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Mourning mountain

Chapter 2: To die with you

Notes:

Okay I have no idea how I'm going to write this. I just have some quick sentences in my head and the way I want this to end, for the rest we'll see. Improvisation sometimes gives beautiful things.

Ps: I'm adding this note halfway through writing just to remind you that this does contain deaths, many deaths. Maybe read the tags so you know what to expect. I advice you to not however, keep the surprise.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Seven months of work. Seven months of running and hiding and running and hiding some more. You'd think by now, things must be calmer. The attacks more expected. Repetitive. Well, it seems the Zoldycks have a lot of imagination, because not only do they never settle for a certain rythme, place or type of attacks, they only got more dangerous and quick. Killua was starting to run out of ideas. Bartolomeo had for long stopped serving, the money he had made was no longer neither. A bunch of other names had followed, gaining the medias and the family of assassins' attention by different means at least five times, until the Zoldycks had identified Killua's operational mode and the ex assassin presumed it was of no use anymore.

 

Everytime Killua got tired, and everytime Gon started to understand how the Zoldycks planned to attack next, something unexpected happened. They were trying to catch them by surprise, going after them so quickly that they sometimes had to go from a country to another without even spending a night there. Often, Killua would have to carry Gon around. He had been trained to not sleep for days, Gon was quite resistant as well, but he had limits. They both had limits, only Killua's were harder to reach, much to the Zoldycks' misfortune - in this peculiar situation, yes, in other circumstances, Kikyo would've been crying and praising her child - . It was a constant fight. Each Gon and Killua had for mission to make sure the other stayed aware. They couldn't let their guards down, not yet. At this point, the smallest error was sealing Gon's destiny, certainly a close to come, painful and agonizingly long death.

 

The only thing that kept Killua going, more than his will for liberty, was Gon. He smiled at him, acted as if everything was okay and yet still supported him anyways he could. Not once in those months had Gon flickered on his position, hopped he hadn't gotten in this situation or changed his opinion, not even when he was severely hurt, not even when he had to hide inside of furniture for hours, not even when death stood at his bedside.

 

Not even when Killua killed his own little brother in order to create a conflict between the Zoldycks.

 

At this point, anything else was hopeless. The only way to turn the Zoldycks against each other was for one of them, in this case Kalluto, to go, and another, in this case Illumi, to be blamed. It wasn't a small matter either. Killua's brother was a Zoldyck, over all. It took a while to get to him. Fortunately for Killua, Kalluto was trying to find him too. Not to kill Gon, just because he wanted his brother back. Killua used his feelings to catch and end him.

 

Did he feel bad? A bit, yes. But overall, he knew the death of a Zoldyck was more of a great thing. He diminished the extent of their empire, the number of deaths they'd make every day. He freed his brother's poor soul, to perhaps a better place. But, if for Killua Kalluto was nothing more than a Zoldyck, for Gon he was a child. He lectured Killua about how he could've proceeded differently and Killua took it in silence, but the truth is, they both knew there was no other possible outcome. That's why Gon got over it in less time than you'd think. As long as he could stay with Killua, a few lives could go, it didn't matter.

 

Gon walked through the streets, the young Zushi by his side. It had been almost a month since the Zoldycks' last attack.

 

Gon and Killua didn't know much about the situation or how long they got rid of the Zoldycks for, but if one thing was obvious, it was that Killua successfully made his family believe Illumi was responsible for their youngest's death. If Illumi or Milluki was the one to die, this probably would've taken very important measurements. However, Killua knew for fact that his family didn't care much about their youngest child. They would certainly be frustrated, because killing Kalluto implied an act of rebellion, but not actually because they lost a family member.

 

The Phantom Troup, which Kalluto had joined a few weeks before his death, knew most of the situation - or, well, what the Zoldycks thought of the situation. They were now going after Illumi, information given to the two boys by their friend Kurapika, who still tried to avenge his deceased clan.

 

Their lives were getting back on track. Killua and Gon had regained control of the situation. While the Zoldycks were focused on their recent drama, Killua had successfully erased all traces of his and Gon's existence. They changed their phone numbers, flew to another continent, stopped sending cards to Aunt Mito and got many fake identities in between which they'd switch, creating a whole backstory for each one of them, making it all coherent and learning them all to the tip of their fingers. Easy things to do that would make it a lot harder for Killua's family to spot them. Things they would've done a lot earlier if they were given the time to.

