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It’s Kirishima who tells him first. He's getting off of a long overnight patrol shift when he gets the call. He almost thinks he mishears because of his sleep-filled brain.
“Midoriya, he’s back.”
Izuku feels like he might cry. After months of Kacchan being away on an undercover mission, he can’t believe he can finally see his alpha.
“Since when? Where is he? How come no one called me, Kiri?”
“He’s not—Mido, he’s not okay. He was hit by some type of amnesia quirk. He’s been under observation for a week, but—”
“What?! What do you mean? Why didn’t anyone call me? I'm his mate! His fiancé for God's sake, Kiri!!” Izuku all but yells. His chest hurts, and he feels the tells of an anxiety attack coming on.
“The quirk he was hit with…we don’t know the extent of it, but he—Mido he doesn’t remember anything after UA,” Kirishima says, and Izuku can hear the pain in his voice.
Izuku’s heart aches. He feels it in his chest, in his stomach, all the way through to the core of his bones. He stands there frozen, except for his lips; they form around words as he breathes them, “He doesn’t remember?”
When he arrives at the agency and before he sees him, Kacchan’s smell hits him hard. He smells amazing. Like home and heat buried under surface notes of wood smoke and brown sugar. And for a split second Izuku thinks everything will be okay because they're mates and Kacchan will feel their bond. Izuku has always loved him, and he hopes Kacchan can smell the years-old longing all over him.
They just need to see each other, and they’ll be okay.
He all but crumbles to his knees when he’s met with Kacchan’s face of indifference. A whine almost escapes his throat as he inhales deeply and almost retches. And the smell now that they’re looking at each other—Kacchan smells different, tacky, and bitter where Izuku remembers sweetness and mouth-watering spice.
“Deku? What the fuck are you doing here? They let losers like you into this agency, too, or what?” Kacchan snarls.
“No. I—um just wanted to check on Kacchan. I heard you were back from your undercover mission,” Izuku stammers out weakly.
“Midoriya and you are actually—”
“Hero partners,” Izuku blurts out before Kirishima can say anything. “We have been since graduating from UA.”
Kacchan laughs, choppy and bordering on hysterical. “Hero partners? As if,” Kacchan says. There isn’t really any bite in his words, but Izuku knows now that where he is in his memories, they aren’t close yet, barely friends. He can tell by the look in his eyes but Izuku's whole body tenses regardless. He feels hurt, ashamed and desolate. Izuku thanks whatever god is out there that he remembered to reapply his scent patches, or else he’s sure his own smell of overwhelming distress would be perceived from miles away.
Izuku makes a choked, miserable sound in response; his hands spasming out like he’s going to touch Kacchan, but he stops himself before and steps back and away from both Kiri and Kacchan. He wraps his arms around himself if only to keep himself from reaching for his mate.
“Crazy right? W-well, I’m glad Kacchan is okay. I know Kiri will take good care of you, and I don’t want to overwhelm you with my presence or anything so-“ Izuku rambles, voice low and broken and utterly betraying him.
“That’s not what-“ Kacchan starts with a frown, but he doesn’t give him the chance to finish.
“I’ll, um,s-see you around okay?” Izuku replies wretchedly as he all but dashes away.
***
After that encounter, Izuku tries to avoid Kacchan to the best of his abilities. But at night, he can’t hold it together. He re-reads the letters that Kacchan sent him while he was away on his mission over and over again until the words are etched in his heart and the paper has been crumpled and worn through in places.
When Izuku feels like he’s cried himself to sleep enough, he decides that maybe it is for the best that Kacchan didn’t remember their relationship.
All he can think about is how they must not have been actually bonded if Kacchan didn’t feel a thing when he saw him. Because Izuku felt like his heart had been forcibly ripped out of his body, and Kacchan…Kacchan looked at him like another extra in his way because maybe he was. Maybe this whole time they’ve been together all he had done was just get in his way.
He couldn’t believe he had deluded himself into thinking Kacchan would remember their bond. So, Izuku buries himself in hero work. He makes sure he's appointed in districts Kacchan isn’t in. He feels dirty every time he even gets a whiff of his own scent. Distress and anguish smell like blood to him, and he feels dirty and ashamed. It feels like the shame is sinking into him in a way that will never come out.
He starts taking scent and heat suppressants every day after. The heats were a low and uncomfortable itch under his skin that goes away after a few hours, and his scent is washed clean.
But then, Kacchan starts seeking him out.
He’s on the top of a roof during patrol when he catches his scent, but it's a little too late for him to run away. He’s already being crowded by his fiancé or ex-fiance?—into the wall of the building.
