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Jeno sat on the sofa in the dorms, his hands clasped tightly around his head as he pulled at his hair. His breaths were coming in short gasps, and his heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. He could feel the panic rising within him, threatening to overwhelm him completely.
Mark had seen Jeno have panic attacks before, and he knew how difficult they were for him. He wanted to help, but he also knew that touching Jeno during a panic attack was never a good idea. He stood a few feet away, watching as his friend struggled.
"Jeno," Mark said softly, trying to get his attention. "Jeno, you need to stop pulling at your hair. You're going to hurt yourself."
But Jeno didn't seem to hear him. He was lost in his own thoughts, consumed by the panic that had taken hold of him.
Mark didn't know what to do. He wanted to help Jeno, but he didn't want to make things worse. He took a few steps closer, hoping that maybe he could calm Jeno down without touching him.
"Jeno," he said again, louder this time. "You're going to be okay. Just breathe with me. Remember that thing I taught you last week? Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, exhale for eight."
He demonstrated the breathing exercise for Jeno, hoping that he would follow along. After a few moments, Jeno's breathing seemed to slow down a bit.
Mark continued to talk to him softly, telling him that he was safe, that he was loved, that he was not alone. He didn't touch Jeno, but he sat next to him on the sofa, close enough that he could offer comfort if needed.
After a few minutes, Jeno's panic attack started to subside. His breathing evened out, and he stopped pulling at his hair. Mark breathed a small sigh of relief.
"Thank you," Jeno whispered softly, his eyes closed.
Mark watched as Jeno slowly lowered his hands from his head, taking deep breaths as he did so. He could see the strands of hair that had come loose from Jeno's scalp, tangled around his shaking fingers.
Mark tried his best to hide his own emotions as he saw the damage Jeno had done to himself. He knew that pulling at his hair was a coping mechanism for Jeno during his panic attacks, but it broke his heart to see his friend hurting himself.
"Jeno, you need to take care of yourself," Mark said gently. "I know it's hard, but hurting yourself isn't the answer."
Jeno nodded, his eyes still closed as he tried to calm himself down. Mark knew that Jeno was still in a vulnerable state, so he sat next to him, placing a hand on his back in a comforting gesture.
"Are you feeling better?" Mark asked softly, hoping to distract Jeno from the damage he had done to himself.
Jeno opened his eyes, taking a deep breath before nodding. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said, a small smile on his face.
Mark felt relieved that Jeno was feeling better, but he knew that he needed to keep an eye on him. Panic attacks were a regular occurrence for Jeno, and he didn't want his friend to hurt himself again.
"Hey, why don't we watch a movie or something?" Mark suggested, hoping to take Jeno's mind off his anxiety. "I heard the guys talking about a new action movie that just came out."
Jeno nodded, grateful for the distraction. They spent the rest of the night watching the movie, with Mark keeping a watchful eye on Jeno, making sure he was calm, and didn't hurt himself again.
As the night wore on, Jeno's panic attack became a distant memory, and Mark felt grateful that he had been able to help his friend through it. He knew that there would be more difficult times ahead, but he was determined to be there for Jeno every step of the way.
★★★
Days turned into weeks, and Jeno seemed to be doing better. He was still having panic attacks, but much less often. Mark was relieved to see his friend's progress, but he also knew that it was an ongoing battle. He kept a watchful eye on Jeno, always ready to offer comfort and support.
And an ongoing battle it was. Jeno had a bad panic attack in the practice rooms, and this time, it was worse than ever before. Mark could feel the tears burning in his own eyes as he watched Jeno struggle, pulling at his hair and his nails digging into his scalp.
He tried to talk to Jeno, to calm him down, but it seemed like nothing was working. Jeno was lost in his own world of fear and anxiety, unable to hear Mark's voice or understand his words.
He wanted to reach out and physically stop Jeno from hurting himself, but he knew that touching him during a panic attack had never ended well. So instead, he talked to him, trying to offer comfort and reassurance.
"It's okay, Jeno," Mark said softly. "You're not alone. You're going to be okay."
Jeno couldn't speak, but Mark could see the pain in his eyes. He wished he could do more to help, but he knew that sometimes, all he could do was be there for his friend.
Eventually, the panic attack subsided, leaving Jeno exhausted and drained. Mark helped him to his feet, supporting him as they walked out of the practice rooms.
They didn't speak on the way back to the dorms, but Mark could feel the weight of the day on his shoulders. He knew that Jeno was struggling, and he didn't know how to help him.
When they arrived back at the dorms, Mark sat with Jeno on the sofa, holding his hand in his own. He could feel Jeno's fingers trembling, and he wished he could take away his pain.
"I'm here for you, Jeno," Mark said softly. "Whatever you need, I'm here."