 

This was supposed to be their respite, their moment of calm. This last month had been so peaceful: cuddles and free time, laughter and childishness, a lot of sweet nothings whispered left and right, a lot of time and attention given to each of them by the other - just the thing that they had missed during this half-year of running away; and yet, something deeply inside Gon bothered him, and he couldn't help but worry everyday a bit more. He was uneasy, uncomfortable. It had nothing to do with Killua. He was sweet as always, and Gon loved him much more than anyone else. He did not regret running away and hiding for him - for them. But he really couldn't help but feel uncomfortable.

 

" - It can't be Illumi, nor any of my family members. Killua had reassured him, when he had finally dared to share his doubts, which he rarely did. "

 

And even if Gon wanted to believe Killua, he couldn't. However, in fear of making Killua doubt of the blind trust his boyfriend put upon him, Gon didn't say a word about it again, and when he ran into Zushi at a local store, he decided to follow Killua's advice and relax.

 

Zushi guided Gon through the land towards the hotel where supposedly they'd find Wing-Sama. It was deep into the forest, in the mountains.

 

Everytime he walked past an intersection or a crossroad, a voice in his head advised Gon to run as far as he could. His body automatically moved farther and farther away from his friend every now and then. Gon had to walk closer once he noticed it. There were so many obvious signs that this could go wrong, and Gon saw them perfectly, but he wondered if he wasn't being paranoid. He wondered if the months he spent hidden didn't change him forever. He decided that Killua was probably right, and he walked past his instincts alongside Zushi.

 

" - So, how is Killua doing? Zushi said. His voice sounded slightly different, probably due puberty that he was now reaching, Gon thought.

- He's a bit tired. He responded. Do you want to go back and get him. Zushi's face stayed completely neutral.

- No, don't worry. We're already halfway there, there's no need to go back when we can go see him later. "

 

Halfway there? Gon thought. They'd been walking for almost an hour already. It was almost time for dinner, and the sun was starting to set. It was freezing, and Gon had a bad resistance to cold climates.

 

" - Okay. He settled for answering, assuming he was overdramatizing the situation again.

- What's up with him? Zushi asked, genuinely worried for his friend. Gon laughed awkwardly.

- It's a long story. He said. A lot of running, and hiding, and running... You know his family, they can be a bit complicated.

- Oh, right. Zushi said, as if he had forgotten about Killua's family. He must feel bad for what happened to Kalluto. "

 

That short conversation was followed by a long silence. Nobody said anything, but the ambiance changed: they both realized it, his error. Zushi never knew about Kalluto's death - in fact, Zushi never knew about Kalluto at all. While Gon tried to understand what was going on and how he was going to escape this situation, "Zushi" contemplated the different outcomes. Quickly, his choice was made: in a swift motion, he turned to Gon, stabbing him.

 


 

About an hour earlier, Killua got up. He slept the whole day, again. This week, he had been sleeping a lot. For the last five days, Gon would wake up early, go to the restaurant, get food, come back, force him to eat something, then grab something to do or read and sit by his side while he slept again. This morning, Gon gave him breakfast and decided to go for a walk. Killua wanted to follow him at first, but the look on his boyfriend's face was one that he almost never saw - that he nonetheless respected: Gon was overwhelmed, and he wanted to be alone.

 

And, even if Killua was fine with giving Gon his own space and time apart from him whenever he needed it, it had been almost ten hours since Gon left. With their current situation, Killua tended to be very protective over his lover, but this week, he had been particularly tired, and sometimes, he seemed to almost forget the troubles they were in. Of course, there was no way for him to completely relax in those circumstances, overall, and seeing how Gon was not back in time for dinner, Killua seriously started to freak out. To not arrange anything, Gon had left at the hotel his phone and hadn't borrowed any money or given to Killua any indications about where he was heading. Motivated to find his boyfriend, Killua got up from his bed and got ready for, what he felt like would be, hours of searching through the entire city and it's surroundings for his dear, one and only.

 

Killua walked, and walked, and walked for about twenty minutes before running into his first clue.

 

He was anxious, however it couldn't be seen. He was trained to not show any signs of strong emotions, so he didn't.

 

Killua thought asking people if they had seen his boyfriend would be useless in the heart of this big, crowded city, however, that was not even necessary, as a woman came to his side by herself.

 

" - Are you staying at the Big Dog hotel? She asked, out of nowhere.

- Uh... Yes. Killua answered, unsure and caught of guard. How do you know that?

- Oh, I once saw you and another boy walking there. She said. My husband owns it. Killua nodded.

