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The Asset's gaze drifted around the dark room of the lab, almost bored. The same thoughts ruminated in its mind.
It knew what it was. It knew what its purpose was. But still, it wanted more.
It wanted more than this cold, dark room. It wanted more than the everyday routine of technicians running tests and having to prove itself day after day, after day. It was tired of flashing lights, and programming, and getting new parts, and taking away parts, and updates, and- all of it.
It used to have something to take away that boredom. It used to have something to entertain it, something to do. Something to obsess over.
It knew it was wrong. It knew what he did to them was wrong; taking away its choice, taking away any autonomy over its own feelings. And it hated him for it. Still… it found itself missing it.
Missing the feeling of having something to do. Of having something purely in its control. Something to take apart and put back together again, something to love it.
The Asset knew what he had done to it wasn't love - inputting a coding that would force it to obsess over him - James had told it time and time again that what that man did wasn't love. James had repeated to it that love was a mutual decision, something between two equal, consenting parties.
Asset had tried insisting to him that it was equal, that it had just as much control over the situation. James told it that it was wrong.
Told the Assest that what he did was a form of manipulation; even if at the time it had seemed like it was in control.
In the end, the Asset knew James was right. He told it that Marcus could have stopped it at any time; he just chose not to. He made himself into the victim.
It knew he was right… still it found itself missing it. It missed the thrill of it, it missed the sneaking around, the secrecy of it. Most of all it missed the pure... obsession.
Sure, thoughts of him had consumed its mind at the time. Preventing it from doing its job, hindering the experiment. At the same time, though, it was something to do. Asset found itself hating having a clear mind all the time. It had all the time in the world to think, and think, and think.
It hated it. There were too many things to think about, it missed the simplicity of obsessing over him. It… it missed… him.
The realization made it grumble in distaste. It hated it. It hated that part of it that missed him. It wanted to squash that part of it, stomp away that thought until it was nothing but dust beneath its metallic foot.
It crossed its arms over its chest, seething in silence. It knew that it could only feel what it was allowed to- it knew that. It knew that its thoughts and feelings were nothing but some fragments of expertly inputted code.
It was nothing but wires, springs, gears, and plates of metal under this hyper realistic but artificial flesh. It knew that. And it hated it.
It hated that its thoughts weren't its own, that it wouldn't even have thoughts if it weren't for the technicians that made it.
It clenched its synthetic teeth; it didn't hate the technicians that made it. Asset wasn't fond of them, yes, but it only hated one person. And that person would never lay a finger on it again.
…but what if it wanted him to? What if, despite all the horrid things he had done, a small part of it still wanted that? Was that wrong? Was it wrong to want something to do? Something to fill in the empty slots between tests and updates?
Was it wrong to miss it?
To miss the feeling of his soft skin under Asset's hypersensitive touch. The feeling of its lips against his. The control… the simple thoughts… the obsession… all of it.
It wanted it. It wanted it all. And it hated that it wanted this. Wanted him again. But it wasn't him that it wanted, was it?
It was the feeling he gave it that it craved. It wasn't him. It was never about him. Him and his stupid eyes, and his stupid mouth, and his-
It growled, artificial vocal cords vibrating. This was stupid. All of it was nonsense.
It shouldn't want this. It shouldn't want him. It didn't want him. It didn't want him.
This is what Asset had meant. It hated these thoughts, it hated having the capability to even have these thoughts.
A beeping outside the door, a small flashing light beside the number pad, alerted Asset that someone was coming. It breathed a sigh of relief, finally something to do.
In entered a bland, unremarkable human male with a clipboard and they held back a groan. Yes, something to do, but still so boring.