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(Stream begins in a dimly lit room with Troy and Abed sitting on armchairs in their pajamas.)
TROY: Hello everyone and welcome back to-
TROY AND ABED: (sung) Troy and Abed After Dark!
ABED: This is our monthly live show where we get a little candid, give you an update on our lives, and you can ask us anything, provided that it doesn’t get us banned from twitch.
(the two of them laugh.)
TROY: So, last month, we told all of you that Soap Disco: The Movie was nominated for Best Soundtrack, and we just got back home from LA, we were in LA for the Oscars, and if you watched the Oscars, you probably already know that we won, but for those of you who didn’t watch, now you know! Go watch our movie, if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s on Hulu, along with every episode of the show. We are very proud of the final product, and we were so happy to be able to work with Hulu.
ABED: Yeah, I mean that was huge, especially since when our show got canceled and the gleeboot stole our timeslot, I thought our careers were over.
TROY: (laughs) “The Gleeboot”, is that what we’re calling it now?
ABED: Yes. Has anyone been watching it lately, is it like, actually good? Not that I care, I’m just curious.
(the chat fills with replies about the show, mainly saying that it’s one of those “so bad it’s good” shows, “like a car crash, you just can’t look away”, and “mainly profiting off of nostalgia, so not bad if you like that kind of thing”.)
TROY: Just admit that you like musicals, Abed.
ABED: I never said I didn’t like musicals, I just said that Glee wasn’t that good.
TROY: Let’s just hope our college Glee club isn’t watching this (he grimaces).
ABED: Okay, first question: “Abed, what sort of musicals do you like?” (he hums thoughtfully) Christmas movies, if those count. A lot of classic Broadway. Really, I care a lot about the story, but sometimes if the music is really good, I can make an exception, like with Dr. Horrible. The music is beautifully composed, but God, how I wish Joss Whedon would stop fridging his women.
TROY: Another music related question. “Troy, how’s your music going?”
Oh yeah! So for those who don’t know, following my work on the music in Soap Disco, I started writing my own music, and I would like to think it’s going well, my EP is coming out next month, so the next episode will talk about that!
ABED: Ooh, can we even answer this one, like, actually candidly?
TROY: What does it say?
ABED: “Why’d Soap Disco get canceled in the middle of season 2?”
TROY: Yeah no. We can’t be fully candid. Let’s just say, we had some creative differences with our network, and the gleeboot beat us out in the ratings department.
ABED: I’ll also say this, though. Some news came out online about somebody at our old network recently. We’re glad people are speaking out about him. If you know, you know.
(Someone in the chat links to a twitter post explaining how Troy and Abed’s old showrunner had been fired for discriminating against many of his employees, not just them. The message is later pinned.)
TROY: Next question. “If you could only eat at one restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be?” Shirley’s, easy. This is not sponsored. Not even saying that just because she’s our friend, either, it’s just like, genuinely some of the best diner food I’ve ever had. She is starting to expand her restaurant outside of Colorado, she just got a couple new locations, one in New York, and one in Chicago, so if you have one near you, go try it, seriously, it’s awesome.
ABED: I agree with you, but like, right below Shirley’s my second choice would be that noodle place I like-
TROY: You’re never gonna remember the name of that place, huh?
ABED: (he laughs) That doesn’t matter. If we’re driving down the street, I can point at it, and you know that’s the one and we can get noodles there.
TROY: Shirley, you heard the man, get some pasta on your menu.
ABED: Another behind the scenes question, “What was it like to transition from your indie home films to your big productions that you do now?” Oh my goodness, it was amazing. It felt so surreal and it just made everything bigger and better. Of course, Troy is really good with the creative and expressive side of it. I am quite good at the behind the scenes, and quite a lot of- sort of- method acting, but we can only be in so many places at once. We almost need it to be more than just us in the guest room of our apartment fooling around with a green screen.
TROY: Especially since, I think the nice thing about having, even just our friends there, was like, there were other people who could put your ideas to paper better than you could.
ABED: That is true, a lot of our DVDs when we were just starting out, oddly enough, probably wouldn’t have been as successful if it weren’t for Britta, or Chang, or any of our friends who helped us out. They were sort of the team before the team.
TROY: We know we’ve been doing a lot of promos this episode, but Annie’s working on a memoir, and Britta’s working on a comic book, so look out for those. If you like our stuff, you’ll like their stuff because they helped us out with a lot of our stuff.