- About the boy you saw me with, have you seen him today?

- I have, in the morning at first, leaving the hotel. She said. He also walked past me with little Zushi earlier. Killua's eyebrows raised.

- You know Zushi? He asked, faithful.

- I do! The woman answered truthfully. I met him this morning by accident. He's of good help.

- He's a friend of ours. Killua stated. Do you know where Zushi might've taken him?

- Probably to see Wing-Sama. "

 

As soon as he asked for it, Killua was given by the women directions. He was sent to an hotel near the beach - surprisingly close to the city. In only a few minutes of bus ride he made it there.

 

When Wing recognized Killua's voice, even if it had changed with time, he offered him to come inside. He was trying to make conversation but Killua seemed in a rush. He didn't even want to sit down.

 

" - Have you seen Gon? He asked before anything else, staying at the hotel room's doorstep.

- I haven't. Why?

- Do you know where Zushi could've taken him? I heard they met at the city. "

 

Wing took a second to assimilate and answer Killua.

 

" - Killua, Zushi is still at the tower, I'm only taking a short break from his teaching, nothing more. He never came here... Are you okay? "

 

Wing could've sworn Killua's face got paler on the spot (if that was possible).

 

" - Killua what's happening? He questioned, concerned. "

 

But before he could blink, Killua had left, leaving him there with his silence and his worries.

 


 

Back at the city, Killua had easily convinced the woman from earlier to follow him. He brought her to the side of a building, in an empty hallway where he menaced her, but no matter how many times he told her how he could chop off her head in a second, she didn't give any information. Not because she was resisting - in fact, she just didn't know anything about what was going on.

 

After only ten minutes, Killua gave up. He had tried everything, he believed she was innocent. He did kill her, however, to avoid getting in trouble.

 

It had been forty minutes ever since he left his and Gon's hotel room and his searches had for now been fruitless. He didn't mind looking for Gon for hours if it was necessary, but he definitely didn't feel like letting him die. In desperation, Killua ran around the city as fast as he could, using his nen to look at everything. And to his surprise, it was actually a good idea, because he did spot something: his bag, the one Gon had borrowed him that morning, at a coffee. The owner of the said coffee showed Killua the way Gon had left, into the mountains. From there and on, it would be easy following Gon's footsteps. Killua ran as fast as he could - he could swear he had never ran so fast.

 


 

When Killua was past half way up the mountain, he recognized to his right a silhouette. Unfortunately not Gon's, but one of the Zoldycks' butlers' he only knew too well. At an incredible speed, Killua arrived where they were.

 

There was no point in attacking. If ever anyone was hurt, Killua was sure Gon's life would be the price to pay, so he simply gave in. He stood there, facing his brother. On the floor next to Illumi sat Gon. He was attached, hands behind his back. His right hand was bleeding, it had been stabbed.

 

Of course Killua wouldn't be killed. He wasn't expecting any kind of hostilities towards him. However, he knew Gon could be taken down at any moment in front of him. So, when his brother told the butlers - and other stronger opponents present - to help him escort them to the top of the mountain, Killua refused to move until he was put by Gon's side. Following Killua's idea, the other refused to move as well, the difference being that he was hit and pushed to do so. Stubborn, he did not obey.

 

Once they were put side by side with the strict condition of not speaking, the walk started. Strangely, Illumi didn't seem to rush. He must've been very confident about his plan.

 

" - I know what you did to Kalluto. Illumi said after some silence. Gon's hand Killua was holding tensed up.

- What happened to Kalluto? He asked. He didn't sound concerned. If he had, his brother wouldn't have believed him.

- I know you're lying, you killed him. He answered. Killua knew for fact that his brother had no idea if he actually had killed Kalluto, he was just trying to force him into confessing.

- Oh, you're talking about that. Killua said. To be honest I had forgotten he was dead but okay. "

 

The silence after that was almost completely uninterrupted. Killua knew that Illumi had surely paid very high price for Kalluto's death. He felt himself smirking. Never had he seen his brother after a punishment. He usually was perfect in all he did, at least after Killua was born.

 

To their right stood a wall of butlers, behind them another one. In the front was Illumi. To their left, a cliff, way too steep for them to try anything. In this situation, anyone would've said they were done for. There was seemingly no issue - keyword, seemingly.

 

Once they were close to the top of the mountain, Illumi started detailing to them his plan, and how Killua would watch Gon's slow and painful execution before climbing into an helicopter and flying to Kukuro mountain by his side. The speech he had started, no matter how many explicit details he added, seemed to have absolutely no effect on Gon. It helped Killua stay calm, and it somewhat perturbed his brother.