Jeno didn't say anything, but he squeezed Mark's hand in response. Mark knew that it wasn't much, but it was a start. They sat there in silence, Jeno leaning against Mark's shoulder, both of them lost in their own thoughts.
Mark didn't know what the future held, but he knew that he would always be there for Jeno, no matter what. He would do whatever it takes to help his friend through the tough times, even if it meant sitting in silence on the sofa, holding his hand.
Eventually, Mark took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to say. He knew that it was time to have a difficult conversation with Jeno, one that he had been putting off for far too long.
"Jeno, we need to talk," Mark said, gently nudging his friend's shoulder.
Jeno stirred, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"It's about your panic attacks," Mark said, his voice soft but firm. "You can't keep going through this alone. You need to get help."
Jeno frowned, looking away. "I don't need help," he said. "I can handle it."
Mark shook his head. "No, you can't," he said. "You're hurting yourself, Jeno. You're literally pulling out your hair. You can't keep doing this to yourself."
Jeno looked up at Mark, his eyes tired and defeated. "I don't know what to do," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You need to see a therapist," Mark said, his tone gentle but insistent. "They can help you learn how to manage your anxiety, how to cope with your panic attacks. It's not a weakness to ask for help, Jeno. It's a strength."
Jeno was silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on his hands. Mark could see the conflict written on his friend's face, the fear and uncertainty warring with the need for help.
Finally, Jeno looked up at Mark, his eyes filled with exhaustion. "I'll think about it," he said.
Mark nodded, relieved that Jeno was at least considering the idea. It was honestly more than he was expecting, considering every other time he had brought the subject up, Jeno had shut it down instantly. He opened his mouth to say more, to offer more encouragement and support, but when he looked up, he realised that Jeno had fallen asleep.
He sat there for a moment, watching Jeno as he slept. He couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness and helplessness wash over him. He wanted to do more for his friend, to offer him more than just words.
But for now, all he could do was be there for him. He sat there in silence, watching Jeno sleep, feeling the weight of his own emotions pressing down on him.
"I'll always be here for you, Jeno," Mark whispered, his words barely audible. "No matter what."
★★★
The next day, Jeno woke up feeling slightly better than the day before. He could still feel the exhaustion weighing him down, but the anxiety and panic had subsided for the moment.
He made his way to the living room, where Mark was already sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. Jeno hesitated for a moment, unsure. But then, he took a deep breath and approached Mark, sinking down onto the couch beside him.
"Hey," Mark said, looking up from his phone. "How are you feeling?"
Jeno shrugged, not trusting himself to speak. He could feel the anxiety building in his chest again, threatening to overwhelm him. He sat forward and ran his hands through his hair, harshly, but Mark quickly reached out and grabbed his hands, holding them still.
"Don't," Mark said firmly. "Jeno, come on. You don't need to do that."
Jeno tried to pull his hands away, but Mark's grip was too strong. He looked up at the elder, his eyes pleading. "Mark hyung," he whispered. "I need a hug."
Mark's expression softened, and he released Jeno's hands, pulling him close instead. Jeno leaned into the embrace, wrapping his arms around Mark's waist, and resting his head on Mark's chest. He could feel Mark's heartbeat beneath his ear, steady and strong, and it helped to calm him.
They stayed like that for a long time, just holding onto each other. Jeno felt a sense of comfort and safety wash over him, and for the first time in a long time, he felt like things might be okay.
Eventually, they pulled apart, but Mark kept a hand on the back of Jeno's shoulder, offering him a reassuring smile.
"I'm always here for you, Jeno."
Jeno nodded, feeling a sense of gratitude and warmth towards Mark. He knew that he still had a long road ahead of him, and that seeking help for his anxiety was going to be a difficult process. But with Mark by his side, he felt like he might just be able to make it through.
★★★
It was usual for Dream to hop onto an instagram live after a concert, and today was no exception. During the live, Mark kept a watchful eye on Jeno, who was sitting on the other end of the couch. Jeno was trying his best to appear relaxed and engaged, but Mark could see the telltale signs of anxiety creeping in. He could see Jeno's fingers twitching and fidgeting in his lap, and he noticed the way that he kept running his hands through his hair, over and over again.
Mark knew that this was a coping mechanism that Jeno used when he was feeling stressed or anxious, and he didn't want Jeno to hurt himself again or let it escalate too far. Especially not on camera. Shuddering at just the thought, he came up with a plan.
"Hey, Chenle," Mark said, catching the attention of the younger. "Can you switch seats with me? I want to sit next to Jeno."
Chenle looked a bit confused, but he quickly got up and moved to the other side of the room. Mark took his place, sitting right next to Jeno. Jeno looked over at him, a bit surprised, but he didn't say anything.
Mark leaned in close to Jeno and whispered, "You okay?"