“H-hi Kacchan,” Izuku stutters out.
“Why have you been avoiding me, Deku? It’s been a month since I came back. I thought we were supposed to be hero partners, ha?!” Kacchan says with a frown.
“W-we are. There's just been so much work, the hero commission can’t really spare us like that.”
“Bullshit. What the fuck do you take me for da—” Kacchan starts and suddenly he's leaning down close to Izukus neck. “Whose ring is that?” he continues with a frown. Izuku finally gets a look at Kacchan and he doesn’t miss the dark circles under his eyes, making him seem so young. His expression is openly despairing like he's being betrayed, and it makes his breath catch, makes his omega cry for his alpha.
Izuku reaches for the engagement ring tied around his neck, and his heart sinks and sinks. “It’s mom's old ring,” he responds with a tight smile.
Kacchan’s frown deepens and he moves closer to Izuku's neck and inhales. Kacchan’s closeness almost makes his knees buckle right on the spot but finally puts some distance between them. Izuku can still feel him on his skin; can still feel the light tinge of angry alpha pheromones.
“Whatever, dumb Deku,” he states, voice clipped. “Get your fucking self checked. You smell of shitty chemicals and look like fucking death too.”
Izuku winces at his tone. He looks down at his far too battered hands and scuffs his foot against the floor. He knows he has gotten thinner since they'd last seen each other. The heat and scent suppressants are taking a toll on his body. The despair and grief his omega is going through isn’t helping either.
“Sorry, Kacchan. It's my, um, meds,” he lies. “But anyway I have to go back on patrol. See you a-around, okay?”
He leaves without giving Kacchan the chance to respond. His chest explodes with a sadness so strong it gives him whiplash, tears streaming down his cheeks before his mind can even catch up with the emotion.
***
“Izuku please, you need to talk to him. He deserves to know,” Kirishima tells him one day. He has been coming by to check on him every chance he gets, and while Izuku is thankful for his friend, he is also tired. Tired of having another person to fail. The pleading look in his eyes doesn’t help the pain in Izuku's heart.
“No. He—he deserves to be happy, Kiri. Telling him will just set him back. It’s better this way!”
“You can’t put this only on yourself, Izuku,” Kirishima growls. “He wants to see you. He misses you. Maybe what he needs to remember is to see you. God, look at you. You’re days from going into heat. He’ll want to help you,” he continues to plead.
Kiri is right about one thing. His heat. He wonders if he can smell him, but then again, betas aren’t affected by such things. But Izuku is very well aware of how this isn’t a normal heat. The suppressants are taking such a heavy toll on him that the headaches aren’t even the worst of it. But nothing is tying him to Kacchan anymore. He needs to finally let him go and be happy, but this grief…this grief he feels is the only thing he has left of their love, so he’ll hold on to it as long as possible.
“I don’t want to be his burden anymore, Kiri. I can’t,” Izuku cries.
Kirishima smiles sadly and wraps his arms around Izuku tightly. “He may not remember you now, but he will. Even if he doesn’t have all the memories, he knows you,” he whispers.
And just like that Izuku melts; his walls fall. He clings to Kirishima like his life depends on it. He helps him clean up and feeds him. He must pass out because he doesn’t even remember feeling Kiri leave. He only remembers pure and utter sadness and pain.
Izuku wakes up to a hard and insistent banging on his door. He tries to get up but he almost falls over at how dizzy he feels. He can only whimper at the strong alpha smell coming from behind the door. It’s so strong and potent, it brings tears to his eyes.
***
When Katsuki wakes up from his quirk attack, almost 10 years older, and apparently, a full-fledged hero working with Deku as his hero partner, appalled doesn't even cover half of how he feels.
Kirishima is there when he wakes up. He tries to explain to him that he was hit by a quirk and that some of his memories are missing. He’s conflicted at first, but then he sees Deku, looking so fucking sad and distraught, his alpha whines at the sight, but he didn’t know what these feelings were. All he knows is that there is a deep ache in his heart and a loneliness he can’t explain.
And he tries to remember. Tries to remember his new life, but the only thing on his mind is Deku. Deku and his sad eyes that look like they’re on the verge of spilling tears any minute. Deku and his tiny frame, thinner than when they were at UA. Deku and his hair that looks so disheveled as if he runs his hands through it a hundred times a day out of anxiety.
So, he seeks him out; catches him on top of a rooftop while he’s on patrol, and the anger and rage he feels at the engagement ring around Deku's neck makes his alpha screech. And then he tries to get a whiff of who it belongs to because he knows Auntie never had an engagement ring, but all he smells are disgusting chemicals and sadness. It’s light and almost nonexistent, but it’s there.