ABED: Yeah, I mean Annie, she was in our- what was it, like, zombie horse girl, animated movie?
(they laugh)
TROY: Oh yeah, Necroprancer! That was so fun! That idea was so weird, we did not think it was gonna take off. But yeah, she played Annabelle, and that was her first time voice acting, or even acting at all, but she had the perfect voice for it.
ABED: And it’s probably obvious now that I named the character after Annie basically, because I literally could not come up with another name. I am terrible with names. Most of our good titles are not at all original.
TROY: Yeah, but we’ve said before, especially back when we mainly made fan films, that at this point, everyone’s inspired by something and that fact doesn’t make anything worse or better. I think that’s why we were so disappointed to have Soap Disco get canceled. We had worked on it for so long, and Britta really helped, and Jeff and Shirley really helped, and then we couldn’t get good enough ratings to reach even two seasons, it almost felt like our kid had failed kindergarten.
ABED: Yeah, but then we remembered, I mean, not kindergarten, but first grade, I got held back in first grade, and I was fine.
TROY: At least your parents made it clear to you that it was an abnormality.
ABED: (he laughs.) Oh my god, yeah! (to the camera) His parents were like, “Oh no, everyone does fifth grade twice.”
TROY: And I already didn’t celebrate my birthday, so then it became even less special when I didn’t even have school to keep track of my age anymore.
ABED: We have one last question, and this is a big, existential one, “Where do you two think you would be had you never met each other?” Oh I’d have no friends. I’d probably be some sort of Brown Mark Zuckerberg.
TROY: (he scoffs) No, no. I don’t think you’re that socially inept.
ABED: I thought you were gonna say I could never get that rich.
TROY: No, you could, but I don’t think you’d ever try something like the metaverse.
ABED: (he cringes) Oh god no. What about you?
TROY: Honestly? I probably wouldn’t have gone to college, nor would I have grown up as much as I have in these recent years. I think I saw your confidence and it made me want to be more confident and challenge the norms a little more and that made me a better person.
ABED: Yeah, and you drastically improved my emotional intelligence.
TROY: Sorry if these answers aren’t too profound, I think it’s just that I don’t want to imagine a reality where I’m not with Abed, which might be a sign that we should just never let that reality happen.
(there’s a bit of silence before he asks, with a sly smile on his face.)
What if I just asked you to marry me, right now? Would you say yes?
ABED: (his face is flushed, he’s shaking his head in disbelief, but he’s smiling all the while.) No. No, you’re not doing it here. Not at three am, in our apartment, on livestream, while we’re in nothing but silk robes, no. This is a prank.
TROY: Do you want to marry me?
ABED: (he’s guffawing.) Shut up! Not here! Please, somewhere nicer! Come on, make it like the movies, take me to Disneyland, or the beach, or at least a nice restaurant with a balcony.
TROY: (he smiles wider.) If I take you to the dreamatorium and tell you to imagine a balcony, can I propose to you there? Is that good enough?
ABED: (his face is even more flushed now, he’s wheezing with laughter and waving flippantly at the audience.) Cut the cameras. Cut them right now. That’s it. Stream over! Goodnight, everybody!
(END OF STREAM VOD.)
Epilogue
Abed knew that even if he could have had more free time to generate more success for himself without his friends, without his partner, he would never be as happy as he was right now. When Soap Disco got canceled, he knew he couldn’t get through that without Troy.
So, when the film duo had dinner with the producers of Inspector Spacetime for their next project, and Troy took him to the outdoor dining area just outside the restaurant, and actually got down on one knee, Abed already knew his answer.
In the cold of the night, Troy’s nervous shaking only worsened, but he knew this was the place.
And Abed almost complained about how casual it was. They weren’t at Disneyland. They weren’t on the beach. They weren’t at an expensive, high-end restaurant where the plates are the size of a coaster. They weren’t even on a balcony. They were on the patio outside a Chili's.
But, as he saw Troy melt when recalling their history, warming his heart enough to forget about the freezing evening weather, suddenly the optics didn’t matter. As his partner’s eyes twinkled in the moonlight, with the string lights above the tables only adding to the soft glow, he was sure of his answer. It wasn’t what he pictured, but it was Troy, and he couldn’t possibly say no to those eyes.