he has issues, but he has them handled. He's fine, he doesn't need stupid fucking therapy, thats for the weak.
"No. No fucking way." Katsuki says after a second.
"Bakugou, you're stuggling. That's okay, but you need support. I can't force you to do anything, but I really think it would be in your best interest. So, I want you to at least meet the therapist who now works here on campus."
"Fucking fine." He only agreed because he didn't have the fucking energy to argue after the whole thing with his mother earlier.
"Also, do you want to talk to the detective today or tomorrow? Sorry I can't give you any more time than that."
Katsuki thinks about for a minute before responding.
"Can I do it later today? I just want to get this fucking over with."
"Yeah, that works. I'll tell him to expect meeting you soon." Aizawa says as they walk into the school.
There were a lot of people in the hall. Katsuki tryed his best to hide his uncovered wrist, but he was sure at least a few people saw the cuts. He just kept his head down until they got to the infirmary.
When they get there, there's 3 different people in the room, because of course there was. Katsuki holds his injured wrist up against his chest and covers it with his other arm as well.
"Hello, please take a seat, I'll be with you in a second." She gave him and Aizawa a small smile before going back to whatever patient she was working with. Katsuki and Aizawa just sit in the waiting chairs next to the door.
It took a while before Recovery Girl was able to talk with them, but luckily, there was now an open bed, so no one else had to see him in this fuckedup state.
Recovery Girl pulls the curtain around the bed, which Katsuki was now sitting on. Aizawa was standing at the end of it.
"So, what happened?" Recovery Girl asks.
"I hurt myself again." Katsuki said because this damn truth quirk really wants him to just tell everyone everything apparently.
"Okay, would you please show me?" It wasn't really a question, he didn't think, but it was phrased as one to sound nicer and less forceful. So Katsuki would be more likely to feel uncomfortable. It didn't work but it was the intent that counts.
Katsuki pulls his arm away from his chest, and she lightly takes it to examine the self-inflicted wounds covering it.
"Okay, these ones don't need stitches. Let me grab some stuff to wrap that up. We will have to have another talk about a safety plan, but because we're going to get a therapist here at UA in the next few days, I think we can wait until shes able to put in input to the situation." Recovery Girl says before she walks out of the curtained off area. Katsuki just sighs.
It's a couple minutes before she comes back and wraps up his wrist. She also checks on his other wrist to see how the cuts are healing on that side. He felt fucking weak, having two bandages wrists wasn't exactly how he thought this week was going to go, but it's not like he can fucking change it now.
Katsuki stays in the infirmary for a while and took a nap. Recovery Girl wanted him to stay so she could monitor him for a few hours apparently. He didn't get the fucking point but it is what it is.
He only wakes up when he felt someone shaking his shoulder lightly. He briefly panicked before realizing it's just Aizawa.
"It's around 6. Everyone else who needed to talk to the detective to make a statement has already gone, so if you still want to do it today, we have to do it soon." Aizawa says.
First of all, how the fuck did he manage to sleep for almost 4 hours, secondly who else had to make a statement? He know Deku was one of them, but Aizawa wording implies multiple people. But he doesn't ask, he doesn't really care enough to.
"Alright." Katsuki says as he sits up off the infirmary bed.
"Do you want to go to the assembly tomorrow? It's not a requirement, but I think you should go." Aizawa asks once they leave the infirmary and start the walk to Aizawas office.
"Yeah, fine. I don't want to miss more shit than I already have." He responded.
He knew Ihe'd only missed a day and a half, and the rest of the class also missed that, but that didn't matter.
It's a short walk to Aizawa's office. When they walk into the room, there's a man with black hair sitting at Aizawa desk drinking a cup of coffee. Once he notices them he sets down his cup and stands up.
"My name is Naomasa Tsukauchi. You're Bakugou, correct?"
He nods in response.
"Okay, well, I'll be the detective investigating your case. Its nice to meet you. Now, how about we get started."