 

There was no way Gon would let Illumi kill him, Killua knew it. If he was to be taken out of this world, Gon wanted it to be his own way.

 

At this point, they both knew what was going to happen. Killua rubbed Gon's hand with his thumb. They were just waiting to be high enough.

 

Once the helicopter could be heard by Gon and Killua, they exchanged a look. It was time, there was no need to wait anymore. With one last smile to each other, Killua detached Gon.

 

In a few minutes, every butler and company was on the floor, either by Gon or Killua's hands. Illumi stood there with a weird smile. He knew he could still scare Killua, he knew he could still use him. Killua knew it was true. However, they gave his brother no time to react. Gon jumped into Killua's arms, Killua who himself jumped into the emptiness of the cliff behind them.

 

For Killua and Gon, lives apart were not to exist. If Gon died, Killua would too, and if Killua died, Gon would that same way. That's something they had determined during that half year stuck together almost permanently. Unconsciously, Illumi and the other Zoldycks had brought them closer together than they had ever been before.

 

When Illumi arrived at the bottom of the cliff an hour later, where he expected to see nothing, or perhaps his brother and Gon if they hadn't ran away yet, he found a troup of hunters collecting what was left of the two deceased bodies. Illumi was surprised in a bad way. It was such a stupid thing to do, kill yourself when you could live. Yet that's exactly what Killua did.

 

By the sides of the equip stood a figure Illumi recognized. It was the man that Hisoka told him had initiated Gon and Killua to nen. He looked at Illumi, eyeing him up and down, as if he knew - which, maybe, he did.

 


 

Back at the Zoldycks', Illumi told his family what he had witnessed. However, all of them, Illumi included, refuses to believe Killua had actually died, and they resumed their searches for him. Searches which remained completely fruitless. Killua had passed, and all that they could ever find were some of his stuff the hotel threw away when his stay took an end.

 

The Hunter association who was now under Killua and Gon's corpses' possession, wondered what to do with them. Rumors flew around fairly quickly, catching the attention of even people that had never seen the two boys in their lives. In no time, every hunter Killua and Gon had met, that being at the exam, during missions or any other circumstances, stood and Netero's door. They wanted an explanation, which they were not given, only because the association itself had no idea of what happened in that mountain. That is, until Bisky, going through Gon and Killua's stuff after reaching out for the Big Dog hotel and getting them to send it, found something.

 

In the middle of Gon's stuff, she found a diary. Reading it, she discovered some of the things the two boys had been through for half a year. All of the stuff they had suffered in silence. All of his doubts, and all of their conversations that Gon wanted to remember. It seemed that the one in which they had decided that no matter what, they'd die together, was one of them.

 

Immediately, Gon and Killua's friends made scandale out of it. It was evidence for them that the two boys must be buried, or burned, or whatever, together. So it is what was done. Killua and Gon were buried together and put to rest in the Hunter association cemetery, in company of their friends who all came to assist. Even if Gon and Killua willingly jumped off of that cliff, their legal cause of death was set as murderer.

 

Their personal belongings were given to Mito, as well as Kurapika and Leorio, and some of them which Gon had specified in his book that he wanted other friends to have if ever he died, were distributed. The book itself was however conserved at the Hunter association.

 

For a long time, people wondered what would've happened if Gon never fell for Illumi's trap. They wondered if Gon and Killua truly would've stayed together forever. While some dismissed the idea, saying that they surely wouldn't have, and others defended their cause, saying that they wouldn't have died in vain, only one person seemed to truly understand what went through Gon and Killua's heads. It was Bisky, who had read the integrity of the Gon's journal, and who had decided which pages were to be exposed, and which were too personal.

 

For Gon and Killua, it wasn't a question of "forever". They didn't know if they'd be in love until the end of their lives, but they knew they'd live as long as they were in love. That's the exact reason they decided to pass away by each other's side. Because they'd rather die and stay together than live to discover if they can get over the pain of loss.

 

With time, Gon and Killua became, for most, nothing more than a misty memory. The only ones to remember them were their dear friends, as well as some kids who had been taught the story by their hunter parents as if it was nothing more than a fairy tail.

 

The only thing that was left of Gon and Killua, was their will to stay together forever, and these who knew them truly hopped they got to stick with each other wherever they are now.

Notes:

I'm sorry Kalluto 😭 you're my favorite Zoldyck but I had to-