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"Just one scandal can be a mortal wound for an idol."
He was well aware of that fact already.
Ai, his mother in this life, was living proof of that. And even now, he could easily recall her body growing colder by the minute as he sat beside her, feeling terribly useless for someone who was a doctor in his past life. To say he is haunted by the memory of it was an understatement. A myriad of emotions revolving around that incident was present that Aqua couldn't easily come to terms with. He didn't feel the need to resolve these emotions even if he wished to achieve a happy ending for himself that he knew he did not deserve. He'd prefer to use it as fuel to the fire and never look back.
And trying to go back to the way it was before was nothing but a far-fetched dream.
Or Aqua thinks it should unmistakenly be.
But, a shining and honest existence from the days of being with Ai decides otherwise.
Kana Arima, the girl he met the first time he acted, brought so many things back up to the surface that he lost on that day. Her refreshingly sharp words allowed him to relax and put his guard down in more ways than others could have done. Somehow, it was the needed reality check in this world full of lies. The way she brightly shined when she was under the spotlight brought the feeling of how the warmth of the sun seeped into his skin on a peaceful day. And right at that moment, the Aqua of the past and present did not matter. He was just Aqua.
In the end, he found himself allowing his gaze to linger on her to find peace when he needed a break. After all, it wasn't like he was going to stop with his plans.
"I'm sorry, but he's already dead."
But what if there was no need for revenge, and the opportunity to finally allow himself to be happy presented itself?
"Aqua, you think it's time to break up with me."
Maybe, it was time to end the lies.
"Isn't that fine? The freedom to love is a fundamental human right."
Maybe, he could finally entertain the thought of a normal life with the person who allowed Gorou and Aqua to co-exist.
"Do you think Kana-chan will do well as an idol?"
"Then, you can no longer go on dates like that."
"Just one scandal can be a mortal wound for an idol."
He was aware of that fact already. But, for a moment, he ignored the obvious in favor of his selfishness to achieve happiness with Kana. And until now, whenever he remembers Ai, Aqua realizes he couldn't subject Kana to the same fate as his mother. So, no matter how it hurts both parties, he has to protect her by keeping his distance.
In the end, there was still another route he could take.
Living a half-truth won't be too bad. Maybe changing directions is what Gorou and Aqua really needed. If he makes enough effort, one day, the lies will become the truth. What could he possibly lose from pursuing Akane? For sure, the future on that side has a better fate than being with Kana, right? It should be because he is betting on time to make things better.
After all, everything is falling into place.
"How could a dead person know her address? It's chronologically impossible."
But, of course, everything was nothing but an illusion he willingly placed himself after from the desire to be free. It wasn't over. It never was.
"Did I do something that makes you hate me that much?"
"You took a wrong turn, Aqua-kun."
The routes toward a happy ending were all blocked. Revenge without getting the people he cherishes involved was impossible. There wasn't any going back anymore.
Revenge was the only road he had a choice of taking alone.
"I'm sure Kana-chan became an idol for you."
Then, what was he supposed to do?
"She became an idol because you wished for it."
Stop...
"You brought her into this world, you know?"
He knew that pretty well. He was well aware of that fact. He doesn't need to hear that, especially when his mind was made up that he would only plunge further into this dark path of revenge.
"Please face her... even just a little."
He doesn't deserve her straight gaze. He decided to descend to hell. Aqua couldn't go back on his initial plans. In the first place, she shouldn't have anything to do with him anymore. It was best to stay clear of her and for him to focus on his goal.
He needs to have his revenge. He had so many things to do. He still needs to protect Ruby and make sure he covers her eyes from the things she hasn't found out yet.
He needs to focus.
"This is bad," Aqua heard Miyako say, snapping him out of his trance. "I still haven't seen her around yet."
"What's wrong?" He asked while all at the same time peeking at Miyako's open laptop. The words that caught his eye made his heart stop. It felt like a bucket of cold water was suddenly splashed onto him.
And looking at him was Miyako with a grim expression.
Aqua was now at a crossroads.
Earlier, he felt one of his fears unraveling in front of him - the one that he accidentally spilled out to Mem-cho that one night she cornered him. If he didn't notice Miyako's expression, he wouldn't be able to calm down. He would have almost forgotten what Arima Kana is made out of.
The issue hangs in the air, and the situation hasn't changed. While Aqua wants to leave the rest to adults, a part of him can't. But he promised to stay away from her. At the same time, he wanted to protect her.
So, he makes a decision.
He sits down with Ruby.
Aqua tells Ruby his grand scheme to save Kana, and he watches Ruby's eyes burn with rage at hearing his plan to reveal their secret . Maybe, he wasn't stable enough. It could be desperation. It could be fear that they barely have enough time.
But he ends up spilling everything he kept a secret.
It was odd timing to reveal everything to Ruby given the time constraint. Those ruby-colored eyes filled with anger grew dimmer and dimmer with confusion. Somehow, it broke his heart, not knowing what to do for her.
The clock is ticking. Aqua rises up from his seat.
"I have to go. Let's talk about it again when I get back."
He leaves the house with Ruby sitting down in shock while trying to process all the information he dumped on her.
Aqua has done it.
Soon, the secret will be out. Aqua only has to wait for the Weekly Entertainment True Story's release date. A part of him rejoices, knowing this new path can lead to a better plan for revenge.
But he's tired.
A lot of things have happened in the past week, and he still has to deal with more when he comes home. He left Ruby hanging as he rushed towards the meeting place with the reporter. There's still so much left to do after that even.
He only wants to rest .
Kana's bright smile flashed in his mind out of nowhere, and the sudden thought of basking around the sun's warm presence made his tired mind let go of all the thinking. Even Goro and little Aqua's voices were drowned.
It wasn't long before his knees gave out on him, and a choked sob escaped his lips. The hand that was holding onto their house's doorknob released its hold to bring itself to his mouth in an attempt to stop himself from making any noise. The tears started to flow, and he could only shut his blue eyes closed as emotions rushed through his body.
He was so, so tired.
And, in those moments of vulnerability, he just wanted to see the brightest star that he protected.