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"So let me get this straight," Rei said. "This strange little girl in your house, she fell from the sky? Like she was flying?"
"I mean, clearly, not very well, but yes, that's about right," Usagi said.
All of the Sailor Senshi had gathered around the low table in Rei's bedroom at Hikawa Shrine for a council of war--okay, so calling it 'war' was probably overkill, but Usagi was in no mood to be generous after her own home had been invaded by this obnoxious interloper. This may not be a typical battle, but this was serious business, and there was no question she was going to put a stop to it--once she figured out exactly what that was.
"Okay, so I'm recording what we know thus far," Ami said, ever the organized one. She had her handheld Mercury supercomputer out and was typing furiously as she spoke. "One: she claims her name is Usagi Tsukino. Two: she looks like Usagi as a child--"
"Except my hair isn't pink!" Usagi corrected hastily.
"--Three: she appears to possess some sort of mind control powers over Usagi's parents and brother," Ami finished, ignoring Usagi's interjection.
"But how did she know where I live?" Usagi moaned.
"Do you think she followed you home?" Minako said.
"No, because her family was already brainwashed by the time Usagi and Luna got there," Makoto pointed out.
Rei scrunched up her nose. "It can't possibly be a coincidence, though. She went there deliberately, probably to mess with Usagi."
"I agree," Ami said. She pressed a button with a flourish, and was rewarded a moment later with a triumphant beeping as the screen began flashing some sort of response. "Okay! Well, that explains a lot, actually."
"What? What what did you discover?" Usagi demanded, craning her neck to try and read upside down from the other side of the table.
"According to my calculations, the most likely explanation is that this girl is some sort of cuckoo," Ami said.
"She's certainly crazy, all right," Usagi said.
"Not that kind of cuckoo, idiot!" Rei said. "You mean like a hotogisu, don't you?"
"Really?" Makoto wrinkled her nose. "That bird is famous for its elegance and beautiful song. That doesn't sound anything like this girl."
"Well, I can't speak to that, but the hotogisu is one of the many species in the cuckoo family that practice brood parasitism," Ami said.
"And that means?" Minako said.
"They rely on others to raise their young for them," Ami said. "It would certainly explain why she latched onto Usagi's family, and why she has the ability to make them believe she's always been there."
"Oh, I think I read about that in one of my comics!" Rei said.
"That's... pretty scary, actually," Makoto said thoughtfully. "Like something out of a horror film."
"So her parents abandoned her?" Usagi said. She was surprised at how much the prospect angered her. Even obnoxious brats didn't deserve that kind of treatment! "That's terrible!"
"Well, we don't have all the facts yet, so this is purely conjecture for now," Ami said. "She did say she was looking for the Silver Crystal, right?"
"Yeah, how did she know about that, anyway?" Minako said. "The Silver Crystal is a Moon Kingdom thing."
"Maybe she's from the Moon Kingdom, then!" Makoto said.
"That would explain why she's got the device that looks like a floating Luna head," Ami noted sagely.
"But that doesn't make any sense! The Moon Kingdom doesn't exist anymore!" Usagi said. "We saw it being destroyed..."
Everyone shuddered simultaneously at the reminder and the conversation ground to a halt.
"Maybe she traveled from the past like Luna and Artemis did?" Minako said, after a sufficiently respectful pause.
"No, because Luna would have recognized her," Usagi said.
Rei snickered. "Well, in that case, since we've ruled out the past and the present, then she must be from the future!"
Everyone had a good laugh at that, except for Ami, who was once again hunched over her supercomputer and typing at an impressive speed.
"Ami? Wait a minute, Ami, that was a joke--" Rei said uneasily. "Surely, you can't be serious--"
BEEP. "According to this, the probability of her being from the future is 92%!" Ami said. "That's practically confirmation!"
"Wow, your computer really can do anything, Ami," Makoto said. Ami beamed.
"Wait, wait, wait," Usagi said. "There's just one problem, Ami: time travel is completely impossible!"
"When you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," Ami said, in a sing-song tone as if she were quoting someone Usagi ought to recognize.
"But time travel doesn't exist!" Usagi protested.