He doesn’t even have to try hard to contain himself because the look of pure heartbreak on Deku's face is enough to freeze him on the spot.
Katsuki tries to get acquainted, but the only one who treats him the same is Kirishima. Everyone else gives him a look of pity, and he fucking hates it. But he’s thankful Shitty Hair isn’t treating him like some invalid and opened up his home to him.
But one evening, when Kirishima comes home from patrol he takes one whiff, and he’s pushed back by the smell, and suddenly all he sees is red when Kirishima approaches him. Kirishima, he smells of omega in heat, but not just any omega. HIS OMEGA. HIS DEKU. The overwhelming smell of depressed, distraught omega is almost enough to bring him to his knees, and it brings him back to a worried Kirishima asking him if he’s okay.
“Where is Deku?” he manages out with a growl.
“I—he’s home but—“ Kirishima stammers.
“I’m his fucking alpha, tell me where he is,” Katsuki snaps, alpha pheromones washing over him. The only thing on his mind being his omega.
When he gets to Deku's apartment, he all but breaks the door with his banging.
“DEKU, OPEN THE DOOR!”
Katsuki hears a gasp, and finally, the door unlocks.
Deku opens the door in nothing but one of Katsuki’s shirts and a face full of tears that he failed to wipe away. The smell of utter despair makes him stumble back in shock.
“Kacchan?” He whispers weakly. “W-what is it? I-is everything o-okay? Did Kirishima send you because I-I’m f—-“
Katsuki growls at the sound of Kirishima's name. He isn't angry, but…something else stirs in him. A possessiveness, a primal part of him that screams, ‘you’re mine’.
And finally, it hits him. It feels like watching a million fireworks go off at once; it feels like someone has pried loose every single jammed window in Katsuki’s heart and thrown them all open at once to let in the light.
Katsuki cradles Deku's face, touches his lips and his jaw and his eyelids, traces his thumb over the shape of his cheekbones, and then touches his mouth again. He feels a decade dissolve beneath his fingertips and feels the warm wind whip around their shoulders and ankles.
Warm and safe, not snapped of memory and desire, not alone anymore.
He remembers the look in Deku's eyes when they bonded;remembers the day he proposed to him, and even the first time they kissed. Anger flares in his chest because how could he have forgotten? How could he have missed how broken his omega was?
“K-Kacchan?” Deku whimpers. A shocked, wheezing breath leaves his lips as tears begin to fall from his eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Deku. God, I’m so fucking sorry.”
Katsuki wraps his arms around him and whispers into the crook of Deku’s neck. Deku’s sharp breath rings like glass shattering. Katsuki feels like a coward because he doesn’t even look at him as he says those words. What kind of fucking alpha lets his mate suffer like this?
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve been here. God, baby, look at you.”
“Y-you remember? Is i-it really you?” Deku stammered out between sobs. And he sounds sorry and sad, and like the words are sticking like memories in his throat, too. “I-I didn’t—“
“I know, baby. I remember everything. I’m so sorry it took me so long, but I’m here now, okay?”
And Deku looks up at him, that searching look that Katsuki remembers now all too well—it means that Deku is still looking for the truth in Katsuki’s words. Like he can’t quite believe that Katsuki’s real; that Katsuki loves him like he does or still wants to stay with him. Like he expects Katsuki to disappear again.
“It’s me, baby. Let me in,” Katsuki says softly.
Deku melts at his words, clinging to Katsuki, tight and desperate, and sobbing; and then Deku kisses him, and kisses him again, and keeps on kissing Katsuki, soft and sweet and wet, with a kind of wordless warmth he's known to love. And, God, the kisses feel like promises as they spill from their lips.
“I missed you so much.”
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you so fucking much,” Katsuki answers as he ghosts his thumbs over Deku’s cheekbones. He presses their foreheads together, painting his omega in alpha pungency. Deku watches him silently with a dopey look on his face while he spreads the scent around, rubbing it into Izuku’s skin to mix with his own.
Deku lets out a soft squeak and looks at him with the same fondness in his eyes that Katsuki has had the privilege of looking at since they were brats. His eyes are glossy with tears, a smile on his face that reflects the one on Katsuki’s–-the smile you get when you finally see someone you love after so long apart.
Katsuki doesn't know what to do with that—he never has and doesn't think he ever will. So he just tries to press his love into a kiss, to breathe everything he's feeling into Deku's lungs. And he doesn't think it's enough—it doesn't even come close, but they'll make do.
Finally, a whiff of their scents drifts off their skin, soft and sweet and just everything. He’s just glad to be home again.