Jeno nodded, but Mark could tell that he was lying. So, he reached out and gently took Jeno's hand in his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Jeno looked down at their intertwined fingers, and then back up at Mark, his eyes full of exhaustion.
"Sorry," Jeno whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the members chatting in the live.
For a brief second, he wondered what exactly it was Jeno was apologising for. Mark just smiled at him, giving his hand another squeeze. They sat there like that for the rest of the live, with Mark's hand firmly holding onto Jeno's. Jeno's anxiety seemed to subside a bit, and Mark felt a sense of pride and contentment wash over him. He knew that he couldn't fix everything for Jeno, but he could be there for him in moments like these, and that was enough. It would have to be.
★★★
Jeno had been feeling off all day, and the anxiety had been slowly building up inside him. By the time they got back to the dorms, he was a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode.
As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, the panic attack hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt like he couldn't breathe, and his chest was tightening. His heart was racing so fast that he was sure it was going to burst out of his chest. He tried to take deep breaths, but his lungs felt like they were on fire.
Jisung noticed Jeno's distress and reached out to put a comforting hand on his arm. And as soon as contact was made, Jaemin was there, pulling Jisung away.
"Never touch him when he's having a panic attack!" Jaemin snapped, his voice sharp with worry and concern.
But the damage had already been done. Jeno's panic attack was only getting worse, and he felt like he was spiralling out of control.
It was as if the touch had set off a chain reaction in his body, and he felt like he was suffocating. His heart was pounding so hard that he thought it was going to burst out of his chest, and his breaths were coming in short, rapid gasps.
He started to pace back and forth, running his hands through his hair and pulling at the roots. He felt like he was on the brink of losing control, like he was going to pass out at any moment, and the tears were streaming down his face uncontrollably. It was a terrifying experience for Jeno. He felt like he was trapped in his own body.
Mark, who had been in his room, heard Jaemin's shout and rushed out to see what was going on. He saw Jeno pacing frantically in the kitchen, and he knew that he needed to act fast.
"Jeno," Mark said, his voice calm and soothing. "Look at me, Jeno. Focus on my voice."
Jeno's eyes darted over to Mark, and he tried to focus on his voice, but it was so hard. His mind was racing, and he felt like he was losing control.
"Take deep breaths, Jeno," Mark said. "In through your nose, out through your mouth. Slowly, Jeno. You can do this."
Mark's voice was a lifeline for Jeno, and he clung to it with everything he had. He started to take slow, deep breaths, in through his nose, out through his mouth. It was hard, but he tried his best.
Gradually, the panic attack started to subside. Jeno's breathing evened out, and his heart rate slowed down. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked over at Mark, who was cautious stare was still locked onto him.
"Thank you," Jeno said, his voice hoarse and quiet, as he squeezed his eyes shut again.
Mark just smiled at him. "You're okay, Jeno. It's okay."
★★★
Mark noticed that even a while after the attack, Jeno still couldn't stop running his hands through his hair. He knew that it was a self-destructive behaviour that Jeno used as a coping mechanism, and he wanted to help him break the habit.
"Jeno, please," Mark said softly, taking Jeno's hand in his own and gently prying it away from his hair. "You're hurting yourself."
Jeno's eyes were red and puffy from crying, and his whole body was still trembling. He looked up at Mark with a mixture of fear and exhaustion, but he didn't resist when Mark continued to hold his hand and guide him to the couch.
"Please, Jeno," Mark said again, his voice filled with concern. "I know it's hard, but you need to try to stop doing this. It's not good for you."
Jeno nodded weakly, but his hands still shook as Mark held them and brushed off the strands of hair he had ripped from his head. Mark continued to sit down beside him, gently rubbing circles on his back and whispering soothing words to him.
"It's okay, Jeno. I'm here. You're safe," Mark said softly, and Jeno leaned into him, his head resting on Mark's shoulder.
"I need help," He hurriedly whispered.
Mark's heart swelled with relief at the words, and couldn't help the thankful sigh that escaped him. He had been worried about his friend for a long time, and he knew that Jeno needed professional help to deal with his panic attacks.
"Thank you, Jeno, I'm so proud of you for saying that," Mark said, his voice filled with emotion. "I'll help you find someone to talk to. We'll get through this together, okay?"
Jeno nodded, his head still resting on Mark's shoulder. He felt a sense of relief wash over him as he finally admitted to himself and to Mark that he needed help. He knew that he couldn't keep going like this, and he was grateful to have Mark's support and encouragement.
They sat there in silence for a while longer, just listening to Jeno's uneven breaths and feeling the weight of the moment. Mark knew that they had a long road ahead of them, but he was filled with hope and determination to help his friend through it. Together, they would face Jeno's panic attacks and work towards a brighter future.