"That we know of," Makoto said quietly. "I mean, didn't you use the Silver Crystal to--"
There was a squeak and a muffled thump from the other side of the screen and everyone tensed as if preparing for a fight.
"What was that?" Minako said aloud when it became clear nothing dramatic was happening.
Rei shrugged. "Probably just Gramps fooling around again," she said, and everyone visibly relaxed.
"Yeah, yeah, I get your point," Usagi said to Makoto, picking up the conversation where they'd left off. "But this girl can't have used the Silver Crystal to travel back in time or else she wouldn't be looking for it in the first place. So what's her deal?"
"We could try asking her," Ami said.
"She won't talk to me!"
"She might talk to Mamoru, though, right?" Minako said. "You said she liked him?"
"Yeah, well..." Usagi shifted uncomfortably on her cushion. "I don't need her brainwashing him too! Once was more than enough, thank you very much!"
"Do you have any better ideas?" Rei said.
That was the problem. She really didn't. Usagi sighed and shook her head. "All right, all right, fine, we'll talk to her again. But there's one thing that's bothering me--even if you're right, and she is from the future somehow, if all she wants is the Silver Crystal, why pretend to be me? She was really insistent that her name was Usagi Tsukino and I don't think she was lying about that part."
"Maybe she's your descendant or something!" Minako said brightly. "She's not you, she's your namesake! Honestly, that would explain a lot!"
"Wouldn't meeting your own ancestor create a paradox or something?" Makoto said.
"Thus far, the space-time continuum has proven more resilient than you'd expect," Ami said. "So maybe not."
Usagi buried her face in her hands and slumped face-down onto the table. The only man she'd ever think of marrying was Mamoru, and this was all too much for her to process right now. "My head hurts," she whined.
"Quit complaining," Rei said, elbowing Usagi in the side. "Don't you know we're here to help?"
"That's right! We'll get to the bottom of this in no time!" Makoto said, offering a more companionable pat on Usagi's opposite shoulder.
The shoji screen leading outside to the engawa slid open, and everyone tensed again, but it was only Rei's grandfather bearing a tray full of tea and snacks. "Refreshments, ladies?"
Usagi clapped her hands in delight. "Refreshments! Yay! Just the thing I need to pick me up after an awful day!"
"There's no time for that!" Rei snapped, yanking Usagi's elbow and tugging her out the door. "We've got work to do!"
"Waaah, Rei, you're so mean to me--"
"Sorry," Ami said to Rei's grandfather as the other senshi made a more dignified exit after the others. "Maybe some other time?"
Somehow despite all the manhandling, Usagi had managed to grab all of the proffered and stuff them into her mouth at once. "T'ANK YOU FO' THE FOO'!" she called over her shoulder before Rei pulled her around the corner and out of sight.
Rei's grandfather stared after the five girls in bewilderment...which changed to pure panic moments later when Rei's shout of "Gramps! Are you okay?" floated over the buildings--followed a few seconds later by "Hey, wait a minute--"
The not-grandfather said a very rude word that her mother would have been surprised that her daughter knew, dropped the disguise, and high-tailed it out of there before Usagi and her friends could come after her. Stupid Usagi! How dare she and her friends foil her cunning plan to knock them out by offering them tea laced with sleeping powder so she could take the Silver Crystal from them?
They had no idea she was eavesdropping outside, or else they wouldn't have spoken so freely, but they were all so dumb, they'd gotten the whole coo--cuckoo business completely backwards! Her parents hadn't abandoned her for someone else to raise, they were good people who loved her very much, and she was going straight home to them soon as she found the Silver Crystal. Even if it was going to take longer than she'd thought, she wouldn't linger in this miserable place with these miserable people any more than she absolutely had to! Hmmph! Served them all right!
Still, if Mamoru asked her... she might actually let her guard down long enough to confess the truth. He was dating Usagi, which meant he had terrible taste, but there was something about him that felt warm and safe, just like the parents she'd left behind... And he liked her! She would never brainwash him because she'd never need to!
Hmm. Maybe Usagi and her friends were smarter than she'd given them credit for. That plan might have actually worked.
In the meantime, she was going to have run a lot faster, because she was pretty sure they were gaining on her.